Douglas Coupland refuses to let you Americans bastardize history

[HEyHEY]

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/11/03/coupland-statue.html

:P

[skooooo]

1. Most Americans have no idea what the war of 1812 was. nt

[lelgt60]

9. deleted

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

12. Yup.

That's pretty much the extent to which Americans understand it.

[alfredo]

2. Very interesting. I haven't given much thought to the war of 1812. I

guess it wasn't dwelt on in my American History classes.

[melody]

3. You have your view of 1812, we have ours ... no "bastardization" required

It's best to leave it that way.

[HEyHEY]

4. Why? Cause you LOST.. face it we handed you your asses and now you don't wanna remember

[14thColony]

7. handed...asses

We chose the same wording for the same thing...I'm sure that says something, but I dunno what...

[Elidor]

8. ROFL!

Who are we to begrudge Canada one winning war? If we had won it, I'm sure it would get more play than it does. It's not exactly Washington crossing the Delaware, is it? Plus, you guys were pretty damn sharp in WWII, as I recall. Don't tread on Canada.

To me, 1812 is basically an Overture.

[14thColony]

15. Not to mention

the two Canadian volunteer regiments that fought as part of the Continental Army against the British in the American Revolutionary War (one of which was awarded the honorific title of "Congress' Own Regiment" for its performance in several key battles), plus being a pretty damned essential part of Allied victories in World War I and World War II (the Canadians stormed Juno Beach at Normandy, among many other contributions), plus the Korean War, and on and on.

I served with Canadian forces in Afghanistan and now in the UK. 100 percent impressive top to bottom. I'm glad they're on my side.

[HEyHEY]

17. truly, it wasn't even us anyway, it was Britain!

[sl8]

13. I thought it was a draw.

The Treaty of Ghent:
http://avalon.law.yale.edu/19th_century/ghent.asp

I still like Johnny Horton's rendition of Johnny Driftwood's "Battle of New Orleans", though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4Q47i4zGBs

Edited to give Jimmy Driftwood proper credit. Thanks, lelgt60.

[melody]

18. I didn't lose or win anything ... neither did you ...

Trying to accept or impose blame on something like this is ludicrous.

If you need to believe you "won", by all means do so. It makes no difference in the real world.

[HEyHEY]

20. Wow, you need to lighten up, we're just shitting around here

[melody]

22. I don't find jingoism, cultural arrogance and national chauvinism funny

... no matter who it's coming from.

[HEyHEY]

24. Considering none of those exist in this, again, lighten up

[melody]

28. Welcome to my ignore list n/t

[HEyHEY]

29. In that case, fuck off! Small-minded git with a school marm complex and a tight ass (In a bad way)

[Art_from_Ark]

23. So, what exactly did you gain from the War of 1812?

Besides pillaging a few items from a burning White House?

Basically, after 2+ years of war, things pretty much reverted back to where they were before, except that Great Britain agreed to stop impressing American sailors, and the United States gave up ideas about annexing Canada.

[HEyHEY]

25. My great, great, great,great grandpa won some nice door prizes!

[Art_from_Ark]

26. Was it the new car behind Door Number 1

or the toaster-oven behind Door Number 2?
Or the goat behind Door Number 3?

[HEyHEY]

27. The goat, cause those other two things weren't around back then

[Jack Rabbit]

5. I grew up with the idea that we Yanks won the War of 1812

I'm 57.

However, I now realize the only reason that the British didn't defeat us was that they had better and more important things to do, like fight Napoleon in Europe.

[14thColony]

6. Funny enough

I was just discussing the War of 1812 with my British colleagues here in the UK today. And I freely admitted we got our asses handed to us by the British and Canadian forces in that one. Some of the 'battles' during the US invasion of Canada would be hilarious is they weren't so sad. 8,000 US troops routed by a British-Canadian force of less than 800 in one engagement. Wow.

I learned about the conveniently-overlooked buring of York from a Canadian Army captain while I was in Afghanistan. Had never been taught a thing about it, but suddenly it made sense of the burning of Washington - an act of revenge for York.

[DonCoquixote]

10. You had your victories

But I am sure your ancestors are thankful they were not in New Orleans when Andrew Jackson routed them, or in Florida when they were kicked out. Both of them places the Spanish held onto for years, but we traded to keep Havana which had been stolen (biggest mistake Spain made, among many)

[14thColony]

16. Errrr......

I was born and raised in Florida...pretty sure Britain was forced to return Florida to Spain as part of the Treaty of Versailles in 1783. So how did we capture it from the British in 1814 when we got it from the Spanish in 1819? I'm confused, but then I am a product of the Florida public education system, so it happens a lot...

[lelgt60]

11. In 1814 we took a little trip...

The Battle of New Orleans, by Jimmy Driftwood

In 1814 we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans

We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began to runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

We looked down the river and we seed the British come
And there must have been a hundred of 'em beatin' on the drum
They stepped so high and they made their bugles ring
We stood behind our cotton bales and didn't say a thing

We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began to runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise
If we didn't fire our muskets till we looked 'em in the eyes
We held our fire till we seed their faces well
Then we opened up our squirrel guns and gave 'em..
Well... we...

Fired our guns and the British kept a'comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began to runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

Yeah they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

We fired our cannon till the barrel melted down
So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round
We filled his head with cannonballs 'n' powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind

We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began to runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

Yeah they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

[skooooo]

14. Oh THAT war...

Hell yeah! We won that war!!!

[HEyHEY]

19. We have our own version

Come back proud canadian's,
To before you had TV.
No hockey night in canada,
there was no CBC.

In 1812 madison was mad,
He was the president you know.
Well he thought he'd tell the british where they ought to go.
He thought he'd invade canada,
He thought that he was tough.
Instead we went to washington,
And burned down all his stuff.

And the white house burned, burned, burned.
And we're the ones that did it,
It burned, burned, burned.
While the president ran and cried,
It burned, burned, burned.
And things were very historical,
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies WaWaWa
In the war of 1812.

Those hilbilies from kentucky,
Dressed in green and red.
Left home to fight in canada,
But they returned home dead.
It's the only war the yankies lost except for vietnam.
And also the alomo and the bay of ham.
The loser was america,
The winner was ourselfs.
So join right in and gloat about the war of 1812.

And the white house burned, burned, burned.
And we're the ones that did it,
It burned, burned, burned.
While the president ran and cried,
It burned, burned, burned.
And things were very historical,
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies WaWaWa
In the war of 1812.

In 1812 we were just sitting around,
Minding our own business,
Putting crops into the ground.
We heard the soilders coming,
And we didn't like that sound.
So we took a boat to washington and burned it to the ground.

Oh we fired our guns but the yankies kept a coming,
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and the yankies started running,
Down the mississippi to the gulf of mexico.
They ran through the snow,
And they ran through the forest,
They ran through the bushes where the beavers wouldn't go,
They ran so fast they forgot to take they're culture,
Back to america, and gulf and mexico.

So if you go to washington,
It's building clean and nice,
Bring a pack of matches,
And we'll burn the white house twice.

And the white house burned, burned, burned,
But the americans wont admit it.
It burned, burned, burned...
It burned and burned and burned
It burned, burned, burned
I bet that made them mad.
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies WaWaWa
In the war of 1812.

[eilen]

21. I always knew we lost the War of 1812

I live near Fort Ontario.

From the little I remember I believe the US was unprepared. I have distant relatives in Canada, they were Loyalists that fled to Canada around the time of the American Revolution (not sure if it was the end of it or not).