I confess to being mean in my observations below. The following post is pure gloat--total schaudenfreude. I should be ashamed of myself, laughing at others' discomfort like this. Someone this mean should have their jaw broken and their mouth wired shut.
But I'm bored and a little cranberry-stuffed and I just finished my post-turkey nap when I got a wild hair from one of our family discussions tonight. So I'm here to review how our right of center and wingnut friends reacted to the enthusiastic election of a progressive president and an enhanced liberal Democratic congress.
Glenn "Instapundit" Reynolds, the grandaddy of conservative bloggers was blinded by hope going into election night. On Halloween, a weekend before election day, he looked at an outlier poll
and generalized:
Hmm. Polls sure do seem volatile this season.
Except only they weren't. The polls were remarkably steady this year, consistently showing Obama sliding into a 4-8% victory margin. But one thing to be warned about with conservatives: they often see things the way they want things to be.
The day before the election, most cons were bracing themselves for bad news. The loveable mooks at the
RovianConspiracy started posting their EC predictions, but only one,
MonterreyJohn, kept the faith and called it for McCain by 50 EC votes.
MJ explained:
This is just "informed gut," but I just am not believing these polls, and I think the Joe the Plumber economy has real life. I think the Obama infomercial was a fiasco last night and did more harm than good.
Monterrey John is sorta right in one respect--most people in Joe the Plumber's economic situation were concerned about the way things were going. This is why they voted for the candidate promising the be different than Bush.
The other Rovians called it for Obama but kept Indiana & Florida red. Much of the blame for this could be attributed to the media's inevitable pro-Obama bias:
NBC will be eager to call Virginia and Pennsylvania early on Tuesday, and will cite exit polls throughout the day to give the impression that all is lost.
By the way,
TPM's Josh Marshall comfortably peshaws the inevitable rightwing complaint that the lapdog media were so
unfai-air to John McCain:
Going into this year, there was probably no national politician more liked or more favorably covered in the nation than John McCain. Remember, the DC press corps was McCain's "base." For virtually the entire election cycle, national political reporters continued to grade McCain on a curve... {I}n September, McCain... and his campaign told a series of falsehoods that were so outside the bounds even by the normal standards of political lying and took a number of steps that where so erratic and reckless (Palin, campaign suspension, etc.) that the nature of his coverage finally began to change.
In short, the supposed "pro-Obama bias" was a result of the media reporting the facts while Obama acted like a grown up. But let's get back to the crazy people.
The day before the election,
Pajamas Media blogger Roger Simon took the biggest step outside the dignity zone,
declaring:
If McCain loses, I’m moving to France. France is more conservative and they’ve got better food. And isn’t that the grand tradition of Hollywood sore losers?
Actually that's a pretty good jab on liberal silliness--the only problem being that some of his readers took the suggestion literally and engaged in a debate on the merits of moving to France.
1.
Roger,
After tomorrow, there will be NOWHERE to run.
Even Sarkozy’s France and Berlusconi’s Italy are still pretty left-wing places (and not safe places to be Jewish). Stephen Harper’s Canada has been too overwhelmed by the Obama of their past - Trudeau — who socialized and wussified the country.
Australia threw out a great leader in John Howard for a leftist regime. Israel’s survival is in doubt, and while they hate the left in Poland, they also have a long history of hating Jews.
Your best bet — move to Red State America and get them to secede.
3.
In two weeks it’s Brazil for me (Recife). I’ve got six months free rent and after that I’ll find a nice girl who likes the US passport and make babies. Then they can’t kick me out. John Galt, Johnny Depp- who cares? Samba, feathers and caipirinhas baby.
4.
Hong Kong, Singapore, Ireland, New Zealand, Chile and Estonia are the only ones on my potential radar. Unfortunately none give enough marginal freedom to balance the loss of family and friends. They’ve got me by the short & curlies so to speak.
So for now, it’s tax mitigation, building businesses offshore, and relaxing to stay under that pesky 250, 150, 120 or however many thousand it is.
It’s a turd sandwich and apparently we might all have to take a bite.
Unless anyone wants to start creating man-made islands with me. There’s no way that off-world is the only option, although it is the ultimate– with 3 dimensions to escape in even Obama can’t chain us all.
5.
My dark horse: Russia. Strictly God, Czar & Country. And I hear they bump off the media. What’s not to love?
Um, guys... it was a joke! Once they carry the shtick on for more than a couple of sentences, they start to realize how truly alone they are in the sea of humanity. No wonder they all read Ayn Rand.
Meanwhile, as election day fell upon the hapless herd of harrowed hicks, the laconic Instapundit spit out the obligatory snarls at Farrakhan, ACORN, and William Ayers, before going full snark with the following eeeerily familiar poster.
By 9pm, Glenn was
grasping at straws:
AT THE MOMENT, MCCAIN IS AHEAD IN POPULAR VOTES
McCain: 9,118,971
Obama: 9,069,137
Yep, too bad the West Coast counts, too.
Other than that, Reynolds was pretty classy--if somewhat resigned--in conceding.
Other wingnuts weren't such good sports about what seems to be the standard eight year turn-around in the White House. On the day after the dust settled...
James Lileks:
I’m off to the Mall to sell razor blades so people can scrape off their “Question Authority” bumper stickers. Just remember: Dissent is still the highest form of patriotism. Except now it will be practiced by the lowest form of people... he’s my President now, dammit, and I’m not going to spend four years treating him with the contempt the Kos side heaped on Chimpy McPretzelchoker
{Chimpy McPretzelchoker--that's pretty good. But trust me, James, if Obama shreds the Bill of Rights and continues torturing prisoners as Bush has done, we'll retaliate by making up funny nicknames for him too}The feebs at
Jawa Report tried to be adult:
America has elected its first black President. Let white guilt end here. Let race based paranoia end here. That chapter in our history is now closed. From today forward, let no one doubt that America truly is the land of liberty and justice for all.
God bless America, God speed to President Obama, and God help us that our enemies don't see this as capitulation to their demands.
Then they entered the bargaining stage:
Just think how much fun opposition will be.
But it was a bad fit, so they went back and revised their first statement:
America has elected its first black Marxist President. Let white guilt end here. Let race based paranoia end here. That chapter in our history is now closed Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will never quit. From today forward, let no one doubt that America truly is used to be the land of liberty and justice for all.
God bless DAMN America, God NO LONGER ALLOWED IN PUBLIC speed to President Obama, and God help us that our enemies don't see this as capitulation to their demands hurt us too bad when Obama is tested within the first six months.
{That's it, kiddo, let it all out. It's not healthy to bottle up those feelings...}Nothing is more amusing than "pro competition" Republicans eating their ownThe boys at
Red State wasted no time declaring war on the McCain loyalists who declared war on Sarah Palin the day after the election:
RedState is pleased to announce it is engaging in a special project: Operation Leper. We're tracking down all the people from the McCain campaign now whispering smears against Governor Palin to Carl Cameron and others...
We intend to constantly remind the base about these people, monitor who they are working for, and, when 2012 rolls around, see which candidates hire them. Naturally then, you'll see us go to war against those candidates. It is our expressed intention to make these few people political lepers.
{Note: shortly after posting three names on their hit list and promising more names to come, they got calls from friends of friends and removed two of the names. They've added no more names since to the Fatwa since then--Guys, that's no way to run a pogrom!}Redstater Neil Steven:
Point one: There's no need to start pointing fingers within the party. This election was on style, not substance. No faction's to blame, and no policy is at fault. We know this because Obama won. He ran on no ideas at all.
http://www.redstate.com/diaries/redstate/2008/nov/04/well-that-was-disappointing/">Redstater Moe Lane should be on suicide watch:
Well, that was disappointing. Maybe slightly depressing. Ask me in the morning. Despair is, however, a sin, so we'll avoid it... I'm also aware that a fair number of people are going to take this opportunity to attempt to savagely mock my side of the political spectrum... and a few may even spare a mock or two for myself.
{Whoa, you get a pass, dude. Go eat some chocolate or read one of those Chicken Soup for the Soul books}Creepily named Power and Control:
In the spirit of biPartisanship we are going to need some good nicknames for That One. Now some or all of these may not be the best but I want to start the ball rolling...
* President ACORN
* President Fannie
* President Hussein
* President Marx (Groucho or Karl - makes no difference)
* President Zero shortened to P∅ or PZero
* President Meltdown
* The Joke
* The Fraud
* O'Bummer
* Leader Of The Cult - shortened to O'Cult for his followers
* ObamAss
Of course Michelle will need one as well and I think it is obvious based on her inauguration dress what that should be:
* The Black Widow
{This guy would be scarier if he knew how to construct a decent pun}Sour grapes from The Volokh Conspiracy's open thread:
* "I like how the ABC and NBC are calling states with 0 precincts reporting. It's almost like they're trying to get people in the rest of the country can stay home. Did I say people? I meant Republicans."
* "Also I think news network calls of Pennsylvania for Obama are premature."
* "I predict if Obama loses the popular vote but wins the electoral vote, a whole lot of Democrats will suddenly see great value in the Electoral College system."
* "Could someone hand me a burka?"
* "I now proclaim that you are, officially, behaving like a dick."
* "CNN calls Obama states but not McCain states."
* "The vote from New Mexico repudiates the McCain/Republican strategy for capturing the Hispanic vote. Even though McCain went all out for amnesty, he got soundly rejected by the Hispanics. The Republicans will never outbid the Democrats in offering goodies to the illegal aliens and the underclass."
* "Heh. All the libs who crowed that "Dissent is patriotic" are now rabidly proclaiming that people have to support their Messiah.
This election puts Colbert, John Stewart, and other comedians out of business. They can't make a joke about THE ONE because they'll be considered RAAAAAACIST."
* "So now we've elected a socialist that happens to be black. You can't come much farther from the Constitution and the Founding Fathers. Wasn't it Franklin that said "You have a Republic, if you can keep it"? Well obviously over half the electorate isn't interested in keeping it any more—they believe the government exists to take care of them, not to stay out of their way while they pursue happiness and success."
* "Bill Ayers for Homeland Security."
The Volokh Conspiracy's Jim Lindgren:
It is ironic that in 2008 we probably have two of the most honest and decent men running for president that we have had in a long time, and yet this has easily been the most corrupt election in my lifetime.
First, we have never had so many illegal campaign contributions, including illegal foreign contributions, as we had this year.
Second, (in my lifetime at least) we have never had so much systematic election fraud; that the tens — or more likely hundreds — of thousands of illegal voter registrations have not been a major campaign issue is appalling – and it’s worrisome for our democracy...
Five days after the election, as the numbness started to wear off, the
Terrestrial Musings blogger noted the anniversary of Kristalnacht with the predictable fascist allusions, all but blames Nazi aggression on FDR's tepid response to the night of atrocities, then warns us:
If President Obama continues to show signs of coddling Ahmajinedad and the Iranian mullahs, he will be sending a similar signal. If this history ever repeats itself, it won't be farce--it will be tragedy anew, because we inexcusably forgot it.
{That's the spirit, guys! Liberals are fascists AND softies. We're fascio-softies}In reviewing all these righty blogs, I noticed a conservative obsession with diversions: the ACORN story, Obama's Kenyan aunt slipping past INS in Boston, the Ayers non-support, and endless references to communism, socialism, and fascism. They seem to confuse reality with their gotcha distortions about Obama (like when he used the phrase "Share the wealth" to describe opportunities in a free enterprise economy) and outright lies (insisting that when he promised a tax cut, he really meant tax hike). There's an almost categorical refusal to look at the big picture.
These people will be interesting to watch over the next four years. Some people say that they've just got to get their act together, settle on a coordinated message, in order to come back and truly challenge the majority Democrats. But honestly, I don't this is merely a matter of marketing slogans. I don't think the Republicans can really come back until they can at least give the impresion to more voters that they're dealing with reality rather than bumperstickers.
But then, I'm not all that interested in seeing them get their act together just yet. The grown ups have a lot of work to do.