Dennis Prager to all women: If you're not in the mood, too bad

[meegbear]

As Paul Krugman pointed out, if you're a right winger --no matter what crazy, f*&ked up thought you utter, it's A-OK.

Case in point is wingnut extraordinare Dennis Prager. Here's a sample:

The subject is one of the most common problems that besets marriages: the wife who is not in the mood and the consequently frustrated and hurt husband.

It gets more preposterous from there. In right-wing culture, it's always the ladies that are at fault.

This is a major reason many husbands clam up. A man whose wife frequently denies him sex will first be hurt, then sad, then angry, then quiet. And most men will never tell their wives why they have become quiet and distant. They are afraid to tell their wives. They are often made to feel ashamed of their male sexual nature, and they are humiliated (indeed emasculated) by feeling that they are reduced to having to beg for sex.

I think James Dobson has it wrong. It's right-wing freaks like Prager who want to destroy the institution of marriage. Yet this nut is a frequent guest on CNN. Why does he get the megaphone that he does?

But, to repeat the key point, rejection of sex should happen infrequently. And it should almost never be dependent on mood -- see Part II next week.

5. I know this and that's why I rarely say no to my husband.

This is a wise woman. She knows a sexually fulfilled husband is a happy husband. (At the same time, men need to recognize that complete sexual fulfillment is unattainable in this world.) And because a happy husband loves his wife more, this cycle of love produces a happy home.

Nice wife, good wife, fulfill me when I want so I am happy. WTF does any of this drivel mean? He makes Dr. Phil almost bearable.

Pandagon lets loose.

http://crooksandliars.com/john-amato/dennis-prager-all-women-if-youre-not-mo

[n2doc]

1. Somehow I think "not being in the mood" is more common

When one is married to a RW fundie idiot.....

[NashVegas]

43. Always Fun to Read Craig's List In the South

Always several married men looking when their marriage "loses romance."

[Kalyke]

89. You mean when the pork rinds and beer have gone to his stomach

and when, after listening to rightwinger fundie types on the radio all day, he becomes boorish and thinks it's OK to treat her like a second class citizen?

[Tuvok Obama]

46. I have not laughed much recently

Thank you

[Maraya1969]

75. But it doesn't matter much to some because a woman is

supposed to be subservient to her husband. I know one woman who was being beat by her husband but she still would not leave because she believed the church told her to stay. She probably gave him sex every time even if wasn't "in the mood".

How could anyone be "in the wood" with a person that abuses you.

[Quantess]

85. "in the wood"

She's not in the mood, and he's "not in the wood"
:rofl:

[Maraya1969]

103. I've not been in the wood for a long time now.

[Catherine Vincent]

2. Well apparently his wife turns him down a lot.

He's not doing it right. :)

[PassingFair]

3. His EX

..wives

[Vickers]

62. Wow, I thought you were kidding, so I looked it up.

TWO ex-wives.

:crazy:

Amazing how many of these "save marriage!" jackasses couldn't save their OWN...

:eyes:

[Ellen Forradalom]

71. I got me some exes too

That's why I don't hop up in other peoples' faces about their relationships. I know I'm not competent to advise.

I wish some of these RW folks would get that clue.

[Liberal_in_LA]

79. It's ok to have exes.. just don't go on the radio talking rightwing marrage crap

[Liberal_in_LA]

80. More Dennis Prager wisdom: if you haven't been married by age 30 there is something mentally wrong

and you need therapy.

YEP... he actually spews crap like that. It's Dennis Prager's way or no way. He's like Dr. Laura. Whatever is going on in his life is the right way to live.

[Liberal_in_LA]

77. AND he used his radio program to convince women to understand their man's desire for porno. NONSTOP

Dennis Prager discussed pornography so much that you just knew he was a porn addict. I think he even gave classes to women under the high minded ruse to get women to understand male sexuality. But the premise seemed to be, IMHO, to get women to accept their husbands pile of porn magazines. Oh... if Prager's ex-wives would only write a book.

[Quantess]

8. He's probably lousy, and/or boring in bed.

Fundies are so uptight about sex, they probably don't even know there is more than one position.

[graywarrior]

4. All these guys think about is sex

Either someone is not doing her duty and putting out or they're all in a twit about gay sex. They relate everything to sex.

[Hekate]

109. Abortion's about sex, too:female sex; bad, dirty, unsanctioned female sex.Fundy castration complexes

Sigmund Freud no doubt could have written a shelf of books on fundies and their sexual fixations.

Hekate

[Gormy Cuss]

5. Oh my.

Jesse @ Pandagon needs to be on a panel discussion with Dennis.

:rofl:

[saracat]

6. And this is what Rick Warren spouts as well. I am so pleased. Women don't count.

Apparently we are just receptacles for the convenience of the gender that matters.And yet few are even protesting this fact about the good :sarcasm: Reverend and many others of his ilk.

[Ellen Forradalom]

73. Exactly

Where there's homophobia, there's misogyny too. And one is as much of an outrage as the other.

[Political Tiger]

7. What if the man is not in the mood? n/t

[emilyg]

10. Never met one

the men i met are everready batteries.

[awoke_in_2003]

13. Impossible...

a televised Steelers game may give me a moment of pause, but not much of one :)

[Maine-ah]

90. hehehe

It's why the Patriots lost...hubbie said if he hadn't taken his shirt off....:P


I didn't want to watch the game though.


He's had his moments of "no". During the summer he works 60-70 hours a week and he really is too tired sometimes.

[awoke_in_2003]

91. I went through a period of 70 hours work weeks..

but when I was doing it, so was my wife with two jobs. Hell, we never saw each other enough to get the chance to say no, but I understand what you are saying.

[dem629]

14. Nonsense! All men are PIGS and LIARS! Don't you read DU regularly?

[Name removed]

32. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Name removed]

15. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[mzmolly]

19. I'm guessing if that's the case, it's because his wife is a bitch?

:sarcasm:

[anigbrowl]

27. "I've got a headache" works just as well for guys

I've used it on occasion to great effect.

[Name removed]

28. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ellen Forradalom]

64. It happens. Oh yes it does.

It's not just the fellows who have been reduced to begging.

[Political Tiger]

74. My point was how sexist Prager's remarks were

You know, how the woman is expected to please the man, not the other way around.

So what's up with all the attacks? What's wrong with people?

Seems some malcontents are just looking for a reason to attack, or don't even need a reason, they just attack for the hell of it.

[Kitty Herder]

105. Then the woman ends up frustrated. (It's happened to me more than once.)

But I've never blamed the man for it. Or insisted that he perform anyway, like this asshole is insisting that women do. It's just part of life. Sometimes couples aren't in the same mood at the same time. So what?

[Hekate]

110. My ex-husband. Oy. nt

[Pastiche423]

120. I married one of those

He waited until after marriage to tell me that sex is only to procreate.

We din't stay married long.

[Romulox]

9. What if I'm "not in the mood" to go to work? Or shovel snow?

:shrug:

[gaspee]

12. You're unbelievable

you're equating defacto rape with shoveling snow and or going to work?

I'd thought I'd seen it all here at DU - oh how wrong I was...

[Romulox]

16. No, I'm not.

"defacto rape"

There's no such thing as "defacto rape", in the first instance. Sexual activity that is not accompanied by consent is rape in law, and in fact. :hi: Sexual activity that is consented to is not "defacto rape", provided the partners are competent.

[dem629]

17. "De facto rape"? Good grief, get hold of yourself.

[gaspee]

49. Have fun here at DU

So, what do you call insisting someone who doesn't want to have sex, has sex. Against their will. Because someone else wants them to.

Or of you the idea that there is no such idea as marital rape?

I'm waiting...

[dem629]

51. You just described rape.

And, as was explained to you earlier, there is rape or there isn't. There is no "de facto rape," at least in the law -- maybe in some wacko text about male/female relationships, but that'd be bullshit. In fact, what you're doing is actually harming women who are ACTUALLY RAPED.

[iverglas]

54. get over it

"De facto rape" is a concept left over from when forced sexual intercourse by a man with his wife was not de jure rape -- i.e. WAS NOT ILLEGAL.

Got any idea how long ago that was?

You might want to look it up. It was legal in the US for a man to force his wife to have sexual intercourse with him for a very long time after it became illegal for people to own other people. A very long time.


typo fixed

[dem629]

55. Sounds like you're the one who needs to get over it.

Might want to check your facts. Of course you chimed in without any supporting evidence whatsoever, other than telling me to look it up. Figures.

[iverglas]

59. bzzt

Try again. I decided to help you out.

It's always wise to check your own facts before bleating, of course.

[iverglas]

57. a clue for anyone who needs it

"Marital rape" was not a crime universally in the US until I was over 40.

http://www.wcsap.org/MaritalRapeRevised.pdf

I'm in Canada. The spousal exemption from the criminal prohibition of rape was removed a decade earlier here (criminal law being federal).

As late as the 1990s, it was not a crime for a man to rape his wife in at least some parts of the United States.

In case anyone wonders why a need might have been felt for the term "de facto rape".


and another typo fixed

[mzmolly]

18. Are you kidding me?

:eyes:

[Romulox]

20. Not really. I think it's a valid question. nt

[mzmolly]

26. How

sad.

[Romulox]

29. It's sad to ask a question? Were you born understanding the dynamics

of male/female interpersonal relationships such that you have no need of ever asking a question?

Must be nice! :silly:

[dem629]

31. You are not going to get an answer.

You'll get called a name before you see anything resembling a substantive response.

[Romulox]

34. I know. nt

[mzmolly]

40. You

may be interested in post # 45?

[dem629]

42. Ehhh, not really. Looks like empty rhetoric to me.

[mzmolly]

58. I'm sure it

does.

[whathehell]

83. Awwww.......Anyone up for a Pity Party?

[mzmolly]

38. It's sad

that you equate romantic interest to a "responsibility" on the part of people who have different anatomy than you do. It's sad that such ridiculous, sexist questions are asked here by men who haven't a clue as to how their attitudes about women, contribute to their ongoing sexual frustration.

[Romulox]

53. I don't see the night and day distinction between those two things that you posit

Rather than condemn me for my "backward" thinking, why not attempt to explain it to me?

"It's sad that such ridiculous, sexist questions are asked here by men who haven't a clue as to how their attitudes about women, contribute to their ongoing sexual frustration."

I'm about to celebrate 10 years of marriage, so I think I may have some insight into the give and take of marriage that you may lack. Maybe not. But either way, I'm not condemning you for your opinions (or simple questions) the way you are condemning me.

So if you have the boundaries of "marital duties" so clearly mapped out, why not educate us?

[mzmolly]

60. I don't

subscribe to the notion of "marital duties." As for your supposed, superior insight, I've been with the same partner for more than 20 years.

I'm not going to explain anything to you. You're responsible for enlightening yourself on matters of equality, romance and human dignity.

[iverglas]

44. uh ... then don't.

Duh.

[gollygee]

48. So you think sex is a wife's *job*?

It isn't an expression of love for you? I like the way it works in my house better. :shrug:

[varelse]

52. So...sex is just a chore for you, too?

I thought it was just us womenfolk who felt that way about it. :sarcasm:

[mrreowwr_kittty]

63. Obviously your spouse should coerce you into it. nt

[Book Lover]

93. Are you really comparing not wanting to go to work to being forced to have sex against your will?

Please tell me you are engaging in hyperbole to make your point. Which would be what exactly?

[treestar]

113. Women work and shovel snow, too

[BOSSHOG]

11. Guess who rush limbaugh does not blame for his three failed marriages

[baldguy]

24. His teeny tiny penis

[mzmolly]

25. And his teeny tiny

brain. ;)

[Nikki Stone1]

21. Can anyone imagine WANTING to have sex with Dennis Prager?

I think that may be the problem....:)

[dem629]

22. THAT is the real problem. It's jealousy, sort of like the women

who refer to other women who do not weight more than 200 pounds as "anorexic."

Pure jealousy and envy.

[Nikki Stone1]

30. So who do you think Prager is most jealous of?

:)

[dem629]

33. Men who get sex from attractive women.

He's obviously fixated on sex, and it's not likely he wants it with ugly women, so there you go.

[Nikki Stone1]

35. Prager is from LA, so I wondered which star he might be most jealous of.

My guess, Charlie Sheen.

[dem629]

36. That's a good guess, LOL.

[Quantess]

37. I'm confused. Who is/are the jealous one(s) in this case?

[Name removed]

45. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[dem629]

47. You're a frustrated name-caller. Dial down the hysteria, please.

[BlooInBloo]

41. I can...

not come even remotely close to imagining so-wanting.

[mzmolly]

23. Clue for the dejected Mr. Prager

http://www.livescience.com/health/071017-feminism-romance.html

Among the findings:

* College-age women who reported having feminist male partners also reported higher quality relationships that were more stable than couples involving non-feminist male partners.
* College guys who were themselves feminists and had feminist partners reported more equality in their relationships.
* Older women who perceived their male partners as feminists reported greater relationship health and sexual satisfaction.
* Older men with feminist partners said they had more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction.

Overall, feminism and romance do go hand in hand, the scientists say.

[BlooInBloo]

39. The only think I know is that this is Obama's fault *somehow*.

[valerief]

50. Or the husband on the down low, which is WAY more common, I suspect.

Of course, gay marriage would fix that, but America isn't exactly a civilized nation.

[immoderate]

56. Dennis Prager? DENNIS FUCKING PRAGER???!!!

:rofl:

--IMM

[Liberal_in_LA]

78. Exactly. The racist, homophobic, mysogynist Prager. He promotes a patriarchal society

Just google some his article about women.

[immoderate]

114. I'd rather not. I just ate.

I know well who he is. <<<shudder>>>

--IMM

[hfojvt]

61. having read both, I am not sure how what Prager said was worse

than what Pandagon said. Prager may be wrong, even egregiously so, but the responses to him seem to be a combination of strawman and ad hominem arguments.

[ProfessorGAC]

65. What I Find Unbelievable. . .

. . .is the way this thread degenerated into name calling over a tool like Dennis Prager.
GAC

[TahitiNut]

107. Indeed, my friend.

Happy holidays to you and yours, sir. :pals:

[ProfessorGAC]

117. Same to You, Nut

GAC

[Ellen Forradalom]

66. Why is Dennis Prager giving marriage advice?

And why would anyone in his or her right mind give a fig what he thinks?

[Chovexani]

67. I hate when misogynists try to make this a male/female issue

When it's really an issue of sexual compatibility, which is something that could be sussed out within like, a week or two in the beginning of the relationship. Oh wait, that's right, we're also not supposed to have sex until the wedding night. No ding ding without the wedding ring.

Fundies are hell bent on trapping people in marriages that make them miserable, I'm convinced of it. When you make sex this dirty evil thing that is an obligation instead of something that is fun and enjoyable for all parties involved, this is the end result. Fundie men also tend to be terrible in bed for this reason, because they treat sex like a fill up at the local Circle K. The women are just there to facilitate, and once dude gets his nut off he rolls over and goes to sleep and she's left sad and unfulfilled. This is not even remotely limited to fundie men, but in my experience it's nearly universal among them, and is why you get so many middle aged married women writing sad letters to sex advice columnists asking what the Big O is because they've never had one.

But anyway, this "problem" is bullshit. It entirely makes it out the woman's fault, because misogynists of all stripes can't bring themselves to believe that women are fully realized sexual beings with desires of their own. No it's all about wifely duty to service the man because it's all about the Mighty Peenz0r and our obligation as women to make ourselves available to it at all times.

And, just to get TMI for a minute, my current male partner and I both have ragingly high sex drives. I've had male partners in the past that didn't have a fraction of mine, and it made things very difficult. But I never blamed them for it; people are different, and no one is entitled to sex from their partner 24/7. FWIW, the only person I've ever dated with a higher drive than me was female (lesbian bed death, my ass).

This is about misogyny and entitlement, really.

[Ellen Forradalom]

69. Hear, hear

I have been dreadfully mismatched sexually with people I am very fond of. The father of my son is a lovely man and a great dad but really we ought not to have married.

I am currently well-matched with someone whom I adore. I learned my lesson--sexual compatibility is not the whole, but it is a goodly part of, a solid foundation.

[Cassius23]

97. Holy crap...(seriously)

I think you just summed up what it was about this whole debate(the whole entitlement/sex/feminism debate) that has always really, really bothered me(which is even more impressive because I hadn't been able to figure it out myself).

The problem is sexual compatability. Ta da. Simple as that.

Thank you.

Also, in regards to the trapping people in bad marriages, I would say it is more of very likely side effect, thank Paul and Augustine. More Augustine than anything. If you want to read lots of ancient "I hate women" ranting, Augustine's Confessions.

[Kitty Herder]

104. Excellent reply. nt

[Missy Vixen]

68. Hey, Prager, sometimes the shoe's on the other foot

Then again, I'm sure his wife ceased enjoying whatever he had to offer a long time ago.

Julie

[robertpaulsen]

70. Wow. I am astounded. Clearly Dennis Prager has a dizzying intellect.

Here's another nugget of wisdom:

"Every man who is sexually faithful to his wife already engages in daily heroic self-control."

:wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow:

How about that? Because I don't fuck around on my wife, I'm a hero. Specifically, according to the almighty wisdom of Dennis Prager, I'm a hero every single day I exercise the self-control I must summon up not to stick my penis in whatever random woman I might happen to find attractive on any given day.

Do I even need to add a sarcasm smilie?

[Ellen Forradalom]

72. Certainly far more revealing than he intended it to be

That statement applies to the speaker only. Your mileage may vary.

[robertpaulsen]

76. Now we know what ability Dennis Prager would have if he was on the TV show Heroes.

Perhaps in the future he'll have a guest starring role.

[Mari333]

81. for the love of god

have sex with this poor man.

[robertpaulsen]

84. I'm wondering which of his orifices would be the best place for his crucifix.

Sorry, I absolutely HAD to go there. :evilgrin:

[Liberal_in_LA]

82. That's Dennis Prager think. He's horrific to listen to.

[PassingFair]

86. That one got me, too...

:rofl:

Like women are THROWING themselves at him.

:rofl:

[robertpaulsen]

92. Yes! Every single day!

And every daily rejection he performs is an exercise in heroism. Please, somebody, GIVE THIS MAN A MEDAL!

:applause:

[PassingFair]

95. They ALL deserve medals!

I don't know how they find the extra
time to shovel snow and play computer
games, without falling into the more
than willing women laying around!!

[northernlights]

98. you left out the random...

boys in airport bathrooms
girls
sheep
cows
horses
dogs
towels
donuts
whatever else has or can be molded into an orifice for use by a fw fundie hero.

[robertpaulsen]

99. SHHH...you're giving Dennis ideas!

Or maybe what you listed isn't subject to the heroic self-control that dear Mr. Prager exercises toward women he isn't married to.

[Kalyke]

87. Women to Prager: Drop Dead you Creep!

[MadMaddie]

88. They so want to go back to the 50's don't they?

[Kalyke]

94. Hell, the 50s were like that only on TV!

[lumberjack_jeff]

96. Intimacy is important.

He clearly expressed this view in a really stupid way, but it is important to set aside time for your partner.

Guys, if you want physical intimacy, you have to give emotional intimacy. I've never known anyone who would disagree with this.

However, it's funny how often I find people who disagree with the reverse.

[Swamp Rat]

100. The Amerikan Taliban strikes again!

The Enemy Within

[ismnotwasm]

101. "Male sexual nature"?

Exactly what is male sexual nature in the RW world? Do I really want to know?


Dude makes male sexual nature sound kinda painful, if you know what I mean.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

111. Rape, I guess.

:scared:

[sakabatou]

102. Dennis Prager is he...

condoning forced sex here?

[Kitty Herder]

106. Isn't that like, oh, I don't know, rape?

Rape my mind-fucking women into believing they have no right to say no to their partner?

[TheKentuckian]

108. Prager is an edumacated MORAN

and a world class fuckbag. Sadly, there is an element on the right so batshit that even guys like Prager look "reasonable".

[treestar]

112. Control, not sex

If the guy doesn't want it and the woman does, that's OK somehow? :rofl:

It's control he wants. It's the idea that his wife has to do whatever he wants when he wants it, otherwise he is not "satisfied."

Yet if he could not satisfy his wife, that would not be an issue.

Sexism at its finest! :rofl:

I bet he also thinks men should get to marry the women they want, and women should have no choice to turn him down. Most such men are very offended at the concept of women who don't find them attractive. Yet they do zilch to make themselves attractive to women.

[LWolf]

115. Is that supposed to go both ways?

Is the wife supposed to be able to get sex on demand, too?

[gollygee]

118. No, it doesn't go both ways

He says in the article that the two issues are completely different, and if a man is denying his wife sex, it's for totally different reasons (I wonder what reasons because he doesn't say, but based on the article I'll assume the reasons are the wife's fault) and therefore it doesn't work both ways.

[LWolf]

119. Isn't that special.

What, exactly, does that make women?

Livestock?

[ldf]

116. please pardon my language

but these guys think they have the right to "pussy on demand".

the whole subservient, submissive, wife must obey her husband crap (from the holy bibble, no less) is a setup for the above "relationship".

:grr: