film BUGSY showed how to deal with Paulson: make him get down on his hands and knees and bark like a

[yurbud]

dog.

In the scene, Bugsy was establishing his alpha dog status over subordinate who wasn't appropriately deferential, so he did this ritual humiliation.

Before any senate or house vote on a bailout, Henry Paulson should get down on his hands and knees in Congress and say:

I and my kind are moral filth, who have done more damage to this country than any terrorists have. We do not even deserve the right to breathe the same air as hard-working Americans, and we deserve whatever punishment and wrath the American people want to heap on us. But letting us sink could hurt you too, so please, please, please clean up our shit on the carpet of our economy.

In exchange, we will open the books of our companies and all our shell companies, tell you where our off-shore accounts are so you can take that money, and willing submit to random personal audits, polygraphs, searches of our office and homes, and urine and blood tests for control substances. We will stop buying politicians and regulators, with political donations and jobs for them and their family members as lobbyists, consultants, CEOs, and board members.


We are unworthy of the trust of the American people, but if you keep us on a very short leash, we can fix or at least mitigate the damage we have done. To prove my repentance and respect for the American people, I will lick the shoes clean of every congressman and senator.

Then he would have to do it, preferably after everyone has visited a doggy park on a rainy day.