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WASHINGTON DC – White House Press Secretary Dana Perino announced that Saturn’s moon Titan would be taking Iraq’s place in the Axis of Evil. “This is because of oil, isn’t it?” Said Helen Thomas. “And it’s a little late in coming.” “Well, yes it is,” said Dana, “but we were approaching this all wrong at first. For about two months everyone was telling George about a discovery made concerning a moon of Saturn, and he just tuned out. He doesn’t respond well to information that he thinks is ‘all sciency.’ And for a while he thought we were talking about a high school football team. But then Richard Pearl came for a visit and suggested we say, ‘Oil was discovered’ before bringing up Titan. Well it worked. Once we had his attention, George naturally asked ‘Where?’ well, we told him and he insisted that Titan join the Axis of Evil.”
In June of 2008, NASA scientists discovered what they believe to be massive lakes, larger than the Great Lakes of North America, of methane or ethane. Although hypothesized about for years, this was the first time that scientists could announce with any degree of certainty that the lakes of hydrocarbons truly exist on Titan.
It is known that David Frum, the person responsible for coining the original phase, Axis of Evil, and others, have repeatedly tried to explain the pitfalls of naming an uninhabited moon, currently unreachable by manned flight, to the list of future targets.
“Mr. Bush will have none of that,” said Secretary of Energy Sam Bodman. “and he has ordered me and Dick to take care of the tactics. So, Dick is convening a task force this week. - Wait! That’s off the record! I don’t want any of you thinking that we are preparing for an invasion… cause we’re going to avoid war at all costs. We want peace, so this is all up to Titan now; the ball is in its court.
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