I'm Convinced: MORANISM IS A RELIGON. Help me Compile the Commandments

[Wiley50]

Moses recieved his Commandments from a burning bush upon a mountain

Fast forward 5000 years

I'm getting these from flaming assholes on the internet


#1 Thou shall not think (at least not critically)

#2 Thou shall not check your spelling, ever



come on folks, I need help.

Who knows maybe we can prophet from this

[mcctatas]

1. ...

Thou shalt not take the name of Ronnie Reagan in vain?

[NV Whino]

2. Thou shalt not bitch about your lot in life.

[beac]

25. Unless thou art John McCain and/or a Wall Street executive.

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. THough shall eschew intellectual pursuits

[XemaSab]

21. Would a real MORAN use the word "eschew?"

:P

[Better Believe It]

23. Sounds like a sneeze to me! Eschew! Kazuntight!

[Snarkoleptic]

4. Thou shalt not speak ill of Caribou Barbie's Secretary of Transportation...

[Sebastian Doyle]

5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass

especially if it's a same sex neighbor!!

But sheep and cousins of the opposite gender are OK.

[Wiley50]

8. Mules are exempt in lots of 20 with plenty of borax n/t

[HughMoran]

6. Thou shall hate thy neighbor if they are of a different race

.

[defendandprotect]

7. #1-- THOU SHALT believe in a one-male god --

#2 -- be arrogant and violent --

#3 - love money --

[Historic NY]

9. thou shall worship Faux News ..

thou shall lie repeatedly so others may believe it true.

[stevedeshazer]

10. OUR RELIGON IS BETTER THAN YOURS

Repent or dye.

Chaos or Devine Odor?

[Mariana]

11. Thou shalt bear false witness against thy party's opponent.

[Initech]

12. Brawndo's got what plants crave.

[magdalena]

16. Frightening how similar that movie is to the real thing -

like Fey doing Palin.

[jwirr]

13. Thou shalt never ever apply logic to a situation.

[Adsos Letter]

14. "Faith-based arrogance...thou shalt have no other attitude before this."

[Rocknrule]

15. Thou shalt vote Republican

Thou shalt care about nothing but abortion and homosexuality
Thou shalt never question your leaders
Thou shalt not kill...unless it's someone of a different political party, skin color, or religion

[Mopar151]

17. Thou shalt mock thy betters n/t

[billyoc]

18. Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's goods.

Go into debt buying your own.

[Wiley50]

19. Some pretty good ones for the wee hours as it was

Guess I'll kick it once in primetime and see if any more pop up

[XemaSab]

20. Thou shalt dick around in school 'cause only nerds can read or write

:eyes:

[trof]

22. Thou shalt vote against thine own best interests.

[ddeclue]

24. Thou shalt blame thy problems in life on people who look different than you.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

26. Thou shall eat pretzels and speak gibberish when troubled by thine enemies.

[beac]

27. Thou shalt break many of the original 'Commandments', then Repent, Rinse and Repeat.

IOKIYAR.

[DFW]

28. Watch the video, and freeze it at "The Book of Dubya"

Third verse........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7dPISoH6Ok&mode=related&search=

[DevonRex]

29. Thou shalt not kill unless you just want to, or you need their money,

or you need their oil, or they're not Christian.

[G_j]

30. Thou shall love your wealthy masters, and hate the poor, including

yourself

[ColbertWatcher]

31. There is one GOP, thou shalt have no other Parties before me. n/t

[Holly_Hobby]

32. Thou shall not cast asparagus

:)

[babydollhead]

33. here are mine (first hand observation of in-laws)

Thou shalt not reconsider your first gut reaction.
Thou shalt see everything as Us and Them.
Thou shalt hang up a flag and accuse Others of being, Unpatriotic. The bigger and more flags, the better. Flag accessories and car decorations are acceptable.
Thou shalt not EVER equate your lot in life with the reasons for your own suffering.
Though shalt never question war. Especially if it's far away, and doesn't affect your day to day life.
Thou shalt be used freely by your church's clergy point of view.
Thou will only eat sweet pickles, never dill.
Thou will passive aggressively blame Others for anything uncomfortable that happens to you.
Thou shalt turn thy nose up at Science, Reason, Empathy, and above all, common decency and common sense.
Thou shalt love with conditions, and make sure to tell your own Grandchildren that, regrettably, they are going to burn in Hell forever.
Thou shalt have no time for your own adult children and their families if they do not adhere to your way of seeing. Also, it's a good idea to make substitute family relationships within the Church, since you will be going on to Heaven together anyway.
Thou shalt fear change.

[Kingofalldems]

34. Thou shalt dwell in thy mother's basement

[slampoet]

38. forever and ever amen.

[Sabriel]

35. Thou shalt not see the irony & satire in The Colbert Report n/t

[slampoet]

37. nor the irony and satire of Larry the Cable Guy.

[DearAbby]

36. Thou shalt lay around in thy parent's basement

in grimey fruit of the looms, with one small kiwi hanging out, while cruising the internet for new exciting Palin pictures.

[Cobalt Violet]

39. Thou shall call yourself "Joe SixPack" or "Hockey Mom"

[johnaries]

40. Thou shalt have no other gods before Reagan.