Live DU Sports: DUSPN! The Bailout Olympics! Which team will win this inevitable tie?

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Things are getting heated..

"It's the Tinfoilers VS the Magical Thinkers. "

Mark Berkeyhouse: "Dave, I think the Tinfoilers have really made some gains this season. Their defense team is solid this time around. If you think of their main positions: Neo-conservative involvement in 9/11, No WMDs in Iraq, government spying, habeus corpus, the RNC arrests, and election fraud..."

Dave Robbins:"And Mark, don't forget their new offensive positions: both the US infantry patrolling US soil starting today and the distrust of Paulson's grab of the Fed in the wake of the crash."

Mark Berkeyhouse: "That's a big one, Dave. I think that the FBI investigation into Fannie and Freddie is really on their side. They're on their home turf in this round for sure. Their populism is working. It's a fantastic ground strategy. But the unity factor is a danger: there isn't exactly a lot of ass-slapping in the lockerroom between the Kucinich trainees, the mainstream dems, the lefties, and the Paul types."

Dave Robbins: "It's a danger, Mark. There's no way they'll hold it together. It's a risky move, but their momentum is strong. I gotta say, I think the magical thinkers have a big shot, though. A big shot."

Mark Berkeyhouse: "Oh they're not out of the running, Dave. Not by a long shot. They're positions are the most solid in the game's history and their record is unbeatable. You've got the optimism strategy, it just feels good."

Dave Robbins: "Americans want to hear: we can fix it, we can work it out, not a problem, things ain't so bad, get a pair, get real, you just didn't try hard enough."

Mark Berkeyhouse: "But with the Tinfoilers running so strong on the data angle, they're facing some setbacks."

Dave Robbins: "That's true, Mark, but the Magical Thinkers love a challenge. It's hard keeping such a peppy worldview in a country this fucked up. But they're committed to their position and they're holding on. Plus, they're an American favorite. The media and the politicians are crazy about them. They're the backbone of our nation."

Mark Berkeyhouse: "I'd have to agree Dave, it's only a matter of time before the Tinfoilers fumble the pass and start ranting about the Amero and then it'll be all over. Plus they're easy to provoke. They're easy to set up and knock down. Just send in an agent to mess with them and they blow up like a balloon full of confetti, round over."

Dave Robbins: "That sounds like Tinfoil talk to me, Mark! The Magicals would tell you that no one sets them up, they set themselves up through their paranoia and lack of positive mental attitude."

Mark Berkeyhouse: "You're probably right, Dave, you're probably right. So who do you predict for the win?"

Dave Robbins: "I'd say that it looks like the Magicals are going to gain a field advantage soon: desperation. But in the long run I think we both know that neither team is going to win and it's all going to be a big clusterfucking waste of time."

Mark Berkeyhouse: "Better than the teams duking it out in the streets."

Dave Robbins: "Well, that's what we have the 1st Infantry Brigade coming here to make sure it never gets to that point."

Mark Berkeyhouse: "You could be right, Dave. Or it could all be completely legitimate. Only time will tell. The game is bound to be a tie."

Dave Robbins: "Is that because all zings and pwned will be erased due to the economic downturn, Mark?"

Mark Berkeyhouse: "That's part of it, Dave. There's only two ways this game is going to play out: everyone's going to go down hard, everyone's going to go down permanently, or everyone but the Bushistas and their backers are going to go down permanently."

Dave Robbins: "It's been a tough season for the players and the fans alike, Mark."

Mark Berkeyhouse: "That it has, Dave. That it has."

[BlooInBloo]

1. Pfft. We have Obama on our team. Not even a contest.