Michele Bachmann to ban the number 6. "[it's] one letter away from s-e-x" ...

[ColbertWatcher]

"That old number was one letter away from s-e-x," Bachmann said breathlessly, her eyes glazed over in excitement, "and as everyone knows, once you've got kids thinking about s-e-x, they'll be asking about homosexuality and next thing you know everyone will be pregnant and spreading herpes."

Citizens in her district are looking forward to Bachmann's innovation. An unnamed parent told Wikiality.com's reporter, "The public schools have been pushing their way of counting for far too long. We need to orient our children's precious minds away from secular counting and teach them a non-sexual way to count."

An unnamed Anoka-Hennepin school board member already searching online for Texas school books that use the new system agrees, "My hope is that one day every American child will be able to say how old the Earth is without automatically thinking about getting sweaty and naked and fornicating during lunch hour."

--Colbert News Service

[denem]

1. Nope - other way around. She's banning sex,sex,sex.

[ColbertWatcher]

2. That too. n/t

[Chipper Chat]

3. This reminds me of my third grade music class.

The teacher would never say "turn to page 69." She would just announce "turn to page 70; oh, lets go back one page." This ploy was futile as we all knew what the score was. Out of respect for her we didn't giggle. But I am giggling at Michele now.

[ColbertWatcher]

4. Kick. n/t