Extraordinary rendition – A legitimate tactic in the War on Christmas?

[El Fuego]

The U.S. Constitution is a quaint document which as served its purpose well, but in this new dangerous new era – an unprecedented time where sugarplum fairies and nativity scenes threaten our very existence - a more pragmatic approach is in order.

Case in point:

At this moment, Santa and his terrorist elves have ensconced themselves at Macy’s, where remarkably, they enjoy the same constitution freedoms and protections as you or I.

The plan? A midnight commando raid into Macy’s to capture Santa et al. -- and then to covertly transport them to Gimbels. Why? Because the effete latte-drinking pinot-sipping policies they have at Macy’s are meaningless at Gimbels.

Gimbels doesn’t have any whiny pussy liberal hangups about torture.

The Fat Dude will talk.

[Idealism]

1. Usually the CIA would go after the mid-level elves first

Leave the Fat Man for later.

[El Fuego]

2. And he knows when we're sleeping and when we're awake.

This weaponized clairvoyance creates major challenges for intelligence ops.

[baldguy]

3. I can do an extraordinary rendition of "Good King Wenceslas" - some people call it torture

but the UN hasn't ruled on it yet.