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It turns out that Ashley Todd had been blogging via her cell phone on Twitter the night that she claims to have been attacked. The police have looked through her various blog postings and have found that many of the details she noted are corroborated by her postings.
10/22/08 7:15 Mood: Excited
Hi guys! I know it’s been a while since I last blogged (about 35 minutes by my estimation), so I just wanted to let you know what I was up to. Wow, Pennsylvania is way different than Texas. Especially Pittsburgh! You should see the weird looks I get walking down the street in my 10 gallon hat. And don’t even get me started on the barbeque!!! The campaigning is going great! I’m getting the word out to as many people as possible the positive and exciting nature of McCain’s platform. Anyway, I’m gonna have to cut this short as I’m an hour and a half into finding an ATM machine without fees and I’m not about to give up now (I don’t get it, there are 1st Banks of Texas on every block back home, this place is backwards, I tell ya’).
10/22/08 7:48 Mood: Lost
Well guys, I’m entering into hour 3 of my quest to find an ATM machine without fees. Those banks just got a trillion dollars of our hard earned money and I’ll be DAMNED if they get another two bucks from me. On the plus side, this part of Pittsburgh reminds me a lot of home. There are gun and liquor stores everywhere! I’m also noticing an awful lot of black people, many of them large and intimidating. I guess it must be due to the elevation here up in the mountains. For some reason, the longer I’ve been driving, the less receptive people have been to my positive and exciting message. Oh well, if you guys know anything about me, it’s that I’m not a quitter. I won’t quit on the McCain campaign just as I won’t quit trying to find a 1st Bank of Texas ATM.
10/22/08 8:36 Mood: Nervous
I decided to ditch the 10 gallon hat as the people around here have ZERO in terms of Texas cheer. Now, I’m not the best at differentiating amongst blacks, but I’m pretty sure the guy following me is the same one I encountered on the street a while back who gave me a funny look. Oh well, I’m sure he just wants to ask me about the positive and hopeful message of the John McCain/Sarah Palin ticket. I would have stopped to let him know a while ago, but I’ve got to have my Starbucks fix and I’m sure a feeless ATM machine is just around the corner. Speaking of Starbucks, where the hell can I find one? Just what do people around here use their liquor for if not for coffee?
10/22/08 8:51 Mood: Triumphant
Success!!! I finally found a 1st Bank of Pittsburgh (I assume they’re part of the 1st Bank franchise?). I just parked and I’m now heading out to the ATM. That large African American gentleman is following me to the ATM. Once I’m done withdrawing, I’ll be able to test out some of my new talking points on him! I’m sure once I inform him of Barack Obama’s Muslim background, we’ll have another McCain/Palin voter and Pennsylvania will be that much closer to becoming red this election season.
10/22/08 8:57 Mood: Bruised
Well now I’ve seen just about everything. It turns out that the large African American gentleman following me wasn’t interested in campaign literature at all!! After my successful withdrawal at 1st Bank of Pittsburgh (I still got charged a withdrawal fee, can you believe it?), he mugged me at knife point. Granted, it seemed to be a rather dull knife, but it was still incredibly traumatic none-the-less. He demanded $60 from me, and not wanted to create further confrontation, I gave it to him (sucker, I withdrew $100!).
10/22/08 9:01 Mood: Mutilated
Oh no!!! My worst fears are coming true!! As he left me, I saw the big black man thumbing through the McCain/Palin campaign literature I gave him along with the $60 he requested. He must have become so infuriated at the pamphlet’s message of peace, unity and inclusion that it sent him into a berserker rage. As of now, he’s pinned me down by sitting on my chest and he’s carving something into my face. The knife he had with him was duller than I thought, but like most Obama supporters, he’s sadistic and patient. I’m just going to have to wait this one out. Your thoughts and prayers are requested.
10/22/08 9:05 Mood: Confused
I’ve finally figured that the perpetrator of this vile act is carving a backwards B on my right cheek. He explained this bizarre tattooing to me thusly: “Hey bitch, maybe this will teach you to exercise your freedom of speech in Pittsburgh! Now you’ll have to spend the rest of your life, or at the very least the next few days bearing the mark of Obama. And by the way, the B is backwards to represent the backward direction this country has been going the past 8 years. Maybe next time you’ll think twice before running off at your mouth!” If there’s anything worse than an Obama supporter, it’s an Obama supporter who utilizes symbolism. Anyways, it’s becoming quite difficult blogging with this 6’4”, approximately 200lb frame sitting on my chest, I’ll have to tell you all the rest tomorrow. I can’t wait for this day to be over.
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