#conservativeBible - Where the twitters are rewritng the Bible for conservatives. LOL

[Are_grits_groceries]

MichaelShatz: RT @ProgressivePam: In the beginning was the Word, and the Lord said, "Please feel free to rewrite it any time you like."

TMGLost: Luke 10:27 "Love Private Property with all your heart, soul and mind and love your Investment Advisor as yourself"

mearseyparadise: O Beck, where is thy sting?

natesjol: RT @Wisco: Whatever you did unto the least of Me, you did because you're a freakin' commie

spacetrucker: RT @ProgressivePam & Moses delivered the tablets saying, "Here are God's 10 Commandments. Pick & choose as u see fit."

Archnemysis: RT @CelluloidBlonde: In the new #ConservativeBible, Jesus suggests lepers hold a bake sale.

hawkrew: RT @ELDING: Jesus said to Lazarus, "I'd raise you, but 'death' is a Pre-Existing Condition."

jtyroler: #conservativebible Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, unless you move your corporation off shore

Chav_E: RT @AlinskyDefeater: A soft answer turneth away wrath,but calling people racist is a lot more fun.

http://twitter.com/search?q=%23conservativeBible

*snort* Heh!

[Are_grits_groceries]

1. I think this is what the conservatives would like to say. nt

[BurtWorm]

2. In the beginning, God created the heavens and USA! USA! USA!....

[gratuitous]

3. Let's see, let's just tighten up some of this wordiness

Thou shalt steal.

Thou shalt not admit adultery.

Honor thy folio and thy money.

One man cannot serve two masters. So if the choice is between God and mammon, remember that mammon will buy you things that God forgot to give you.

[FSogol]

4. "God is Great" which translates to "We're Number One!" - Gary Trudeau n/t

[Ruby the Liberal]

5. Ok, thats hilarious! More:

mearseyparadise By the rivers of Babylon Beck sat and wept when he remembered a strong and vital pre-9/11 America.

jeremyscahill: In the #conservativebible, RamboChrist guns down the rabble who overturn the money changers' table in the temple.

"Remember the poor. They should get jobs & buy their own health insurance." Galatians 2:10 #conservativebible

mearseyparadise Why dost thou strive against him? For he giveth not account of any of his birth certificate? #conservativebible

[Ruby the Liberal]

6. Bwa!!

God instructed him to attack Iraq for 7 years......And on the 8th year he destroyed the economy. #conservativebible

And God said unto Adam: "Launching ballistic missiles will make your dick look bigger." #conservativebible

#conservativebible On the 7th day, the Lord rested....and cleaned his guns

Blessed r the meek. For they will inherit nothing while voting tax cuts for the rich. #conservativebible

"Blessed are the deregulators, for they shall be called sons of Adam Smith. #conservativebible

Blessed are the poor, for they have access to ER, and really, that's all they need. #ConservativeBible

"the powers that be are ordained of God..." unless they are black and a Democrat. #conservativebible

[BurtWorm]

7. Thou shalt not stick -ic on Democrat, be it noun or adjective.

[Froward69]

8. Do unto others Before they do unto you...

[starroute]

9. That last one in the OP is a lame conservative intrusion

I was looking at #conservativebible a little while ago. A few conservatives are trying to sneak lame anti-Obama tweets into the discussion and AlinskyDefeater is the most prolific. The one quoted in the OP is apparently meant to suggest that calling Beck or Limbaugh a racist is unchristian.

You can tell the conservative twitterers by the other tags they use -- generally #tcot (top conservatives on Twitter) and #liberalbible (a meaningless invention resulting from the right-wing tendency to resort to "monkey see, monkey do" whenever they have no better come-back.)

The real #conservativebible tweets are generally liminted to that tag or #p2 -- progressives 2.0.

I haven't seen anybody actually trying to defend Conservapedia -- just the usual teabagger snarkiness.

[Ruby the Liberal]

10. If you aren't following Progressive Pam

She is slinging some really funny stuff on the tag.

http://twitter.com/ProgressivePam