Top Ten Reasons Why "48 Hours" Producer Tried To Blackmail Letterman

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

(Satire from www.TheDesperateBlogger.com)

While it is unfortunately not unusual for David Letterman to be the target of an extortion plot (in 2005, a plot to kidnap and ransom his then-infant son was thwarted) it came as a shock to most observers that the alleged extortionist in this case is a producer for the CBS News crime show “48 Hours” — in other words an employee of the same network as Letterman.

This of course begs the question: Why would Robert “Joe” Halderman attempt to blackmail Letterman?

Here are the Top Ten reasons:

10. Wasn’t getting sex himself and decided to make somebody pay

9. Dick Cheney put him up to it

8. Overzealous Conan fan trying to boost ratings

7. Tired of being behind camera, wanted to get in front of one

6. Figured “for $2 million, what the hell?”

5. Always wanted to do an autobiographical 48 Hours episode

4. To raise money for Palin 2012 Presidential campaign

3. Watched too much of his own show and something ‘just snapped’

2. His Manhattan apartment just came off rent control

And the Number One Reason Is:

1. John Ensign’s parents said “no” this time

[johnfunk]

1. ROFLMFAO

[malaise]

2. Wicked funny

:rofl:

[Hepburn]

3. LMBO....

...#1 got me totally! :rofl:

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

6. Ironically...

the subject of #1 is the poster boy for "#2"...

[havocmom]

4. That list is perfection

now, what will take hot chocolate off a computer monitor?

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

5. Actually...

I still have some phlegm from a 20 year old Persian cat who died last Spring that I can't remove from my monitor...

I've never encountered anything more stubborn on a screen...

want some????

[havocmom]

7. LOL I'll pass

and you remind me of someone.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

8. go on...

[havocmom]

9. I'll pass again

:D

[rocktivity]

10. According to Randi Rhodes

The blackmailer got the info about Dave from a diary he found of the woman staffer who had also slept with HIM. She also pointed out that Dave was single at the time and has been only until March of this year. If his longtime girlfriend-turn-wife had no complaints about the arrangements, that is nobody's business but theirs.

"I'm not saying that there is no such thing as sexual harassment. 'Sleep with me or you're fired'--THAT'S sexual harassment. Anything else falls into the category of 'just trying to get laid'!"
-- Chris Rock


rocktivity