"'Twas the Night Before Bailout"--a Christmas gift poem for DU

[Peace Patriot]

T'was The Night Before Bailout

T'was the night before Bailout, when all through the land
the rich men like beggars had stuck out their hands.
The poor had been robbed of their medical care
in hopes that the poor would soon not be there--
and their jobs and their homes, and their savings, too,
and their pensions--whatever they had to make do--
the rich men plundered all, they couldn't have been badder,
and then sprang from their corporate jets to finish the matter.

Away to our leaders they flew like a flash
Tore into the White House and demanded more cash.
At the end of the hideous Bushwhack regime
Not a penny was left for the rich men to glean,
when, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
but Saint Bushwhack himself with his infamous leer,
that little 'ol cowpoke, so ugly and slick,
they knew in a moment he'd be their St. Nick.

Now, Nancy! now, Henry! Now, Joe and Barack!
On, Johnnie! on Sarah! on, Jabber 'n' Wock!
To the Federal Reserve and onto Fort Knox!
It's a Crisis! It's a crisis! Gotta hold us some talks!"

As wild sharks in a frenzy to crisis do rush
when they meet with a president with brains like mush
So up to the White House the fascists they flew
With a sleigh full of looting proposals to do.

And then, in a twinkling, the roof did cave in
on the destitute bankers, those poor little men.
As they put out their hands and opened their pockets
showers of gold rained down on them like rockets.

He was dressed in gold spangles, with gold spurs on his boots
He looked kind of like Elvis, in one of those sequined cowboy suits,
The golden lasso he had flung overhead
had roped him a calf that made of gold from the Fed.

His eyes--how they glittered! his nose like a cherry!
The truth of it is that he looked like a fairy!
His droll little mouth was poked out like a chimp's
And his effort to swagger resembled a pimp's.

The pipe that he smoked had a strange silver shine
And the snow that shook off it weren't the real snowy kind.
He had a small mean face and he clanked when he walked
from the ghosts who were trailing him from the land of Iraq.

He was angry yet glitzy-- a sort of rightwing mirage--
And they cringed at the vehicle he drove out of the garage.
The twitch in his eye and the twist of his head
soon gave them to know that St. Bush wuddint dead.

He babbled and jibbered, and went straight to his work
and filled the gold stockings of all of these jerks.
and laying a finger aside of his nose
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
And away it all flew like a Patriot missile--
Generations of solvency, gone in a whistle.
But they heard him exclaim, as he drove the gold caddy
"Heh-heh-heh, Amurka! Who's your Daddy?"


Peace Patriot 12/24/08
(Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

:patriot:

[Judi Lynn]

1. Stupendous! Far more realistic than the original, too! This is one to keep.

You have never failed to astonish people acquanted with your DU name. Absolutely love this poem. It's a perfect send-off (if he will do us the favor of leaving) for St. Bushwhack.

http://www.newsfollowup.com.nyud.net:8090/id/images_14/bush_cowboy_gay_2.jpg

http://www.webweaver.nu.nyud.net:8090/clipart/img/holidays/christmas/bell-ani.gif
Thank you, Peace Patriot. Happy holidays.

[DemReadingDU]

5. wrong place

[Peace Patriot]

2. Typo in the line, "...had roped him a calf that made of gold from the Fed."

Take out the word "that."

The line should read:
"...had roped him a calf made of gold from the Fed."

Just caught it. Too late to edit.

[DemReadingDU]

6. Thank you, Merry Christmas!

[malaise]

3. Love it

Happy Holidays :D

[Hissyspit]

4. Might not need to apologized to Moore:

From wikipedia:

Clement C. Moore's connection with the verses has been questioned by Professor Donald Foster. Foster used external and internal evidence to argue that Moore could not have been the author of this poem.<3> Major Henry Livingston, Jr., a New Yorker with Dutch and Scottish roots, is considered the chief candidate for authorship if Moore did not write it. Livingston was distantly related to Moore's wife.<3>

On behalf of Moore, the following facts are cited. "Professor Moore" is credited as author in the December 25, 1837 Pennsylvania Inquirer and Daily Courier. Moore himself claimed authorship of the poem in 1844. This was at the request of his children. He had preferred to be known for more scholarly works. The Rev. David Butler, who allegedly showed the poem to Sentinel editor Orville L. Holley, was a relative of Moore's. A letter to Moore from the publisher states "I understand from Mr. Holley that he received it from Mrs. Sackett, the wife of Mr. Daniel Sackett who was then a merchant in this city".

Against Moore, the following charges are alleged. Moore "tried at first to disavow" the poem.<4> Moore claimed that only two changes were introduced in the first printing, yet it differs from his own on 23 points. It is also claimed that Moore falsely claimed to have translated a book. <5> Ted Mann has challenged this claim as a misinterpretation of a book dedication (see above).<6> According to Mann, Moore signed a book as a gift, as one dedicates a book they give to another person. He did not claim authorship. Document historian Seth Kallar has answered this charge and other related arguments.<6>

The following points have been advanced in order to credit the poem to Major Henry Livingston, Jr. Livingston also wrote poetry using an anapaestic metrical scheme. It is also claimed that some of the phraseology of A Visit is consistent with other poems by Livingston, and that Livingston's poetry is more optimistic than Moore's poetry published in his own name (but Nissenbaum argues that it could have been a social satire of the Victorianization of Christmas.). Livingston's mother was Dutch, which accounts for the references to the Dutch Sinteklaes tradition and the use of the Dutch names "Dunder and Blixem". Against the latter claim, it is suggested that Moore, a friend of writer Washington Irving and member of the same literary society, may have acquired some of his knowledge of New York Dutch traditions from Irving. Irving had written A History of New York under the name of "Dietrich Knickerbocker"; it includes several references to legends of St. Nicholas, including the following which bears a close relationship to the poem:

[TWiley]

7. Santa SHITS down a chimney while reading the Wall Street Journal

Trickle down economics ...... the graphic version.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

8. That is AWESOME Peace Patriot :)

And it's also my first Christmas present.

Thank you and Merry Christmas :hug: :loveya:

[Judi Lynn]

9. K & R.

http://reigninggifts.com.nyud.net:8090/images/reindeer5.gif http://reigninggifts.com.nyud.net:8090/images/reindeer5.gif http://reigninggifts.com.nyud.net:8090/images/reindeer5.gif