A word about trophy wives.

[Lurking Dem]

Every time this subject comes up on DU, I cringe.

My husband and I are 16 years apart. And I look somewhat younger than I am. So when we walk in somewhere, I sometimes get looks that are very akin to what people are doing here gossiping about Thompson.

Yet he is the love of my life and I can't even imagine not having him in my life. It would be like trying to live without air.

Nobody knows the ins and outs of a couple's marriage except the two people who are in it. I think Hillary Clinton said that, or something like it.

We have almost nothing to go by except a couple of photos and very little background. There are no facts to gauge their relationship by, just supposition. And it's ugly and tainted.

Even if she is a dumb bimbo (which I really have no reason to believe) so what if marriage is what made them happy? Who are we to judge?

No one is saying crap about Kucinich's young bride. Nor should they. (Except maybe to say her dress was WAY better!)




I think those griping about Fred's wife sound like a bunch of harpies.

Why don't we talk about Fred's politics instead? If he joins the race, he will be a serious contender. His having a young wife is far less of an issue than his thoughts about Roe v. Wade, for instance.

If it IS an issue, then Dennis' wife can be no less of one. Or every candidates marriage needs to be gone over with some fine toothed comb to make sure it fits into "acceptable" parameters.

I'd like to think we're better than that.

[bryant69]

1. I think what you are missing is that Thompson is a republican

So fuck him and the horse he rode in on.

Kucinich is a good liberal Democrat, and his marriage is nobodies business.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[FyurFly]

9. Pot meet the kettle n/t

[Firepit 462]

32. Yikes !

That's a lot of narrowminded thought, childish thinking, and ignorance all rolled up in a short nasty package. Did you take your pacifier out before spewing that?

[Bronyraurus]

38. I think Bryant was joking

[Firepit 462]

39. Ahhhhhhhhhh OK.. funny.

[bryant69]

43. I was in fact joking in a cynical kind of way.

Bryant

[PCIntern]

2. As the British were wont to say:

People are 'snatching at straws'.

I happen to agree with you. I also happen to know that people are so frustrated with what's been going on that they're debasing themselves unintentionally. There are a lot of 'cognitive distortions' out there and we should do our best to not lower ourselves in all respects in order to fight the good fight. A little debasing is OK, lots is bad. Plus, we're not as good at it as 'they' are. They're WAY more experienced in this stuff.

[EST]

3. People who cleave to the democratic standards of thought and

action are not necessarily a lot more enlightened than their ignorant republiclown counterparts. Most are obviously of higher caliber, though not outrageously so.

I suppose one must not expect a huge difference, and I am pleased at the differences there are. We take what we can get then work and hope for something better. Time will tell.

[jobycom]

4. But,but,but doncha see? We have to become like the Republicans to win!

If we can't be as mean and nasty and disgusting and filthy as they are, then we can't win, doncha know? And we have to win, to get mean and nasty and disgusting and filthy Republicans out of office. I read that somewhere.

[sendero]

76. Whether you like it or not..

... it's pretty much true. We don't have to lie, cheat and steal though.

[dsc]

5. I think any politician, regardless of party, who opposes my rights to marry

the person of my choice, on grounds of saving marriage, who is himself or herself a remarried divorcee is fair game.

[jobycom]

6. So we should attack them as they attack us in the hopes of ending such attacks?

Seems like we might have better luck trying to change the paradigm, and practicing what we preach--that a person's private, romantic, married life is no one's business. When we raise the issue against them, they will turn it back on us, and things have gotten worse, not better.

[dsc]

14. It isn't his romantic life it is the blatent hypocrisy

This is no different at all from a politician that runs for office saying unions are great but in his firm bans unions.

[jobycom]

18. That argument works in some cases, but I don't see how it applies here.

If he talks about "defense of marriage," pointing out that he was divorced and remarried is appropriate (as with Giuliani), but accusing his wife of being a "trophy wife" crosses into personal attack, IMHO. The attacks on Clinton's personal life and his marriage were sickening to me not because they were done by the other side, but because they were wrong. When our side does that to someone else, we justify what they did. In my opinion, that makes us wrong.

Not that I'll weep for Fred Thompson. Just that I'm disgusted when our side becomes their side.

[dsc]

23. assuming she played no part in the break up of his first marriage

I agree that she should be off limits.

[jobycom]

26. .

:toast:

Jesse Jackson would be proud of us. Common ground, and all.

[Clark2008]

77. She didn't.

He was divorced a long time ago and then dated several high-profile folks. He didn't marry Jeri until 2001 or so.

[Ghost in the Machine]

82. yes, we should attack them as they attack us. "Fighting fire with fire" is NOT a cliche'

It is a fact. Like setting a back fire to stop another fire in progress. We need to get in the faces of these ignorant rightwing rhetoric spouting fools and shove their nasty bile back down their throats.

While we should be striving for diplomatic relations abroad, like the trip that Speaker Pelosi is on, we need to be playing smashmouth politics here at home with this criminal regime and their rubberstamp enablers.

Every time they open their mouths to spread their lies and propaganda, we need to smash the truth back down their throats until they choke on it. Is the truth hard to swallow, you disgusting repiglicans? CHOKE ON IT!

Assholes!

/tirade

[Benhurst]

7. The only legitimate question is

whether or not the country is ready to have a mermaid for First Lady.

[bumblebee1]

15. Mrs Thompson may be the classiest person in the world.

The dress she's wearing in that photo says otherwise. It does look like a cross between a mermaid and a negligee (sp).

[MissB]

16. Well said.

:rofl:

[marions ghost]

27. OMG

:rofl:

and I take it this wasn't a costume party. Somebody give her a lyre.

[LostinVA]

35. That really is an unfortunate choice of dress

[Pacifist Patriot]

36. And that is a really diplomatic way of saying...

Quick! Call the fashion police, we have issued an arrest warrant! ;)

[LostinVA]

51. Damn! You caught me!

I've been going to PM you: how did Saturday go?

[Pacifist Patriot]

54. Very well thank you! The testimonials on Saturday and then...

again the following morning during Sunday services made my head positively swell.

[LostinVA]

59. I've always heard Unitarians are good liars

hehehhehehhehehehe

The SO sent you an email, btw.

[progressoid]

52. And she's floating.

How does she do that?

[lolly]

71. Yikes!

Who lied and told her that looked good?

[Solo_in_MD]

8. I consider my wife a trophy and a jewel beyond all value

but she is slightly older than me...does that count?


We need to get over this...period. Adults make their own choices. I know mature women who only like younger men, mature men who like younger women etc. Its not political and should not be taken as such.

[Lurking Dem]

11. I got my husband a t-shirt

that says, "Trophy Husband".

Fuck'm. :P

[blondeatlast]

13. My hubby's my junior and quite a looker. I need one of those! nt

[Morgana LaFey]

41. What a lovely thing to say

The first part, not so much the 2nd, tho true enough probably. I'm fed up with the sexism, personally, and the politics of THAT (as in, "the personal is the political").

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

10. It's part and parcel of "gotcha'" politics. But, politics is not known to be dignified.

It's certainly nothing new. Throughout our history candidates have been accused of everything from rape to child abandonment to murder.

"Getting into politics is like stepping into dogshit." - from "The Motorcycle Diaries"

It's also a part of America's tendency to promote politicians to celebrity status in which their private lives are fair game for perusal by the media and entertainment of the masses.

Personally, I could give a rip about why someone married someone else and consider the fact completely irrelevant to their desirability as a candidate.

[blondeatlast]

12. Plenty of room to criticize Thompson; why focus on this, DU? It's so, well, THEM of us.

It's hard enough to find one person worthy of one's love, trust, and respect.Thompson is creepy, but not because of his wife, just because of his actions in the public arena.

Some of the replies regarding her that I read here yesterday were disgusting. Apparently it's now okay to make fun of a "cripple" because she married a politician I find creepy? Not from where I stand.


When she makes a policy statement I disagree with, I'll be happy to jump in on her. Until then, I wish her happiness.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

17. Disingenuous strawman.

Nobody here's complaining about Thompson marrying a younger woman.

[jobycom]

19. So how do you explain this thread title, eh?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=561544
Will the GOP base embrace Fred Thompson's wife, 24 years his junior...

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

20. Did you notice the words...

"Will the GOP base embrace...?"

[jobycom]

25. That's splitting a hair rather finely.

Too finely for me to find validity in the argument.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

28. That's not splitting hairs...

That's the whole point of the thread.

This is why I used the word "disingenuous."

[jobycom]

29. You misunderstood what hair I meant, I guess.

I'm saying that raising the issue in that way is an attack, even if it's couched as a hypothetical about GOP reactions.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

30. It's not an attack on Thompson's marriage...

It's an attack on the GOP. Are they going to embrace Thompson's non-traditional marriage? Yes, of course they are. It's a rhetorical question.

But everybody already knew that.

[jobycom]

31. Non-traditional, but not an attack?

I see.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

33. Is "non-traditional" an attack?

How do YOU feel about non-traditional marriages?

[Javaman]

21. I think the point, imo, is that thompson is an old hag and how could

a pretty young woman want that? LOL

[maveric]

22. Just one question: Do you consider yourself a "Trophy Wife"?

Or just someone who fell in love with and married an older man?

[Lurking Dem]

60. I do not consider myself a trophy wife.

Nor has he ever treated me like one. I just hate seeing people jump to conclusions. It's an ineffective form of exercise.

[sutz12]

24. I don't really care about her....It's him I don't like.

:)

[LostinVA]

34. *standing ovation*

Especially since there's a bit of an age difference between me and the SO. Being two women, it's not as obvious/big a deal, but it's still there. If anything, the age difference almost scared me away -- ONLY because of how "society" looks at the difference. We love each other so damned much -- we're getting married in the Fall. Just because she is young and attractive does NOT diminish what we feel for one another.

Great post.

[Lurking Dem]

63. Mazel tov!

Here's to a joyous and beautiful wedding!

One word of advice: Don't try and drown out her Disturbed with Neil Diamond. It isn't pretty. :+

[ThoughtCriminal]

37. Here's what really bothers me

I've been faithfully married for 20 years. I am well past sick of getting lectured about "Family Values" from Republican politicians that are on their 3rd "Trophy Wife". I never hear that crap from Democrats.

If the GOP wants to claim to be the "Values Party", they need look at their own lives and STFU.

[Tom Joad]

40. I agree. It sounds like nothing more than gossip... and it is his politics that

would make a difference if he were to become President. We need to make sure america is warned about thompson's policies of war and of stealin' from the poor to give to the rich, not about his married life of which we have no inside knowledge.

and yes, overall, there should be no judgments about who other people choose to marry. We should know this.

[IronLionZion]

42. Age is just a bloody number

Nonetheless, it's my life goal to be some wonderful woman's young trophy husband someday. Seriously, maybe I have an oedipus complex, or maybe I just want a nice mature woman who is smart and independent and always watching out for me.

Either way, I could care less who Fred Thompson or Dennis Kucinich is married to. I care much more about their political platform, accomplishments, integrity, and character. I want to know how they are going to govern this country. Bush and Cheney have "socially acceptable" wives but are miserable failures at leading this country.

[mainer]

44. To be a trophy wife, doesn't an earlier wife have to be dumped?

I don't know anything about Fred Thompson's wife. But Dennis Kucinich was single for many years, so the fact he married a younger woman -- without having to dump an older model -- makes her NOT a trophy wife.

[Skittles]

46. no

I think "trophy wife" applies to the belief that a guy got a woman because of his money/notoriety - a gal who never would have married him without that money and notoriety

[spooky3]

49. and the flip side of it is

a trophy wife is someone he would never have married if she weren't attractive to other men, i.e., his trophy to show off.

[Skittles]

55. basically, they are both using each other

very pathetic

[earth mom]

45. Glad you found the love of your life...but...

I think if these women look and act and dress the part of someone who married for money or status or power, they are fair game because they are, in fact, shallow as hell.

[Evoman]

47. I just want to know what the hell is wrong with marrying for money and status.

Why do we look down on these people? Everybody has different reasons for marriage, who am to judge? And LOVE has only really entered the equation barely 100 years back...for the longest time, love was a non issue in marriage.

[blondeatlast]

50. I so agree. I'm very happily in love and married but I see nothing wrong with

marrying for any other reason as long as those involved are adults, understand the terms, and consent.

[judaspriestess]

48. I happen to be in a relationship with a younger man

he is ten years younger than me, I'm 36 he's 26 and we have been together for over four years now. Yup I met him when he was 22. He clamped on to me and did not let go and I adore him for it. I don't care about peoples ages in relationships, its whatever makes them happy.

on edit: you are right ^^^ about that one and how people choose to define their marriage, its on them not anyone else.

[n2doc]

53. Well said. If people have to resort to such attacks it means they don't have much

I am not saying that Thompson doesn't have flaws (being a Republic automatically gives him at least one). But Comeon! folks. These kinds of spousal attacks are really stupid and give cover for the important flaws that need to be exposed in the Candidate himself.

[DeepModem Mom]

56. I posted a thread about Thompson and his wife.

The subject line made clear that I was addressing the question of what the GOP (Fundamentalist) base would think about her as a First Lady. (She would not, in the photo available of her, for example, be mistaken for Laura, or Barbara, Bush.) As I've indicated to others re. the Kuciniches and Keith Olbermann and his girlfriend, Kucinich is a Democrat, with a Democratic base, and Keith is not running for President. I wish both couples, and the Thompsons, every happiness.

And best to you and Mr. Dem!

DMM

[Lurking Dem]

69. It was less your OP than some

of the responses to it. :hug:

[saracat]

57. Sorry but I lose a lot of respect for a guy that has to have a wife that much younger.

It is a judgment call. There is something a bit odd about a guy that has something in common with a 23 year old(Keith) As soon as I read that I no longer respected Olberman. It is too bad really . But look at Fred's wife. She certainly looks bimboish as well.Sorry, but while everyone has the right to do as they please, people have the right to be influenced by it.I see no difference with these so called trophy wives than I do with the school teacher and the 13 year old boy!But hey, flame away! Just my opinion

[Sapere aude]

65. Trophy wife is your definition of her. The woman is an adult the 13 yr old isn't.

Your are entitled to your opinion but others are entitled to not hear it.

[misternormal]

58. My wife is...

...12 years younger than I am... I am a die hard Democrat and a raging liberal...

Anyone that has a problem with that can kiss my ass.

Thank you :headbang:

[Sapere aude]

61. My wife is 17 years younger than me, I'm also a raging liberal.

There are a lot of people with age differences in their marriages. I have a co worker who is 48 and her husband is in his 70's.

[mentalsolstice]

62. I resent the term trophy wife/spouse!

I cringe whenever I hear that term just thrown about in general way to characterize younger spouses. It casts aspersions on the character of both parties involved. I'm 14 years younger than my spouse. He certainly didn't marry me for the eye candy factor, and I sure as hell didn't marry him for his money and status. It turns out is was a first marriage for both of us, and the only thing either of us gained was a loving companion and a committed life with a best friend.

[devilgrrl]

64. Hey, just as long as she's hot - who cares if she loves you or not?

:sarcasm:

[treestar]

66. I'm more interested in a trophy husband

What would that constitute?

Seriously, Repukes by their own standards are supposed to be married still to their first wife. Their double standard is what is appalling.

[11 Bravo]

67. I have a trophy wife. She's a post-menopausal 52 year old ...

who is the absolute light of my life. She's my lover, my best friend, and has borne us two wonderful children. For my money, that's a trophy wife!

[B Calm]

68. Who's Fred?

[Terri S]

70. The fact that this ever comes up at a place like DU should be an embarrassment

to anyone who considers themselves a progressive/liberal, imo. Shallow labeling and disrespectful remarks about anyone's personal life is typical of posts at the likes of Free Republic. It gives the impression of people here being the flip side of that same coin... and I'd like to think that isn't true. From what I read otherwise, it is indeed not true.

There's always the temptation to lower oneself to an opponent's level, but considering the gutter the opponent resides in, it is never the appropriate action to take. No matter how 'right' you think your position is, in the end, you still end up in the gutter.

Surely the intelligent people who post here can think of relevant examples of why an opponent is ill-equiped for leadership of this country.

[roguevalley]

72. I don't know your story but I know that anyone who dumps his old

wife for a younger model is a cad. My grandpas were older than my grandmas. that is different. What is evil is dumping a perfectly good wife for a newer model. See, Guiliani. (Nothing like being told you are going to be divorced in a news conference. Also, nothing like moving the girlfriend into Gracie Mansion when the wife and kids are still there.)

[alarimer]

73. I think the reason the age difference is an issue is because we

often hear about a successful man dumping his similarly-aged wife for a younger model after the first wife put him through school, helped him make his millions, etc. And that is the stereotype of the "trophy wife", someone the guy picked up for kicks after he dumped the first one because she got too old. And, I am sorry to say, that story happens more often than anyone cares to admit. I guess it may not be as common as it used to.

Also from a personal point of view, when I see someone my own age or nearly so with someone half his age, I think WTF? Some of us have a hard time getting dates even because many guys my own age prefer to date college co-eds. It is just a blow. I want to find someone but they are all looking for little-miss-thing or whatever. But I personally would never date someone as old as Fred Thompson.

I have no idea what Fred Thompson's deal is but isn't strange that all the Republicans (except Romney) have had multiple wives, whatever their ages?

[Lurking Dem]

74. Yes those stories suck.

But our mistake is in assuming that storyline whenever we see an older guy with a younger woman.

In Fred's case, this is his second wife and he's been divorced since 1985 or so. They have kids together. She was a lawyer (so educated and employed).

[bleedingheart]

75. You are confusing age differences with Trophy Wives

You see...the Trophy Wife is the lucky gal who lands the guy who had his first wife:

1. put him through college.
2. bear his first set of children
3. endure the nights alone while he was busy making more money and promising that "one day honey...we will be set!"
4. who entertained his friends at a moments notice
5. who wore herself out trying to make her marriage work.

and then....he decides....she is too old, she is just a harpy because she doesn't understand him....and he then secures all the money he was making and he divorces her and then bitches that he doesn't want to pay child support...

Then he marries a gal that is only about 5 years older than his eldest child and he proceeds to lavish all the attenion he promised he would give his first wife if she only would endure those nights without him...

That is the big difference.

Mr. Hardy of 84 Lumber dumped his wife (who he had been married to for 50 years) for a woman who was more than 50 years younger than him...he dumped the woman who bore him 5 children and helped make his fortune for a twenty something girl...
Luckily his first wife got a good chunk of change.

[riverdeep]

78. I'd like to say I'm not influenced in any way by the age issue

but in all honestly, I am. It creeps me the hell out, it's like a visceral reaction, I can't help it. However, it's a piece of the picture, one clue into what someone says and what they do, not the whole thing. But I gotta say, she looks reasonably young and healthy and he's going to be geriatric in a few years; people who say age plays no part whatsoever are living in fantasy land. It's something that has to be addressed and once a couple can honestly come to terms with the limitations, if they enter into it with eyes open-I say go for it, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks. But it does matter.

In the list of factors of why I can't stand him, it rates a 2 though, pretty low.

[eridani]

79. I understand. The reason I don't get that reaction with Kucinich--

--really isn't just because I like his politics. On a gut level, Dennis and Elizabeth APPEAR to be far closer in age than they actually are, and that makes a difference. The flip side of looking like a newsboy when you are 30 is looking like a vigorous young adult when you are 60--he might as well enjoy it.

The picture of Thompson and his wife is viscerally repellent to me also, and the intellectual knowledge that he didn't dump an older wife for her and that she is smart enough to get through law school doesn't change the reaction.

[Lurking Dem]

80. Isn't that presumptuous?

[eridani]

81. Visceral reactions happen

Presumptuousness doesn't enter into it.