Jesus heals the sick, 2009 style

[Are_grits_groceries]

ttujoe's diary :: ::

The following passages in the WSV (Wingnut Standard Version):

Large crowds followed him when he came down from the hillside (after the Sermon on the Mount). There was a leper who came and knelt in front of him. "Sir," he said, "if you want to, you can make me clean." Jesus stretched out his hand and placed it on the leper saying, "Of course I want to. Be clean!" And at once he was clear of the leprosy.

Yet angry mobs surrounded Jesus, saying "Why have you helped this person? If he was foolish enough to get leprosy, then he should be shunned! What's in this for me?"

He said to the man who was paralysed, "get up, pick up your bed and go home!"

Instantly the man sprang to his feet before their eyes, picked up the bedding on which he used to lie, and went off home, praising God. A man named Hannitius, however, stated that when Jesus was in Canada, it would have taken 14 months for the paralysed man to be cured, and denounced Jesus.

"Sir," replied the sick man, "I just haven't got anybody to put me into the pool when the water is all stirred up. While I'm trying to get there somebody else gets down into it first."

"Get up," said Jesus, "pick up your bed and walk!"

At once the man recovered, picked up his bed and walked.

Though the man was overjoyed, as Jesus began to speak to the crowd, a man began to interrupt him as he pushed his paralysed son to the front. "What will you do for him" the man asked.

Jesus said "I will heal him."

The man continued to argue with Jesus and called him a fraud, refusing to allow him to heal his son.

Leaving there (the cornfields where Jesus and his disciples were criticised by Pharisees for picking corn on the Sabbath) he went into their synagogue (in Galilee, possibly Capernaum), where there happened to be a man with a shrivelled hand.

Then Jesus said to the man, "Stretch out your hand!" He did stretch it out, and it was restored as sound as the other.

A woman named Palinia whispered to others, however, that if Jesus had the power to heal, he would more likely use it to randomly kill people, including her son.

At Capernaum there was an official whose son was very ill. When he heard that Jesus had left Judea and had arrived in Galilee, he went off to see him and begged him to come down and heal his son, who was by this time at the point of death.

"Sir," returned the official, "please come down before my boy dies!"

"You can go home," returned Jesus, "your son is alive and well."

The crowd around Jesus, however, argued with him. One man said, "Why don't high ranking government officials have to take your health care?"

Jesus replied, "Open your eyes- he just did!"

At this point, the crowd began to gather stones.

Later, as Jesus walked along (in Jerusalem, after he had forgiven the woman caught in adultery) he saw a man who had been blind from birth.

"Master, whose sin caused this man's blindness," asked the disciples, "his own or his parents'?"

"He was not born blind because of his own sin or that of his parents," returned Jesus, "but to show the power of God at work in him. We must carry on the work of him who sent me while the daylight lasts. Night is coming, when no one can work. I am the world's light as long as I am in it."

Having said this, he spat on the ground and made a sort of clay with the saliva. This he applied to the man's eyes and said, "Go and wash in the pool of Siloam (in the Lower City of Jerusalem)." (Siloam means "one who has been sent".) So the man went off and washed and came home with his sight restored.

Two men stood by the side of the road commenting on what they just had seen. Rushinus said "This man is certainly a Nazi".

Beckinus, however, disagreed, saying "No. This man is the anti-christ."

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/8/12/765806/-Jesus-heals-the-sick,-2009-style

The WSV. Now I know what version of the Bible they are reading.

[PATRICK]

1. Actually, truth is sadder than satire

Health care will get you crucified.

Healing the poor and sinners.
Healing on the Sabbath. That was a big charge.
Healing at all.
And ultimately, raising the dead.

Why? the same type of people the same type of reasons. Challenges to power. Reliance on the pyramid of elite entitlement and general misery. The divinization of EVIL so that Jesus was accused of blasphemy by doing good. In the confrontation, the unforgivable sin is revealed and according to the Gospels the new hypocrite thugs brandish, it wasn't Jesus' presumption of power for the good of the people. In the same book come specific, pessimistic warnings about CINO hypocrites and how to spot them and the real thing.

Simply, they love money and hate God whatever convenient words spew from their mouths. Or just love to hate,period(those who love the money adore these suckers).