5-Year-Old Kindergartner Finds Oxycontin Stash in Her Pants

[underpants]

SURGOINSVILLE, Tenn. — Authorities in northeast Tennessee have arrested a man they say stashed painkillers in his 5-year-old niece's pants pocket.

Hawkins County Sheriff's investigators arrested 28-year-old Dickie Lynn Keirsey, who police said lives with the child's family.

The Kingsport Times reported Surgoinsville Elementary School principal Susan Trent said the kindergartner felt inside her pants pocket Friday morning and found a bag with 23 Oxycontin pills. As she walked into her classroom, she handed them to her teacher.

Investigators said Keirsey said in a written statement he hid the pills when the pants hung on a clothes rack Thursday.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,486569,00.html

[Orrex]

1. I'm sure she'll never take any flak for her name

[Hello_Kitty]

2. This is horrible to say, but

What are the odds that a child named Dickie Lynn is not going to have at least one relative who is hooked on Hillbilly Heroin.

[DesertRat]

6. Sad, but I agree

:(

[notadmblnd]

16. Dickie Lynn is the person's name who was arrested, not the child's name

still.. what you said goes.

[Ezlivin]

3. Why take flak when she can take oxycontin?

No one takes flak any more.

[Berry Cool]

4. If it was a 5-year-old Dominican boy they found with the Oxy stashed in his pants

...well then, the joke would write itself.

[rucky]

5. Dickie Lynn?

not a hillbilly, I'm sure.

[U4ikLefty]

19. Okay, this is off-the-point, but I LOVE your Rick Astley sig n/t

[slackmaster]

7. At least they didn't find crack hidden in her underwear

:hide:

[RTFirefly]

8. A kindergartner with Oxycontin in her pants?

There's a Limbaugh joke here somewhere, I'm sure of it.

[Ezlivin]

9. Was Rush Limbaugh babysitting her?

N/T

[TheCowsCameHome]

12. That's pretty stupid.

Wrong gender. Rush prefers little boys.

:hi:

[YOY]

18. Would it really matter in the long run?

He's still a pedophilic junkie.

[damntexdem]

10. What was Rush doing in that kid's pants?

[TheCowsCameHome]

14. Waiting for her little brother to come home.

[laylah]

11. FFS...

they arrested the uncle named Dickie Lynn :think:

[ColbertWatcher]

13. LIAR! Limpballs doesn't like underage GIRLS! n/t

[11 Bravo]

15. I didn't know Limbaugh had a daughter.

[Bluebear]

17. Dickie Lynn? Oh my. nt

[geniph]

20. Dumbass is lucky the kid didn't eat some of 'em

He'd be in jail awaiting trial for manslaughter at the least.