Bush promises to write political memoirs in 'authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened'

[BurtWorm]

Still dim after all these months.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/17/bush-abstains-from-critic_n_176032.html

...

Bush said that he doesn't know what he will do in the long term but that he will write a book that will ask people to consider what they would do if they had to protect the United States as president.

He said it will be fun to write and that "it's going to be (about) the 12 toughest decisions I had to make."

"I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened," Bush said.

"I want people to understand what it was like to sit in the Oval Office and have them come in and say we have captured Khalid Sheik Mohammed, the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks, the alleged killer of a guy named Danny Pearl because he was simply Jewish, and we think we have information on further attacks on the United States," Bush said.

...

[LakeSamish706]

1. I wish Bush would write the book "What really happend on 911" and do it truthfully. n/t

[yurbud]

6. ''I was trying to read a book then I had ta ride around in the big plane all day. Uncle Dick was

taking care of something important that day, but he didn't tell me what.''

[theoldman]

2. Too bad that he was wrong on all 12 decisions.

[DainBramaged]

3. It promises to be revealing, yet short.....

[BurtWorm]

4. Dont tutch the but

:patriot:

[AndyA]

5. *'s 12 toughest decisions:

1. Mac and cheese or corn dogs?

2. Camp David or Crawford this weekend?

3. Laura or Condi tonight?

4. Gray suit or blue suit today?

5. Which bud is next on the list for a favor?

6. Can I break the record for most non-business miles traveled in a month for Air Force One this month, or next month?

7. Should I work next month or take it off?

8. Is today's topic them gays, them Mexicans, or that Plame chick?

9. That Angela babe in Germany wants me. I just know it. Do I show her I'm interested in some way? How about a nice gift? Nah, we do that anyway. How about a wink? Nah, I do that all the time. I know...I could give her a massage...yeah...that's it...will she like that?

10. Do I clear brush for my photo op today, or do I drag the whole gang down to Crawford for a meetin' and photo op?

11. Mashed taters and gravy or a loaded baked tater tonight?

12. Am I as wonderful as I think I am, or even better?

Honorable mentions:

Bud or Miller?

Bourbon or gin?

Weed or coke?

[Echo In Light]

7. "Authoritarian" is indeed the correct term for it

[ogneopasno]

8. Well, Dr. Seuss did that, too.

[Fearless]

9. See George... See George run... Run Georgie run!

Or maybe it'll be a Where's Waldo.

[Mr. Ected]

10. Bush Was Against "Revisionist History"...

...until he authored it.

[pipi_k]

11. Nobody ever ASKED him to "protect the United States"

The Presidential Oath of Office requires that he swear....


I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.



He was supposed to protect the goddamned Constitution, and he nearly destroyed it.


The little asswipe just doesn't get it, does he?

:grr:

[L. Coyote]

18. There's an idea. Send him a roll of paper to write on.

You know which kind I'm alluding to :rofl: Charmin idea, no? :rofl:

GW Bush,
General delivery
Crawford, TX

[appleannie1]

12. Just what we need. An upside down book that starts in the middle and ends on page one.

[Javaman]

13. Let's get something straight, moron* isn't going to be doing the actual writing.

he will have some flunky ghost writer (tom clancy), do the work and him to give his big dick a-okay.

he* will be to busy watching the ball game.

[justgamma]

14. It'll be all of one page.

"I don't know. Ask Dick" The end.

[Liberal In Texas]

15. "Hey Laura, what color is best for aw-throw-tarinism?"

"Try the red crayon, George."

[L. Coyote]

16. Just like Bernal Diaz del Castillo?

Something like: "These were the first vassals to render submission to America in New Iraq."

"...we doctored the horses by searing their wounds with the fat from the body of a dead Indian which we cut up to get out the fat, and we went to look at the dead lying on the plain and there were more than eight hundred of them, the greater number killed by thrusts, the others by the cannon, muskets and crossbows, and many were stretched on the ground half dead....The battle lasted over an hour....we seared the wounds of the others and of the horses with the fat of the Indian, and after posting sentinels and guards, we had supper and rested."

"These were the first vassals to render submission to His Majesty in New Spain."

Bernal Diaz del Castillo
True History of the Conquest of New Spain

A MUST READ!

[Beetwasher]

17. Well, That Oughta Go Over Well. He Should Print The Book In All CAPS

So we get the message that he is in fact yelling his POV at us.

[Canuckistanian]

19. With Cheney watching over his shoulder.

And occasionally saying "Uh uh uhhh" and smacking Bush in the head.

[BlooInBloo]

20. (snarfle)

[hunter]

21. Bush may have glanced over the contract the ghost writer signed.

This work of fiction will be written in an "authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened."

Dick Cheney will guide the overall direction of the work, and the purpose of any interviews with Bush himself will be strictly for the purpose of studying Bush's verbal mannerisms. The content of those interviews (if any) will be held in the strictest confidence else very bad things happen to the author...

[Rob H.]

22. I'm guessing he meant "authoritative"

but once again a Freudian slip reveals his true thoughts. Nice to see the news media outlets aren't cleaning up his verbal gaffes the way they did while he was in office, too.

[librechik]

23. he probably meant "authoritative." Ah, Freud. You are so useful and revealing.

:rofl:

[JitterbugPerfume]

24. all of the whitewash in the world

will not disguise his black heart

[Chorophyll]

25. Title suggestion:

"Bein' Prezident iz Hard!