You Still Can't Buy a Vibrator in Alabama

[marmar]

via AlterNet:




You Still Can't Buy a Vibrator in Alabama

By Paul Krassner, Cleis Press. Posted June 13, 2009.

Krassner's new book "In Praise of Indecency" attacks the taboos surrounding sex and pornography.




The following are excerpts from In Praise of Indecency by Paul Krassner. Copyright 2009 by Paul Krassner.


In Praise of Indecency

The late Harry Reasoner, who was an ABC News anchor and a Sixty Minutes correspondent, wrote in his 1981 memoir, Before the Colors Fade:

“I’ve only been aware of two figures in the news during my career with whom I would not have shaken hands if called to deal with them professionally. I suppose that what Thomas Jefferson called a decent respect for the opinion of mankind requires me to identify those two. They were Senator Joseph McCarthy and a man named Paul Krassner or something like that who published a magazine called The Realist in the 1960s. I guess everyone knows who McCarthy was. Krassner and his Realist were part of a ‘60s fad -- publications attacking the values of the establishment -- which produced some very good papers and some very bad ones. Krassner not only attacked establishment values; he attacked decency in general, notably with an alleged ‘lost chapter’ from William Manchester’s book, The Death of a President.”

I appreciated Reasoner’s unintentional irony -- I had started as a political satirist in college, poking fun at McCarthyism -- but now I resented being linked with McCarthy. He had senatorial immunity for his libels. I risked lawsuits for what I published. What I really wanted to do was crash a party where Reasoner would be. “Excuse me, Mr. Reasoner,” I would have said, “I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your work on Sixty Minutes.” And then, as a photographer captured us shaking hands, I would add, “I’m glad to meet you. My name is Paul Krassner or something like that.” Instead, in 1984, when my one-person show opened, I decided to call it Attacking Decency in General. It ran for six months, and I received awards from the L.A. Weekly and Drama-Logue. That was my kind of revenge.

Decency is, of course, a sublimely subjective perception. And so arbitrary. In 1964, Lenny Bruce was found guilty of an “indecent performance” at the Café Au Go Go in Greenwich Village. In 2003, New York Governor George Pataki granted Bruce a posthumous pardon -- but it was in the context of justifying the invasion of Iraq. “Freedom of speech is one of the great American liberties,” Pataki said, “and I hope this pardon serves as a reminder of the precious freedoms we are fighting to preserve as we continue to wage the war on terrorism.” ..........(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.alternet.org/media/140466/you_still_can%27t_buy_a_vibrator_in_alabama/

[underpants]

1. ROLL TIDE!

[Syrinx]

2. yes you can

There's a store called Fantasyland up the street that sells such things.

[Mari333]

3. who needs vibrators when there are so many dildoes in office there

[notadmblnd]

4. I wonder why the men in that state are so insecure?

must be afraid that their girlfriends and wives will choose a dildo or vibrator over them?:shrug:

[Mari333]

6. well, they cant perform female mutilation on women there

like they do in some societies, so this is their next best thing.
whats next, cutting off women's index fingers?
banning cucumbers?

[notadmblnd]

9. or anything phallus shaped for that matter.

after thinking about it for a minute, I guess the men have good reason to be insecure. Women don't have to clean, cook or do the laundry for a dildo or vibrator. They don't have to listen to them burp or fart either. They're pretty no muss, no fuss. Just wash it off when your done with it and toss it in the drawer.

[Berry Cool]

23. Well, they don't have to do those things for a man, either.

I mean, not if they don't want to.

Use him and kick his ass out the door, if you must.

(Psst to Alabama: You may prohibit the sale of vibrators, but are you cutting all your women's fingers off too? And do you also prohibit the sale of bananas and cucumbers? Just curious.)

[Billy Burnett]

7. They might succumb to the temptation and pick one up for themselves?

They're afraid of their own temptations. ;)

[babsbunny]

28. That State? All States........

:toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast:

[hedgehog]

5. I beg to differ:

http://www.gillettevenus.com/en_US/products/vibrance/index.jsp

I read about here on DU

:blush:

[notadmblnd]

10. This is what has me intrigued

They're from Trojan

Can you imagine what you and a partner could do with a hand full of those? Or alone even?

[TheCowsCameHome]

8. Well then, marry your brother.

...or whatever..

[obliviously]

11. There is always the spin cycle on the washing machine.

sit and enjoy!

[alfredo]

16. Or electric toothbrushes Or get a

hand held milk frother and bend the frother as needed to adjust the vibrations. The toothbrush seems more convenient, but it sucks at frothing milk.

[obliviously]

19. necessity the mother of invention! N?T

[alfredo]

20. That's it.

Long spoken intro, but worth the wait
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNmhhWFWzQk

[Are_grits_groceries]

12. No, but

you can ride real fast down one of those old washboard dirt roads.

[Berry Cool]

29. Or one of those roads with a drainage ditch cutting across it that the road runs over.

You know, the kind with a really big tunnel that puts a real BUMP in the road.

[old mark]

13. I had every issue of The Realist - it made me what I am today.

I thought Krassner was dead!

I guess he ain't.

Have to buy another fucking book, now....

mark

[cagesoulman]

14. Masturbating rednecks. There's an image that will fucking haunt me.

Where the FUCK is the brain bleach?

[AlCzervik]

15. what if they shaped it like a gun and gave it a Confederate flag motif?

[Stevenmarc]

17. Well they don't want them sitting on cinder blocks on the front lawn when they break.

[boppers]

18. Title is semi-misleading, for those who aren't familiar with the law.

You can buy a personal massager. You can buy a cell phone and set it to "vibrate" mode (oooh, call me again!).

What you *can't* buy are "sex toys", objects with the sole purpose of sexual use. Packaging can make all the difference.

[Berry Cool]

25. A cell phone? Um, no thanks.

:rofl:

[boppers]

31. I actually own an "Oooooo-bama".

Google "headostate".

I figure it might be worth something to collectors in 30-40 years, so it's never left its packaging.

Oh, and it's "sold as an adult novelty only", not a sex toy. Its supposed to be a funny sculpture.

[Warren DeMontague]

35. Yeah. Who wants a Cell Phone shaped like a dick, anyway?

Don't answer that.

I mean, really. Don't answer it.

[unsavedtrash]

21. Sure you can

http://fantasylandal.com/

[kentauros]

22. You can't buy a "dildo" in Texas

but you can buy an "educational device".

Here, watch Molly talk about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUl6x1YXpg

:D

[mmonk]

24. Try mail order.

[LostinVA]

26. Poor ShellBeau

[Canuckistanian]

27. I thought you could still buy them at Vibrator shows

No paperwork, no questions asked.

Or am I thinking of something else?

[TahitiNut]

37. That's only for assault vibrators.

:shrug:

[WonderGrunion]

30. That's what the internet is for

I'm sure that Spencer gift has a website.

[bertman]

32. No, but you CAN buy a "foot massager".

[EndersDame]

33. It is Legal in TX to do so Altough I have been able to buy personal massagers

[donheld]

34. Why is it you can't by a vibrator there, but

most of the people seem to have a stick up their butts?

[rufus dog]

36. Damn good reason - Public Health!

Too many 'Bama women were chipping their teeth.

[ThomWV]

38. What? Is there no E-Bay access in Alabama?

How do they pour concrete into deep forms there?