Another 11 Year-Old Commits Suicide Over Anti-Gay Bullying

[helderheid]

Yet another young life has ended over anti-gay bullying. In Georgia:

On Thursday afternoon, after returning home from school, fifth-grader Jaheem quietly went into his room and hanged himself. His 10-year-old sister, Yerralis, also a fifth-grader, discovered Jaheem’s dead body. “His sister was screaming, ‘Get him down, get him down,’” said Norman Keene, who helped raise Jaheem since the boy was two years old. When Keene got to the room, he saw Yerralis holding her brother, trying to remove the pressure of the noose her brother had fashioned with a fabric belt. Jaheem was bullied relentlessly, his family said. Keene said the family knew the boy was a target, but until his death they didn’t understand the scope. “We’d ask him, ‘Jaheem, what’s wrong with you?’” Keene recalled. “He’d never tell us.” He didn’t want his sister to tell, either. She witnessed much of the bullying, and many times rose to her brother’s defense, Keene said. “They called him gay and a snitch,” his stepfather said. “All the time they’d call him this.”

Jaheem's parents say they had complained to the school about their son's abuse, but Dekalb County school officials refuse to comment on the situation, no doubt because their lawyers fear a coming massive lawsuit.

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:cry:

[get the red out]

1. How can we call ourselves civilized

when children are allowed to develop into monsters and treat others as this boy was treated?

[RedCappedBandit]

20. People excel at ignoring reality :|

[ccharles000]

2. k/r

so sad

[tbyg52]

3. I am so sorry.

This kind of thing is what happens when people think it's OK to treat other people as second-class citizens. And when schools don't take bullying seriously.

[Smith_3]

4. With all the stupid "zero tolerance" policies out there, no one has ever come up with the good one:

The anti-bullying zero-tolerance policy. I would be for enforcing that on schools.

[paulsby]

12. that's pollyanna

bullying will always exist. it existed when i was a kid. kids shouldn't be bullies. and the best response to a bully is still a punch in the nose.

[get the red out]

25. Great idea! Reinforce violence with more violence

Exactly what our society needs right now.:banghead:

[paulsby]

26. in the case of bullies, yes

i don't care if it's not politically correct. it works. i get calls all the time from (usually single moms, probably cause dads are more likely to tell the kid to suck it up and hit back next time) parents because their little darling kid got pushed or intimidated in the schoolyard. guess what? that's happened for time immemorial and will always happen.

what WORKS with bullies is when (usually the kid they least expect it from) the kid fights back. bullies want to feel powerful and getting a punch in the nose does NOT make you feel powerful.

getting school admin involved (let alone police) for low level schoolyard bullying is NOT as effective as the bully getting his ass handed to him.

people need to stand up to bullies.

[Jkid]

47. What if the victim gets arrested and goes to jail?

Don't mind me, I'm just playing the devils advocate.

[paulsby]

49. i think it's absurd

that most (if not all) schools now have a "zero tolerance' policy that punishes kids (administratively) even if one of the kids was clearly acting in self-defense.

is it a concern? sure. is it a big deal? no

worst case scenario, the kid gets arrested (iow it is dealt with criminally, not just administratively). then, he gets metric assloads of witnesses to contact the prosecutors office and inform them that the alleged victim is a bully, has bullied THEIR kids as well, and is clearly not the victim. and the school probably even has tons of records that the bully is in fact a bully.

no prosecutor is going to go gangbusters to prosecute some 14 yr old for defending himself against a schoolyard bully IF it ever even got to the point where an arrest was made (i certainly wouldn't make arrest for some schoolyard scuffle)

you are going to have the witnesses in your favor that the kid is a bully, etc.

[NashVegas]

80. The Victim Needs A Family Who Will Stand Behind Them

Part of the problem is that often, they don't. That's a huge part of why some kids are bullied throughout their school years. When parents don't take it seriously enough, and when parents don't listen and provide their child the emotional support they need the kid gets the idea that no one is going to help them. Period.

Leaving a complaint isn't enough. If the school doesn't put a halt to the problem, parents must intervene, themselves, and either teach the kid how to defend themselves, or yank him/her out of that school.

[Posteritatis]

100. With ZT policies the way they are that could happen even if the victim doesn't fight back

In a lot of schools it's a violation of school violence policies to get attacked. The bullies aren't going to be punished because Oh Well That's How Kids Are And It's Good For Their Targets Anyway, and the victims are usually explicitly forbidden from defending themselves.

[Cid_B]

56. Remind's me of Ender's Game

right at the beginning where he goes through the logical 2nd and 3rd order effects of fighting back against his bully...

edit: typos

[Zodiak]

99. Except Ender concluded that putting his opponent down PERMANENTLY was the way to go

He was right from a purely strategic sense, but in today's world that would get you in a fair bit of trouble.

After all, normal kids are not charged with saving the Earth from the buggers.

[Cid_B]

111. Well, in Ender's defense

he had no intention of killing either of his bullies. What a good story that was.

[Zodiak]

113. It was a great story.

Actually, I related to it quite a bit. Too bad Orson Scott Card is a rightie...I wouldn't have known from reading his books.

[proud2BlibKansan]

16. That's not true

Lots of school districts and several states have zero tolerance policies on bullying.

[Posteritatis]

101. Yeah, but how many enforce them? (nt)

[JerseygirlCT]

51. Seems like it's fine to expend the energy to strip seach a girl for carrying ibuprofen

but bullying? Oh well, kids will be kids...

It has to stop. Parents have to insist on it; educators have to insist on it.

[backtoblue]

5. tragic

My son starts kindergarden this Aug. and it's scary to think he might ever have to endure such hate. I think schools should begin to have some degree of accountability in how students act while they're there. :grouphug:

[QC]

6. IT'S ONLY GOING TO BE A TWO MINUTE PRAYER!1!!!1

[tbyg52]

7. Exactly. nt

[Fumesucker]

21. Ouch..

Can I have an A-men?

[QC]

23. HE'S ONLY GOING TO SING ONE SONG!11!!!!!!

[Fumesucker]

29. Hallelujah, say it brothers and sisters..

[QC]

30. Poutrage! Poutrage!

Where's my pony?

[ColbertWatcher]

34. I think every time something like this happens ...

... we should remember "Pastor" Rick, just as we remember the NRA every time there's a murder/suicide shooting.

[QC]

39. Precisely! n/t

[closeupready]

76. Right.

You got it.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

89. What should President Obama's punishment be for causing this suicide?

[closeupready]

91. First off, he'd have to care.

When that happens, get back to me.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

92. Oh, so you DO care?

Silly me, I thought you and the OP were simply exploiting this kid's suicide for an illogical, back-handed, non-constructive attack on the sitting Democratic president.

Disregard then.

[closeupready]

95. Please note. You are not posting on the Barack Obama Fan Club Discussion Board.

This is the Democratic Underground. Thank you.

[QC]

105. Has Ignored gotten confused again? n/t

[closeupready]

107. self-delete

self-delte

[Bluebear]

96. This story is just today's latest poutrage!!!11

[ArtVandelay]

8. DO 11 year olds even know if they are gay yet?

And I know the other kids sure as hell can't tell. Poor little boy! My son is twelve and he gets called "Dexter" (smart and wears glasses) and nerd. He hates it and cries. We had to get him contacts because it was affecting him so much. I thought there was ZT also but its not true.

[ginnyinWI]

9. I agree--it's pretty young

My sense of the story is that it was a response to the bullying more than anything else. It was a way out. Also, don't most boys go through a slightly homosexual phase on their way to what will be their final identity? Girls do it too. It's really a shame what happened to this kid.

Bullying in general causes social scars that can last a lifetime. My husband was bullied as a kid, and to this day at age 56 he tends to avoid social situations that he's not sure of. In other words, he's still waiting for it to happen to him again!

[Joe Bacon]

62. I know the feeling

The day I graduated from high school, I felt the same way as a person liberated from a Nazi death camp. Those scars are still there and they never go away. Especially in my case when teachers and coaches encouraged attacks on me. When I go to vote and see school bond issues, I remember all the racial slurs that teachers spit out at me and I vote NO.

The only way to stop bullying is for enough of these victims to stand up and sue the crap out of these bullies families,schools and teachers. When they get hit in the wallet, they'll stop the bullying. Or else. When a bullies family gets their future earnings garnished in a judgement for 20 years after a victim dies they'll stop.

[proud2BlibKansan]

15. Yes they know

I have taught elementary school for 29 years. The kids know and their peers know. Sometimes as young as 1st or 2nd grade.

[Beam Me Up]

18. I knew but it isn't exactly that simple.

I can remember feeling sexual attraction to other boys when I was around age six or so. I don't think any "playing around" occurred until I was around nine. But even so, what one knows isn't formulated so much as a "thought" as a feeling or desire. Full blown sexuality hadn't even entered my head yet but the desire to touch and be touch and to arouse and be aroused was definitely there.

[WI_DEM]

27. some children (like some adults) can be unbelievably cruel and not enough people step up

and defend the people being bullied because they are afraid that they will be picked on next.

[ulysses]

31. that's not too young.

They start getting a sexual identity about this age, iirc from my own childhood and if my fifth graders are any indication. Not that that matters anyway to someone who wants to bully someone else.

Damn. Damn, damn, damn.

[mzteris]

43. that doesn't even matter really

because it's not whether or not the kid WAS gay, it's that he was bullied and tormented. That kids PERCEIVE being (called) "gay" as an enormous "insult" - (which in itself is a huge problem).

Being singled out and harassed and teased and bullied - that was the problem. Not whether he was or was not gay, really.

Though, of course, there is that percentage (a large one at that) of kids who commit suicide because they think they MIGHT be gay - because society has taught them that being gay is "wrong"... However, I don't think that was the case with this boy. It was bullying.

[ColbertWatcher]

44. Does it matter? n/t

[Dappleganger]

102. Exactly!

Boys do this pretty early on--our oldest son started getting it in 5th grade through most of middle school. He's over 6' now so nobody messes with him. He came awfully close to getting into a few fights but he was able to learn to take the punches. One kid who had bullied him since we moved here in '01 tried it again (with a punch) when ds was in 7th grade, but ds turned around and laughed in his face and told him it didn't hurt. That kid hasn't messed with ds ever since.

I don't think my son is gay but even if he was it shouldn't matter, bullying is bullying and kids are cruel. I am grateful our son has learned to take some punches and to know that he has his limits as well. He took a lot of crap during election season but he handled himself well, even with a rethug history teacher. At least he's big enough to take a certain amount of hits, because so many kids aren't and get hurt.

[Dappleganger]

103. Just wanted to add

The kids began calling him gay when he was in 5th grade. and pretty much any kid who was smart, wore glasses and wasn't a jock was called gay. I remember him coming home and asking what being gay meant so I told him in a matter of fact way. He couldn't get over their stupidity. He's my gentle giant, just like his dad. :)

[JerseygirlCT]

52. Zero tolerance is a bad excuse, I think, for demanding that all of the

adults at the school take responsibility for what happens on their watch.

To your question: I have friends who say they knew as young as 4-5. Just "knew". But yes, in many cases, there's nothing anyone else ought to be able to tell. And more to the point, what if there was? Should it ever be acceptable for "gay" to be a slur?

My older son took a great deal of teasing, too - for the glasses, too. If it helps any, he learned to pretty successfully use humor to turn things around. And by the time he got to HS, he was a pretty well-liked kid, who traveled pretty easily through all sorts of HS groups. But, maybe thanks to having been the put-on kid, he's also a very sensitive guy to people being treated as outcasts.

[NMMNG]

59. I knew when I was 8 or so

If you can start having crushes on the opposite gender when you're that young what's so strange to think you could be interested in the same gender? This nonsense about "it's just a phase" or "you're confused and will grow out of it" is stuff people tell you when they're confused and/or in denial.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

64. Yeah, they can, but it doesn't really matter, because all you have to do is be percieved as gay

[bullwinkle428]

70. When were you aware of your heterosexuality? With me, I was in kindergarten

and became aware of weird feelings of attraction when it came to certain girls in my class as well as a teacher in the classroom next door!

It still didn't stop certain bullies from taunting me with "queer, gay, fag" on occasion, being the small, quiet, sensitive, book-smart type...

[closeupready]

75. I did.

n/t

[NashVegas]

78. Let Me Put It This Way

Discussion between me (female) and a gay male friend.

Me: David Cassidy? I had SUCH a HUGE CRUSH on him when I was like, 6.
Him: Me too!

[Bluebear]

114. :)

[NashVegas]

115. Joe?

Is that you?

:D

[progressoid]

10. How awful.

[noiretextatique]

11. tragic

the mother of a friend of jaheem's complained to the school too.
that poor child.
http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/dpp/news/Suicide_Vicitm_Family_Blames_School_041709

[nadinbrzezinski]

13. But, but, but schools keep telling us, boys will be boys

and parents too.

There are days

[L0oniX]

14. Ban rope (aka the ban guns crowd)

[Fumesucker]

22. It wasn't rope..

It was fashioned from fabric..

Pretty big effort, make a rope, find something to tie it to, then find something to climb on that you can kick away.

Guns on the other hand can kill you in less time than it takes to conceive the thought.

I'm not anti gun, I actually like to shoot and I'm pretty good at it but guns do make suicide and killing an instantaneous affair with virtually zero effort or thought required.

[Beam Me Up]

17. "What is WRONG with you?" is the *wrong* question to ask a child.

I'm not a psychologist but I know that much. As a gay man who grew up with some of this kind of teasing -- not enough to cause me to kill myself but enough that I thought about it -- I know that question. The problem is the child often feels/thinks there IS something wrong with him even if he can't really say what it is. I was DEPRESSED for years as a child and that began when I began to understand that I was attracted to other boys. I didn't know "why" it was "wrong" only that there must be something wrong with me. It took a long, long time and a lot of support both peer and professional for that to get untangled in my head.

I'm not sure what the question should be by a concerned parent, how it should be phrased, but that isn't it. As I recall it, the primary problem was there was no TRUST between me and anyone around me (parents especially) that I could talk about what was happening and WHY it was so upsetting. There was no trust that I could divulge my truth, have it heard, understood and respected. For me (and this was a long time ago) it was like living with something for which I had no way or "orienting" myself from the outside world except in the negative, shame filled sense. There was no discussion of homosexuality, what it was, what 'growing up gay' could mean, the challenges and opportunities, and so on. There were no "outside" sources of information that weren't prejudiced and derisive. I felt utterly alone.

[WI_DEM]

28. the parents kind of contradict themselves

They said something was wrong but didn't know what because the child never said and the sister never told them because her brother asked her not to, yet, they say they complained to the school--but unless they could give the school specifics about what was going on I'm not sure there was much they could do about it (though I would think that somebody in the school: teacher, etc, must have known).

[Flying Dream Blues]

50. Thank you for sharing your experience and insight. It's how we all learn.

I'm so glad you've found help to heal you from the pain of childhood.

:hug:

[aikanae]

19. I smell a BIG lawsuit - as if that teaches anyone

The bulling had to be pretty severe if witness' saw him pass out, like his sister said. It's not a mild case.

What no one seems to realize is that bullying isn't good for the bully either. It's right up there with kids who torture animals and a sign of deeper problems that needs help. Bullying is not a natural phase that they grow out of.

But it sounds like these poor parents have a case for a lawsuit.

[olegramps]

68. They are future cops in training.

[Shell Beau]

93. No, not all cops are bullies, thank you very much.

[closeupready]

81. AFAIAC, after the mourning has ended, they've hit the lottery.

n/t

[carlyhippy]

108. unfortunately the win of the lawsuit and all the money in the world will not bring back this child

but maybe if it is a big enough lawsuit, it will scare schools into doing something about this... I think the parents of those bullies need to be sued, also. Maybe it will wake up some people.

[AspenRose]

24. How sad.

This is unacceptable.

Condolences to the family.

[npk]

32. It's a shame it takes these kinds of tragedies to produce action

Bullying has been a problem for a long time. For the most part schools have turned a blind eye to the problem, or have said the issue is just too big to tackle. This is bullshit. Are we as adults just going to sit back and watch our children tormented to their deaths. Jesus Fucking Christ if you have children teach them not to bully. That is where it has to start. For those parents that do teach their children not to bully thank you. It's shame that these tragedies keep happening. So very sad.

[JonLP24]

69. I'm sure most bullies have parents that don't approve of it.

Trust me kids act differently when adults aren't in the room, it can range from anything like using foul mouthed language to using drugs. I'm sure most parents don't approve and even instruct but kids are very different when an adult isn't in the room.

[carlyhippy]

86. I agree, the Eddie Haskell effect (leave it to Beaver)

C

[Bluenorthwest]

106. Yeah around the parents they act like humans

but away from them, they act like their parents.

[Echo In Light]

33. So sad. Funny, I've only known 1 openly gay guy, & he could beat the crap outta the average hater

[Better Believe It]

35. How can anyone be straight or gay before puberty?

Being straight or gay indicate sexual preferences and activity.

At least that's how I have understood it.

[Lyric]

37. Nope.

There is no set age at which you know whether you're gay or straight, but I know people who recognized an attraction to the same gender from as early as four years old. Hell, I remember making out in the coatroom with David P. in kindergarten, feeling sexual pleasure from self-stimulation at age six, and having a sexual dream about my best friend S. at age nine (I am bi.) Just because they're kids doesn't mean that they aren't still sexual beings. Even babies and toddlers can masturbate.

[Beam Me Up]

38. I certainly knew my preference before puberty.

By "preference" what I mean is, it was very clear to me that looking at nude or semi-nude male images excited me erotically. Looking at nude or semi-nude females did not. This was very clear to me by age eight but had begun even earlier.

As for "activity," (with another) it was just "playing around," at that point and very rare but it did happen.

[Seldona]

40. My ten year old has crushes already.

In fact this last Friday night she was asked to dance for the first time at a school function. I am pretty proud she came home and told me about it right away. She viewed it as a pretty big deal, even if she turned the poor kid down. It's all career with her, so far anyway.

[FreeState]

45. Sexual activity does not define your orientation - their are gay virgins n/t

[NMMNG]

61. So until you got laid you were up in the air as to what you were?

FFS, it has to do with romantic and sexual attraction, not screwing. Nuns and priests (or anybody) can be straight, gay or bisexual even if they've been celibate all their lives.

[bullwinkle428]

72. How about kindergarten?

[Bluebear]

97. Hunt's or Heinz ketchup? THAT is a "preference", thank you.

The child before puberty is a gay virgin.

[Lyric]

36. I am sick to death of this being called "bullying". It's NOT fucking bullying. It's TORTURE.

Example of bullying: "Hey squirt--gimme your lunch money, or I'll punch your lights out." Rarely is the threat ever actually followed-through on, and when called on it, most bullies claim "Hey, I was just kidding!" Bullies get off on power; when they are threatened with punishment, they tend to back off because society frowns upon that sort of thing. There isn't much reinforcement.

Example of torture: "Hey ya little fuckin' faggot. Look at me when I'm talkin' to you. You didn't have a mother, didja? Your Dad fucked another guy and shit you out, and now here you are, carrying on the family tradition. Hey--who said you could fuckin' breathe in MY hallway, little queer? Come suck my dick and I'll let you pass. In fact, you can suck ALL of our dicks, and you'll like it too, won't cha?" Ad nauseum, usually accompanied by physical violence, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and a SCORE of horrific things that are FAR beyond "bullying." If you tell on them, they defend themselves by saying how you were trying to "hit on" them, how disgusting "faggots" are, and then as soon as the teachers are out of the way, they come after you even worse. If you try to defend yourself, the torturers gather a gang of like-minded friends and put you in the hospital. Why are they worse? Because society DOESN'T frown upon this kind of behavior, and in certain places, actually encourages it. There's plenty of reinforcement to convince these kids that torturing suspected gay kids is their duty as good Americans.

Anti-gay torture is to bullying what a towering inferno is to a campfire. You can call both "a fire," but the difference in magnitude makes them as different as night and day.

Believe me, I know from experience. I got "bullied" and it was awful enough, but my best friend got tortured as the gay kid in a Southern rural high school, and his experiences are absolutely heart-rending. Parents really have no idea what their sweet little darlings are like when nobody is around. Nobody ever wants to believe it of THEIR kid--that is, unless they're the type of parent who'd clap their kid on the back and say, "Well done." There are a lot of parents like that out there, because there are a lot of homophobic, gay-hating adults out there who have kids.

[Peace_Sells]

53. Yes

Yes I definitly agree. It should be called torture. The stuff in the second paragraph was how I was talked to and treated on a regular basis. It scarred me and it scars millions of children its more than "a lil teasin" as some put it and hitting them WON'T put a stop to it.

[carlyhippy]

57. it would be considered a hate crime or terrorism if the bully and victim were adults

The bully's parents need to be held responsible, because juvies get just a slap on the wrist for this stuff, make it sting a little, maybe that would help.

[closeupready]

74. Yes. Correct. It IS torture.

:mad:

[QC]

41. KICK! n/t

:kick:

[carlyhippy]

42. skip going thru the school mazes, go to the parents of these mean lil snots and involve the cops

the schools can just tell them to stop it while it's on their clock. The cops being invovled and the parents of these lil jerks need to be held responsible. They raised them, now they have to pay for their raising. I hate stories like this one, and it's happening all the time now.

I was one of those moms who stepped in and stopped a bully from hurting another child, even if it wasn't my kid. I figured it was worth it if it helped that child, even if it was for that day, someone has to help these poor kids.

[nonconformist]

46. That poor little boy.

Wow, depressing stories today.

[Starry Messenger]

48. Oh God.

That poor family. The picture at that blog is just heartbreaking. I had to lecture a bunch of high school students today about homophobic speech. Somedays it feels like chipping at a fucking rock face. This is why we need to be talking to the young about this, earlier and earlier. This should never have happened.

[cherish44]

54. My daughter got in trouble for kicking a girl in the head who was bullying her

I was initially upset but the more I thought about it, the more I came to the conclusion that sometimes you have to fight back in life. I told her I don't like violence, but if you're in a position where you have to defend yourself, go ahead and KICK SOME ASS. Schools don't do enough to stop bullying. No tolerance for bullying makes a good catch phrase but it's fanatsy. (Oh the bully girl has since left my daughter alone. That boot to the head done learned her not to mess with my daughter).

[enigmatic]

55. This makes me sick

That poor child.

[NMMNG]

58. Yet the RRRW a-holes

continue to denounce efforts to end the bullying as "religious persecution" and "advancing the Homosexual Agenda". I hope they burn in their own hell after suffering painful deaths, the hateful scum.

[bunnies]

60. Its sad that these kids feel that being called gay is an insult.

Kids in my grade school called each other gay all the time - though it was actually 'gaylord' and I dont think any of us really knew what being gay meant. Still though, why would these kids rather die than be thought of as gay? Sad on many levels.

[comtec]

65. It's being "different", it doesnt matter if it's gay, or fat, or in my case

I was in special ed.
I can not ever explain the hell that other kids put us through, being in "Special Ed."
It's not that i'm any dumber, in fact my IQ is well above average.
But I have (always) had a bit of an ager management problem... I would regularly beat the living crap out of my tormentors.
The problem for me being two fold.
One - I had black outs when I raged back then. i have literally no control, and only "woke up" after it was all done
two - the administrators were fucking idiots. I got yelled at by the fucking principal and vice P many times!

oh yeah and >I< the fucking VICTIM of the bullying, A L W A Y S got suspended and sent home for DEFENDING MYSELF from a GROUPS of bullies!!!

In the end what stopped it all cold was that my parents FORCED (lord knows how) the administration to start suspending the OTHER kid(s) ... um.. also.

So those little fucks were at least getting equal punishment as I was.
*mutters darkly about being punished fro self defense*

In high school the bullying actually stopped when I was so pissed off I was about to take on an entire crowd in my sophomore year.
I am fortunate that my gym teacher, when he arrived, told the crowd to piss off.

After that people left me alone. In my junior year (I was in drama - SHOCK) things went much better, and I spent most of my HS years with the stoners, who are generally a very pleasant bunch of people :)

In college....the change is indescribable, but thankfully everyone here has gone to either JC (like me) or a real college.


but the bullying in elementary school was hell, worse than hell, and the fact that the administration NEVER did anything to protect me in any way has made me distrustful of all authority.

I'm bi, and only realized this a handful of years ago. Looking back I always have been, but I was so scared to admit it! I had enough problems being different, i didn't want THAT one added on top of it.
I wonder how I would have turned out, socially, if I had accepted the reality of it earlier on?

[bunnies]

66. Good points.

And thanks for sharing your story. It definitely helps me understand. :pals:

I guess I just figured that being different isnt as negative a thing as it used to be. Wishful thinking on my part I suppose.

Why the hell are kids so mean to other kids like that? If I had a kid that had to go through something like what you went through... theres no telling what I'd have done to the tormentors. Too many kids being raised by the tv - or maybe too many shitty parents.

And good for you for sticking up for yourself! :hug:

[comtec]

67. Thank you ^_^

Tho I will admit I was a lil psycho at times... The deamon just ... took over.

They say NOT reacting and fighting is the "better way", that's it's "harder not to fight"... they have literally no idea.

The problem is of course, if you DON'T stand up for yourself it actually gets WORSE!

I never appreciated that my dad made me take him to a bully's house when I was a kid, he talked to the kids father, and I came to understand why that kid was the way he was.

He never bothered me again, but, I could swear I could hear his father beating him as we drove off....

I was rarely punished for being suspended. The reality is I hated being sent home. I LIKED class. I hated the 'normal' kids, even if I could not quite grasp that idea. I just wanted to learn and be left alone....

I grew up in the 80's so the "tv culture" as it is today didn't exist, or was just starting. I watched robotech, and other stuff that would be come to be called anime, and played outside with my friends.

away from school I did manage to life a relatively "normal-ish" life. But going to school became unpleasant because of the bullying. I had 2 bikes flat out stolen just because they were mine.

So i Understand this poor kid in the OP, and I hope administrators grow a clue, on the 10th anniversary of columbine.

[olegramps]

71. I have always wonder about bi-sexuality. Maybe these people are just sexual. Period.

[comtec]

77. and what do you mean with that?

[olegramps]

79. How does this go on without the teacher's knowledge?

They are with these kids for hours and they don't realize that one of their charges is being bullied. It seems to me, maybe I am just old and stupid, that if you told kids that anyone who calls another kid a name, including some homosexual name, would be immediately expelled that it could be a strong determent. It would seem that this would be especially effective if you make the parents fully aware of the consequences. You tell the parents that they had better make their kids fully aware of the consequences. Then start kicking these kids out of school.

[carlyhippy]

84. many many years ago a teacher told me the most effective way to deal with unruliness was

to call the parents during the school day and have them take the unruly one home. After a few times of the parents having to leave their job, tell their boss why they are leaving their job, that it usually took care of the problem child, because the parents had to address the issue, it was interfering with THEIR daily life.

Today this probably couldn't even be implemented. The kids have levels of punishment, kinda like 3 strikes, the parents have rights to appeal.

[diamidue]

109. Well at least you had the courage to defend yourself.

Some bullied kids, especially the more sensitive ones, simply give up. Many are being abused at home at the same time they are being harassed at school. But you are exactly right. It doesn't matter if you are fat, gay, special or any of a dozen other things. I don't care why someone is being bullied. Pain is pain. Rejection is rejection. Telling the authorities may help a little, but not much. You can run into bullies just walking down the street. You can't escape from it easily. You feel helpless and helplessness leads to despair. And when the despair and the pain become too much, you want to check out.

I also was saved by my HS years with the stoners! I didn't mean to. I just found them accepting of me, so I hung around them. I imagine a lot of them had been thru tough times, too.

[comtec]

112. Usually solved more trouble than it solved...

but yes I did.
But I was so shy I rarely tried to protect those that could not.
I just hid.
I always worked in the kitchens at lunch.
Less for the free lunch, and more for the isolation that kept me AWAY from the general rabble.
I always like it because I could leave class a few minutes early, and come in late, and I didn't have to socialize during that hell known as lunch!

[tomm2thumbs]

63. tragic - for everyone involved

even the tormentors-kids - slowly but surely filled up with venom, at home or school - born without a thought of evil in their heads, trained to hate & attack by age 11

[closeupready]

73. Sue that district and leave scorched earth in your wake.

n/t

[Aethertek]

82. Tragic, I hope he's in a better place

I can understand what the poor kid was going through, I suicided at age 13.
Died on the table from an overdose of pills, they brought me back & the machines took over for a few days till I came back.

It happens more than most people realize in this country, unfortunately not much is done on the root causes in our society.
Being different is a crime in this world.
Until children are better taught to accept people for who they are this will continue.

As far as the bullying goes I agree with the other posters that force is required to meet force.
I was always big for my age (fat) & had a demonic temper (still do), but I was the guy who would protect the smaller kids from the bullies. Still have that trait, nearly arrested for going after a guy who was hitting his kids in public.

There are few rules that I live by but the golden rule is no woman no kids. I'll kill another man if he has it coming so I'm no saint, but there are some things you just don't do.

Hell look around at this world, how many have been butchered as "collateral damage" in our wars & policy decisions. This is condoned, even considered legal by society, so how can you expect the children to behave when the parents teach no better.

Humans god love em cause nobody else will.

Peace
Kevin~

[closeupready]

83. Minor nit with your post - it's not as bad being 'different' as it is being 'gay'

which is like the Holy Grail for haters. That is, it sounds so inclusive to say, 'oh, anyone who is different gets shit on,' but the fact is, for gay kids, life is especially nasty. Black kids are 'different' and yet, I somehow doubt that they get bullied like gay kids do.

[Aethertek]

85. Nit Pick

Yes do wallow in your perceived status as the most victimized of persons.
No one else was treated as badly as you were.

"Black kids are different", hmm odd remark. Some may interpret that as racist, but I'm sure you meant it with only the best of intentions.

[closeupready]

87. Just observing facts. But I guess you have no use for those.

Cheers. :hi:

[Aethertek]

98. Waaa

Ah yes make assumptions of what I have use of, please tell me the story of my life.
You do of course realize that facts & perception, presumptions are not the same right,
Hmm perhaps not, but then I try not to assume.
Cheers to you.

[carlyhippy]

88. we are all the same humans, there is no difference

we need to teach our children this.

[closeupready]

90. But gay kids are more vulnerable. Esp. given how gays are demonized among most Christian

churches. No other minority group of which I'm aware is subjected to the same level of hatred and bigotry as gay people - blacks, overweight, disabled.

So I'm not even disagreeing with you.

[BuelahWitch]

110. Yes, different is bad

Fat, quiet, too skinny, too tall, nerdy, having an unfortunate name, wearing thick glasses, being the "wrong" minority (whatever the majority has determined is wrong) can all get you bullied. I know I left a few out.
After being bullied by a girl in first grade, the teacher wrote a note in my last report card that I "needed to learn adjust to all types of children". Me, not the bully. You see, I was the fortunate one who was an only child with a mother and grandmother who loved me. Marlene was one of 8 children who was recently abandoned by her mother. Of course, that meant anything she did should be overlooked.
Poor her, naughty me. :puke:

[Shell Beau]

94. That is such a shame.

:cry:

[GreenPartyVoter]

104. As long as homophobia and bullying persist, we will not see the end of these tragic deaths.

x(