The worst crime? A Fear That Can't Be Locked Away

[Are_grits_groceries]

<snip>

I was stalked long ago, before there were reports on stalking, before we even had a name for it. I first met my stalker, a fellow journalism student, when he asked to interview me as part of a class assignment. We sat outside, he asked me a few questions, and that was it -- until his professor pulled me aside about a week later. She was worried, she said, about the tone of his story. She wouldn't show it to me, not because of privacy concerns but because she didn't want to upset me.

That was the beginning of two years of what I would describe as near-unrelenting hell. My stalker also wanted to be a sportswriter, so I saw him nearly every day, at every football and basketball practice, at every game, and of course every day in the halls of the J-school. I was always there, in the newsroom of the student paper, which had a glass front facing the hallway that led into the building. My stalker became a fixture at those windows, standing and staring in at me.
<snip>
The letters -- it's hard to talk about them, even after nearly 30 years.
<snip>
The fear didn't stop. Not for a long time. For years, reaching into a mailbox was an ordeal. Even now, when I see an envelope addressed in unfamiliar handwriting, I get that old familiar frisson of fear. I have resisted all suggestions to create a Facebook page because of my stalker. I hesitated a long time before writing this, and more time before giving it to my editor, because I don't want this column to be seen as encouragement to my stalker.
<snip>
As hard as it is to remove a video from the Internet, that's how hard it is to remove that kind of fear from your mind. And that's why I'm tired of the endless debate about whether Andrews somehow "asked for it." Just stop. Believe me, no one asks for this.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/13/AR2009101301768.html?hpid%3Dnews-col-blog&sub=AR

Top 3.

[murielm99]

1. One of my neighbors was stalked for about two years.

She is an attractive thirty year old with two little girls.

There was so little she and her husband could do to protect themselves. She worried constantly about the safety of her husband and children.

Finally, it just stopped. Many stalkers find a new target.

This is such scary stuff. I would not wish it on anyone.

[Are_grits_groceries]

2. A lot of them are of them are sociopaths. They can't be cured.

"I hesitated a long time before writing this, and more time before giving it to my editor, because I don't want this column to be seen as encouragement to my stalker."

30 fricking years later, and she is still scared of him. This is a familiar feeling for people who have been stalked.

Penalties need to be much harsher.

[vadawg]

4. My advice whenever i deal with people being stalked is yes get the RO

then get thee hence to the gunshop and buy a piece, and learn how to use it. The chances of me being there if the stalker goes radio rental is low but the chances of you having your weapon are high...

[Are_grits_groceries]

7. I would have to agree.

They can't be cured or deterred. Cops I know say it's the worst crime.

ROs are generally useless to a true stalker.

[Berry Cool]

3. What an awful story. What a shame she didn't know even ordinary people get stalked.

And how bad is it that people still don't understand how bad it is?

[lunatica]

5. I was stalked when I was in college in the early 70s

It's terrifying. He would follow me everywhere. He would date girls who knew me and talk about me and they would come to me and tell me how mean I was to him and that he loved me so much. He would wait outside my classes and my dorm. He would literally hide in the bushes and jump out at me. He would call the dorm constantly. I literally feared for my life, especially since his older brother took me aside and told me how crazy he was and that he feared him.

He stopped after a couple of my men friends confronted him and warned him to leave me alone. I don't know what they said to him but he stayed away after that. But my fear didn't go away until I left that college. Stalkers really fuck with your head.

[Are_grits_groceries]

6. That's why is is such a horrible crime.

It can screw you up for the rest of your life.