So, who else anticipates this discussion with their Mother in the future?

[TayTay]

"Hey Mom, it's me. How you feeling."

"Fine, really, just fine. Awesome in fact. I was thinking of going down to the high school to run the track."

"Mom, you're 2 weeks out of hip replacement surgery, you're not running the track. Ah, Mom, I just thought you should know, I can't support you at trial this week."

"But Honey, it's Death Panel 2012 and they might vote to shut me off? I need you, I'm your Mother for God's sake?"

"Sorry Mom. I can't afford both my tax load and my new house. You're old, you got a condo, you know how it is. Don't give me that attitude. You've had a good life, it's just time to move on now."

"But honey, I'm your mother."

"Yeah, and I'll always be grateful to you for the sacrifices you made. By the way, you do have burial insurance, right?"

That's just the way it is Grammy, it's you or the new house. Let the professionals at Death Panel decide.

Oh yeah, satire warning for the sarcasm impaired.:sarcasm:

[Buzz Clik]

1. I already had that discussion with my mom. Right after she voted for Bush.

[LuvNewcastle]

2. My Mom voted for Bush, too. And McCain.

I think that talk is way overdue.:evilgrin:

[madmax]

3. I bet there are many DU'ers who have

had to deal with a loved ones end of life journey. I had to with my Mom, a few years before she died. She told me what she wanted and signed some hospital forms. It's not that complicated nor does it cost a dime.

She was 86 and had suffered a stroke which left her partially paralyzed (her right arm and right leg). Her mind, speech everything else normal.

At the age of 90 a Dr. wanted to implant a pacemaker, she was covered by medicare and medicaid. She refused, he was persistent but, I helped him 'understand' the meaning of no and my Mom's wishes. She lived another 2 years without the pacemaker and passed away at the age of 92.

I am working on my own end of life decisions. I want to make the choices so my family doesn't have to feel any guilt or pressure one way or the other. Many people worry about who gets the money, house, 'things', why not be realistic and face the end of life issues with the same diligence?

[Blue_In_AK]

6. We are dealing with that right now.

My husband's mother, 83, had a heart attack about a month ago. They did a bypass, and although she seemed to have come through it okay, she developed pneumonia and other problems afterwards which they have not been able to resolve. We had "the talk" with the critical care doctor day before yesterday, and they are just waiting to speak with the cardiac surgeon before removing the tubes, which is what we know she wanted...probably today or tomorrow. We are glad that she had a living will and that she made her wishes known ahead of time. We've probably gone a little further than she would have wanted with the life support, but it's so hard to say goodby.

[madmax]

11. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

It's hard :hug:

[Blue_In_AK]

14. Thank you, Madmax...

I'm doing okay because I've been through this already with my own parents several years ago, but my husband is having a pretty hard time. He and his mom were very close...we moved her up here from Texas about three years ago after his dad died so she wouldn't be alone, and he spent lots of time hanging out with her over in her little apartment, taking her shopping and stuff. We always took her camping with us and on road trips out into the coutnry because she really loved Alaska. Even the winters didn't bother her.

[madmax]

15. You've treated her kindly and gave her love

and friendship. Many elderly never have that. Both you and your husband have been wonderful. Great pic, she seems very friendly and happy. Your husband should take comfort in the fact that both of you made her feel wanted and loved right through her elder years.

I did much for my Mom but, I always feel I could have done more. So, it wouldn't surprise me if your husband may sometimes feel that way too.

[malaise]

16. Yes we've all faced or will face these hard decisions

Dad told mom he wanted to die at home after his second stroke and thankfully my mom had a living will. It's hard to lose parents but it's much harder trying to make decisions for people. Everyone should have a living will.

[Blue_In_AK]

19. My mother-in-law passed away this morning,

less than two hours after the removal of the breathing and feeding tubes with my husband and me at her side. I'm sure this is the way she would have wanted it. :)

[MindPilot]

4. My dad died two weeks after 9/11

"I'm almost 70; too old for this shit."

A man clearly ahead of his time.

[Karenina]

5. Oh, MindPilot, DO FORGIVE ME...

:spray:::rofl::rofl::rofl:

PLEASE tell me a story about Papa MindPilot!!! :hug:

[MindPilot]

7. Truth be told...

he had been battling liver cancer and complications from diabetes for a couple years. He served in the Air Force for almost 25 years, was a Goldwater-style republican until Reagan whom he referred to as "the ACTING president who thought the military was his personal special effects crew."

He hated Bush with every fiber of his being and called him the "Ignoramus in Chief". He was very ill and bedridden by then and I swear I have watched him awaken from a drug-induced coma to bellow "IGNORAMUS!" at Bush on the TV and then lapse right back into unconsciousness.

He was very religious and made it very clear to everyone that the Lord knew better than anyone else--especially doctors--when it was time for him to "go home".

He died peacefully in his sleep on the morning of November 23, 2001, a month before his 70th birthday.

After he retired--from his post-military job as an insurance adjuster (now there was a guy who could give you some good reasons to hate insurance companies)--he spent a good deal of his time volunteering at his local VA outreach center helping other veterans get through the maze of paperwork, and was quite fond of saying "a country that can't take care of its veterans has no business creating them".

I'm very glad he--or his god--chose not to live long enough to see the start of the Iraq war, because I would have probably have had to spend a lot of time and money bailing his wheelchair-bound ass out of DC jail.

I can only imagine the ire he would have for today's wingnuts!

[Karenina]

9. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Thank you so very much, MindPilot. Next time I'm at Der Dom (our landmark Gothic cathedral that is just. too. awesome.) he gets a candle. :hug:

[MindPilot]

10. I'm sure he will appreciate that!

I certainly do.O8)

[madmax]

12. Sounds like a hellava guy to me.

Sorry for your loss.

[mnhtnbb]

8. I took my father to our attorney when he moved to NC in 2000 to make sure

that his advance directives/health care proxy from CA were consistent with NC law. Over the
next year and a half his health deteriorated significantly--mental and physical--
and one weekend when hubby and I had gone out of town, he stopped eating--refused to eat, actually. The nursing home where he lived tracked us down in Chicago wanting to put in a feeding tube. I told them, "no".

At the time he stopped eating he was confined to a wheelchair, couldn't change channels on TV, had stopped
reading anything--even the newspaper, never turned on his tape player for music and was having difficulty
feeding himself. I had been to see him the day before we left town and told him we were going. I believe
he chose to stop eating because he no longer wanted to live. I think that was his right to make that decision. He slipped into a coma within 24 hours and died within 3 days. He was 91.

[Ilsa]

13. My father is 83 and has Parkinsons Disease.

We've talked about end of life care. He wants to be comfortable, but no extreme measures to extend his life. He doesn't want feeding tubes if he can't eat , etc.

[placton]

17. to the end we all agree on

let's write our congress critters and tell them not to take out (as is being widely reported) the end of life counseling provided for the in the health care bill.

[TayTay]

18. I was there when the time came for my Dad

We had a consultation with the doctor, did all the tests and when they came back with a diagnosis that he was only living because of machines, we decided to humanely end that. It was our decision based on how my Dad had lived his life.

The government didn't have a hand in that decision. It was like it was with Terry Schiavo. But it would be nice for families to be able to talk to their doctors and make their wishes known. It would be really, really great if such consultations didn't result in unpaid charges for the doctor's time spent in consultation.

This is the ultimate personal family decision. Doctors who spend their time and expertise in consultation with families should be paid for that time and expertise. I have no problem with that and equating that with "death panels" is a deliberate lie that should be fought. I have nothing but contempt for the people doing those lies.

[BlooInBloo]

20. Unfortunately, I don't anticipate having any conversations with my mom in the future...

:(

I know what you mean, though - and yah.