Ted's service was beautiful but it was wrong the way Joan Kennedy wasn't acknowledged.

[saracat]

She was in attendance and while she did divorce Ted, she was the spouse that stood by his side through all he early political career, two assassinations, the plane accident, countless miscarriages, a child with cancer, and the birth of his only children. She stood by his side during both Chappaquiddick and the presidential campaigns. She is a champion of the causes of the disabled and mentally handicapped.

Ted and Joan were married for 24 years and it would have been nice to see her given some credit.
Vicki deserves credit for the later years of his life but to Joan would certainly go the credit for the beginning and the middle.

Joan and Ethel as well as Jean Kennedy are the last survivors of the Camelot era, and Joan and Ethel are the last of the kennedy wives of camelot.

Huffington Post (Sophia A Nelson) has a wonderful article on this subject. Link below. Someone should have said "thank you".

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sophia-a-nelson/what-about-joan-kennedy-d_b_272034.html

[stray cat]

1. Divorced spouses are often not the central people in a funeral service

[Skittles]

2. I agree

especially considering Joan stayed on good terms with Teddy and Vicki

[sandnsea]

3. For a Catholic funeral, there was no marriage

It was annulled. She didn't exist. Only one marriage now, the current marriage.

I don't know for a fact that that's the reason, but it's possible.

[saracat]

8. As a Catholic of sorts, that is ridiculous. As many wealthy catholics can do they

"bought" an annulment.My dad's wife did the same as my widowed father wanted to be married in the church. But Joan cannot be "erased" She is the mother of her children.The children still exist.

Her alcohol problems are likely the reason for the downplay but considering Ted had the same problem, it doesn't seem right. I think they just didn't want to remind people that Ted was married before.

I was struck by the tenderness and love on Joan's face as she listened to her boys.

Joan,Vicki and Ted were on good terms.She even rented a house on the Cape to be near Ted and the boys in his final days.

She deserved better. Just my opinion

[sandnsea]

13. The marriage is erased

It did not exist. The children do, the marriage didn't. There is no way to be a Catholic in good standing any other way, if you've remarried. I don't know that you can have a Catholic funeral if you're divorced and remarried. In the eyes of the Church, the previous marriage did not exist. Yes, the children do, but the marriage does not.

And maybe she didn't want her name brought up so that all of her difficulties wouldn't be fodder for the media.

[blueamy66]

28. How can the children exist if the marriage doesn't...in the

eyes of the Church? My Grandfather annulled his marriage to my
Grandmother and it broke my Mother's heart.

[sandnsea]

You got me, no clue

That's the main reason I never annulled my first marriage. Makes absolutely no logical sense to me at all.

[blueamy66]

93. Good on you for not annulling your first marriage..especially

if there were children involved.

I felt so bad for my mother...although she stayed there for my Dad in his final days.

I was married in a Methodist Church, so if I want to be married in the Catholic Church I think that I am free and clear. Also, I had no children.

I like my Catholic religion, but sometimes I have questions.

[sandnsea]

108. It's more complicated than that

I researched it pretty well, trying to get a handle on the whys and wherefores. If you are baptized in a manner the Church accepts, and are married in a manner that is similar to a blessing or sacrament, then you are married in the eyes of the Church as well. I would bet a Methodist marriage would be considered a Catholic marriage as well.

Do you accept communion? I don't, which is weird because that's about the only doctrine I accept. I would accept communion even though I approve of abortion and gay marriage - but I don't because of my first divorce and I've got no idea why it's stuck in there somewhere.

[saracat]

29. Well, I am not sure that is exactly the case and Vicki has been twice divorced as well. Go figure.

When I was growing up catholic, there was no such thing as divorce and an annulment could only be gotten if a marriage wasn't consummated.But that appears only to apply to the regular folks now!

Consider Ted was married in a huge catholic wedding, married 24 years and had 3 children and countless miscarriages.My Dad's wife on the other has also had a huge Catholic wedding, married a doctor and had 9 children. She asked for the marriage to be annulled using the argument that her husband didn't "want" children! Right.... After a large donation, she got her annulment.

From what I read, Joan agreed to the annulment after many years because she wanted teddy to be "happy".Whatever.

Joan contributed a great deal to Teddy's career and made many sacrifices so he could be successful. She even lost a baby right after accompanying him to the funeral after Chappaquiddick.And , in spite of excoriating stage fright, she campaigned for Teddy when he had his plane accident. JFK called her the "Kennedy secret weapon".

As much as I admire and love Ted, Joan was a very valuable contributor to his life and career.

[sandnsea]

36. I've got nothing against Joan

I always thought she was fantastic. I'm just offering a couple of possible reasons she wasn't much of a part of the services.

[saracat]

52. I understand perfectly. I admire all of them, Joan Ted ,and Vickie

And Joan might well have preferred to be "low key". But it seemed to me she was made almost "invisable" and it had to be a very hard day for her as well.

[michreject]

66. There's a caveat

If one of the betrothed is not a Catholic, then the marriage never happened. Hence. No need for an annulment.

[hedgehog]

94. If one of the couple is not baptized, and/or the ceremony is not a Christian cermony,

no annulment is needed.

Which is kind of nasty if a Catholic wants to marry a non-Christian. What, aren't they married?

The hierarchy continues to amaze me.

[michreject]

96. In the eyes of the law, yes

In the eyes of the church, no.

[Freddie Stubbs]

33. It was never annulled

As far as the Catholic Church was concerned, he was still married to Joan. He married Joan in a civil ceremony, not a church one.

[sandnsea]

44. They were married by Cardinal Spellman

at St. Joseph's Church in Bronxville, New York. They got an annulment so he could marry Vicki.

[Captain Hilts]

91. Wow! Spellman mixed it up with EleanorRoosevelt -twice. And lost twice. nt

[pnwmom]

48. I read that it was eventually annulled. Often it happens after a second marriage

has occurred, and then the second marriage is "blessed."

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

99. I researched it this weekend. The marriage was annulled. It took 10 years.

[juajen]

107. Why a Rodrigue "Blue Dog"?

[H2O Man]

4. Perhaps things were

just as Joan herself wanted.

[unapatriciated]

55. thank you, the most sensible comment on this thread.

Yours is probably the closest to the truth.
There are a lot of practicing and non- practicing Catholics giving opinions on the subject of annulment. There has always been many reasons that would qualify for a marriage annulment. The process can be very long and expensive.
But hey i don't even qualify as a non-practicing Catholic, maybe a Holiday Catholic if I'm visiting my parents.
;)

[northernlights]

84. agreed

I don't know any real details because I never followed the story, but from one fairly in-depth article, Joan was always a very private person and uncomfortable with the spotlight that came from their marriage.

She may well have preferred to be in the background.

[mmonk]

92. Thank you for saying that.

His family is not known for snubs.

[Cleita]

5. I have never been to a service that was attended by former wives that

they got any acknowledgment even though they may be the mother of some his children. It seems to be the custom. I'm not saying it's right or wrong just that it seems to be that way.

[pnwmom]

7. I agree. I've never seen a former spouse being acknowledged. n/t

[xxqqqzme]

38. When my ex died, both former spouses (myself & his 3rd wife )

were acknowledged, in deed, we both spoke during the service. I spoke as the mother of our children, 3rd wife as childhood/neighborhood pal.

[pnwmom]

43. My mother had no interest in attending my father's funeral, and he had had

no plan to include her. There wasn't animosity, just twenty five years with no relationship.

And the Kennedys also divorced when their children were older. They probably didn't have much of a relationship either.

[Critters2]

62. I'm reminded of Cher's powerful eulogy at Sonny Bono's funeral.

I think that, as a culture, we're still figuring out how to handle these relationships at moments like this.

I'm glad you and your ex's third wife were both able to public acknowledge your relationship with him...and be acknowledged.

[LibDemAlways]

79. That was memorable and appropriate. And it took nothing away from

his wife Mary. Cher and Sonny had a history that no one could erase, and it seemed fitting that Cher wanted to join in the celebration of his life and the mourning over his passing.

I think a person's funeral ought to be a time for those who were close to the deceased to come together with a common purpose -to remember the life of the deceased and to acknowledge the often complex web of family and friends whose lives intersected with and touched that person.

[saracat]

10. Maybe in the case where they were on bad terms it is understandable. Not in this case.

[pnwmom]

46. My parents weren't on bad terms. But since their children were adults at the

time of the divorce, my parents didn't have a reason to maintain any connection after the divorce, and neither wished to. It never occurred to my father, planning his funeral, that my mother would be a part of it. He wanted to honor his partner and the decades they had had together.

[JohnnyLib2]

39. Same here.

But I've known of some ugly situations including having law enforcement keep someone away. This one seemed about as good as could be.

OOPS. Just read post 38. Now, that's a nice story. :thumbsup:

[DevonRex]

103. Neither have I. My father-in-law didn't attend the funeral for my mil.

It never occurred to him to do so.

The fact that Joan attended and was indeed acknowledged says a lot about the Kennedy family and it's all good.

[BlooInBloo]

6. That's the problem with thanking people. If anyone is left out, someone...

is guaranteed to whine.

[saracat]

9. She was hardly just "anyone".

[Inspired]

11. She was acknowledged by the priest during the service. She sat with the family.

I don't know but it seems like she had a place there. Plus, we have no idea what went on when the cameras weren't rolling.

[JerseygirlCT]

20. I'm glad to hear that

I hadn't seen her there.

[DURHAM D]

51. She was at several functions.

In fact she has been living near the Kennedy compound at her family's former home. She no longer owns it but has been renting for some time to be near Ted and her children.

[JerseygirlCT]

53. That's good

I was watching when I could in a hotel room - limited opportunity. And I was wondering where she was in this.

Glad to hear that she was there. That's as it should be.

[EFerrari]

12. It's kind of you to consider her, saracat.

Hard to tell what she herself might have wanted but the last I heard, she's having a rough time so she may not have been looking for attention right now.

I almost lost my mom to chronic alcoholism. She missed many family occasions and although she was beloved by the family, they always had to figure out what would be more stressful, attention or no attention.

I wish her peace.

[LaydeeBug]

14. Caroline Kennedy acknowledged Joan as his soul mate

I thought that was dear.

[saracat]

17. I am certain Caroline referred to Vicki as Ted's "soulmate"

as did almost ALL the speakers.

[VMI Dem]

25. No, she identified Jean as Ted's soulmate.

[saracat]

31. You are correct, it was Jean. Jean was the sister closest to him.

but it was not "Joan".

[Ilsa]

49. IF people are reincarnated, and IF they have any choice in the matter,

I suspect alot of the Kennedy siblings, spouses, exes, etc, reincarnate to be in one another's lives again.

[robinlynne]

22. not Joan, Vicky.

[VMI Dem]

27. Wrong, it was Jean.

[EFerrari]

30. Yup. Jean. n/t

[defendandprotect]

75. Yes . . .and very interesting description . . "soul mate" . .

Oops . . . I see now this was JEAN that Caroline was talking about!!

That makes sense.

[Sebastian Doyle]

15. I can't imagine that her own kids would have purposely excluded her

so I would therefore have to conclude that Joan was on board with how it was done.

[CTyankee]

16. I know some ex spouses who don't even attend funerals of their ex spouses.

I often wondered what I would do with my ex spouse.

I think I would probably go to his service. We do share grandchildren and I wouldn't want to be seen by them as uncaring. so I'd do it.

I'm glad Joan went. She looked like she'd been thru the wars. I felt so bad for her. I remember her back in the 60s as a rather pretty blonde, not as interesting looking as Jackie but attractive. Jackie obliterated so many of the Kennedy women it was tough to compete...

[Libby2]

18. Maybe she didn't want to be in the limelight. n/t

[JerseygirlCT]

19. I agree

That wasn't right.

[undeterred]

21. I knew of a funeral where they never referred to the man's

ex-wife or three sons- and he had never remarried or had more children. It was hurtful that their existence wasn't even acknowledged.

Whoever puts on the funeral pretty much gets to tell the life story.

[LibDemAlways]

23. As Sen. Kennedy's ex, Joan is no typical ex-spouse. She's the

one who was there at the beginning to celebrate spectacular success, and she saw him through a series of horrific events that played out in public. They also raised three children together, and together they faced the agony of their son losing his leg to cancer. It would not have taken anything away from Vicki for Joan to have been acknowledged more prominently. If she asked to be deliberately downplayed, fine. If she didn't, she didn't get her due.

[saracat]

32. Thank you.I agree.

[EFerrari]

35. Most of their friends knew that together, she and Ted were destroying each other

and they focused on the more positive partnership.

It's not very hard to understand how that happened especially when you consider those people were grieving.

This wasn't the "Get your credit here" forum, it was a funeral.

[saracat]

58. I was never implying that it was. And as far as"most of their friends knew..."

there are many sides to the Story of Ted and Joan, and she was the one that wanted out.
It just seems to me difficult to talk about ted's career and his role as a "family man" without mentioning Joan. She was at his side for all the major events of his life.Just my opinion.

[EFerrari]

64. It's always too easy to look from the outside in, agreed.

:hug:

[defendandprotect]

74. She also campaigned for Ted while he was recovering from the plane "accident" . . !!!

[LibDemAlways]

78. That certainly deserved a mention. Her role in launching his

political career was an important one, and she stepped up to the plate under difficult circumstances and got the job done.

[defendandprotect]

100. I've also been reading that she's done a lot of work for the arts in Boston?

At least in Boston -- I'm not that familiar with all of her work.

She was an accomplished pianist, though we often hear more about her modeling career.

I also liked her comments ... which I cannot quote verbatim . . . but re health issues,

she voiced her doubt that our "environment" has nothing to do with the cancers and

asthma so many Americans are suffering, but which her family has had to specifically

deal with.

Joan, her daughter Kara -- and finally Teddy -- and, of course, her son Edward have all

had cancer. Her son Patrick, Asthma -- at least as a child.

:)

[no_hypocrisy]

24. I attended a memorial once where the first wife announced to

everyone that she had loved her ex-husband more than all the persons in the room. In front of his current widow. And the latter was fine with it all. The man had passed and there was a lot of love in the room and no need to have a pecking order of wives and ex-wives.

[Zen Democrat]

26. Exes haven't been acknowledged at any funeral I've ever been to.

Joan's presence, in my opinion, would be to support her children. She was at Hyannis Port on Thursday morning for the mass and was part of the motorcade to the Library. She was part of of the family group greeting the public at the Library. In fact, she was included as part of the family in all the events. The priest acknowledged her by name during the funeral. I thought it was all done in good taste and with a lot of warmth and understanding.

[MichiganVote]

34. Joan Kennedy has not been left unacknowledged. She is and has always been a very private person.

She is also a continually recovering alcoholic, she is being treated for mental illness and she is under a court guardian WITH the support of her children due to her recurring alcoholism and subsequent inability to be and stay safe. She did not begin drinking because of Ted, Ted and the Kennedy's or Chappaquidick or for any other reason related to Ted Kennedy. Rather, she had begun drinking long before these events or before Ted's reported infidelity. Both of her parents were alcoholic. Both Teddy Jr. and Patrick have acknowledged seeking treatment for drug/alcohol addiction back in the 80's.

They separated long before an official divorce and later annulment. Ted always treated her well and they remained on friendly terms. She was nearby in her own Cape Cod home at the time of his death to lend support to her children.

Time to end some of the myths surrounding Joan Kennedy. Ted Kennedy has always said that it was Vicki Kennedy who brought him grace to change his life. If that's how he felt about it then what the hell difference does it make to any of us?

[EFerrari]

37. Instead of feeding resentment, we should be congratulating Joan

for being there for her kids this weekend.

That must have been very difficult and she deserves all the credit in the world for doing that for them.

[MichiganVote]

41. And I agree with your sentiment that she deserves credit for being there.

As a family they struggled and they have redeemed themselves. Like the rest of the families in America.

[EFerrari]

47. How do we get to Carnegie Hall?

:)

[MichiganVote]

50. :)

[JohnnyLib2]

42. Yes!

[saracat]

56. Perhaps you haven't read her book? "Living with the Kennedy's"?

And Ted also had a 'drinking problem" but it seems different when it is the male. And while there was a predisposition to alcohol addiction in her family, she did , in fact only develop her problem after some of the terrible pressures inflicted on her by the so called "political life".

And no one know how well Ted did or did not treat her. She did have to go back and negotiate her divorce settlement twice.Ted actually asked her to wait to renegotiate till after a campaign, and she did.

Vicki may have helped ted during his later years but Joan made Ted possible. They are all to be admired.

[MichiganVote]

60. Suit yourself. Their addiction alcohol is well documented. As is the more recent info.

[saracat]

70. I agree that the aloholism is well known but it is also true that it can be aggravated by

stress and emotional abuse.Teddyb also had a problem with the drink as did several other members of the family and it seems more emphasis is placed on Joan and i think it is a bit unfair, while I do not deny anyones struggle with the addiction.

[inna]

80. "Rather, she had begun drinking long before these events or before Ted's reported infidelity. "

not true, according to everything i've read.

could you source your claim?

[saracat]

81. That is certainly not true.

[H2O Man]

86. True, but

there are people -- even on GU -- who resent Ted Kennedy for his choice in January of 2008, and who will look to find a victim role in every situation. What Joan wants and needs comes second to their needs.

[tnlefty]

40. A priest did mentiion her, and she was included in the services.

Perhaps instead of being with her grown children she was with the grandchildren?

I know that it was a relief for me to know that my Mom was helping to keep an eye out for my sons when my father died,(they divorced many years ago) and I tried to comfort them when she couldn't. It was really nice when my inlaws took them home with them during visitation. They were much older when my dear MIL died earlier this month, but my Mom was there again, helping me to keep an eye on them. Perhaps Joan felt that her role was to be with her grandchildren, and I have the utmost respect for her if she could/can help them get through their loss.

I read that she rented a house that her family used to own, so that she was nearby.

[morningglory]

45. She raised some beautiful children! nt

[DURHAM D]

54. Not only was Joan at the funeral the camera was on her when she went to speak with George Bush.

You could tell from the expression on his face that he had absolutely no idea who she was. He could not get away from her quickly enough. Didn't anyone else see it?

[saracat]

57. I never saw Joan with anyone.The only time i saw the camera on her was when Teddy Jr. spoke

and she looked so proud.As far as DW, what would one expect??????

[MichiganVote]

61. She spoke with George Bush and Hillary Clinton.

[pipi_k]

59. Well, this is only my own experience, but...

When my first ex husband died, and even though I was the mother of his kids, I wasn't acknowledged and it didn't bother me. I was the first wife, and the only one acknowledged was his third wife, to whom he was still married when he died.

When my second husband died, we were separated but still married. Again, no mention (no kids from that marriage) and it didn't bother me.

Granted, I didn't spend the same number of years of my life with either as Joan did with Teddy, but still... I think I would have been embarrassed to have had attention drawn to me in any way and I'm glad nobody did.

:shrug:

[stanwyck]

63. I'm still annoyed with Mike Barnacle and his insensitivity concerning Joan

He stated during a brief bio of Ted Kennedy's life on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" that Teddy "finally found love" when he met Vickie? Really? He was married to Joan for over 20 years, had children with her, and she was there for him during all the tragedies of half his political life. But he "finally found love" when he met Vickie? I found that a very insensitive statement.

[saracat]

72. Mike barnacle is an ass. he was also an ass during the primary and the election.

And he wasn't the only one .As evidenced by some on this thread, apparently some think Joan shouldn't exist or should disappear.

[defendandprotect]

76. Agree . . . that's the kind of insensitivity I heard . . great, acknowledge Vicky . . .

but don't suggest that Joan was a nothing, except a total failure!!!

Maybe I missed better comments --

I feel sympathetic to Joan -- and I do think she had a drinking problem quite

early on -- maybe even when JFK was still alive? Seems many of them used to

point to her and make fun of it -- call her a drunk?

[Captain Hilts]

90. Barnacle is a sexist jerk. Nothing new there. nt

[AngryOldDem]

95. I heard that a lot, from various sources.

Even at the funeral, I think, someone made a reference to Vicki being the love of Ted's life. I wonder how that made Joan feel.

[UTUSN]

65. Uh, the lady *was* acknowledged and escorted by her son.

As I recall, she was declared mentally incompetent by a court, meaning that a Guardian was appointed.

I thought it was INCREDIBLY sensitive that her son escorted her to the ceremonies.

[UTUSN]

68. Kick for emphasis. n/t

[saracat]

71. Actually, that isn't quite correct. Joan actually won her battle with the

court and a court appointed administrator was appointed but she wasn't declared incompetant.And what was sensitiveabout her son escorting her? She was his mother! Who else should have done it? Or perhaps you think she shouldn't have gone?

[DevonRex]

104. I agree. This OP is false on its face. nt

[TayTay]

67. Maybe it was her wish to attend in a lowkey fashion

In which case, it would have been very wounding to have drawn attention to her and very much against her wishes and that of her children.

Perhaps, before implying some negative intent, we could check and see what Joan wanted. Perhaps, just perhaps, this was exactly what she wanted and her family did right by her here.

Not everyone loves the spotlight. Some are burned by it. Some love those who keep them from it.

[Peregrine Took]

69. One priest menioned her prominently. n/t

[defendandprotect]

73. The C-span camera did show her sitting right behind her children . . .

and I thought she must be very proud of them -- I think she was sitting with her

grandchildren?

Joan has commented how grateful she was that Ted Kennedy was the father
of her children because of the medical care he got for them --!!!!

Joan has had breast cancer of some kind --
Kara had a cancerous tumor on a lung --
And, Edward, of course, had a leg amputation due to cancer.

Yes -- I appreciate that no one was going to make much of the first marriage --
but I thought it must have been rather hurtful when people were saying how wonderful
a wife Vicky was and how happy she made Ted. Almost as though Joan had failed rather
than two people having failed.

There are some strange reports of that hook-up . . . I've read that Joan evidently
changed her mind about marrying Ted or felt he was pushing her to marry him. Her
father seems to have tried to tell Ted that it was off -- and that seems to have been
met with a threat?

Joan's family evidently had lots of problems with alcohol -- a seemingly truly hereditary
situation? And, so too the son, Patrick. Didn't realize he wasn't married. I had seen
him often with children around him -- affection both ways.

[Mass]

77. It was his funeral. It was about him, not his wifes, kids, ...

She was there. She was photographed with Vicky. She was also at his home. Clearly, she was not cut from the ceremonies.

What exactly would it have given to anybody that somebody say "thank you"? I am very confused about why people want to make a big story about this.

In addition, given how the media treated her (and still do), are you sure she and her kids would have wanted to have her be acknowledged?

[saracat]

83. Why not? She contributed a lot to what made Ted the pol he was.

The media have always made a big deal about ALL the Kennedy flaws. Joan was not an exception.Are you saying they should have been "ashamed" of her? Then why not cut Patrick who talked about his own problems with addiction? And Ted Jr, also an alcoholic. And Ted himself also had a drinking problem and many of the nephews RFK Jr and Joseph P Kennedy111 among them had drug problems. Maybe Will Kennedy Smith shouldn't have been there. He reminds folks of an unpleasant incident too!

Why is Joan looked at as someone to be so much more ashamed of than anyone else? All I am saying is that if they wanted to thank anyone for contributing to Ted's life, Joan would have had to have been on that list. They mentioned many others and it seemed as though Joan was treated as though she contributed little. Whatever. It is possible she wanted to be quiet.I just felt sad for her.
24 years and 3 children forms a Bond even if she did divorce him. But in the end, they all performed admirably.And Teddy was the ultimate statesmen.

[LiberalAndProud]

82. I think she would have hated the spotlight.

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1314&dat=19790624&id=yuURAAAAIBAJ&sjid=Ie4DAAAAIBAJ&pg=7255,4214584

She is a lovely, courageous woman. I wish her good things.

[Hekate]

85. I noticed that Joan was acknowledged as among the mourners present....

I thought that was kind and more than appropriate.

Someone in this thread mentioned Cher speaking at Sonny Bono's funeral. Cher is a very public figure with a robust persona. Joan Kennedy is a fragile woman and does not look well -- it would have been somewhat bizarre for her to speak at this time.

I did not know that Joan, an alcoholic so out of control for so many years that her children were finally made her guardian 5 years ago, "is a champion of the causes of the disabled and mentally handicapped." Are you sure you do not have her confused with the recently-deceased Eunice Kennedy Shriver, founder of the Special Olympics? Joan has been in and out of rehab -- periodically over the years she would surface and give an interview saying that she was all better now, only to disappear again into her illness. I didn't even know she was still alive at this point, frankly.

Looking at film and photos of Joan at both the memorial service and the funeral made me think that she looked fragile and shaky, and that perhaps it was entirely enough for her to just be there.

Hekate

[blogslut]

87. It's none of my business

Let that family mourn the way they choose to mourn.

[endarkenment]

88. Except of course that she was.

As usual we are off looking for clouds around the silver linings. She was there, she was acknowledged. She was not his wife when he died, Vicki was, and had been for 17 years. Nothing inappropriate happened.

[Are_grits_groceries]

89. Teddy had time to plan the ceremonies.

I cannot imagine that he would have callously overlooked Joan. It would have been hurtful to his children and I can't imagine him doing that. I also believe it was a delicate situation.

I would think that Joan's role in the ceremonies and any acknowlegdement of her would have been given careful and sensitive thought.

It may be that she didn't want to be in the spotlight for even a short moment. Joan probably well remembers the stories that followed any action of the Kennedy's. She may have said that she preferred no prominent mention of her role in Teddy's life.

I don't know. I believe that what was done was by design, and a decision for them to make. I have no criticism and I respect what they did.

[saltpoint]

97. So, saracat, would you then urge Joan to call a press conference to

belllyache that insufficient attention was paid to her in the eulogies?

The family in charge makes those decisions. Not you.

As other posters have indicated, Joan was acknowledged. There was no snub. You've manufactured yet another grievance out of thin air.

[saracat]

105. Don't be silly. Or sarcastic. I am not manufacturing a grievance just stating my opinion

But I guess some don't think I am entitled to one. Why can't we agree to disagree? I posted the Huffpo link to affirm others share my opinion.Others share yours.These are just opinions.

[saltpoint]

106. A good number of us know all about opinions.

[dugaresa]

98. Ted helped plan his funeral and remember that only he and Joan knew what went on in their marriage

loads of people are married til death and aren't all that compatible. I have a dear friend that once confided to me that he had wished and still wishes his parents would divorce because the animosity between the two of them is unbearable and he can't stand to be around them due in part to that environment.

Joan and Ted were married a long time, appeared to be happy but no one knows but the two of them what went on in that marriage and both of them probably had their own views.

She was there at the funeral and even attended Eunice's the week before. She was acknowledged by a priest during the ceremony.

Perhaps she didn't want to be front and center? She has had some problems in recent years and perhaps didn't want to be in the limelight.

[DevonRex]

101. Wow. I expect the funeral was conducted exactly as the family wished.

They wished to include Joan and they did. Beyond that, this is absolutely none of your business or ours.

[Carni]

102. One of the Priests did mention her

I can't tell you exactly when, but I heard him mention her as well as the rest of the family as he was giving his condolences.

The reason I took note, is because I had not seen her shown on camera and the Priest's comments lead me to believe that she was indeed there.