Help me design a semester course in Creationism

[KansDem]

This thread got me thinking Bill Would Allow Texas School to Grant Master's Degree in Science for Creationism

How would you design a 36-hour masters program to offer a Masters Degree in Science for Creationism? I would think just a one-semester course would be a challenge.

For example, assuming this is a three-hour course and will entail a typical 16-week semester, I came up with the following syllabus for the hypothetical first course in "Creation Science:"

CSCI-100A--"Introduction to Creationism"
Instructor: Dr. KansDem
Office: TBA
Hours: TBA

Week 1
Day 1—Topic: The universe was created by an omnipotent, omniscient invisible being
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 2
Day 1—
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 3
Day 1—
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 4
Day 1— Term paper topic due
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 5
Day 1— First midterm exam
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 6
Day 1—
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 7
Day 1— Term paper outline and bibliography due
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 8
Day 1—
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 9
Day 1—
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 10
Day 1— Second midterm exam
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 11
Day 1—
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 12
Day 1—
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 13
Day 1—
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 14
Day 1—
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 15
Day 1—Term paper due
Day 2—
Day 3—
Week 16
Final exam

BIBLIOGRAPHY
Bible

Came up with some gaps here. Can anyone help out?

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. Week 6, day 3

Mudskippers are a trick from the devil.

[KansDem]

3. Excellent, thanks!

But couldn't this be discussed a little earlier in the semester? I was thinking about saving a discussion on the platypus for Week 6, but hadn't decided for certain...

[Fumesucker]

29. Robin Williams has a hilarious take on how the Platypus came to be..

God got stoned..

"Let's take a beaver"..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc2JBtrPpIk

[jody]

7. Posted wrong place. n/t

[PVnRT]

48. Is that peer-reviewed research?

[BuyingThyme]

Don't forget Jiminy Cricket.

[leftyclimber]

2. Actually, I think you've pretty much covered it. nt

[KansDem]

11. I thought if I spoke more slowly during my lecture...

...or used a lot of "ahhs" and "mmms" and repeated several times, maybe told a personal anecdote or two, I could stretch the first day's topic into the second day...maybe even the third, but that still leaves 15 more weeks...

Damn! Academia is hard work!

[leftyclimber]

14. Heck, if you have enough discussion (noncritical, of course) and maybe some movies

you can probably drag the first lecture out for the whole semester!

Oh, and guest speakers. Don't forget guest speakers.



.... So what's going to happen for the other 33 credits? :shrug:

[KansDem]

27. Yeah, "movies!" I forgot all about movies!

...and guest speakers, too! Thanks! :hi:

So what's going to happen for the other 33 credits?
That's a major concern! What about these possible course titles:
"Introduction to Creationism, Part 2" (part one would be a prerequisite, of course)
"Intermediate Creationism"
"Advanced Creationism"
"Creative Creationism"
"The Philosophical Foundations of Creationism"
"Creationism and Society"
"Creationism and the Scientific Revolution"
"Beyond Creationism"
"Creationism and the Hegelian Dialectic"
"Creationism and the Age of Reason"

...I don't know; I'll be happy to design a first-semester course in its entirety!

[MisterP]

62. don't creationist "arguments" usually just mean pushing "play" on the VCR? n/t

[leftyclimber]

30. Wait! Wait! I think I've got it!

Add a research project component. Get a hamster, rabbit, some other small, fuzzy critter. Have them observe it for changes all semester based on whatever variables they decide are appropriate. Make sure they are based on Biblical principles, of course.

At the end of the course they can write a paper disproving evolution based on their N=1 fuzzy rodent, which will of course still be a fuzzy rodent by week 16, assuming it's fed and watered properly.

This way you can do the following:

Mondays = unscientific method and statistics (that way they don't have to be exposed to the heathen Stats department, where they might encounter people in the Sciences of the Devil).

Wednesdays = observation of fuzzy rodent.

Fridays = reporting out this week's findings, discussion of the miracle of nonevolution, and general praise.

And if the paper's good enough, you can get it published in the Journal of Pseudoscience or something and have another publication toward tenure. Two birds, one stone. :evilgrin:

Then again, three-hour blocks are easier to dispose of WRT lesson planning; you might want to consider going from a MWF schedule to, say Wednesdays only (to align with the mid-week church schedule).

This is kind of fun, I'm ashamed to admit.

[KansDem]

38. Yeah, I like the "Wednesdays only" schedule...

Good suggestion about the Journal of Pseudoscience. Get the students to do most of the work, then simply write up the findings!

And the rodent thing is pure genius. Assign a GTA to take care of the animals, and the Dean will think we're really doing something scientific! After all, "animals and observation" = "scientific method"

I like the way you think! Maybe you'd like to join the faculty? If so, please send:
1) resume
2) letter explaining why you are interested in this position
3) transcripts
4) three letters of references
5) supporting materials (no rodents, please)

But don't worry; I've got an "in" with the search committee! You've got it made!

[leftyclimber]

39. Do you hire ABD? nt

[KansDem]

42. You bet!

We'll give you a year to finish it...

But you gotta get on the gravy train before it pulls out of the station!

Academia, here we come!!! Chooga-chooga, chooga-chooga, chooga-chooga...

[leftyclimber]

50. Excellent. You should be receiving the requested materials shortly.

I look forward to meeting with you. I have always wanted to live in Texas, and I feel that as a social scientist I am exceptionally qualified for this position. :evilgrin:

[Believing Is Art]

67. If there really is a god,

he will decide this is a good time for some evolution. The fuzzy rodent will develop a horn and start poking them with it. Real scientists will take blood samples from the rodent and isolate the genetic mutation that brought the horn. They release the rodent into a natural environment. Being a rodent, it is fruitful. The horn proves to be advantageous when encountered by predators.

Thus is born the hamstercorn.

[ElboRuum]

4. Fill all the empty slots with "Miscellaneous Praising".

[chrisa]

5. Cain and Able, The Flood, Job, Jonah, Song of Songs, etc.

All wonderful folk tales (not trying to offend anyone here).

[leftyclimber]

9. Ah, but you can't have Song of Songs in the classroom.

It has sex in it.

;)

[Zhade]

58. An all-powerful psychopath drowning the entire world is a "wonderful" myth?

NT!

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. *snarf* "Trace the routes of Noah's 3 sons and the development of the races." No really,

I was asked to teach this once when I volunteered in an evangelical classroom. Needless to say I was appalled and nauseous.

[kestrel91316]

8. You need to spend at least a day on how the rapid development

of bacterial resistance to new antibiotics is not actually evolution on a small short-term scale, but rather a devil's trick to weaken our faith.

[KansDem]

17. But wouldn't that be embracing religion and not creationism?

I mean, I thought Creationism was suppose to be more, well, "scientific..."

Am I wrong in this assumption?

[kestrel91316]

34. I'm sure any fundie can give you scientific "proof" that the devil exists.

I couldn't, but then as one of His minions, why would I want to help out?

LOL

[hunter]

52. I actually had that conversation with a creationist.

She claimed that most everything bad that happens is the work of or deception by the devil, most especially this "evolution" of bacterial resistance.

Personally I like my great grandma's concept of the devil much better -- that Satan has no power on earth, none, zilch, couldn't even blow out a candle, and that all the "evil" on earth is random bad luck, or mankind's rotteness, all of which God sorts out for the better in His Own Good Timelessness. Maybe Satan is down in hell watching television and cheering for evil, but nobody can hear him, and he can't lift a finger on earth thanks to an Omnipotent God. We own our own demons.

My other favorite creationist is a "geologist" who picks through the aftermath of Mt. St. Helens looking for features he claims are identical to every other geological feature ever found, thus explaining how most geology is a consequence of Noah's flood.

You really can't argue with delusions like that, so taking a cue from my great grandma's plain-as-dirt theology, I disarm these kooks on their theology, not to change their minds for sure -- you can't argue with stupid -- but to make them go away, especially when they worm themselves into teaching situations with kids. I'll sit in the front row and stare at them like they are irritating insects if that's what it takes. But mostly they can't hide their religious beliefs when provoked and that can get them kicked off the stage in public education at least.

[Believing Is Art]

68. Hmm, another idea

For the ones that are really clueless about anything outside of fundamentalist Christians, tell them about a program you heard that will help "clear" the effects of the devil from them.

Direct them towards the nearest e-meter for their free stress test.

[rateyes]

10. Explain the contradictions away between the first and second

creation accounts in the book of Genesis. Put special emphasis on how light was created before the sun, moon, and stars.

[Connie_Corleone]

12. Don't forget the creationist documentary, The Flintstones.

[LeftyMom]

13. "Microevolution" vs "Macroevolution"

aka Evolution we don't deny anymore versus evolution we're still pretending didn't happen.

[KansDem]

18. That sounds more like the topic for a philosophy course!

I was thinking in terms of "science" here...

[rug]

15. You really shouldn't need more than six days.

[KansDem]

21. Yes, true. But in order for my department to keep its accreditation...

I would have to have something more like the syllabus plan in the OP. If the accreditation team came around and saw a syllabus for a 6-day course, well, it'll be goodbye "Intro to Creationism" and goodbye "Dr. KansDem!"

And I don't have tenure yet!

[wryter2000]

26. Ding, ding, ding

We have a winner. :rofl:

[sufrommich]

16. Week 9, Day 1- The Flintstones: A case study. nt

[chrisa]

53. You can leave the part though, where.

They went to Viva Rock Vegas.

[gratuitous]

19. Key to final exam

All answers are "God did it."

Please send my consultant's fee via PayPal.

[KansDem]

22. Your consultant's fee has been paid according to your instructions...

...God did it.

[msongs]

20. how bout "hijacking previous belief systems to create the current model" lecture ? nt

[shadowknows69]

23. Require examples of at least 10 creation myths and their similarities

That would put the buggers to work a bit and make some heads explode in the process.

[wryter2000]

24. The last lecture

Why Creationists are a Persecuted Minority within the So-Called Scientific Community: Whining Your Way into the Corporate Media

[KansDem]

28. Excellent!

I could "team-teach" with a member of the Communications & Media faculty!

Thanks! :hi:

[wryter2000]

40. So glad you like it

Go forth and indoctrinate. :evilgrin:

[leftyclimber]

33. Heck, you could probably develop a whole seminar out of that. nt

[Wildewolfe]

25. Creation science

would seem to be an oxymoron.

A degree in creationism would seem to be a theology degree to me.

But the class you describe I take it is biblical creationism since the bibliography lists the bible as it's only reference. Otherwise day 1 could be the creation of the universe and everything else that follows could be hard science including evolution.

[hootinholler]

31. Week 3 day 1

Rest. (the 7th day of the course)

:shrug:

This is brilliant.

-Hoot

[Believing Is Art]

32. You could spend a couple days talking about the "complexity" of the eye

as a sign that there had to be a creator, err, designer.

You could spend a whole week teaching them how to use attacks on abiogenisis to refute evolution, even though evolution doesn't try to answer how life originated, only how it changes.

Another week could be devoted to the creation of straw man arguments. These are the creationists' best friends.

[KansDem]

47. Okay, that takes care of about a fifth of the semester...

Gotta do something with the other 4/5s.

Think, man, THINK!!!

[dixiegrrrrl]

56. Field trips...you want field trips...

Hmmm...but where to....??

hmmmmmm...( tapping fingers in perplexity)

[Believing Is Art]

61. Here you go, more than enough!

http://www.talkorigins.org/indexcc/list.html

Just leave out the responses that refute each claim.

[jody]

35. A degree in Science for Creationism is an oxymoron given that science is the study of the natural

world and creationism is speculation about the supernatural world if exists.

[amborin]

66. you beat me to saying this!

[derby378]

36. During Week 15, you have to blame evolution on the Jews

I wish I still had the link. Someone in Alabama was actually trying to do that, IIRC.

[ColbertWatcher]

37. Here is an instructional video to help with ideas ...

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/91511/august-14-2007/dna--could-it-happen-to-you----jackknife

[cynatnite]

41. What about Cain and Abel's contribution? n/t

[NorthCarolina]

43. Don't forget to address a brief How-To *Walking On Water for Beginners*

here's a link to the Miracle Made Simple to help you in your lesson planning.

http://www.nomadpress.net/activities/Leo_WaterShoes.pdf

[BR_Parkway]

44. Week 1, Day 2 - discussion of Able/Cain & Eve along with incest

and how those practices are looked upon in a modern society

[NorthCarolina]

45. To make the course somewhat *current*, you should absolutely include

a segment on the *Gay Jesus*.

Background info and a course outline can be gathered here: http://www.dirkvanden.net/IS%20JESUS%20GAY.htm

[Mz Pip]

46. The taming of the dinosaurs

must be discussed. I would love to know how the cave men got those saddles on them.

[KansDem]

49. Here...

DU thread from November 1997--
Creationist Paleontologists Discover Dinosaur Saddle

This topic could definitely be the basis for a lecture!

Thanks! :hi:

[hiphopnation]

51. wouldn't myths of the flagella have to be in there somewhere?

seriously, wouldn't it?
jesus, i can't believe i live in this state sometimes...

[Motown_Johnny]

54. parallel Big Bang theory with Bible's creation myth

Let There Be Light = Big Bang (energy)

separated the light from the darkness = matter forms


Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear = earth forms and cools until there is liquid water on the surface



Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds = life forming and plants propagating




etc etc etc


it is pretty easy if you take into account that the people who wrote the myth had no idea what the fuck they were talking about.

The one problem is that the myth has the sun and moon forming after earth has water. Not that big a deal if you take into account they still thought that the sun went around the earth and that the earth was flat.

[Dr Fate]

55. You only need 6 days to teach it- on the 7th day, you rest. n/t

n/t

[omega minimo]

65. sorry I realized after I posted someone musta beat me to it.

:toast:

Yours is better.

[MiniMe]

57. The best I can do is to say you can do some "how to create" themes

Like creating paintings, creating books, you get the idea. Ooohhhh, how about how to create an excuse.

[MindPilot]

59. Of course you have gaps

Those are the gaps in the fossil record that prove creations ism is more than just a theory!

[Raskolnik]

60. You don't want to fill in those gaps.

That's where god lives.

[CreekDog]

63. 16 weeks? Why not 6 days???

:think:

[omega minimo]

64. Shouldn't you create the course in Seven Days?

:shrug:

[gauguin57]

69. You need to schedule time for bookburning.

Burning all books other than the bible. All those books that present an alternative reality to the bible's fairy tales.

[KansDem]

72. Shouldn't I update to the 21st century and burn CDs, DVDs, and hard drives too?

Granted, book burning does have provide powerful symbolic image:


But so will burning computers!

Damn the internet(s), the Devil's conduit(s) of influence!!!

[PerfectSage]

70. Anyone with 2 braincells knows the universe was created by an omnipotent, omniscient invisible being

In psychology it's called the Ego.

[Ghost in the Machine]

71. Fill all the rest of the days in with worshipping the burning bush...

You'll get some AWESOME reports that way...


:evilgrin:

[Hepburn]

73. You forgot the seminar on how dinosaurs...

...actually were on the Noah's Ark!

:hi: