It's Not About Money, It's About World Domination!

[yoyossarian]

It's funny how, when you or I are starving to death, it's just an inconvenience, and we're just collateral damage... but when big bizness has a hangnail, it's the end of the freakin' world:

...most of our businesses are constantly on the brink of bankruptcy, even the very largest and wealthiest, if you believe the business press at all... actually, the business press has long played Chicken Little for big business decades before 9/11; even when things were brightest, they were always clucking away with their nervous forebodings about the "woes" and "upleasantness" and "upheavals" and "hemmorhaging" in the markets... it's always "another serious blow to the markets", "another slaughter in the marketplace", another "hideous bloodletting"... and that's when things are good and they're talking about GM or Microsoft, y'know?... given this scale, I guess Enron woulda been "the biggest, most carefully-planned mass-murder in the marketplace ever!"... or maybe just "insane mass genocidal corporate cannabalism!"... but the media regularly acts as if ALL business and trade worldwide were ever on the very brink of ruin, and the largest and wealthiest corporations are always on their deathbeds, the media analysts and pundits obviously paid mourners and wailers to this ridiculous theatre... 'the market' is constantly shaking with fever and chills; or rocking, or quaking, or breaking out in boils, or raining meat and blood... at the very best, once in a blue moon it's sittin' up and takin' some soup...

I mean, if it was only about money, it would be a helluva lot cheaper to simply act responsibly, wouldn't it?

Almost all of these businesses, no matter how well they're doing, what new record profits they post, fight endlessly against paying their fair share of taxes or cleaning up after themselves or even making sure they operate safely; and too, they refuse to pay a decent, living wage to any but a very small percentage of the workers they absolutely rely on to do the actual work, those who comprise the very foundations of these lofty enterprises... in fact, they spare no expense to thwart any attempt to require them to act responsibly or be fairer to their workers, they'd rather spend millions and millions to buy up a government and change all the rules to their advantage rather than make a few responsible concessions to the needs of those who make up their 'human resources' (ugh, what an alien way to refer to people!); experience proves again and again that the better they do overall, the harder the privileged few push toward an outright slave model of labor for the mass of us...

Excerpted from Not All That Funny, Actually, an article I wrote back in '02 which, unfortunately, remains apropos as ever...

Course, I'm not sayin' it's not about money to SOME extent as well...

"Gee golly willikers, I LIKE money!"


Great tee-shirts, buttons and such at
Laugh City!


President Evil Online
has risen from the grave!