Oy! The Baptists knocked on my door and asked me if I believed in God.

[tannybogus]

I said yes, and that I thought she was a mathemetician. She tempted mortal man with zero and pi.

She sent Galileo to try and straighten out our silly asses. Geometry and Fibonacci numbers

are books in the Old Testament and fractals and Godel numbering are in the New Testament.

The Golden rule is A squared plus B squared equals C squared.

They left rather quickly.
:shrug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. LOL

[roguevalley]

46. The fastest I ever saw Mormons leave was when my sister's

rather AWESOME black and tan Doberman, Pagan, came around the corner wanting to play. They were following my mother as she told them to leave and started around the house. Very funny moment. I
am really irritated the someone might think my deepest and most personal philosophy about life
was either not there or needed fine tuning.

[AzNick]

48. Next time I will ask for democratic missionaries only

Next time mormon missionaries show up to my door I will tell them that I will only accept to talk about conversion if they send me democratic missionaries.

When pigs fly, I guess. Lipstick or not.

[tannybogus]

49. The LDS came by once. I used Bill Maher's phrase.

I told them I would talk to them about God if they would show me their

"magic underwear." They walked swiftly away.:shrug:

[AzNick]

51. Worse trick: order someone Book of Mormon

Someone did that to me: my local LDS elder showed up and delivered a Book of Mormon that I was supposed to have ordered from their Web site.

Turned out my sister in law did it (we play tricks on each other).

With him were 2 kids on bikes, with their little goofy helmets.

They kept coming until one day I called the elder and told him I was going to call the police and file charges for harrasment.

[glinda]

2. Are you sure they were really Baptists?

Maybe they were doing work for Pubs determining all the people they will harass when they get in office?

[tannybogus]

5. They probably were Rethugs, bu t they had Baptist lit. nt

[Marrah_G]

3. I generally ask them "Which God? There are so many to choose from"

[The_Casual_Observer]

4. pi are round

I think it's in Luke, verse something or other.

[A HERETIC I AM]

52. The book of Parabola, Ch. 4, Vs. 27. n/t

[Connie_Corleone]

6. Since when do Baptists go door to door?

Are you sure they weren't Jehovah Witnesses?

[tannybogus]

8. Yes! They come from the Baptist Temple which is about 2 miles from here.

I have lived long enough down here to recognize them and they gave out Temple pamphlets.

I don't get a LDS Temple. I get a Baptist one. I looked around but I don't see any mysterious

markings that means I am a heathen (like hobos used). Maybe it was the pentagram on my door. lol:hi:
:hide:

[yellowdogintexas]

36. trying to convert you, build the church. that is a time honored tradition

amongst certain groups.

[Bluebear]

25. Some of them have an Avon business on the side, so it's really efficient.

[knitter4democracy]

38. Some really conservative ones do.

Since St. Paul said to go door to door, that's what they do, completely ignoring the data that says it's the least efficient method of witnessing and that Paul lived in a time without advertising, phones, or the internet.

[Hekate]

7. ROFL--Great way to start the day, tanny!

C'mon, you made that up... :rofl:

Hekate

[tannybogus]

10. Nope. They came by once before, but I was half asleep.

I wasn't any good on an answer. This time I was prepared.:hi:

[dbonds]

9. You are supposed to save the Jehovia Witness flyers to give to the others when they knock.

[tannybogus]

11. They were Baptists and I do save the lit for religious recycles.

I'm making a math pamphlet of my beliefs to hand out should I be attacked again.

[Hekate]

13. I absolutely love this.

Thank you for your efforts on behalf of St. Pythagorus. :hi:

Hekate

[tannybogus]

41. No problem!I'm sure they thought Fibonacci was an agent of Satan! nt

[dbonds]

16. Here's a link if you want to quote any of the classics

http://www.sacred-texts.com/cla/index.htm

[tannybogus]

43. Thanks! I love having lots of sources to turn to! nt

[hfojvt]

23. You were attacked?

Siriusly?

[Xithras]

15. LOL! A friend once did something hilarious along those lines.

He is a Mormon-turned-atheist and had a few copies of the Book of Mormon sitting around his house. One day some JW's made the mistake of knocking on his door while he was bored and looking for some entertainment. The young JW woman asked him if he would like to speak to them about his relationship with God, and he stated that he'd love to and invited them in. They were thrilled to have a "potential convert" with such a friendly attitude, and he seated them in his living room while he went to fetch them some water. When he came back, he handed them each their water, placed a copy of the Book of Mormon in front of each of them, opened up his own copy, and launched right into the same recruiting mantra he'd used back when he'd actually been a believer and had gone on his mission (Mormon recruiting thing).

The two evangelists went pale and just about came out of their skin when he started in with his spiel, but as "good Christian evangelists" couldn't simply walk away. It turned into a 25 minute running biblical battle that finally ended when the older JW man said, "You know that you Mormons are all going to hell". He smiled and shot back, "No we're not. Mormons don't believe in hell the way you do." At that, the JW's stood up and walked out without a word.

[pansypoo53219]

12. i usaully say i have issues with catholics

no ou can't even get close.

[DemoRabbit]

14. Just tell them you're on your way out the door to worship satan

[Xithras]

17. Wrong answer. That's the worst possible thing to do.

Trust me, I've done THAT one MYSELF. The bastards went into overdrive and decided that I really needed SAVING. To them, it's one thing to be an unbeliever or to hold to a "fake" faith, but it's a completely different situation when they meet someone who actually follows the enemy of their god. The fuckers made it their mission to "save my soul" and were knocking on my door nearly every weekend for almost TWO MONTHS. It was different people every time, but they all KNEW I was a devil worshipper (I wasn't, but I thought the line would be funny and scare them away), and one woman was practically in tears because of what I was "doing to my eternal soul".

I thought it would be a funny joke, but it backfired BIGTIME.

[Chulanowa]

30. know what I call that?

Two months of free entertainment. of course, I would take it to extreme lentghs...

Them: *Knock knock knock*
Me: *Answers door in the nude wearing a goat mask* Well hoooooowdeeee y'all, c'mon in!
Them: Ah, er, uh, uhm...
Me: Well, sir if you're nervous, you can wait out here, but your wife looks like she'd really like some lemonade...

[DCKit]

20. MY God is low maintenance.

I don't even have to get out of bed to worship, let alone put on pants and shoes.

[underpants]

18. Yes that is why she had the crusades, so we could learn about math, health care, and bathing

is another response

but yours is excellent

[Ikonoklast]

19. I keep a Book of Mormon handy when the fundies come a knockin'

I try to give it to them. The look of horror on their faces is priceless.

I usually tell the Jehovah's Witnesses that I *am* God.



My second oldest son is far worse. When he sees the God Squad coming up the walk, he strips to the waist, picks up Hobbes, his all-black tomcat, and answers the door.

Standing there half-naked, with all his tats and piercings, rubbing on 'ol Hobbes, he invites them in to join the ceremony in the basement, it just got started.

The one time he pulled that his older brother was in the basement screaming like he was being tortured with a red-hot poker.

They were laughing so hard telling me that story it took me a while to figure it out.

My daughter said it was first time she actually saw a persons' face turn gray.

[Arugula Latte]

40. OMG. I so admire people who have the guts to do these things.

:rofl:

[SeaLyons]

21. That's hilarious....

I would have just slammed the door in their face.

[unblock]

24. i used to do that but it only gets them to the next victim faster.

i figure it's my moral duty to waste at least some of their time.
it's the least i can do for my neighbors :evilgrin;

[SeaLyons]

26. I admire your moxy....

I would either start laughing, or end up screaming at them.

[tannybogus]

44. Oooooh!

I won't do that! God may have a sense of humor,

but I don't think she likes rude people! LOL

[YOY]

22. When you find out they are in the hood put on black lingerie light black candles...

and use your most sultry voice and bedroom eyes when speaking to them.

Watch them squirm...


I knew a woman who did that to them...not the sexiest of women but damn could she put on the succubus when she wanted to.

[shaniqua6392]

27. My Daughter's fiance takes off his pants and shirt

and answers the door in his underwear! Now when they get to the end of the sidewalk, they look down at their papers and take off to the next house. He learned this trick from his own father who let them in one time and proceeded to clean his rifle while they were talking. Awkward!! LOL!! They never came back to his house either.

[yardwork]

28. My dad used to tell them he was Roman Catholic. They ran away and never came back.

This only works in rural backwoods areas like where I grew up, and it's important to include the *Roman* part. It scares them more.

[Vincardog]

29. NExt time say "The BIBLE says to beware of False profits, the real saved can survive

snake bites. I don't have a snake. The real saved can drink poison and not be harmed. Wait here I will get you a cup of Drano". Watch their faith in action

[LeftishBrit]

31. k&r - that's hysterical!

[greenman3610]

32. I usually say

'What I love most about Jesus Christ is that he
wasn't a Christian"

[Arugula Latte]

42. Hah! Good one.

Kinda like those bumper stickers: "Lord, save me from your followers."

[ejpoeta]

33. great! now it isn't just the jehovah's witnesses i have to fend off!!

man i miss my big german shepherd. sigh. would a no solicitors sign keep them away?

[glitch]

34. That's good. :) mine is simpler, I just smile mysteriously and say 'Well, I believe in MY God"

They leave quickly, because I can smile VERY mysteriously. Of course if they get their Armageddon I'll probably be one of the first they burn. Unless I am raptured. Neener neener. ;)

[ColbertWatcher]

35. Math nerds for the win! n/t

[mmonk]

37. LOL. Bookmarked.

[knitter4democracy]

39. Makes sense to me. I love the Finonacci series.

It's very big amongst knitters, actually. Makes for great stripes patterns.

So, what's the quadratic formula? I was always partial to that one myself. Would that be part of the Sermon on the Mount? ;)

[tannybogus]

45. Song of Solomom.

:rofl:

[knitter4democracy]

47. Now that's funny.

Gave me a good chuckle. :)

[tannybogus]

50. I had to go to church until I moved out on my own.

And not just once on Sunday. I had to go to Sunday school, Preachin', and then a night service.

I might have to go on Wednesday too. I was Jesused out at the end of the day. However, I

couldn't help but pick up info in all those years so I am well armed to take on the wingnuts.

I don't go back except for weddings and funerals.:evilgrin:

[demwing]

53. I avoided some Jehovah's Witnesses by inviting them inside to chant Hare Krishna!

The never , ever, ever came back. Quite an achievement.