**Happy Fathers Day **..share a memory of your Dad

[Peacetrain]

To all the Fathers at DU, Happy Fathers Day. My Dad passed away July of 2007. I miss him as much today, as I did then.

My Dad was a funny little Irishman. He loved to fish, garden and sit and watch bees. He was a self taught musician who could play any instrument by "ear". He bought the first fishing rod at age 3, for every child and grandchild, and took them out fishing. He always had a little sunfish set aside to sneak on the hook so that child or grandchild could experience success at their endeavors. He would then release the little fish back into the lake. Keep only what you need, only what you will eat. It was a great lesson.

He went in on Omaha Beach on D Day, and kept all of that to himself until his later years.

I loved him dearly, and every day, see more of him in me. When I was a teen, that was the last thing I wanted, now its a comfort. To sit and tell a story and hear my Dads speech pattern come out amuses me. But most of all, I appreciate having learned to enjoy life in the little things, and not wait for the big moments. It was the greatest gift he gave me.

[grantcart]

1. When I was about 9 years old I was riding with him downtown and we

passed by the library and there was a man passed out on the sidewalk with a small head wound. He parked the car and gave first aid to the man (an obvious alcoholic homeless person). Living in Asia this image would come back to me as I would happen upon numberous car accidents and help motivate me to provide assistance.

[izquierdista]

2. My Dad taught me to always vote for the Democrat

When I was little, I thought this might not be all that fair, after all, were the Democrats always right? Over the years, I have learned that while Democrats may not always be right, Republicans are always wrong.

[Patchuli]

28. I love your post! Great quote!

"while Democrats may not always be right, Republicans are always wrong."

My dad rocked, in spite of the fact that he was sadly, a Republican. We just tried to avoid politics and he did admit to me that I was right about Tricky Dick all along.

As a dad though, he rescued us from garden snakes, taught us to roller-skate and bike, write checks, drive (oh I shudder at the memory of him yelling at me!) and generally did all the important things. Sadly, he regretted to me when I was with him in his last days that he didn't spend as much time with me as he should have and how much he really enjoyed my company. We laughed a lot and I can still hear him calling me his lefty commie pinko after a bear hug.

Happy Father's Day, Daddies!! :loveya:

[tabbycat31]

37. so did mine

when I voted in the 2002 Midterms (I was not politically active then) at 22, I was told "when in doubt vote Democrat"

[cali]

3. My father was not a kind man

Brilliant, mercurial, inventive, successful, but not a kind man. Not to say that I don't have some good memories of him. He rebuilt a beautiful old chicken coop for us as a playhouse, moved it to a beautiful spot at the edge of meadow by a stream, built a little fence with a gate around it. He used to give the first kid who found the first crocus of the spring a buck, sending us all off madly searching.

[Maru Kitteh]

44. Men who are not kind do not care about spring's first crocus or playhouses for children.

Perhaps he didn't allow himself kindness very often, but clearly he had kindness.

[no_hypocrisy]

4. The only time I saw my father cry was at the hospital bedside of my mother one hour after she passed

[no_hypocrisy]

5. The only time I saw my father cry was at the hospital bedside of my mother one hour after she passed

[a kennedy]

6. my dad bought me a 2nd flute so I wouldn't have to carry one

back and forth from school.....I was and still am, so spoiled. :-)

[ejpoeta]

7. This is a very hard day for me. My first one after my father died. He only died

in April. and his birthday was the 18th which was more tough than I thought it would be. I miss him. It's almost easier to think he's still at his house in Pavilion, driving around to visit everyone... stopping by on his way back from the Rez. Today we are all going to meet at my sister's to spend the day together. She thought maybe that would be a good idea since it's tough for us all today.

I remember whenever we got together for anything, my dad would be sitting out in the living room with the kids. They were loud. They were boisterous. I don't know why, really, because no one else wanted to be out there with them! LOL! but that's where he always was. At the funeral all the kids went into the other room, and i found myself at one moment looking over there and thinking to myself that that was where he would be if he were there.... out there with his grandkids.

I didn't always get along with my dad. In fact, I didn't talk to him for two years after I left at the age of 16. I won't go into the stuff that happened that led up to that. But I wrote him a letter and explained it from Arizona. I still loved him, no matter what had happened. When we came back to New York, he showed up on our doorstep and though it was awkward, he never actually had to say he was sorry. I could see it on his face.

He was never very good at saying things... or hearing them. I finally gave him a hug a few months before he got sick. Now I am glad I finally did it. I was so scared to do it. And he reacted stiffly and awkwardly. I think he knew we loved him. And we knew he loved us. At least at the end I felt I had nothing I had left unsaid to him. Sitting there in the hospital room as he lay unconscious. I held his hand and sat silently.

I think that experience, of all his children dropping everything to go sit in a hospital room with him says it all to me. He wasn't rich. He left no big inheritance. But his kids were all there by his side at the end. No amount of money can buy that. And I realize that I owe that to my parents every time I choose time with my kids over an object. When I take more pride in a card my kids made for me than anything else I could have ever gotten.

I miss him.

[Peacetrain]

9. ......

:hug:

[Patchuli]

29. You said it all, beautifully

:hug: Please remember, they don't really leave us...they live in our hearts.

[northofdenali]

36. Your dad and mine share a birthday -

I think all dads born on June 18 must have been special.

:hug::cry::hug:

Keep the memories in your heart; they become warmer each year. :hug:

[Mari333]

8. My daddy

He was a railroad engineer on the EJ&E for 50 yrs. He was in WW2 and flew missions over Italy. He came back from the war with shell shock and had to work on a horse farm for a yr to calm down. he was in the Army Air Corps. He met my mom and they had 6 kids. I was the oldest. He grew up in Southern Illinois and lived like Samuel Clemens as a kid..swinging off ropes naked into the Mississippi, hanging around Menard State Prison as a little boy, he would bring his rifle to the trustees there so they would fix it when it jammed, of all things..
he grew up in the depression and watched his father sell off everything, including a priceless gun collection that included 2 pearl handled pistols.
He grew a moustache which was considered daring back then. he had a moustache all his life.
he loved theater, and played the lead in "The Gay Senorita!" in high school..he was the senorita (go dad!)
his nickname was "Spider" because he was so skinny as a kid.
he loved his dogs, and cried everytime one of them passed on.
he had gardens and chickens at every place he lived.
He was a Union Man, and when he was asked if he wanted to be in management on the EJ&E he said No. he couldnt live with himself he told me.
he participated in strikes and union work, and because of him I learned about the word "scab" and "featherbedding."
he was silly, and danced silly dances to make us laugh.
he took us for long long walks down railroad tracks and told us
"look at the sun, the trees, the clouds, the birds..they are all free..they dont cost anything, enjoy them..."
he used to say " all the money in the world doesnt buy you an ounce of class..how you treat other people is class"
he didnt like television..he called it the Idiot Box
he said "advertisers could put shit in a box and if they package it right people will buy it"
he did watercolour paintings
some of his colloqualisms..
"politicians all have shiteating grins"
"its raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock"
"i'm sweating like a politician at an election"
"thats slimier then snot on a doorknob"
"its colder then a well diggers ass"
he worked 3 jobs when he was laid off to keep us fed..
every night before he went to work, he kissed all of us on the forehead.

I was a very lucky kid to have a dad like this. happy daddy day dad. i know you watch over me now.


daddy being silly

[livvy]

10. My earliest memory of my dad...

is sitting in my highchair eating a soft-boiled egg and watching him putter about the kitchen. I also remember sitting on his lap while he read me "The Call of the Wild" and his effective, calmly conversational story at the dinner table about his friend-at-work's daughter, whose thumb fell off because she refused to stop sucking it. He patiently taught me to write, understood my insistence that caught fish should be released, and that a belly-full of freshly picked blueberries was more important than a full pail brought back to mom for later use. He has always had faith in me, that no matter how badly I screwed up, I would turn out ok.

Happy Father's Day to all you DU dad's. May you be as wonderful to your children, as mine was (and is) to me.

[Not Me]

11. My Dad taught me

that there are others out there who are in need, and it is our duty to share what we have to make their situation better.
He was never preachy about it, but still today (he's been gone for 3 years) I ask myself I am doing all I can for others.

[Neecy]

12. my dad was a big baseball fan

My earliest memories are afternoons at Wrigley Field - I can still recite the roster of the '69 Chicago Cubs. After the game my dad would take us to a penny candy store in Wrigleyville and let us pick out whatever we wanted. I loved those little root beer barrel hard candies.

He was a good guy and a positive influence. He passed away in 1991 and I miss him a lot.

[mrs_p]

13. i'm so jealous of all of you

my mom left my dad when i was only a year and a half and my sister was three months. she couldn't take the fighting, drinking, lies, and occasional beatings. though, i didn't know any of this until i was an adult. he and my stepmom would send us cards over the years and i imagined that he was a great person who would eventually rescue us from poverty and give us a better life. we lived 3000 miles apart and i knew mom couldn't afford to send us to see him - never thought it would be his duty to see us. before the first iraq war, mom found the money - she was afraid that he would die in battle (he was a career military) and we would never meet him. i was 16, had been unconditionally loved by my mother, and grew up in an extremely liberal, catholic community. i was crushed to discover he was a very devout republican (reagan and bush 1 were the best things to ever happen to america), was a horrendous alcoholic, and just a generally mean-spirited person. there was nothing generous about him.

i tried for years to be a daughter - he disowned me once for sending him a letter asking to have a real relationship with him. he forgave me, after i sufficiently begged. the last time i saw him was at my aunt's wedding. he had drunk a dozen or so beers by then and i was talking about invasive species (as a wildlife biologist, i couldn't help myself). he gave me the meanest look i have ever seen in a person - i saw true loathing in his eyes - and told me he didn't have to listen to my "lectures." i left and haven't seen him since (that was back in 2004). he called a couple of times, but i just couldn't. i went to a counselor and learned to put up boundaries.

the most ironic thing - we both moved to the same state a few years back - we now live 45 miles away from each other. days like today, i think of him and wonder if i should give in to my kinder spirits. i know my husband doesn't want to see me hurt again and always talks me out of it. but, he's out in the field right now (also a wildlife biologist) and out of cell phone range. maybe, i'll go for a drive. we'll see...

for all those who have dads that love them, you are the luckiest bastards in the world...

[nashville_brook]

25. yep -- i know exactly how you feel.

i had a really difficult time with father's day this year, for similar reasons. my father passed away many years ago -- but the general tone of the relationship is similar, only more distant and calm. i put up those boundaries very early in life, and for some reason, the older i get the more squishy i get when i think of all the missed family life. specifically, i never questioned being "fatherless" when i was growing up (even tho he was "there" he wasn't really there) -- now, i feel a big emptiness. that it was a gothically sad family.

[liberalmuse]

14. I loved my dad.

He was always playing with us kids and ordered toys for us (more for him, LOL) from the back of cereal boxes. When I was six and my sister and brother were 5 and 6 months respectively, he said he was going to visit a friend and never returned. We cried every night for him. He left us with the crazy lady with the angry green eyes. Years later he took us to Disneyland a couple times, but that's all we got to see him. Twice. He ended up shooting himself sometime after that. I do remember he was extremely intelligent and funny, but he may have suffered from depression because he just didn't have the motivation to apply all that intelligence and wit. He was the coddled baby of his family and never grew up, sadly.

There's this girl at work whose dad comes in and brings her a huge bouquet of flowers every year on her birthday and then he takes her out to lunch. You can tell the man adores her, and it's just lovely to see.

[Iterate]

15. The happiest man in the USA

My dad was a lifelong Democrat but had a combination of personal guilt for having voted for Nixon in 1968 and keen sense of betrayal over the outcome. He never voted for a Republican again and got his revenge by remaining registered as a Republican, chalking up a certain amount of passive-aggressive glee every time they wasted money on a mailing or a phone call. He could hold anyone on the phone for quite a long time.

In the 1990's he took complete care of my mom as she went through all the stages of Alzheimer's but found the time to call the local TV news stations nearly every night and point out where they had failed to uphold high journalistic standards. Yes, my dad was the cranky old guy who called every night. They came to know him by name.

He was the first person to warn me -back in the early '90's- of the dangers of young Bush and his inevitable Presidency. I didn't believe it was possible. He was right, I was wrong.

In the summer of 2008, when he himself was going through the stages of Alzheimer's and the rest of us were on pins-and-needles over the election, he had to have been the happiest man in the USA because he was convinced for several months that Obama was already President. Then the Republican convention upset him to no end. He looked forward to voting.

Now I'll let my sister tell this part of the story:
"I took Dad to vote last week. We went to the election office and they actually sent 1 dem and 1 rep to the car and they watched while I helped him vote. Then he took the arm of one woman and started crying and told her "you don't know how important this is to me". But, he also proceeded to tell them both that "the other guy is dangerous. They should cut the SOB and pack him in salt". Thank God I apologized to them ahead of time for anything he might say - even though he was 100% right!"

Ouch. I think he deserves credit for the most cringe-worthy, non-PC statement ever made to a poll watcher, even if it was a common saying for depression era farm boys.

[Cresent City Kid]

16. My dad was a quiet speaker, but powerful thinker

The day to day memories of my father were typical father-son stuff, nothing spectacular. He was a teacher who often worked a second job at night, so we didn't get to know each other as closely as some fathers and sons. I learned more about him through his writing than our interaction.

He was often sick as a child, and reading became his main activity. This started a life long quest for knowledge that shaped the lives of those around him. His academic study of sociology spanned a great deal of my life, a bachelor's degree in the '60's, a master's in the '70's and a PhD in the '90's. His body became old, but his mind retained the childlike thirst for knowledge to the end. His books took on the world's biggest problems, and conveyed hope of solving them.

His only enemy was ignorance. He liked to point out that ignorance can never be ended, just lessened bit by bit over time. We not only have to learn, but learn how to learn. His final message was the hope that we can build a global community working to survive together. In his view this meant all people having their physical, emotional and political needs met. He was more hopeful than I am that the powerful would make the necesasary sacrifices to make this happen, but I agree with his point that our survival depends on it.

[slackmaster]

17. I regret that I never got to know my real father as a man; I miss my stepfather desperately

He died when I was a child, and had not yet achieved manhood himself at the time.

My stepfather was a real man. He taught me a lot, much of which didn't kick in until years after his death.

In accordance with his wishes, his ashes were scattered at sea by the Navy in 1987. I can visit him by going to any seashore on Earth.

[Peacetrain]

19. Fathers are biological, Dad's can be anyone who is that important person in our life

What a sweet remembrance of your "Dad". you can visit him on any shoreline. Brings teas to my eyes

[proud2BlibKansan]

18. So many good memories; he was the most patient man I have ever known

That's always the first thing I think of - his patience. I was never once spanked as a child. I don't think he ever spanked any of my siblings either.

When I was about 12 and my sister was 2 or 3, my dad was out in the front yard putting stone paving steps in the yard. My sister kept asking if she could help and he said no she had to watch. Finally she picked up one of the tools my dad was using and slammed it into the windshield of the car, sending glass flying everywhere.

My dad very calmly asked me to take my sister in the house and ask my mom to keep her inside. I did that and came back out and helped him clean up the glass. He never once got angry and just acted like every little toddler will smash a windshield if the opportunity comes up.

I am still amazed by the memory.

[Vinca]

20. My dad became a single father in 1958 when my mother died of cancer.

I was about to turn 9 and my brother was 4. My father was lost, but tried his best to take care of us. The summer after she died, he somehow footed the bill for me to go to Girl Scout camp. Camp Farnsworth on Lake Fairlee in Vermont - I'll never forget it. All the little girls in my tent were horse happy. Guys probably don't understand this particular emotion in young women, but there seems to be a horse-loving stage in many girls' lives. In any case, the other campers had brought along their plastic horses and kept them near and dear morning and night. I missed mine and wrote to my dad that I wished I had my favorite plastic horse. Much to my surprise, after work the next Friday, my dad drove a couple of hours to the camp to bring me the horse. He also bought boxes of marshmallows for the entire camp. For whatever reason, the counselors wouldn't wake me up to see him when he made the delivery, so I didn't know about it until the horse appeared the next day. This is probably my favorite "dad" memory and makes our later semi-estrangement a pain that has never gone away even though he's been gone 25 years.

[Patchuli]

30. I relate so much to your story...

My mom died in 1962, same situation. Bachelor Father...we ate lots of burnt pork chops. Dad sent us to Girl Scout camp too, also during our horse times (I still love them but rarely get to ride now). He knew how much I wanted to go on trail rides and even though it was tough for him as a single dad supporting us, he found the money to send us. My mom had had enormous medical bills. You know though, I think our vacation was actually one for him without his little darlins' for a little while to get a rest! We have a lot in common...

[Vinca]

33. At least my dad didn't have medical bills to worry about.

My mother was a WAVE and met my dad when they were both in the Navy. She was treated at a VA hospital. Of course, back then, there wasn't much that could be done to treat cancer once it had spread to the liver. My dad had a real rough time of it at the beginning. Years later I heard he had contemplated putting us in an orphanage, but my grandmother would never have let that happen. We lived with her for a bit. Did your father remarry? About 3 years after my mother died my father married someone he didn't love in order to give us a mother. (Of course I didn't know that then . . . it only became apparent when I was older.) She was a total bitch from hell and ruined my father's life. Families are complicated things.

[Patchuli]

54. Sorry I'm slow!

I cannot believe how much in common you and I have. My mom who was actually my adoptive mom, died of liver cancer. Dad definitely had a rough time and my mom's brother (who was my very favorite uncle) wanted to take my sister and I to live in FL from CA. My dad said no, I'm going to finish what we took on. My dad unfortunately also married a bitch who quite frankly, didn't want the whole package deal. She tried to ruin my life for real but I'm too stubborn to allow such a thing. She later asked for forgiveness when my dad passed. Families are indeed complicated things...thank God for friends!

:hug:

[Blue Diadem]

21. Dad's been gone for 22 yrs now.

Dad became a gentle soul after having a stroke in 1977. The war and his childhood that had haunted him before his stroke were gone and those last 10 years gave him a chance to make peace with his children. Before that, that nice guy would appear every so often, I always knew he was in there waiting to be let out.

I was the youngest and when my brothers went to Viet Nam, it triggered my Dad talking about his own days in the war. He went in D plus 1 and was in the 2nd Infantry Division. He received a Bronze Star which I have now to pass on to his grandchildren/great grandchildren.

One of those early good memories is when I was around 9 or 10. He taught me how to cook eggs on a Sat. morning. Mom often slept in because she was up most of the night with my disabled sister. Almost every Sat. after that, at least for a few years, I'd cook Dad his breakfast and we'd sit and watch cartoons together. We loved watching the Road Runner and Sylvester and Tweety. I think that time was special for him too. After he died, we found a card I'd given him as a kid that he'd kept for all those years. It had a picture of Tweety Bird on it.

My Dad was an avid DIY'er. He taught me how to work on cars and taught me how to keep up and improve a home. Even when I was small, he'd teach me by having me hand him the tools and it became a game of whether I could remember which tool was which the next time.
Crescent wrenches and vice grips always gave me a problem. :)

RIP Dad. I love you and miss you.

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there.

[Hepburn]

22. My father and the new portable TV set ~~ a Christmas Present

At the time I was about 15 years old and this was in the early 1960s. I had be requesting a portable TV set for my room and one day I came home and there, under the Christmas tree was a box that was just about the right size for what I wanted for Christmas ~~ that dang TV set. So, of course, I went over to the tree, hefted the box to test the weight and put it back down by the tree...apparently not in the exact place that it had been put there by my Dad. Well, for days before this, my Dad had told me over and over that there was NO portable TV for me for Christmas.

So that night I met him at the door, asked about a portable TV for me and got the same answer. Dinner was on the table, we immediately went to the kitchen table and ate ~~ where the Christmas tree in the living room was out of view. After dinner, my Dad retired to the living room to read his newspaper...and he had to pass the Christmas tree to get to where he was going. There was no TV in the living room in our home ~~ it was in the family room because my Mom had a thing about TVs not being appropriate for the living room. It was an area to socialize or read ~~ but not a TV area.

As I stood in the kitchen helping my Mom clean up after dinner, the following shout rang out from my Dad as he entered the living room and passed the Christmas tree:

"WHO MOVED THE TV?!?!?!?!?!?"

Apparently when I had hefted the new package under the tree to see if it was the right weight for what I wanted, I had failed to put it back where it belonged.

:rofl: We laughted about that incident for years ~~ especially every time there was a Christmas tree in my parents house or mine! Some package would be hefted for weight, put back down in a different place and my Dad would call out, "WHO MOVED THE TV!?!?!?!?"

I miss you, Pop....:cry: It's been 18 months and some days, I forget that you are gone.

[blueamy66]

23. My Dad passed away a few years back

There are just too many memories to list.

A funny one though....he was a radioman in the Korean War, stationed in the mountains of Italy. He had a fatty tumor removed while still in the Army, which left an angry scar. He told us and all the neighborhood kids that a Japanese soldier had speared him. We all believed it. :)



Wish I had a better pic uploaded.

[nashville_brook]

24. i never knew my "real" father -- my adopted father was

basically an apparition in the house. he stayed in his room watching baseball or reading, and he took 10 mile walks on the beach everyday (i presume, tho, that he really walked to the bar most days).

he was a very educated man, witty and self-involved. he didn't understand children, and didn't seem to want to. he resented the tameness of home and kids and much preferred the company of older gentlemen like himself. i think he loved his wife, my mother, but she wouldn't let him in. she was angry with him for something huge that was never talked about. he didn't drive. he was an alcoholic, and kept a bottle of Old Grandad on the top shelf of his closet. He squirreled chocolate away in his sock drawer. he claimed to be James Joyce's second cousin. he was a friend of Jack Eckerd of Eckerd Drug Stores, and lost the house and all the family money in some business deal that went wrong with him. he died believing that he had been destined for greatness and somehow missed the boat.

[Froward69]

26. once while shoveling snow

from the side walk. I was shivering cold and he gave me the sweat shirt off of his Back. It seems trite, but I tear up every time I think of it.
(1922-2006)

[create.peace]

27. I wish everyone could have a father such as mine.

It started at birth, he stood over me, a few days old, sleeping in the middle of a double bed, and said "Ain't she somethin'" - I heard this from my grandma and him both many years later, but it didn't surprise me.

He kept my younger sister and I in art supplies; let me eat a whole avocado for lunch; taught me how to ride a horse; loved my mother deeply and wildly (still does, she's been gone for 19 years); tells me sincerely he just wants me to be happy; says his generation isn't the greatest generation ala brokaw, but the luckiest; listens to music not talk radio; paints great paintings; stopped skiing at about 79 because of the snowboarders; rides horseback 2-3 times a week; took wonderful care of my mother till she died; he cries, at movies, and when we talk of my mother and my son, who both passed too young; he calls me up frequently and we chat for about 15 minutes, he always ends with 'i love you and think about you'; he and my mother danced for nearly 48 years.

You see, why I wish everyone had one like him? I tried to find someone who would be a father like that to my children, but alas, they broke the mold.

I will call him later, he lives far away (in LA) and we will talk about how I had two babies on different father's days. We will cry, because one died on the 4th of July.

My daddy. Bill.

[livetohike]

31. It was 1957, my Dad gave up a chance to go to the Pitt vs

Penn State football game so he could take me to the ballet :-). I was five years old. The ballet was "Billy the Kid".

My Dad will be gone for five years on Nov. 8...I miss talking politics and sports with him. Dad, I'm still waiting for the Pirates to go to the playoffs :-).

[AwakeAtLast]

32. My dad didn't have the best life growing up

My sister and I didn't realize that until we got older and started asking questions. He grew up on a farm to parents who really only regarded him and his brother as not much more than farm hands. The only rules they had were that they had to be ready for chores at 6:00 a.m. Hours and hours on a tractor, driving grain trucks, working cattle, etc.

He left in '66 to go to the Air Force, which I think was what changed his (and then my) life. He got to see how the world really was and he was able to decide what to do with his life. He got a teaching degree and started teaching high school. He did go back to farming for awhile, then the bottom dropped out of it, so he went back to teaching.

Had he not done those things, I think I would have grown up poorer than I did with a bitter and angry father. Instead I grew up with a father who felt he could decide his own fate and not feel obligated to keep up a family farm. He did face a less than great relationship with his parents because of that. I learned that I could do the same, but my relationship with him would not suffer.

Here's to all the wonderful fathers out there!

:toast:

[northofdenali]

34. My dad was white, Irish, Catholic -

and the least bigoted person of his generation that I can ever remember.

One of my strongest memories was "helping" him campaign for Robert "King" High for Governor of Florida, wearing a huge (on me) straw hat with the campaign sticker around the brim. Bob High was the first who strongly pushed for integration of Florida schools - before the Supreme Court decision.

Another was "helping" daddy campaign for John F. Kennedy - at the age of 8 - and getting a black eye from from a classmate whose parents were rabidly pro-Nixon. The next was coming home after JFK's assassination to find daddy already home, in "his" chair, crying.

He died when my daughter was 2. His one admonition to me as a parent was "never, ever try to break her spirit".

I love you, daddy. I still dream about you (in that crazy Union Suit when you were going up the Haul Road on an arbitration hearing) and I will miss you forever.

[Lugnut]

35. I lost my dad in 1982.

Daddy never told either my sister or me that there was anything we couldn't do because we were girls. He taught us how to fish, do repairs on the house and change a tire. He wouldn't sign our driver's permit applications until we knew how to check and add fluids. He insisted that we learn how to drive in the snow so we wouldn't fear it. I still miss him dearly.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy.

Happy Father's Day to all the DU dads.

[hootinholler]

38. Hmmm

Should I tell you in tribute about my natural father who left us when I was 2, youngest of 5 with a mother grieving over the loss of a child?

Or maybe about a stepfather who measured trip distance in the number of six packs necessary for the ride.

I dunno, maybe I'll try to reconcile with my daughter instead.

-Hoot

[fortyfeetunder]

39. Dad's night cooking -- critters

Dad didn't cook much when we were growing up. If Mom ever left town, we were eating from KFC, McDonalds, which makes me cringe now.

But one day he did cook. He made this tasty pot roast, with potatoes, carrots, string beans, salad.... It was delicious.

After we had finished dinner, he proudly announced he had prepared "deer meat"...

[nadinbrzezinski]

40. One of my earliest memories was the Moon landing

my brother graduated from Junior High that day, but I was on his shoulders watching the grainy video of that, outside the Hall, with a bunch of other people.

These days he is a frail old man, but I am happy he lived to see a black man take the presidency of the US.

[stevedeshazer]

41. My dad had a friend named Howard who was blinded by glaucoma.

Pop asked him once what he missed the most about losing his sight.

"Driving", he said without hesitation.

So the next day, Pop took him out to the dirt race track at the fairgrounds and let Howard drive his car a few laps. Pop rode shotgun and told him when to turn. That guy was one happy fellow that day.

I miss my dad very much today.

[Uzybone]

42. Beautiful thread Peacetrain and all who have replied

My dad passed away 5/5/06 and it seems just like yesterday. He was a kind, quiet, loving man who always sacrificed for his family unconditionally. I will always miss him.

[Peacetrain]

43. Thanks Uzy.. I have enjoyed coming back in from time to time today and reading

all the memories, thoughts about our Dads, living, and passed on. That continuity of life, and experience I guess.. connects us all... I know what you mean about missing them like they were just here yesterday.

[Brigid]

45. When we were kids . . .

my dad and his dad used to watch cartoons with us on Saturday mornings and just kill themselves laughing at Road Runner and Coyote. :)

[Divine Discontent]

46. "you f*ckin con artist!" - any time my dad had to give me $. LOL... he meant it with love eom

[Milspec]

47. OK I haven't even read any repels so here go's..

My father was an abusive alcoholic that beat me, my sister and my mother. I spit when I use his name and hate it when I'm called "Bob" (we were both Robert) but he was the Bob in the house.
Happy Fathers Day to the majority of fathers not like mine.

[ThatsMyBarack]

48. Easy!

In the winter of 1984-5, when I was in eighth grade, I took skating lessons at my local seasonal ice rink on Monday mornings. When I got off the ice, my dad would be there waiting--in his hockey-goalie uniform--to take me to McDonald's for breakfast and drop me off at school. Then he would return to the rink to play hockey. :loveya:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

49. Hmm. A thoughtful liberal.

He worked hard and eventually went to law school at night on the GI Bill while doing rotating shift work at a refinery. Served in Italy in the Army Air Corps. Hitchhiked 90 MILES to Texas A&M to go to college, in the Thirties.

Was a union organizer for the O.C.A.W. Told me about the bad old days before labor laws. One of the biggest sins in our house was crossing a picket line. If somebody called him a commie he was probably doing something right.

An astute observer of human nature and politics. My folks took me to Democratic shindigs from the time I was little. In the 60s we saw Reagan on TV, when he was Guv. of CA, and Dad said "You know, that stupid bastard could be President someday???". I said, "Oh Lord No!". He was right.

When I would cross the street with him, I wrapped my whole (small)hand around his pinky finger which was big. I even did that after I was grown. I'm tearing up thinking about it. He was a big strong hard-working guy.

He taught me to jump a car battery, check the oil, crawl under and change the oil, check the water and so forth.

He's been gone 9 years this July and I still miss him. My mother was making a soap opera out of everything, so he was really a stable influence.

Miss you, Cliff. 1911-2000.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/20612500@N02/3619107912/

[proteus_lives]

50. My dad can be a real son of bitch when he wants to be....

But I love him.

He's taught me a lot of things. He taught me never to lie, to always look a person in the eye and to always keep my word. He taught me even during his bad years. Then he taught me about the right thing by doing the wrong thing.

My first memory of him is sitting on a couch with him in his office while he read "where the wild things are" to me before I went to bed. When I was little, I worshiped him. I thought he was the mountain, that he could pluck the sun out of the sky if he wanted to. I was the only one allowed to play in his office because I didn't make a racket. We had a midnight snack ritual, I have always had insomnia and weird sleep patterns, I'd wake-up in the middle of the night and wander around the house. My mom worried I would hurt myself, so my dad would wake too and we'd sit in the kitchen and drink milk and eat saltines. When I got sleepy again, he'd put me to bed.

I reached my teen years and that went ago with his slid into addictive behavior. He treated my mom, my sisters and me really badly. I started to hate him and I hated him for a long time. I only saw the abusive behavior and not the reasons behind it. (I would learn in adulthood, I'm the youngest in my family and was kept in the dark.) My dad has been chased by demons his whole life. Childhood abuse, drugs, booze, Vietnam. And for a long time he didn't fight those demons, he gave into them. But I saw an amazing thing over the last ten years. I saw that a man can change. Against all odds he pulled himself together and I had my own personal epiphany, I had to forgive him or the anger I carried with me might ruin my life, like his anger wrecked his several times. In the end he taught me one of life's most important lessons. No matter how much you hurt or how sad you are or how angry you are; you can't take it out on either people. It's not right.

I call him several times a week. He still helps me when he can, he gives me financial advise and I whenever I have a big decision, I ask his opinion. Because even if I disagree, his viewpoint is always worth hearing. He's old now and riddled with health problems. But he keeps rolling on. A doctor told him he in 1989 that he'd be dead in two years. Well, he's still kicking. He's absorbed enough punishment to kill someone ten times over but he always walks away. I'm glad he's still here.

Three favorite stories about him. He explained hard work to me like this: "So you walk into a stable and it's layered from floor to roof in shit. And you think 'Aw man, I gotta shovel all this shit?' Well you get to it and after awhile you'll naturally be tempted to quit. But consider this, somethings got to have made all that shit right? That's the rub, behind all that shit is the pony. And in life, you gotta shovel the shit to get to the pony. That's what life is all about boy, finding your pony in the shit."

In the early eighties he was on a business trip, it was two days before Christmas. He was headed home and stopped at a greasy spoon for a cup of coffee. He drank his coffee and talked to the waitress. She was a mom with a couple of kids who pulling extra shifts afford presents for them. They shot the shit for awhile and then she went to serve another customer. When she got back to my dad's seat he was gone and under that 25-cent cup of coffee was a hundred dollar bill with "Merry Christmas" written on it.

When I was about seven, me and my dad went to the mall. He wanted a pair of boots. A few stores down was an arcade, he gave me a couple dollars for the quarter machine and told me to stay in the arcade while he bought his boots. I was playing one game and had laid my quarter in a stack next to my joystick for easy access. Then a big kid swept by and scooped them up. I yelled at him to give them back but he just shoved me against a machine. I was tearing up when a big hand clapped down on the that kid's shoulder. It was my dad and in the meanest voice I'd ever heard, he said "Give him back his quarters." The kid turned as white as ghost, gave me my money and ran off. I looked at my dad through blurry eyes and he just ruffled my hair and said, "Don't worry about it, let's play some pinball." For the next half hour so I watched him play pinball (and explain to me how it was fundamentally better then video games) I just stood there filled with so much love and pride; I thought I would burst. After that we went to Noble Romans for breadsticks. I still remember that as one of the perfect days from my childhood.

I love him. He's a complex figure in my life. Representing both good and evil, right and wrong. I'll always be in awe of and at the same time have issues with him. But at the end of the day, he's my dad. And nothing will ever change that.

[Skittles]

51. the only picture I have of me and my dad

I remember all the zoos we visited, everywhere we lived (military brat) - dad loved zoos as much as any kid.
He's been gone for 25 years now - suicide at age 50

[kimmylavin]

52. What a good thread...

Well, my Dad loves my Mom. A lot.
And their crazy/wonderful/happy/fun/weird/38-years-so-far marriage has been the example of what I hope to have (and think I might!) with my husband of almost 3 years.

They met when they were 19.
Got married when they were 26.
Dad proposed three times before she said yes!

And though he traveled for work, he never missed anything from plays to holidays to birthdays to sports events. And when he came home, he brought flowers and gifts for us all.

My sisters and I can all talk to Dad, and he understands each of our differences, and adjusts accordingly. He grew up dirt poor, worked hard for 40 years, and retired with wealth his parents never dreamed of. He took care of us, of other family members, and of friends (of the old or new variety), never asking for anything in return. He revels in being around people, and people love being around him.

My Dad, with help from my Mom, showed me what a good husband, father and man should be.

Jeez, maybe I should send him this post, huh? :)

[aikoaiko]

53. No single memory -- just one of selflessly working hard constantly to provide for his family

I love my Dad.

[proud patriot]

55. Daddy an Uncompromising Liberal you know him as Proud Dad

:hi: He was great when I was young took me
Roller skating , bowling , baseball games .

Just an all around great guy .

[XOKCowboy]

56. I'm going fishing up in the Bitterroots for the first time since Dad and I were there...

Dad's been gone 5 years now. I got my traveling bug from him. For 7 years between 96 and '02 I'd take a 2 week vacation in late summer, he'd drive his well worn old Ford pickup/camper up from Oklahoma, pick me up and we'd go where the road took us. We went over the Cascades to the ocean, went to Death Valley once and even almost made it to Canada (long story there) but mostly we went up to Montana. He loved it up there. I remember one day we only went about 20 miles up the road when he saw some MT ranch hands putting up hay in this beautiful valley using a beaver slide (you'd have to be a rancher to understand. Google it). We pulled off the side of the road and watched them for 2 hrs because he'd never seen it done. They eventually came up to see what the hell we wanted and Dad ended up feeding them lunch. He was a great cook and always brought a ton of food. He also could talk to anybody. By the end of the day we were camped on the side of a little trout stream that ran through the ranch. They came back for supper too!

I haven't been avoiding Montana. I've been through there but haven't stopped. Going to spend a week fly fishing some good friends up there next month and Dad will be with me.

[Art_from_Ark]

57. Easter Sunday, 1963

Dad came with an Easter basket for each of us kids, then turned around and walked out the door, never to return.

Growing up, I had two stand-in dads. One was my friend's father, who would often take my friend and me skating, swimming or to some other activity, and he even took us a couple of times to KCMO to watch a Royals baseball game.

The other was my grandfather. Since he was already in his 60s when I was born, there wasn't much in the way of physical activities, but he did teach me to play dominoes and various other table games, and we would watch sports together on Sunday afternoons, and when I was too sick to go to school, I would sometimes go to his house and he and I would match wits with the contestants of various game shows like Jeopardy (hosted by Art Fleming) and Eye Guess. He also got me interested in politics-- whenever we went for a Sunday visit, he would always be tuned in to one of the Sunday panel discussion programs like Meet the Press, Face the Nation, or Issues and Answers which offered sensible political dialogue instead of the pablum that passes for political discussion today.