Here, hold this bag. It's warm, it stinks and it's leaking, but it's yours.....

[A HERETIC I AM]

at least for a while, anyway.

It's made out of paper, so it might not be up to the task of holding the contents too well, so haste is of paramount importance. Mixed throughout the contents are various bits and thingamabobs of extraordinary value, originally placed in the bag by well meaning individuals. The dark smelly substance surrounding those bits and bobs has been put in there over the years by certain not-so-well meaning individuals. You can have some help sorting through the substance, but there is no guarantee the people helping you will do that job up to your expectations or those of anyone else. You are free to hire the finest bit and bob cleaners in their respective fields, but no one, and I mean NO ONE will be happy with ALL of your choices, regardless of how well they have previously established themselves as smelly, substance covered bit and bob cleaners.

Your job is to pick out all the bits and bobs, clean them off and put them into a new bag. You don't get gloves. In fact, you only get to wash your hands after every third bit or bob picked out and cleaned off and there are going to be cameras and people recording and commenting on every single move ad nauseum, criticizing you relentlessly if you happen to miss even the tiniest speck of the offensive material. Most of those people helping you will have differing views on the concept of clean and some are going to be so fastidious they will be a drag on the whole procedure. The ones that don't clean their bits completely out of either a concern for speed or efficiency or a lack of proper sanitary procedures will rarely if ever bear the brunt of any criticism. It will always be your fault.

A certain quantity of the offensive smelly material is of vital importance. Which part, where it is (top of the bag, middle, bottom, etc.), how much and whether it is the smelliest part or not are pieces of information you may or may not be made aware of. Some of it will be told to you AND ONLY YOU and/or a few of the aforementioned bit and bob cleaners. Some of the material can never be revealed or shown to the people surrounding you, no matter how bad it smells. Some of the material really should be revealed, but there are lots and lots of reasons not to do so. Some of the material will be shown to everyone but it will be so disgusting that many will blame you for putting it in the bag in the first place.

You have 4 years to sort this bag out (did I mention it's a really big bag?) and there are at least 300 million people counting on you to get the entire procedure exactly right. (it could be argued there are over 6 billion people counting on you, but I don't want you to feel too much pressure) You can have another 4 years but only if you can convince at least 51% of the 300 million people you've done a good enough job thus far.

A couple of other things;

Some people are going to constantly try to put more of the offensive substance into the bag. They WILL succeed to a certain extent and there is NOTHING you can do about it.

Some people will occasionally put a beautiful, shiny bit or bob in the bag, only to have it instantly coated with the substance.

Some people will try and put a nice bit or bob in the bag but it will intentionally get coated with the substance before it even reaches the bag. There is damned little you can do about it, but you are still expected to complete the task and clean up the new bits too.

Some people will deliberately throw large quantities of the substance not at the bag, but at you. And your wife. And your kids. And your extended family. And your dog. You can not stop them. Ever. The people that do this will do it for any number of reasons. Some of them do it because they hate you. Some of them claim they like you, but will scream when a particular bit or bob they like wasn't cleaned properly or wasn't cleaned first. There is a piece of paper in a vault in a building down the street that says they can do this.

Best of luck.

[varelse]

1. 1st rec :P

"You have 4 years to sort this bag out" hell according to some people (Fox News?) you have no time at all - you SHOULD have had this sorted before you were handed the bag.

[katandmoon]

2. Well, if I didn't think I was up to the job then I wouldn't have volunteered in the first place

[A HERETIC I AM]

3. No doubt.

No one held a gun to your head to make you take the job. In fact, you spent millions and millions of dollars in order to get the job.

It's still a bag of smelly stuff. Now that you have had some time to start going through it, one ponders the wisdom of volunteering in the first place.

One ponders why anyone would want the job at all.

[panader0]

4. Papa's got a brand new bag

5th Rec.

[tblue37]

5. K&R

Clever.

[A HERETIC I AM]

6. Thanks!

:toast:

[DonCoquixote]

7. Yeah, you volunteered

But that does not excuse the people who throw stuff at you when you are trying to clean the mess up. Granted, they DO have the right to say why don't you clean this or that, but of course, people extend that to the right to throw a temper tantrum. There are also people who want the bag to be a mess because they think that your failure to fix the mess will lead to them bringing out their Trotsky Red Bag; or their Red State Shopping Bag.

[tomp]

8. senator mccarthy, is that you, back from the dead? nt

[DonCoquixote]

9. Newp

Just merely referring to the fact that both the Marxist (trotsky) and the Right wing (Red State) both have an interest in seeing us fail, because they both think they can use suffering to advance their cause.

[tomp]

10. you know , that's just plain insulting.

that is such broadly brushed portrayal of leftist motivations that it portrays you as disingenuous. anyone who opposes obama must want people to suffer. it couldn't possibly be true that leftists think they have a better way to avoid suffering, could it? does this "us" you speak of include me?

[DonCoquixote]

11. Hello

I did not say liberal, or democrat, or even Green party, I said Marxist, as in card carrying hard left. I did not make that distinction on the right wing, because there are very few actual "moderate" right wingers anymore, and most of them are in the Democratic party anyway. However, I have seen enough screeds here where a hard leftist talks about how eagerly they wish for disaster, so they can rebuild the world in their image. It is a note they have sung since the days if the Y2K bug, where all would be wonderful after civilization fell. As you whether that applied to you, you will have to be the judge of that in the end.

And no, not all people who oppose Obama want people to suffer. I myself have a series of gripes, despite the fact that I voted for him, and have NO REGRETS about that. Cynthia Mckinney is a big step up from Ralph Nader, but I knew McCain had to be kept out of the office at all costs, because frankly a Dead Cat could do a better job of governing this country than the GOP. The only difference between the GOP and the Nazis is that the Nazis could at least make the trains run on time, whereas Bush and Cheney would ensure that no trains ran at all, and that we were bussed to internment camps using a subsidiary of Halliburton.

However, when you have people rant about how they want the system to fail, not caring at all that mayhem will ensue that will ensure many innocent people get hurt, then yes, I do say they want to cause suffering. I am not talking about the fact that many still lionize thugs like Che Guevara or even Uncle Joe Stalin. To humbly quote Eric Hoffer (a true working class intellectual if there ever was one) "Those who would sacrifice a generation to realize an ideal are the enemies of mankind."

[Zodiak]

12. I call BS

There are very very few card-carrying Trotskyites on this board. You have said you have read multiple screeds wanting Obama to fail so a Marxist government can be put in place.

I want links.....give me three, with three different authors.

Otherwise, shut the fuck up with your broad-brushing and your self-professed familiarity with this site.

Christ almighty I wish people would get out of the cold war mind-set.

[DonCoquixote]

13. Of course

If I did that, I could get tombstoned for calling people out, although there was plenty of such come May Day..Don't worry, I will make noise when I see them..in other words, I will NOT shut up.

And there is no cold war mindset, some ideas are just bad no matter when they are applied.