A Thanksgiving joke!

[Joanne98]

A young man named John received a parrot as an early Christmas gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and shoved him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said ‘I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.’

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued…

‘May I enquire as to what the turkey did?’

– Happy Thanksgiving to All

http://solari.com/blog/?p=1866

That's for all of you who feel like punching out your family right now. Tell them a joke and lighten up!

[kayakjohnny]

1. That's pretty good. I might've heard it in the past, but thanks for the post.

Got a good Thanksgiving laugh out of it. Cheers!

[Joanne98]

2. Cheers to you too!

:toast:

[kayakjohnny]

4. And, by the way, your parrot is kind of special. Usually they're known for their

enunciation and their pronunciation, but rarely for their sentence structure. Or their good manners. And your bird, I believe, has just raised the bar.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear Joanne98!

I've heard this one before, but it never gets old!

Thanks for posting, and have a great Thanksgiving!

:rofl:

:hug:

[Joanne98]

5. Thanksgiving to you to Peggy!

:hi:

[left is right]

6. This is a cleaned up version of my favorite joke

In my version the parrot cusses a lot. In desperation he is put in the freezer and comes out saying "What did that bird say, 'F*#k?'"
I will have to remember your version. Thanks

[Gwendolyn]

7. Someone told this oldie tonight...

... and we still laughed. :D

And elderly couple has been living together in wedded bliss for 30 odd years. The only argument they ever have, and they have it often, is over the husband's loud gaseous emissions. The wife has changed their diet, pleaded with him to get help, threatened to leave, all to no avail. The human wind machine perseveres, and each morning, the noxious fumes and loud explosions knock her out of bed. She continues to chide him that one day. he'll blow his innards right out of his body.

One Thanksgiving morning, the wife gets up early to start the turkey feast. She can hear the house-shaking trumpeting from the upstairs bedroom as her husband sleeps, untroubled by the racket, and after 30 years something snaps inside her head.

She gathers up the bloody turkey neck, heart, and kidneys and tiptoes upstairs, carefully dumping the mess into her hubbie's boxers. Once back downstairs she waits. Soon enough, the firecracker tooting and blasting continues, only this time followed by a curdling shriek, and then complete silence.

About 15 minutes later the husband appears at the kitchen door, his face ashen. He says, "you were right! I finally blew my innards out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers, I managed to get them back in again!"

Bad, I know. :P

[gratefultobelib]

8. Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard at that one I couldn't get my breath for a moment!!