My Family and I will be Homeless in a few Weeks.

[MarianJack]

I'm sorry to be dumping this on you here, but I remember a few years ago when Kephra died, Plaid Adder made the statement that we are a cyber-family and that we need to share our life experiences with each other.

I was out of work from March of last year until January. Just as I got a job, my wife lost hers. We now have 14 months of 1 income where we've been a 2 income family. Our money and savings have simply run out and there is no other place from where to borrow. By the end of the month, I will be in a homeless shelter, my son will be with his grandmother for the summer and my wife will be staying with one of her girlfriends from school and hopefully be working in her store. We are going to present this to our son as a Summer vacation. We will be on the waiting list for Section 8 and since I'll be in a shelter, we will be a priority.

This summer will be awful since my wife and son will be 600 miles away. We will be together again by the end of the summer but, as anyone who reads most of my threads knows, I am a devoted husband and father. We will miss each other very much. We will do what we have to do and we will rise above this. I've always known that many families are 1 or 2 missed checks away from homelessness. I guess that in a way we're fortunate that it took this long.

I can't describe how awful this feels. I've also learned a lot from it. I will make it a point for the rest of my life to spend every day making this up to my wife and son, because there was no small part that my less than stellar money managing skills played in this. However, it's more a case that the money simply RAN OUT. I always thought that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I did not realize until too late that that light was a train heading for US!

Anyway, I just wanted to share this. I ask for nothing other than your feedback and (if so inclined) empathy. It won't be long before I'll have to drop down to being an occasional visitor, but I'll be back. Please keep my wife and son in your thoughts and prayers, and take care of yourselves.

PEACE!

[Danger Mouse]

1. Oh god...sounds like you're in for some tough times.

:hug:
Hang in there.

[MarianJack]

20. Thank You!

:patriot:

[BlueInPhilly]

49. Do you own your home or are you renting?

I think a lot of people have asked that question, because maybe there's something that can be dcne to avoid "homelessness". If you have a mortgage and your interest rate has reset and you couldn't afford the new monthly payment and could not refinance either because your house is now worth less than what you paid for, then you can really talk to the mortgage company.

If you are renting, it's a fixed cost every month that you would have to fork out. Even if you get a reprieve from your landlord, you would eventually need to repay them, and at this juncture, what you need to do is re-build your cashflow.

Sorry about your situation... you have my prayers.

[Delphinus]

2. Oh my.

I feel so badly for you. :hug: I regret things have gotten to this point for you.

I am sending loving energies to you and your family. May you be reunited soon.

[MarianJack]

21. We Will...

...by the end of the summer.

[napoleon_in_rags]

119. Look for live in caregiving positions.

These are godsends when you are homeless. Basically you will live with a disabled person(s), (usually 1 week on 1 week off) usually getting paid minimum wage * 16 hours a day, with food and shelter provided. Its ass rape for normal caregivers, but that's why they will often take people with no experience, and it saves whoever is paying a lot of money. Regardless, it puts a couple thousand in hand a month and you don't need to think where you will sleep and shower before work, getting to work, eating, etc. Its all provided.

Good luck!

[Baby Snooks]

150. He's employed and homeless....

I have to wonder if everyone realizes he is employed. Maybe he doesnt't to give up a job that eventually will get him and his family back on his feet just in order to have a roof over his head other than a shelter.

I know everyone means well. But everyone really needs to read the stories of so many who share the stories and think before they start offering the "perfect solutions." Everyone reads "homeless" and assumes that means "unemployed." It doesn't.

What angers me about this is that he is part of a new face of the homeless in America. Employed and homeless.

[napoleon_in_rags]

157. Well I think my solution is pretty good.

$2000 a month and a place to stay to keep him out of the shelter. Maybe he's making more where he is now, but then he needs to figure out a way to pay the $300 a month for a room while dealing with his other debts then, because he won't be able to keep a job out of the shelter. People who stay there get sick very often.

[Baby Snooks]

164. He seems fine with the solution he has..

I have read his story several times. It may not seem like he has found a solution but he has. He seems on top of things. Even though he may not be real happy about things. That is what he was sharing. What I share at times. What quite a few of us share at times. We are not real happy with things. For ourselves or for others.

Hopefully his being in a shelter and being in a state where there probably aren't 100,000 applicants in front of him will expedite his application for Section 8 subsidy and that is a long-term solution that will work for him and his family. It's not the American dream to be on Section 8. But it is a solution for a growing number of Americans who found the dream had turned into a nightmare.

He is again the new face of the homeless in America. Employed and homeless.

[napoleon_in_rags]

174. Well just hope he can stay out of the shelter.

Its easy to look at it as a real short term solution, but its dark ages stuff. You get these lice and get sick as hell. Almost anything else is preferable.

[LARED]

3. Good luck. - I hope things turn around soon nt

[cali]

4. I'm so damned sorry about all this MJ. It's clear how much you love

your wife and son. I hope you all get through this and emerge stronger than ever. In fact, I hope something happens that curtails your need to separate for the summer.

I'll be thinking of you and your family.

[MarianJack]

22. Thanks, cali!

:patriot:

[Fumesucker]

5. You have my sympathy and my best wishes.

In the early eighties my wife, toddler daughter and I spent three months living in a tent until we could get enough deposit together for an apartment.

Now I'm living with my daughter and would be homeless again but for her and her husband.

Things are tough out there, take care.

[tsuki]

6. I don't mean to be nosy, but in what state do you live. I am hearing

stories like this about Florida, but the press is not reporting it. They don't want to give Florida a "bad" rep.

[angstlessk]

9. click on his file folder icon and you can see he is in Augusta, Maine

I cried last night when they rolled out the 75 pound roll of pictures of people and the families that were affected by the bankruptcies and closings of all the automotive plants. I just cried like I am right now at all the pain, stress and fear people are going through. I have never felt this way about so many people in America, I used to cry for places like Bangladesh.

Good Luck, at times like this I wish I prayed, so I could pray for you.

[tsuki]

14. Thanks. I forgot about the file folder. Daughter lives in Maine.

Like you, I am devastated by all the pain, stress and fear people are going through. I am watching my industry dry up and blow away. Workers that just last year were full time employees are lucky to get 20 hours. You cannot support a family that way.

I am also seeing stress in the children.

I don't ever remember feeling this helpless.

[druidity33]

17. roll of pictures?

I didn't hear about this.

Any more info?

:(

[angstlessk]

36. here is a link to a local story on the banner...75 lbs of pictures!!

http://www.clickondetroit.com/automotive/19439851/detail.html

PS sorry I am so late in replying...I had to go out and just checked the 'mydu' icon.

[druidity33]

131. no prob. thnx for the link. nt

[Johnnyheadstone]

82. I live in South Florida and I can tell you....

that there are currently homeless tent cities popping up on green spaces in between the on ramps for I-95 in Broward County...if anyone is local you can see a pretty large one on the north entrance ramp for Sample Road (heading east on the south side)

I passed it yesterday, I couldn' believe what I was seeing....

[CoffeeCat]

93. Please get pictures if you can...

People need to see this. If we don't, it's hidden and there's too much that is hidden these days.

Thank you if you do get some pictures. I understand if you aren't able to--but if it's possible, you
just might change some lives by posting pictures.

[tsuki]

98. Is it being reported in your area? We see nothing of that here. nt

[Skarbrowe]

107. Oh...I'm driving that way in a few minutes. I stay in the house all

the time. I've given money out a few times in the past to a few of the men and women who stand at the street lights. A friend told me to give them bags of McDonald's hamburgers. ? It is so depressing. My heart goes out to the original poster. I've stopped posting anywhere in the last few months except for this one and one other post on this site a few days ago. To be honest, I am simply overwhelmed. Personally, I'm lucky, so far, with no severe financial or living condition problems in the near future. Good luck to all out there trying to survive.

[Berry Cool]

7. Damn, I'm so sorry for you

and will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

[TexasLady]

8. wow this hurts to hear.DU cares, I can attest to that!

a trillion hugs to you and your family. :hug:

[MarianJack]

23. It's a great community.

I'll be responding to everybody who has answered tonight, I have to go to work now.

PEACE! :patriot:

[lisa58]

10. Wow, that is a lot to deal with - I hope it gets resolved very soon...

...and the time apart from your family is brief.

[angstlessk]

11. You did not mention if you owned your home or not, but look into organizations

that help people in the throws of forclosure. Not private, but community organizations. I read about an organization that kept people in their homes after forclosure and the organization even bought some of the forclosed homes from the bank and resold them back to the original owners at the new devalued loan amount.

I wish there was some magic or god forid!!! governmental agency that could keep your family together until the worst of the storm blows over...hell this is Katrina all over the country...only no stadium for everyone to gather to compare horror stories...

[Frustratedlady]

12. The best of luck to you all.

I can only imagine what a struggle this is for you and your wife, but it appears you have it worked out as best you can to minimize any harm to your family. Good thoughts heading your way that the time apart will be short and the reunion sweet.

[1776Forever]

13. MarianJack - You will make it through. It is a big boat you're in but it will float!

When I lost our home last year in Florida it was one of the worst things to ever happen to me. My middle-son had developed Progressive MS and after we helped him because he had no health insurance and my husband nor I could find a good job we had to move on. So we moved back to my home State of Ohio and my husband who is a Vietnam Retired Military Veteran found out that Ohio is much better for Vets care then Florida ever was. I don't know if you are a Veteran but if you are contact the VA in your area because they have funds to help you out!

We moved into a mobile home and now will be moving again to a lovely home we found in my hometown. I ALWAYS wanted to go back to live there and even though they say "you can't go back" I really feel this is going to be a good thing. The neighborhood where I grew up is still tree lined and peaceful. I think what you should do is think about what makes you feel the best and work towards that goal. Go to Americorps and find out if they have any jobs in that area and check it out:

http://www.americorps.gov/

It is a matter of seeing this as a glass half full and not half empty. You will make it through if you focus on your goals.

Best to you and your family in this stressful time.

:hug:

[BlancheSplanchnik]

91. please let me echo what 1776 forever says here...

MarianJack--You seem to be focused on seeing the wisest way through, and that is the important thing.

Know too, there are many people that will support you when you're not feeling strong or wise.

Thinking of you and your family.

[Kablooie]

15. Boy, this sounds like the Depression to me. My sympathies to you all.

[peacefreak]

16. Good luck, MarianJack.

Things are pretty tough here in Maine. I've been unemployed since last year. I looked into getting Section 8 & was told there is a 2 YEAR waiting period. I hope things move faster for you so you can be re-united with your family. Blessings to you all.

[Baby Snooks]

57. It's tough everywhere....

I've seen both sides of the Two Americas and really had my eyes opened about the disparity not only in terms of money but attitude.

This country has collapsed along with the economy. The haves really don't care about the have-nots.

They buy the $10 sack of groceries in the grocery store and drop it in the red barrel for the food bank and then threaten to call the police on the homeless person asking for $1 to get something to eat at Jack-in-the-Box because they are homeless and don't qualify for food from the food pantry and the "soup kitchen" is on the other side of town.

And it's the same with those losing their jobs and their homes. People wish them luck. Hope they find a job. Commenting on how bad it is for everyone. Blaming the Republicans of course.

And then they jump in their new BMW to go buy the latest video game for the kids and pick up $100 worth of pizzas because they're too tired to cook despite the $1,000 worth of food in the Sub-Zero they bought at the grocery store that afternoon and on the way of course reflect on how good life is. And they think about the $10 sack of groceries they bought as well. And feel so good that they helped someone keep food on the table. And then of course threaten to call the police on the homeless person asking for $1 to get to the food pantry in the morning.

Who of course may get the $1 from someone else. And then find out when they get to the food pantry that because they are homeless they don't qualify but can get something to eat at the "soup kitchen" next door but it is now closed but they can come back the following day and get something to eat. And of course are not given a voucher for the bus to get back to the freeway underpass on the other side of town. Or a voucher to get back the following day to get something to eat at the "soup kitchen."

Told all of this by a volunteer wearing Prada and flashing a 40 carat diamond ring and irritated that she is late for her late lunch at the country club.

Welcome to the two Americas.

[OmahaBlueDog]

147. Dear Baby Snooks - That post would make a brilliant "pass it forward e-mail"

You should send it as "respond to all" the next time a well-meaning friend or relative sends you one of those "Obama is really from Kenya" e-mails.

Thanks for that

[deaniac21]

186. When you paint with a brsh that broad it sure doesn't take long

to get finished!

[Dappleganger]

18. Hang in there, MarianJack

Thank you for sharing this, I would imagine that is very hard. Please, please don't blame yourself for circumstances that were clearly beyond your control. Your family will be ok, this is just a temporary change of address for you all. It's especially great to know your son has a place for the summer with his grandmother--he is very lucky!

Is moving to another state an option for you? PA may be something to look into, as we are also out of work (we're in FL) and there are companies hiring up there. We are still living on 1st tier savings but not sure how long that will last. Dh goes to Indiana on Sunday for a job interview in Bloomington, which we are praying will be offered to him. He's been out of work since early March but looking for work since mid-Jan. We are still trying to stay hopeful for the sake of the kids (we have four, three are teens).

Just remember that this recession won't last forever but you aren't the only one--I really hope and pray that soon you will all be reunited together again.

:pals:

[Christa]

19. I am so sorry

:hug:

I hope it will get better, soon :hug:

[bdamomma]

24. thank you for sharing your story with us, we will be here for you

whenever you have a chance to post, will keep your wife and son in my thoughts, there will be a light at the end of tunnel.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

25. Oh dear...

I am so sorry for you.

Your situation is horrible and I hope you can keep us informed (as best you can) as to your progress.

Every month we do a balancing act with our money. It is like a very scary game of Monopoly.

I hope your stay at the shelter will be short and that you will be reunited with your wife and son ASAP. :pals:

[bertman]

26. I hope things soon change for the better for you and your family, MarianJack.

[Solly Mack]

27. I sure do hate that. I hope for the best for you and your family.

I'm so sorry. ((((())))))

[mnhtnbb]

28. I am so sorry your family is having to go through this. Hope your Section 8

comes through quickly. We are holding good thoughts for all of you.

:hug:

[roody]

29. I hope your son loves his summer.

A summer at Grandmas would have been heaven for me as a child.

[sinkingfeeling]

30. I'm very sorry for your situation.

[redwitch]

31. I am so sorry you are going through this.

":I always thought that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I did not realize until too late that that light was a train heading for US!:


My heart breaks for you and your family. Hubby and I also find ourselves in dire circumstances but so far we haven't gone down for the third time. Although we have made some mistakes the lousy economy has been largely to blame and we are behind on all our bills. Neither of us sleeps very well and when I do sleep the nightmares are pretty awful.

I will keep you all in my thoughts and pray for a better future for all of us. Don't give up, you will get through this!

:hug:

[The Hope Mobile]

32. You're renting then? Have you told your landlord?

If you own your home you may have more time than you realize. We're far behind on our mortgage but its actually the mortgage company that's holding things up and trying to renegotiate to keep us in. Prayers for you and your family. I hope things turn around somehow in the next couple of weeks. I hope your wife finds work.

[lazyriver]

33. From one Mainer to another, I'll be thinking of you and your family.

It wouldn't take all that much misfortune for my wife and I to be in the same situation but, fortunately, we have no children. Her job (and 10 others at the company)went overseas last summer but she was lucky enough (and busted her tail) to find another one after only a couple months. It was for less pay but we tightened up our budget and scraped by. Then I was forced to take a 10% pay cut two weeks after learning I would have to cough up another $100/month contribution for my health plan. Several unforseen expenses topped by a $1200 repair to keep my car on the road cleaned out the last of the savings and well, now we can't absorb another surprise. I wish I could offer you some help somehow but all can do is share the hope I cling to that things will start to turn around for us all soon. Your love for your family will go a long way in getting through the tough times. Keep your head up and know that someone north of Bangor is pulling for you.

Peace and better days,
LR

[grace0418]

34. I'm so sorry MarianJack. I will be thinking of you and hoping for the best.

It seems like most of us are just a few misfortunes away from total ruin. I hope things turn around soon. Until then, big hugs. :hug:

[renate]

35. I'm so sorry

How smart of you to talk about this with your son as a summer vacation!

I'm glad you have a plan and that you're keeping the end result--being reunited with your wife and son--in mind to help you get through the stuff that will be happening first. I hope that helps.

It must seem so unreal. I'm really sorry. :hug:

[lumberjack_jeff]

37. You touched on an interesting point

Empathy and advice are not always mutually exclusive.

I get a lot of grief because I think that money management (training? help? advice?) is one of the things most needed by families seeking public aid, and I feel that it should be part of the aid package.

Good luck, I'm sorry and I hope that your situation improves. Since you feel that money management played a role in getting your family to this point, (an phenomenon that I think is more the norm than most people will admit) I recommend the book "your money or your life" by Vicki Robin. It was an epiphany to me.

[county worker]

43. I agree with you but money management is not very exciting when you don't have the money to live on.

I have a very good money management system but it works because I have enough money to pay everything. If that should ever change the bills will still be there but the income won't. What is needed more than the ability to manage money is the ability to not buy things that you can't afford.

[bkkyosemite]

74. There are those with so little money or a low fixed income that managing it is not an issue either

is buying things you don't need as there is never enough money to do either one of those things.

[lumberjack_jeff]

97. There's a strong case to be made that when you're poor like me...

... you need to be doubly skilled at money management.

"Money management" for purposes of this discussion isn't just when to hire a lawyer or which brokerage to use. It's also knowing that 30 cents of TVP reconstitutes to the equivalent of a $2.69 pound of hamburger, and has no fat and the same protein.

I don't agree that confronting your mistakes is "revictimizing".

The OP believes/acknowledges that some of his decisions played a role in subsequent events. Willingness to learn from the past makes a person less likely to suffer in the future.

IMHO, either you own your life or it owns you. Misfortune happens to everyone, but each day we are faced with decisions which will either make the situation better or worse. It's foolish to assume that people (including ourselves) only make the positive choice. I've made plenty of financial mistakes, but I've also avoided some.

[Baby Snooks]

73. What I don't like about this...

I've had the bottom fall out twice. Both times the result of a stalking. The effects of post traumatic stress syndrome, not to mention the ongoing promises of attorneys that they would do something but never did, limited my ability to work and earn a living so I lived off capital. Not to mention the fact the stalkings involved my being harassed in the workplace as well. So I stopped working. To avoid the harassment. I finally put call interceptors on my lines. You had to have access codes to call me. The reality of stalking is much different than the public perception of it. It is, as Linden Gross and Gavin de Becker put it, life-destroying.

Both times when everything was gone I was told I didn't manage my money well and so I brought it on myself. Nothing like being revictimized. I guess I brought the stalkings on myself as well. We all bring it on ourselves in this country. No one ever really considered the stalking. Apparently it was just a "personal problem" and nothing more.

You do what you can do. Suddenly the income isn't there. Neither is the capital that produced the income. It's just gone.

The same thing happens when you depend on two incomes and suddenly there is only one. Or you simply only have one income and suddenly it's gone. But how convenient it is to tell somjeone they simply didn't know how to manage their money. And revictimize them.

In my case the first time I was defrauded by a bank and the second time I was defrauded by a brokerage. I could have sued. But of course when you have no money, you have no lawsuit. The way America works.

I heard the same thing with regard to the people who invested with Bernie Madoff. They should have known better. They should have handled their own money. They should have done this. They should have done that.

Never mind they were ripped off. The way I was. The way millions are each year in this country. We all depend on someone else to manage our money. Even if it's just depositing the check in the checking account. The bank loses money, they raise the fees to cover the losses. That's one way everyone is ripped off. Even the perfect ones among us who tell the rest of us we need to learn how to manage our money.

What is it about people in this country that find it acceptable to blame victims for being victims?

This poor man has lost everything. And not because he didn't try to hold on to everything the way quite a few of us do.

And suddenly he just needs to learn how to manage his money better?

[earth mom]

77. FYI-that book-Your money or your life-is about freeing yourself from the rat race.

Not about money management and investing and all that bullshit.

[Baby Snooks]

83. I could write a book myself

I was lucky and always avoided the rat race. I just don't have the predatory instincts I guess.

[northernlights]

95. boy do I hear you, Baby Snooks

My "stalker" was my new adjacent condo neighbor, a registered sex offender. In Massachusetts back in 2000, they protected their identities. The cops' hands were tied. He (and his merry gang of thugs) harrassed me 24x7 for 3 years. I had to get out of town to be able to sleep again.

Since then, I've been forced to live off capital while I tried to get my feet back under me again.

In the meantime, over the past 7 years I've been re-victimized by neighbors, contractors, a realtor, a former colleague, an employer, a university, you name it.

Every single light at the end of the tunnel has turned into a train coming the other way. Every effing one of them. And it's always "my fault." Always. Bull. fucking. shit. Our society has absolutely, completely fallen apart.

It's just a matter of time before I'll end up living in my car with my critters.

[Baby Snooks]

100. I'm so sorry it happened to you....

I wouldn't wish what happened to me on my worst enemy. But you know what? I would wish it on a long list of former friends who found it easier to dismiss what was happening on the basis of it just being a "personal problem" that "I" needed to deal with than the reality - everyone wants to believe they are in control of their lives. Stalking victims serve as a reminder that in fact we are not. In a split second, that control is taken from you.

And the revictimization is common for all of us. Once you become prey, every predator on the face of the earth picks up the scent.

Quite a few others are joining us as a result of having lost their jobs and their homes and watching everything they had just vanish. They, too, serve as a reminder that in fact none of us are in control of our lives. So we blame them for becoming victims. Believing somehow that doing so will somehow protect us from becoming victims. They should have done this, they should have done that. The way we did. The way we do.

We, after all, are obviously in control of our lives. We are still working. We are still doing well. They just need to find another job and manage their money better. Like we have. We have control of our lives. That is why our lives are so perfect. Until in a split second something happens that we in fact have no control over and we find our lives are not so perfect and everything is gone. That the control we thought we had is gone as well. Taken from us. In a split second.

One of those former friends called me recently after almost 15 years. She lost everything to Bernie Madoff. She called to apologize. She realized all these years later that in fact sometimes things happen we have no control over. She called me to apologize but she also called to see if she could borrow money. She had no idea I no longer had money. She never did pay me back what she borrowed almost 20 years ago. She is still a former friend. And always will be. She didn't really call me to apologize. She called me to see if she could borrow money.

You go on. You learn not to trust so easily. You learn not to believe in people so easily. And if you're lucky, you learn not to become like everyone else and blame victims for becoming victims.

[MarianJack]

184. Thank You for all of your support!

I marvel at your resiliancy!

PEACE!

[Grinchie]

175. The book that triggered my Epiphany was "Everybody Wants Your Money"

Which is excellant in the expose of the fraud committed upon Americans by the Financial Planners, Banks, Car Dealers, Real Estate Developers, etc..

It was all backed up in "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki, which drives the concepts of Liability vs Weatlh home, and opens your eyes on how to actually value things properly.

Even though I found these books several years after my Bankruptcy, the experience was still fresh in my mind and saw all of the described scenarios in the books were related almost verbatim to what I had experienced personally.

I now value knowledge about the economy more highly than any other skill (Except maybe squaring a timber with a broadaxe) and follow the trends in the market very closely.

It is my belief that we have quite a ways to go before things get better, and it is imnperitive to remain liquid to be able to purchase items of true value as the decline continues. My goal is to expand while the unprepared contract, but the writing on the wall shows Commercial Real Estate getting ready to be the next big story. They have attempted to hide it for almost two years now, but the Bankruptcy of General Growath, plus the facts that millions of square feet of prime industrial real estate sits idle in the SF Bay Area, listed for sale, lease, whatever, that the next show to drop is going to be pretty severe.

Then the fact that the money supply has grown by 30% in the last two years means inflation will arrive in the near future, since we really aren't producing much of anything that Americans can use, so the goods and services are going to be scarce when the flood of money arrives, and people need to resupply the pantry with food and replace worn out equipment.

These are amzing times we live in, and I'm actually quite happy to be alive to experience it. The challenges ahead are enormous.

[lumberjack_jeff]

187. I mostly agree.

Although I prefer a sawmill to a broadaxe. :hi:

If there is one thing that I wish people could internalize is that "wealth" does not equal "high income". Income has a very indirect relationship to wealth, and people ignore the latter, thinking that the former will take care of it.

Amy Dacyczyn, in the tightwad gazette had a great method of evaluating different activities. She calculated the hourly wage for a number of frugal activities. She found that after subtracting taxes and work related expenses, she could make as much money staying home and using that time to economize as she could by working outside the home. Most of these activities also increased their wealth far more than simply making another buck in the workplace.

[myrna minx]

38. Your experience is breaking my heart. Hang in there.

My best wishes to you and your wonderful family. :hug:

[Joanne98]

39. Bring back Hoovervilles. At least familes can stay together.

[Butch350]

40. Just focus on a better day in the future - and soon it will arrive.

[eggplant]

41. You have my deepest sympathies, MJ

Today is my one-month anniversary of being out of work. We're down from a single income to nothing. We're on the beginning of your journey. We went through this in 2001, when I lost my job for about nine months. I, too, am an optimist and feel that eventually we'll get to the light at the end of the tunnel, but your story is a most cautionary one.

I wish you and your family nothing but the best of luck, the best of health, and the best of opportunities to come. You already have love, and that is worth more than the rest of it combined. Try to remember that at least once every day. In the meantime, I'll be thinking about you.

[county worker]

42. I don't think you should beat yourself over the head for this. It could happen to any one of us.

When things get better you will have grown some for having gone through this. I was homeless for a while also. Don't give up hope and if you are so inclined, look up the ideas about turning things over to a higher power or positive thinking or the law of attraction or "The Secret." I know a lot of people will not agree with them, but it sure works for me.

[PassingFair]

44. You're just part of the first wave, MJ....

There are legions more to follow
before we are all beaten like curs
in the "new economy".

I'm so sorry, but you will have
had a headstart on developing
coping mechanisms.

I hope you will be together again
soon....can't you find a shelter
close to where your wife will be
living?

[Grinchie]

176. Exactly, a head start was a good thing for me.

The thing I learned years ago when the Software Industry disappeared almost overnight, is that emotions are a hazard that clouds judgement. Try to approach everything like a well planned business endeavor. Look at the pros and cons, do a formal Business Plan when appropriate, and by all means run the numbers and omit nothing, such as paperclips, office supplies, cost of commute, etc.

When one does a meaningful cost benefit analysis, most likely it will reveal that the deal is not right and you need to walk away. This is especially true with contracts, and I recomend practicing with every item that has a Eula, licensing agreement or contract and actually take the time to read and understand the fine print.

When one realizes that ever contract offered by a Cell Phone is full of caveats that basically forfeits your rights, voluntarily at that, you'll think twice about dealing with that company.

Not to mention the fact that Cell Phones transmit microwave radiation that goes straight through your brain, thigh or sex organs, then you start to think twice about the so called "Convenience" sold to us by corporate marketers.

[secondwind]

45. Am very sorry to hear about this. You sound like a good person. Your wife and

son are very lucky to have you as their "top dog".

Try to take it one day at a time, and before you know it, you will be moving into your new digs!!!

God bless you and your family.

:hug:

[CrispyQ]

46. I'm so sorry for your difficult times.

I fear we are going to hear similar stories again & again before things get better. I hope you are able to recover from this in good time. Good luck. :hug:

[asjr]

47. You WILL get through this MJ. It

is a crime that it had to happen at all. I become quite angry when I read about those who have lost jobs and houses. I am old enough to remember the Great Depression and going through it with my parents. The Republicans were at fault then, and are at fault now. Their greed and deregulation were out there in plain sight. It is so amazing to me that NO ONE seemed inclined to bring it out in the open and say STOP, right now. FDR saved us, but Obama should not be saddled with having to save us.

[firehorse]

48. calling it a vacation for your son

I'm 42, and I've lived with my partner for the last 9 years. He's 4 years younger than me.

While he was growing up, every time his family had problems, they dropped him off at a relative's house and called it a vacation.

This made him grow up into an adult that could not trust his feelings that were telling him one thing, and his parents that were telling him something conflicting with his feelings. He struggles with this today. Also "vacation" for him now means "abandonment".

Its been a struggle for him as an adult to trust me that when we go on vacation ... that its a fun thing. He's not going to come home to an empty house. I'm not going to abandon him in the process. I'm not going to tell him we are going to the carribean but instead take him to an over burdoned relative's house. He's 38, and logically he knows that we are going on a fun vacation, but the emotional body memory is still deep inside him. He's hard wired now, vacation means stress, anxiety, and parental abandonment but worse than that, an inability to trust his own feelings.


Good luck to you,


firehorse

[mnhtnbb]

66. This is an important post. Age of your son is critical in understanding

that he's not being abandoned and that he will have someone to love and protect him while
you and your wife struggle through this summer.

[truedelphi]

68. in reading this it occurs to me that it is wonderful that you understand what

Is making him tick. He is one lucky man.

[MarianJack]

153. Thank You firehorse.

My son will have fun with his grandmother and cousins, aunts & uncles who love (and spoil) him.

My wife will be seeing him every few days as she'll be in Philly & our son in Allentown.

I'll be in the shelter as we're on a wait list for Section 8. With me in a shelter, we'll be more of a priority.

My best thoughts and wishes for you and your partner.

PEACE!

[lpbk2713]

50. Fuck Bush, Cheney and all the other co-conspirators.

I feel for you and hope somehow things works out for you and your family.

But while you and millions of others suffer, Bush, Cheney and all their minions are
sitting back counting their money and living large while they still spin lies to the
media and whoever else they can get to listen. If there is such a thing as justice
they will be held accountable for their unprecedented large scale greed and corruption.

[grasswire]

51. do not blame yourself

Many people will consider you a victim of a ruthless system. It isn't your fault that work is not available. Millions of Americans are at crunch time. Hold your head up.

I am worried about your place on a list for section 8 housing. Did they tell you how many months it would be until you are likely to get assistance?

Have you tried everything to get help to stay together? Salvation Army? Catholic charities?

[Blaze Diem]

52. DU FRIENDS NEEDED**Perhaps DU can do something to publish your story as

it takes place. Keep a daily journal my friend, post to us if you have weekly access to the internet.
Your story may give you the funds to rebuild your family's life.

DU is your home also. You have friends here that you could not find anywhere else.
Perhaps in this diverse group there exists someone who has the expertise to move your experience to a positive outcome.

I for one, would pay to read your words. This situation is quite common in our would today.
Please tell it.
Let us know what you need.
Please do not lose touch with us.

Any Other DUers willing to assist in this direction?

[elizfeelinggreat]

61. Yes

I think that is a wonderful idea.
I can't send much but would like to help in my own small way.

[ejbr]

135. I'm game...n/t

[MarianJack]

154. I'll Keep you all posted.

My wife and I believe (no, we KNOW) that this will have a happy ending.

[grasswire]

53. my family member in Maine has to leave his family this week

....he's going 3,000 miles away where his mother lives and where there is work available. He's at the end of his rope; there is no work to be found. He walked 28 miles the other day to see his little daughters for the last time before he boards the Amtrak. He drank out of a lake along the way; his knees gave out and he had to sit alongside the road for a spell. He has nothing left.

How is this not a depression?

How long before American mothers are writing Michelle Obama (as they did Eleanor Roosevelt) to beg for any castoff clothing or for a blanket for their babies?

[Blaze Diem]

60. I have not heard ONE SINGLE MENTION of the rising numbers of homeless from our Government.

Trillions for banks & millions for the CEO bonuses.

American families break, bleed, separate, hurt.
Meanwhile our Congress enjoys fine health care, fine dining, travel, and privilege yet speaks not even a whisper of the increasing numbers of American citizens who have no where to lay their head at night, due directly to the inept policies these privileged politicians voted into law.

Its time these stories of pain & loss are made to stand face to face with those who created such an American tragedy.

Can we create a documentary beginning with some of our own?
Are there any DUers who are connected to this kind of project?
Can we organize such a powerful statement?

DU is diverse, powerful and talented.
Its time we take on this issue.

[GreenPartyVoter]

143. Yes, it's a silent epidemic isn't it?

[democrank]

54. Try to keep your chin up, MJ.

My thoughts will be with you and your family. Stay strong.

If I may...I was homeless as a child (back in the 50`s) and then again about a decade ago when an illness took everything I had, including my home. It was devastating. Crushing. But, good came of it. Losing everything made me even more certain than I already was, that nothing...nothing...meant more to me than my beloved children. I think we`re stronger today because of it.

Good luck to you and bless your precious son.

[Parker CA]

55. Would you be able to stay in your current residence through the summer if you were able to support

the rent, or are there other issues beyond the rent alone? I don't mean to pry, just trying to get a sense of how much in the hole each month you're ending up and what you'd need to keep you there through the summer.

[Wetzelbill]

56. Best of luck

You're a helluva person and I know you'll tough it out and be back together in a home with your family soon enough. :hug:

[babylonsister]

58. I'm so sorry, MJ.

I do know how much you cherish your family. Here's hoping you'll all be back together soon. :hug:

[Javaman]

59. I wish I had someone or some sort of resource to help you out

but my contacts in the northeast are all gone.

Damn it. I really wish there was some way I could help you out. Work is getting slime down here in texas as well.

What is your field?

Peace.

[Subdivisions]

72. I am in Texas too and would love to help but don't know how. I'm so

sorry for you predicament, MJ, and I wish you all the best. Just stay strong for your son and your wife.

[aikoaiko]

62. For those not in the same boat, I bet a lot of us are close (just 1 or 2 paychecks away)

For me, 4.5 years of chronic illnesses, treatments, tests and developmental/occupational therapies for my wife and child are pushing us to the edge. If I lost my job, I'd probably send my wife and kid to live her mother and head off to Iraq as a contractor.

[Blaze Diem]

63. Who is the most powerful group we know that can make some noise NOW to show the true face

of this tragedy to the American public, & those in DC right now.
It has to be an 'in your face America" loud, visual and unrelenting statement and it needs to be brought to light beginning now.

I have few to zero connections to any such groups.
Any DUers with ideas please help. Where do we start?
Thanks
Blaze

[Baby Snooks]

69. The churches should...

The churches in this country which operate most of the assistance organizations should be banging the pots and pans as Molly Ivins would say. But aren't. Despite the fact they are no longer able to cover it all. They are running low on funds to provide rental and mortgage assistance and funds to buy food from the food banks. And still they say nothing. As more and more need assistance, they have less and less funding to help. And still they say nothing.

What a shameful nation we are. Truly.

[DollyM]

118. giving is way down in churches . . .

everyone is strapped anymore. Giving is way down at our church too because there are just too many people without jobs here. Who do you ask for more money when they are out of money too? I swallowed my pride and went and applied for food stamps the other day because we are flat broke. My husband lost his job over a year ago and has worked sporadically ever since. He found full time work in August and then was let go in October when he ended up in the hospital. Pretty crappy huh! Anyway, I found out that our youth minister at church, who has a wife and two small children has also went and applied for food stamps because there are less funds coming into the church offering in which to pay him. I have never seen it so bad and honestly, for the first time, don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. For us it is the medical issue as my husband is diabetic and we found out that we will be cut off our medical cards at the end of the month because our son turns 19 which is the only way you can get medical help here, if you have a "child" in the home. I am dissapointed that Obama does not see that we need medical care NOW whether we have a child or not. Apparently in America once you turn 19 you are no longer considered worthy of medical care.

We are facing the same thing I am afraid. I have already told my husband if he can't find work soon he will have to go back and move in with his family in California and my son and I will move in with my elderly mother and rent out our house to bring in some cash. This great economy is splitting up families at increasing rate. where is it going to end?

[AngryOldDem]

140. All charities ARE clanging the pots and pans.

But contributions, financial and otherwise, are off, because people just don't have it to give anymore. I work at such an organization, and quite frankly, I'm irritated at your comment. We can't help it if we ask and everyone says, "Sorry, can't afford it." What do you want us to do? Grant money, federal assistance, etc., are also all down.

Churches also have monthly collections for their assistance societies, such as St. Vincent de Paul, and those funds are down as well. Parishes in "wealthier" communities, by the way, often help those in poorer locations that otherwise would have **no** means to help their neighbors. That means that they are doubly stretched to the max.

Please don't pile on the people and organizations that are breaking their backs to provide whatever help they can. It is frustrating, depressing, and heartbreaking to tell those who need help that you can't give them all that they need, or can't give them anything whatsoever. I know -- I've had to do that. And I have sat and brainstormed with them to think of other sources of financial assistance. Trust me -- when I have told people that we just can't help with rent, or can only pay so much toward their utility bill, I have felt like absolute shit. This country should not be seeing the numbers of people being forced into poverty; people should be assured of a decent standard of living. Not opulent, mind you; just decent. But they're not. And we just can't keep up with the need. We're sorry about that.

If you have it to give, then by all means drop off a contribution at your nearest church. It will be grateful to you for it. If I have taken your comments the wrong way, my apologies. But I feel like we get it from all sides anymore, and it's not helping our work or our mission.

[Baby Snooks]

149. Bang 'em don't clang 'em...

The churches should be screaming at Washington. Money for Bibles in Africa in the guise of AIDS funding from the previous administration but no money for food and rent in America from this administration?

I am sorry if you're irritated at my comment. I am sorrier that you don't understand it.

Does Obama think everyone is eligible for unemployment and that extending benefits was all he needed to do?

As I've said I've seen both sides of America. I actually helped an organization get started here years ago which the new director didn't know and didn't care about when I pointed it out when she told me they couldn't help me because they didn't help people who were "unemployed" after I questioned the volunteer and "unemployed" to her was anyone who didn't have a regular paycheck or not receiving unemployment. I needed to just get a job. I called the minister of the church that is their main source of funding. Who remembered me and of course was horrified that I even needed help. He called her. She called me. The next day. Couldn't have been nicer. My lights had already been cut off. They were turned back on a couple of hours later but only because I checked around the day before when I came home in desperation and found I knew someone on the board of the utility foundation which also had told me they couldn't help me and she arranged for me to have another week.

And she sent me a check to cover it. I barely knew her. She was, she said, so stunned. I used to do a lot for people. I shouldn't be where I am. But here I am. So much for friends. It's been total strangers for the most part who have helped me.

Been there, done this on both sides. And the woman with the 40 carat diamond ring by the way is real. It's not 40 carats but it's big and it's not the thing to wear when volunteering. I suspect she irritates the other volunteers as well. Just not appropriate for someone dripping in diamonds to tell someone they cannot help them. Her husband is a major benefactor of the church that is this organization's main source of funding. I asked finally. She just sort of showed up. They of course have to be politically correct. I understand that. But they don't have to be politically correct politically. They may be funded by churches but they have a legitimate voice. And they don't use it.

One of the directors of another organization suggested I use mine. She is paid a salary to use hers. Leaves a bad taste.

Interesting that you mention St. Vincent's Society. They came last month. I was short on the rent. I never heard back from them. I have no idea why. I called and left a message. Never heard back. My godmother was one of the "reorganizers" of the society for the diocese years ago when it had become disorganized. She would be as angry as I was. They just simply never called me back. That leaves a bad taste as well.

Obama doesn't seem to understand the problem. The churches need to be calling and telling him the problem. And banging the pots and pans.

[southerncrone]

123. This sounds like a job for Michael Moore. I have no contact w/him, but if

someone here does, I think he's the one to get this out in the open. Obviously our MSM won't do the job.

[Lorien]

133. I'm there. No job and the bank just froze my equity line that was keeping me

afloat. I lost all of my savings to medical bills over the past 12 years and my health has gotten much worse of late. It's fucking terrifying. :-(

[Soylent Brice]

64. stay strong. you and your family will make it through to better times.

good luck to you and your family.

[Vehl]

65. im so sorry to hear this....but stay strong

:hug:

my heart goes out to you.
don't give up hope, im sure better times are ahead and that you will be able to pot this behind soon.
my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[earcandle]

67. What will help you all is the love you have for each other. This will work out.

This is good management.  And don't blame yourself for
anything.
Just keep your eye on the ball, which is to get re-employed
and to
get back together.

Bless you all.  And thanks for dealing with it like civilized
people.

[truedelphi]

70. You might not have handled money perfectly - but the thirty years of

Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush and now Obama economics. To politicians, it is important that economic relief is more money for bankers and "bubble economies" at the same time that the real job base gets shipped out from under us is the culprit here. No family should have a member without work for so many months. We need jobs, not more monies offered AIG to give to Goldman Sachs.

You have my deepest sympathy. I offer my prayers for you and your family.

[LostinVA]

71. Call up your CongressCritter -- I'm serious

There was a huge article on cnn.com a few weeks saying that often doing this can get you help and money you didn't know was available, and can buy you enough time. Please, just try it.

Take care.

:pals:

[MarianJack]

151. I'm Going to do that tomorrow.

Thank you for the idea! :patriot:

[rucognizant]

180. Good!

Although I disapprove of many of their votes in Congress, the Maine Senators have been helpful to me personally ( And for the last 5 years, I regularly call and yell, raging Granny style, at their aids!) Congressman Pingree, grew up next door to Paul Wellstone, and he was her political mentor, I believe you are in her 1st. district.
Money managing..............Phaw! Don't beat yourself up over that.........It's expensive to live here. The basic MUST PAY bills are JUST TOO HIGH compared to wages! When I was a young married in Phila., economic insufficiency only lasted until the end of the week 'till payday. Now it just goes on & on................Just 2 years ago, if I ran short before SS payday, I could scrounge $30. or so from my change jar, NOW it is perpetually EMPTY!
My personal rant this week is Social Security. No raise for the next 2 years,...........THEY say inflation is low; THEY, ( the trustees of the SS account) being an assortment of ex cops, secret service, a mortician.........a few holdovers from Clinton but most put in place by , "Heck of a job Brownie" bush!
HA! Instant mashed potatos........$1.39 last year $2.39 THIS year, a 100% cost increase, if THAT isn't inflation I don't know WHAT IS.( Not like I am eating steak!)
I am already short $200. per every month now. I had to buy a shower curtain lining............( mine has 3 holes in it) Local store wanted $8.00, so I went to the $ store in Ellsworth, paid just under $3.00. Last liner I bought DID cost ONE DOLLAR at the DOLLAR store. .05c tax! in Portland, 9 years NINE years ago on CLintons'watch!
Can you pick up any extra work from the MAine Dems. since you are in Augusta? I did a 1 month stint collecting voter histories, which pay helped a bit. Thank you Howard Dean for the 50 states initiative. Or the Census? They don't seem to have advertised this time. That was a good gig for us older folks out on the coast, didn't last long but paid well.
Hang in there.KARMA is on your side!

[LostinVA]

185. I don't know if it will work, but teh CNN article said it has for many people

They just don't think about it -- they can deal with the bank, or whomever, and get you fast-tracked into programs and cut through paperwork. It's worth a shot, anyway.

Good luck!

[firehorse]

75. What would happen if you all stay put?

I live in NYC, and the only way you can get kicked out of a place is if the marshall shows up with a court odered eviction. It can take months to years for an eviction to be processed through the court system.

There are only a few marshalls and a whole lot of evictions. Even when the judge orders it, it can still take months for the marshall to show up.

If I was in this situation, I'd put all the stuff I care about in storage, but would still live in the place till I officially got handed an eviction notice, in the meantime trying to get work and look for a new place.

[Divine Discontent]

81. good points! and my best to the OP. God bless us all, such tough times ahead or currently going on

:hug:

[rucognizant]

181. Excellant point!

I happen to know in Maine it isn't easy to evict a person from a rental. Back in '94 I had a con-man tenant in my house, and I COULDN"T AFFORD to evict him, the Maine laws are so strict. I was lucky he left on his own, because I was prepared to move in ( to my own home ) with him if he didn't go. I never DID collect his 12 months of rent...............I won the small claims case BUT he declared bankruptcy, back when it was easier to do.

[snappyturtle]

76. Like everyone else, I too am sorry to hear your news. Best to you and

your family. May the light at the end of the tunnel show up sooner and brighter than expected. :hug:

[Utopian Leftist]

78. What a heartbreaking story!

My prayers and best wishes go out to you and your family today.

I was homeless 25 years ago when my parents found out I'm gay and tossed me out like so much trash. I couldn't get student loans because they made too much money and I had been dependent on them. I lived in my car and got by on the kindness of strangers until someone finally took mercy on me and gave me a decent job. It left scars but it has also shaped the person I am today and made me aware of the need to always be grateful for what I do have, because it can be taken away at any time by the heartlessness of the American people.

I hope and pray that stories like yours will awaken more people to the utter devastation that "rugged individualism" has wreaked upon our culture.

[rucognizant]

182. Don't you mean ...............

The MYTH of rugged individualism? In my 70 years I have never witnessed such a one size fits all, propagndized, lemming massed, population in this country as I see today.
If you are TRULY a rugged individual, you will be shunned and penalized for it!

[emilyg]

79. I am so sorry. We were

in your shoes many years ago.

[Beach Cat]

80. Homeless

Are there any social service agencies that can help you out? 
You say you will be in a homeless shelter.  What help and
support do they offer?

[Mnemosyne]

84. Best wishes for you and your family, MJ.

:hug:

[backtoblue]

85. Please take care and I wish you and your family good times ahead.

I have been homeless before and it will make you a stronger, kinder, and more determined person. I was a teenager and didn't have to worry about taking care of a family, so my heart goes out to you because it's hard enough to take care of oneself when homeless.

Please PM me if there is anything that you need.(sadly I cannot offer alot, but I am resourceful and might be able to send your family some necessities.):grouphug:

[madrchsod]

86. in the 80`s my family had to move in with my parents for a year

someone asked my dad what he thought about having his son and family move in...

my dad replied "that`s what people had to do in the 30`s"

hang in there..you never know what tomorrow will bring.

[Fire1]

87. MJ, I'm a strong believer in prayer. You, your family and

everyone on this board and in this world who is suffering are forever in my prayers. Bless you, my friend, and keep the faith. You don't see it now, but believe it or not, it could be worse.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

88. oh dearest god. i am very very sorry to hear about this.

all my love to you.

[earth mom]

89. So sorry to hear what you are going through!

Been close to homeless myself. Years back we had to pawn just about everything we owned of value to get a place we could afford. It was a scary, uncertain time followed by years of living on the edge.

Things eventually turned around for us, but the experience of those long grinding years really heightened my awareness of the class war in this country.

So don't blame yourself.

It's the bastard politicians on BOTH sides of the aisle in Washington DC who are at fault and who have spent years and years at the bidding of the rich, corporate america, banks/Wall Street at the expense of the middle class and working class. :grr:

[earcandle]

172. this is worth addressing.

[knitter4democracy]

90. If you were closer, I'd try to help you figure out a way.

I've got a guest bedroom and two kids your son could play with. Surely there are friends who would take you guys in until you're back on your feet. Don't be afraid to ask.

[Ilsa]

92. You are so far away. I wish I could help.

I hate that you and your family are going to be separated like this. I hate what this economy has done to good people and especially you.

I'm sorry your savings are gone. That really sucks. I hope you and your wife can find other employment for her to help you two get back on your feet. Please, even consider coming to live here in Hell, uh, I mean Texas. I don't think our unemployment is as bad as in other places. I know it isn't home, but it's bearable, most of the time, and some loving Democrats are always welcome here.

Try to get back to us as often as you can to let us know how you are doing.

I'll be hoping for the best for your family and all the other unemployed.

[Cha]

94. Hang tough, MJ and

here's to your family all being under the same roof, ASAP.:grouphug:

[BallardWA]

96. Do you have a PayPal account?

I may not have much, but I can send something to it. I think most of us here can. Please let us know if there is a direct way to help. My prayers are with you and yours.

[MarianJack]

158. I don't know if this is permitted, but...

...my PayPal account is [e-mail].

Thank you and Welcome to DU!

PEACE!

[mdmc]

99. Peace Bro..

low stress..

[bigwillq]

101. This is just heartbreaking.

I am sorry you all have to go through this. All my best to you and your family.

I few posters above made some great suggestions about calling your Congress member and seeing what is the last possible resort. I am hoping that someone on the state or federal level can help you. :hug:

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

102. My best thoughts are with you and your family. I am so sorry that this is happening to

all of you.

Peace,
Ommmmmmmm

[Exultant Democracy]

103. Good luck brother my thoughts are with you. I have was homeless for a while not that long ago

all I had was a car with everything I owned inside of it. When my car was broken into and everything I had left was stolen it was hard, very hard, but I made it. So let me give you the good news in a few months when you move into your new place, it is going to feel amazing.

Take care of yourself, stay strong, this too shall pass.

[Baby Snooks]

105. We do survive, don't we?

You take care of yourself too!

[ljm2002]

104. Are you currently renting, or do you have a mortgage?

If you have a mortgage, please do not move out without first requiring your lender to produce the note that proves you owe the money and who you owe it to.

At the very least, this can buy you some much-needed time.

This is not a crooked thing to do. It is a totally legal request, that just happens to work to the advantage of many homeowners currently because so many of the lenders got so embroiled in the make-money-fast world of overpriced housing that they did not bother to dot their i's and cross their t's.

It is not you trying to get out of a legitimate debt. Rather, it is you asserting your legal rights as a party to a contract. In the meantime, you retain possession of the house. The old saying in the law that "Possession is nine-tenths of the law" is a truism for a reason.

Anyway -- I don't know if you are paying on a mortgage, but if you are, STAY PUT and tell your lender to produce the note.

Good luck and best wishes to you and yours.

[midnight]

106. MJ you sound like you are doing the best you possibly can do.

I find it hard to hear about your families struggle, and know that Obama's admistration is getting ready to deliver more bailout money to the banks who are not bailing out families like yours. Your family is in my prayers.

[Name removed]

108. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. 
[link:www.democraticunderground.com/forums/rules.html|Click
here] to review the message board rules.

[Betsy Ross]

109. You will be in my prayers. n/t

[SDGirltoo]

110. Help with your resume ...

My heart goes out to you and your family, as well as everyone else who has lost a job through no fault of their own.

In 2001, I myself, lost my job in IT. I went from a position earning $60K+ per year to where nobody would touch me for a $10 an hour job. In fact, when trying to return to a position as an Administrative Assistant, I was shocked to see the last sentence of a job posting state "Computer Programmers need not apply". I know firsthand how difficult it is to find work in a tough economy.

Today, I own my own resume writing company, Haute Resume & Career Services (www.anewresume.com). As a Certified Professional Resume Writer, I'd like to offer my services (pro bono)to assist in the development of your new resume. Let's get either you or your wife back to work as quickly as possible.

[Stephanie]

112. Welcome to DU!

That's the spirit.

[renate]

132. welcome to DU!

What a lovely way to start off your membership here! :hug:

[BobTheSubgenius]

171. Yes, a very big welcome to you!

One hell of a first post.

[Grinchie]

178. Heh, I quit IT and became a farmer

After all these years, and all the software I've written in my life, I don't thiink I can every even think of going back to that world.

The more I learned about farming, the more I knew that it is the most stable and rewarding occupation, as long as you don't have expectation of making 6 figures a year from it.

The fresh are, the miracle of nature, and the bounty it brings, along with the equivalent complexity and interactions of Software Engineering are wonderful. Plus, it's a wonderful, part time job that allows me to do many other things to develop my skills, instead of being stuck in a cubicle or home office all day.

[Midlodemocrat]

111. Can we help you? Can't we, as DU, send you some $$$$ via PayPal?

It's been done before, with great success.

Please, please, please, consider it.

[MarianJack]

156. I don't know if this is allowed, but...

...my PayPal account is [e-mail].

That is not why I posted this though.

Thank you for your good intentions and peace to uou, Midlodemocrat. :patriot: :hug:

[Baby Snooks]

166. The kindness of strangers...

I hope by chance enough DUers who can do so will send you something. Maybe it will carry you through the summer. Or longer.

Years ago friends and I did the same thing for someone. Her expenses were paid for a year. Everything. She got a job, saved it all, went back to school and got a degree. That was the way America used to be. We all really did help each other. I don't know what happened to America.

[varelse]

113. You've got my empathy

I wish there were some way I could actually help you though. This is so damn depressing and frustrating.

Hang in there - you and your family deserve better than this. Don't let anyone mislead you into blaming yourselves.

[Shireling]

114. I am so sorry to hear this,

as is everyone. I have lurked here for many years, and all of you seem like friends.

I guess that your wife doesn't qualify for unemployment insurance? I know that it isn't much, but maybe it would help. But I'm sure that you have already looked into that.

Don't give up hope!

We will be here for you!!!

Best wishes!!!

[keepthemhonest]

115. so sorry

:hug: :cry:

[Not Sure]

116. I don't know if this is a proper suggestion

as far as tax law is concerned or the TOS of DU or even just my poor etiquette, but perhaps you could accept donations to a PayPal account or something like that. That might improve your situation enough to avoid being apart from your family so long.

I wish you well and hope everything works out for you and your family.

[Ms. Toad]

117. Good luck to you.

It sounds as if you have spoken to someone who knows something about how to get where you need to be on Section 8.

I would encourage you to take a different approach with your son, however. However hard it is to explain to him, he will be expecting to come "home" from his vacation to a home that will no longer be there. That will be hard to explain to him honestly - and honesty is important. It will also likely have the added bonus of helping him understand that people who are homeless are not "other." They are our friends, neighbors, family - or at least could be with a few unlucky breaks.

Take care of yourself, as best you can.

[a la izquierda]

120. Good luck to you and your family.

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time :(
Here's to hoping that things will quickly improve for you.

[Brooklyns_Finest]

121. While your situation is

dire, I am confident you will pull through it. The fact that you can talk about it will go a long way of getting throught he rocky part. I look forward to seeing you overcome this temporary challenge.

[Dorian Gray]

122. MarianJack

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You and your family are in my thoughts as you suffer your separation. I truly hope that this situation will be remedied quickly.

[proud patriot]

124. It is going to be a long summer

I was just 2 people shy in senoirty to work summer school.

bummer ... not sure what I'm going to do but I'll do it .

[sellitman]

125. I'm not there yet but I'm out of work 6 months.

It can't go on much longer. I feel what you are going through more than most. I've got 2 in College and I don't how for how much longer I can keep them there. This sucks. I wish you the best and will keep an eye out for your updates.

Regards,

Kevin

[kaygore]

126. I feel so bad for you and wish you well

Please keep in touch--through a library computer, a friend's, etc.

I am in the state of Washington right now, but perhaps there are some DUers near you that could have you over for dinner and relieve some of the pressure. I wish I were closer.

Please keep us updated.

[Hannah Bell]

127. A thought: there are quite a few "volunteer" situations where you exchange a place to live (&

sometimes meals to) for work. families are accomdated too in some situ atons:

e.g. farm situations

ohttp://www.wwoof.org/americas.asp

i used to have a link that listed other types of situations, like working in youth camps, with DD children, private caretaker situations, etc. i've looked around to re-find it but so far no luck.

a far amount were through religious orgs (but were not necessarily religious) - catholic, jewish, lutheran, etc. some of them sounded like interesting experiences & good locale for kids.

it's possible there might be situations like this near you that might be a good fill-in until you find something better.

i'll keep looking for the links & post them if i find them.

best wishes to you, i hope things turn better for us all soon.

[Hannah Bell]

137. i couldn't find the old list but found some similar things.

http://www.oneworld365.org/country/united-states

http://www.idealist.org/if/h


maine americorps:

http://www.volunteermaine.org/


live in lighthouse: national parks & related opps. also if you have rv (or sometimes even if you don't) volunteer campground/city/county parks caretaker/host positions = free housing/rv space

http://www.travelbeat.net/volunteer/archives/2008/09/light-house-rescue.html


sojourner (progressive christian)

http://www.calltorenewal.org/index.cfm?action=magazine.article&issue=soj9603&article=960346


various

http://journeyproject.sbu.edu/Volunteer%20Opportunities.pdf.


catholic worker

http://www.catholicworker.org/communities/commlistall.cfm#MA

[Seldona]

128. My thoughts are with you, and I hope you catch a break.

It really sucks you have to separate the family. I hope that doesn't last long for you. The thought of you being separated from your wife and kids brings tears to my eyes.

My deepest, most sincere, sympathies as one father to another. It breaks my heart to even contemplate this situation, let alone that it is happening to parents all over this country. What an absolute travesty.

[FloridaJudy]

129. I'm so sorry

Hugs and vibes to you and your family. I'm in sad financial shape as well, but at least I don't have school-age children.

[MasonJar]

130. Can we at DU help? If so, how?

[cally]

134. I'm so sorry you are facing this

I know you love your family greatly and my heart bleeds for your suffering. I wish you wouldn't blame yourself for this. I bet you did the best humanly possible in the circumstances. It sounds like your son will be well taken care of and all of you will grow closer in this adversity. :hug:

[shireen]

136. i'm horrified to hear this.

if you have a paypal account, please post it.
:hug:

[MarianJack]

159. If it's Permitted,...

...my PayPal account is [e-mail].

Thanks shirleen. :patriot:

[Flatulo]

138. I would be happy to send a few bucks your way via PayPal.

I just lost my job today after 22 years. My last day is Friday. Thankfully my home is paid for and I got a very good severence package, so I'll be able to survive for a while. ANd my wife is still working, so we'll get by.

[MarianJack]

160. If this doesn't violat e the rules,...

...my PayPal account is [e-mail].

Thanks Flatulo. :patriot:

[Flatulo]

183. Check your PP account - and good luck to you and your family.

[Fovea]

139. Best of luck to you and your family!

I hope everything turns around for you all!

[handmade34]

141. you have my empathy, MarianJack

do not consider it 'dumping'. Let people help when they can, keep your head up and try to be more than an 'occasional visitor'.

feedback -the reason I can empathize- a number of years ago, I had a live-in job and 4 kids. My contract was not renewed, I had no money saved and nowhere to go. I was homeless from May until October in Vermont. I had enough money to buy a tent and lived in the woods with my brood until I was able to get two meager jobs and an offer of a house to rent from a kind person. Never to diminsh what you are suffering but just to explain that sometimes things aren't always what they seem; those months living in the woods and bathing in a cold brook turned out to be a not so bad memorable experience for my kids. I would without hesitation give you my home if someone else(that would have been homeless otherwise) weren't already there. I believe we all must learn to co-operate and learn to work together to help each other in these tough times.

[Stinky The Clown]

142. Don't blame yourself. You need all the support you can muster, and that means from inside, too.

Bad people have no regrets. your regrets are incredibly eloquent.

Be kind and gentle to yourself.

[GreenPartyVoter]

144. I am so sorry *hugs* I hope you can work something out!

[Hatalles]

145. I feel for you. It's so tough right now.

I'm having difficulties too right now. Thankfully, it's a bit easier knowing you still have family that cares for you. I hope things get better. :hug:

[Flying Dream Blues]

146. Let me add my sincere sympathy for what you're going through,

MarianJack. It sounds like you are being pragmatic and strong about your situation, and making the best of things. Please don't blame yourself, it can undermine your confidence and you don't need that. You've acknowledged your part in it, and that's enough! Try to be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else; you sound like a very loving dad and husband. If you decide to get a PayPal account, I'd like the chance to pay the kindness forward that was shown to me in dark days. You'll make it, I'm sure!

:hug:

[Plaid Adder]

148. I am so sorry to hear this, MarianJack.

I don't have time to read much any more but I happened to see this. You must all be heartbroken. I hope you will be able to make a home together again soon.

with sympathy,

The Plaid Adder

[MarianJack]

161. Thank You. Adder.

The support in this community is amazing.

Feedback from you is special to my wife and I since yours is among the opinions we respect the most in this community. Whatever happens, I'm going down to PA in August and bringing them back home.

PEACE! :patriot:

[grantcart]

152. In 1994 I went from being an executive to having nothing. In addition to

that I had to move my family back to the US from being overseas and didn't have any community or network to work with. We stayed in my brothers garage for a month.

I then got the idea of exchanging my labor for housing. I was able to find a landlord that needed a lot of work on the inside of one of their rentals. I traded 6 month free rent for fixing the dry wall, repairing the molding and painting the house (none of which I was experienced in). For the first two years we slept in sleeping bags. Looking back on it I think my kids remember it warmly, we had no TV only a few games we played with each other.

Keep your head up and you may be able to see some option that is not traditional. Even in the hard times some good things happen.

Keep fighting and never give up. It may sound trite but "its not how far you fall but how high you bounce".

[MarianJack]

162. We will bounce HIGH!

Thank You! :patriot:

[ZombieHorde]

155. I offer you a manly hug.

:hug: <--Manly.

[MarianJack]

163. Manly Hug...

...backatcha'! :pals: :grouphug: :hug: & :loveya:

[OmahaBlueDog]

165. I have little to add to the warm wishes and solid advice you've received.

Try to stay as positive as you can. I'm not trying to be Polyanna, but we both know that despair and feeling sorry for yourself aren't going to help here. It's clear you realize that, because you have a clear eyed plan here - it's not an easy plan, but it's a plan that puts your wife and son in good, safe situations and keeps your income.

Hopefully your son gets a lifetime takeaway spending a summer with his Grandmother

Keep analyzing. Be on the lookout for a living situation you can bring your family into safely that works with your current income. I never had a situation like yours, but 3 years ago, my wife and I were getting eaten alive financially; we made a radical change - I took a demotion and left my job in Florida to take a position in Nebraska. My salary went down a little, but our living expenses fell by over 50%.

Don't beat yourself up. If you know you made mistakes, learn from them and move forward. If you know you need help in the money management department, and you have spare time, it won't cost you a dime to sit in the library and check out some books on the subject.

Keep your wife on the lookout. Maybe the situation where she is is better than the one where you are

Inventory your skills, and if you have time, see if you can get any sort of assistance to get training

Best of luck. May God go with you.

[EmeraldCityGrl]

167. You have inspired me...

I have a basement with two bedrooms. For some time I've been thinking about making it available to a family like yours in transition.
Just long enough for someone to get back on their feet. Reading your post convinced me this is the thing to do right now.

Try to think of this as a transition. There are people that care and you will meet them along the way.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

[upi402]

168. At least there's a grandmother to send your son to

Be grateful for that, I guess.

BTW, I did all I could do to prevent this. Since Raygun scammed his way to power I've marched, written, and donated my own self into the poorhouse. I'm on the edge now too and see no hope for change in recent political musical chairs. My chair is on the Titanic and we have NO grandmother lifeboat for my child. I'm furious - especially at "Democrats" who should know better than to trust the Uniparty.

FTW

[windbreeze]

169. This makes my heart hurt for you, your wife, and your son...

and for everyone else in the same predicament. I wish you the best..and I certainly hope that everything works out for the best asap..Take care, take one day at a time..and Good luck, I will be thinking of all of you..wb

[BobTheSubgenius]

170. Priorities

Cost of a B2 bomber: Approximately $2.2 BILLION American

Cost of a Seawolf class submarine: Approximately $3 BILLION American

Cost of a G.R.Ford class carrier: $14 BILLION American (projected)

Cost to give an American family a little support, a little dignity and keep them TOGETHER???

This is so fucked up I can't even see straight. I can't tell you how sorry I am to read this, MarianJack....or any others out there facing these circumstances.

I made under $17,000 last year, and I consider myself LUCKY to have that, not least because I'm not beholden to anyone for the income.

And, Baby Snooks....I really hear you, too. Somehow, almost everyone I know owes me money. What a world.

[Grinchie]

173. Welcome to the club is simplify.

My partner and I ent through the same thing in the DOTCon, Enron fraud in California.

The hardest part in the recovery was the pain of losing everything I had worked for in my lifetime. It was a very emotional time, and in the end, all the items collected in 20 years turned out to be worthless and illiquid.

It was really hard to come to grips that we no longer were a member of the middle class, but when we did, something wonderful happened. We searched the country and found a nice productive piece of land and purchased it outright. We then learned how to produce as much as is humanly possible for ourselves, and no longer consume as we were taught by the Corporate media.

I have to admit, the learning curve is tremendous, simply because we are currently so dependant on the Corporation for everything we do, that many of the skills, tools, and materials have been lost, or have gone extinct. After a while, you learn to make do with what you have, and become especially skilled in doing nearly everything yourself. It becomes a game to wring the most amount of use out of any tool, and you begin to learn to appreciate the antique tools our forefathers used to pioneer the frontier, craft their own homes, furniture and clothing. The myth perpetuated that living in a grass shack is uncomfortable is a lie. There is nothing that the human organism is not capable of doing opnce they set their mind on a dream or an idea and follow it through to the end.

After 6 years, we are nearly self sufficient. Grow much of our own food, have immense woodlots waiting to be utilized for timber, food and fuel, and most of all, the ability to relax, take our time, and enjoy the challenge of living as well as we were when we were part of the upper middle class. The amazing thing about it is that we spend very little money, but when we do, it is for items of true value and need.

Take advantage of this time to learn about lost skills, and you'll see how little they teach us in school to be self sufficient, or polymath.

The thruth of the matter is that Freedom is truly free. Nothing can take that right away from us, but most people give it away in pursuit of material wealth, instead of true happiness.

[Baby Snooks]

179. Selling it all....

I went through that the first time. Some things I knew the value of. And managed to at least get most of what I paid and left it at that. But some things I didn't. And an antique dealer, a friend of a friend, took full advantage of it. He consigned a lot of things to an auction house. I just couldn't believe it. A friend of a friend. Ripping me off.

All told in the end I got back about 10%. Not much when you think about it. But it paid the bills for a couple of months.

Not everyone can afford to buy land and live off it. You are lucky you were able to. Communes are most likely going to become more prevalent in our society. Communities of survivors.

We really are faced with an unpleasant future in this country. A growing number of us really are becoming the stray cats so to speak.

[MarianJack]

188. Thank You, Grinchie!

Your words mean a lot! :pals: :patriot:

[bottomtheweaver]

177. Really sorry to hear that.

Hope things work out so you don't have to have that happen. Damn we're going down fast. :mad: