Attorney Orly Taitz asked me to give false testimony in open court ....

[tabatha]

http://www.scribd.com/doc/21451147/Lucas-Daniel-Smith-10-12-09-new-Declaration-SACV09-00082-DOC-Anx

Read all about it.

[ZombieHorde]

1. Juicy stuff! K&R&nt

[tonysam]

3. I try to avoid threads about "Orly Taitz."

I mean, what kind of name is that? It sounds like the brand name of frozen French fries.

[Angry Dragon]

35. That is the strangest thing I have ever read!!! ...... n/t

[Seldona]

57. I would have to agree.

That is beyond bizarre. Orly is in some serious trouble, to say the least.

[blondeatlast]

2. Oooooh--check out paragraph V...

Can you say disbarment? Paragraph V can, does--and conspiracy as well.

:wow:

[Hepburn]

6. Holy shit....

...the description of sex with Orly...on file in a federal court proceeding!!!

I swear to gawd I am reading something from the Onion!

[tabatha]

8. It has to be the most bizarre thing I have ever read.

Wait until John Stewart gets hold of it.

[Hepburn]

9. I just emailed a link to that dec to a few of my atty pals...

...this is just unbelievable....

:rofl:

[merh]

15. A paradox it is.

:rofl:



(see the last line of the long first paragraph on page 7).


:rofl:

[LLStarks]

121. Send this to Rachel and Keith. They'll have a field day with it. nt

[Catshrink]

52. Send it to the Daily Show!

[blondeatlast]

12. You just can't make this stuff up, you just can't. I'm rolling on the floor laughing--and shocked

at the same time.

Just... :wow:

[Hepburn]

14. I am laughing so hard....

...tears running down my cheeks...and the dang dog is barking her butt off cuz I am absolutely howling.

ROFPIMPLMBO...pounding my fists on the floor, too! :rofl:

[malaise]

45. hahahaahahaha

This is hilarious :rofl:

[merh]

28. I predict that the "nobel" Charles Lincoln III will be stop

playing host to Smith and paying his way.

:rofl:

[rebel with a cause]

103. Shocking that the "noble" Charles LIncoln III is disbarred

and yet he is the legal eagle behind the birther movement. No shock that Orly is an idiot and incapable of handling any legal case herself. Smith sounds like a winner also. What fits this situation better.."Politics make strange bedfellows", "If you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas", "One bad turn deserves another" or better yet " the inmates are running the asylum (lawsuit in this case)"?

[donf]

33. I bet the worst thing about having sex with Olry

(besides the everlasting shame and regret) is hearing her scream, "Let me finish!!! Let me finish!!!" incessantly.

[Hepburn]

34. DUZY!!!!! Absolute DUZY material!

:rofl:

[eomer]

39. I'm rec'ing this thread just for your post.

Well played, sir!

And welcome to DU.

[Canuckistanian]

42. ROFL

:rofl:

[malaise]

44. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

:rofl:

[leftynyc]

46. That's BRILLIANT

If this is indicative of your future offerings on DU, I give you a hearty Welcome Aboard.

[blondeatlast]

55. Dupe/delete. nt

[blondeatlast]

56. OMG, I can't breathe for laughing so hard! nt

[myrna minx]

58. .

:spray: :rofl:

[Barack_America]

65. I tip my hat.

That's a hell of a way to introduce yourself to DU.

Welcome!

[beac]

73. .

:rofl:

Give a WHOLE new meaning to the opening line "COMES NOW the Declarant..."

[tomm2thumbs]

74. bwahahahahaha!!!

[Gregorian]

76. That, and "Is it in? It's in! No it isn't!. Prove to me that it's in!"

Hahaha. (She's finished!)

[B3Nut]

82. ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!

Sweet Jesus that's hilarious! :rofl:

[LTR]

144. Second worst: Seeing what's under her bad wig

:scared:

[Hepburn]

4. OMG....

....totally down the rabbit hole.

What the hell are these people smoking???

:wow:

[blondeatlast]

5. I knew Lincoln was the "brains" behind the bubbled blonde and the false eyelashes... nt

[Hepburn]

7. Well, it seems like he works at both ends of her...

...Page nine of this dec is UNBELIEVABLE! He is talking about how "wet" and "tight" Orly is ~~ and I do not mean between the ears!

:wow:

[blondeatlast]

13. LULZ! nt

[dmr]

19. "Not between the ears!"

OMG! That hit me right in the funny bone!
:rofl:

[TheWraith]

20. Oh. My. GOD.

I thought you had to be joking. And I find out that you were TONING IT DOWN.

[Hepburn]

21. Can you imagine the law clerk who has to summarize this pleading for the court?

Ummmmmmmm....well, your Honor....

:rofl:

[myrna minx]

60. I can't believe that I just read that.

*shudders*

[Sheltiemama]

132. I think I'm too young to read that.

I'm just 42!

[Gregorian]

10. "She's crazy. She's a bitch. In fact she's a crazy bitch..."

Geez, this is quite entertaining. I can't wait for the Daily Show to reconvene next week!


So the name Orly is really quite appropriate, whatever I mean by that. :)

[Hepburn]

11. LMBO....

....:rofl:

[blondeatlast]

16. Well, at least the fair dentist doesn't use teeth (Oh, dear me, I went there...) nt

[Hepburn]

18. Oh, shit....

...I just spewed Diet Coke all over my keyboard.... :rofl:

[Greyskye]

24. She has to draw the line *somewhere*!

:spray:

[PopSixSquish]

123. That Deserves a Great Big Ole "Oh No You Didn't!!"

:spank:



:applause:

[PatGund]

85. It's a Quid Pro Pro situation

Dr. Orly fills the cavities of Charles E. Lincoln III, and then he fills her cavities.....

[Hepburn]

89. Another DUZY!!!

:rofl:

This thread just keeps on giving!

[pnwmom]

17. Every single one of these people is insane in his or her own way.

This document is truly bizarre.

[spooky3]

129. that was exactly my reaction.

Orly seemed to like the term "piece of shit." I'd say it applies to all the characters in this drama.

[Vickers]

22. The funniest part is, that dude STILL thinks Obama was born in Kenya.

:crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy:

[Omnibus]

26. Just goes to show you, there are different levels of crazy.

He's crazy, but she's fucking INSANE.

[Vickers]

29. The whole lot of 'em is fucked up. That "Honorable" Lincoln guy he drones

on and on about is (a) disbarred, (b) foreclosed on, and (c) attracted to Orly Taitz!

:rofl:

[Trekologer]

41. ...a shame it is.

n/t

[krispos42]

37. And insanely fucking...

:hide:

[maglatinavi]

31. orly

I thought this was a joke by some bored dude!!! You mean it was for real??? Holy shit!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Hepburn]

32. It is from the feddie court filing system...

...I wish to hell I was a fly on the wall in chambers when the judge reads this pleading!

:rofl:

[waiting for hope]

133. And after all of this - who is going to believe him?

It looks like to me his reasons fro dumping on Taitz is because she didn't pay him... sounds like his info is for sale.

[ginnyinWI]

23. ick.

sorry I delved into this and read half of it.

[blondeatlast]

25. "Even middle school students who watch Law And Order know better than this." Priceless... nt

[yellowcanine]

70. Except he actually wrote "....no(sic)better than this"

[dgauss]

27. Crazy from section I to the final exhibit and signature. Flat out crazy.

[ConsAreLiars]

30. I think the short and more polite version is that they are both literally "fucking insane." (nt)

[merh]

36. He states that the nobel Charles Lincoln III

is a disbarred attorney. (Apparently California disbarred him in 2003.)

Charles Lincoln III Disbarment - CA State Bar Court - State Bar Court 2003 - FALSE SSN - Felony

[merh]

53. This is worth a mid morning kick

[PatGund]

98. Not just California.

Florida disbarred him, and Texas gave him the choice to give up his license for good rather than be disbarred.

[merh]

102. but according to declarant Smith, he is nobel.

:eyes:

[libodem]

38. OMG

That was screamingly funny. The sex maniac stuff killed me. She is an oily taint.

[tavalon]

69. That's been my nickname for her since I first heard her name

[TexasObserver]

40. Apparently, our Oily Taint moniker is more accurate than we realized.

She's a slippery one.

[blondeatlast]

43. But the good dentist doesn't use her teeth for illicit purposes, at least... nt

[TexasObserver]

115. You read it, too!! As if our mental picture of Oily couldn't get worse.

Honestly, I hope Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer are working on a script about her and all this. This has the makings of a comedy, and the woman to star as Oily Taint? Awesomely funny comedic actress Jane Lynch.

[blondeatlast]

125. You know who would make a spot-on Orly?

Fran Drescher. I know lots of people find her annoying, but, well--she'd make a spot-on Orly. Dead to rights!

[TexasObserver]

131. She's another one.

It would be a great role. She's sooooo nuts. And that wild eyed look of hers.

She's the most uniquely bizarre lawyer to hit the scene in over 30 years. Maybe 40.

[LynneSin]

47. So that's what they teach you in these mail order law schools

:eyes:

The world will be safer when numnuts like this are debarred. While they're at it - take the damn dental drill out of her hand too!

[blondeatlast]

49. Delete. nt

[Hissyspit]

48. Aaaaagh! (Re: Orly Taitz Sex Talk)

Aaaaagh!

Aaaaagh!















Aaaaagh!





































Aaaaagh!

[SidDithers]

50. What a train wreck that whole "birther" movement is...

but it sure makes for juicy reading :)

Sid

[blondeatlast]

54. The story is semi-compelling, but the characters are pure gold--to a one. nt

[kwassa]

51. This would make a great comedy movie. Orly is the gift that keeps on giving.

She is incredibly entertaining.

[tammywammy]

59. Bookmarked to read when I get home

I can't access the link while at work. I need a good laugh.

[Hepburn]

61. You might want to warn your family or neighbors that what they will hear...

...coming from you as you read this ~~ you really are OK!

This is the funniest "legal" document I have read in a long, long time!

:rofl:

[tammywammy]

62. I was disappointed the site's blocked at work

But then again, I am busy today and my boss would wonder what the heck is wrong with me if I was sitting in here laughing to myself.

:hi:

[Hepburn]

63. You will ROFL....

....I was howling so loud last evening that my dog started running around and barking.

This dec is pure comedy.

Edit for typo

[tammywammy]

136. OMG!!!

I just read it! :rofl:

[gratuitous]

64. You and me both

Nertz. It sounds almost as good as the complaint I read from a couple of decades ago about a guy who constantly farted on, around and in the presence of, the plaintiff, a co-worker. My boss at the time actually called the attorney who filed the complaint, who was quite defensive about it, and kept insisting that it was a legitimate case. I never did hear what the outcome was.

[tammywammy]

67. That sounds too funny! n/t

[Hepburn]

66. For the cube rats....

...here is a link to a DU thread with some slices of delight from the dec:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6839910

Enjoy...:hi:

[tabatha]

68. Stephanie has been on top of this story as well

See a long discussion here about whether this is valid or not:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/10/22/796125/-Truth-or-Prank-Orlys-Star-Witness-Tells-All-(New-Clue)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6839910

[Hepburn]

72. Well, it is filed apparently with the Feddie Court in the OC action.

So...it most likely was filed. But...this sounds soooooo freaking much like something from the Onion, that it truly is hard to believe it is for really real!

:hi:

[Hepburn]

75. Wow...did you check out the signature comparisons?

I have done a little, very little, but some intense cases with QD issues. And to me, the signatures look very identical. But, yes, they can be photoshopped on to the point of looking like and original. An electron microscope could be used to try and show the difference between ink and toner. But according to one expert I know, that is even getting to be a difficult task.

However, it sure does look like the same signature.

[tabatha]

79. Yes, they are a perfect match

maybe, too perfect?

But the one of this doc looks darker.

[Hepburn]

87. Photoshop is am amazing tool...

....unbelievable what can be done with it.

[merh]

83. As of this morning this declaration has not been filed

in the civil case.

[tabatha]

84. Maybe they don't know what to do with it.

It is so bizarre.

[Hepburn]

88. I am thinking, tho, that the supposed declarant by now would have heard about this...

...and if it were a fake, he would have said something?

:shrug:

[blondeatlast]

90. My thoughts exactly. He seems familiar enough with the 'nets.

If only it were Monday instead of Friday. Please, please, Lord (or whom/whatever) make this be real...

:rofl:

[Hepburn]

92. I cannot imagine either that the supposed declarant has no clue...

...assuming this is a hoax.

And, yeah, add me to your prayer chain that this is for real and add the following request: When this turns out for real, let me be a fly on the wall in the judge's chambers when he reads this dec for the first time!

:hi:

[blondeatlast]

94. We'll meet for lunch, there!

I'm dying here. :rofl:

[Hepburn]

95. Ooooooh, just to be outside chambers when that is given to the judge to read!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.... :rofl:

[merh]

101. I would bet the clerks don't know what to do with that document.

[Hepburn]

120. Knowing a lot of feddie clerks, my guess would be...

...they copied it and are circulating it! And that's why it is late making the registrar!

:evilgrin:

[merh]

122. LOL

you are probably right.

I've sent a copy to all sorts of folks.

:rofl:

[TorchTheWitch]

141. Oh, no question!

This one they'll be posting on the bulletin board in the snack room, faxing to their friends, emailing to everyone they know, etc. It will be passed on to every law firm in the area and even the janitors and security guards will be howling with laughter. This is the best legal humor in the past 100 years!

[iceman66]

71. I liked the part about how he had to abandon his DINOSAUR hunt

in Africa because he spent so much money trying to discredit Obama!

You can't make this stuff up!

[Kablooie]

77. Wow. Is she still a licensed lawyer?

[blondeatlast]

91. there's a disbarment action on scribd but it hasn't been filed.

Here it is: http://www.scribd.com/doc/15546236/Taitz-State-Bar-Complaint

Her nutjob paralegal, Lincoln, was disbarred for a variety of reasons, among them (dig the irony) using false social security numbers...

[busybl]

107. lincoln is also a convicted felon.

[tabatha]

78. Oh, for goodness sake has a post about it, too

in addition to some other interesting stuff:

http://ohforgoodnesssake.com/

[Catshrink]

80. $300 lunches paid for by Orly's little people.

Reminds me of Leona Helmsley in a way, except Leona left money for the care of her dog. Orly would eat the dog.

[Hepburn]

93. Please edit to add....

...Orly would eat the dog ALIVE! She truly is batshit crazy!

[dem mba]

99. a fool and his money... nt

[euphoria12leo]

81. Marijuana's use and the effect on the brain

Do I smoke from another thread? Maybe too much, maybe not enough. After reading all this Taitz, Smith, Lincoln, sex, lies (they need videotapes) either I am crazy and confused or they are. I know I'm not crazy but what I just read is insane. They are insane, all of them. They continue to spend money for all this bs.



:wtf:

[Mopar151]

96. You know a hallucination when you see one...n/t

[EOTE]

86. This guy's also after the African Loch Ness Monster.

From page 16:

"I'd even spent money on the 'Obama trail' that I had saved for documenting another story in Africa about the dinosaur-like creature named Mbembe in the Congo(Africa)."

I remember reading about Mokele-mbembe in a book about myths and creatures when I was younger. It's basically Africa's Loch Ness Monster, though even less evidence exists regarding it. Why does it not surprise me that this would pique his interest.

[merh]

109. an image of Mbembe

[EOTE]

111. Looks more realistic than that Kenyan birth certificate. NT

[dem mba]

97. you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas

you got what you deserved Lucas Smith. Be glad you were smart enough to get out when you did.

[barbtries]

100. they're both nuts

off the chart

[quiet.american]

104. Now up to the part where he cites Orwell's "1984" as a reference for copyright law...??? nt

[busybl]

105. He contradicts himself right in the first paragraph.

He swears he's in his right mind and then claims he's a republican.

[quiet.american]

106. Hello! nt

[blondeatlast]

112. "Non compos mentis" right there... nt

[Mopar151]

143. I'm tellin' ya!

Fucking crazy, with a side of crazy fucking. "Why, it was so simple, it plumb evaded me..." (Lord Buckley) "Where are the bad guys? They're all in his head, playin' canasta..." "Mick Belker", on Hill Street Blues

[fascisthunter]

108. what an embarrassment!

holy shit

[quiet.american]

110. Just finished it - this guy is a stone cold loon, but my god, this is some seriously lol material.nt

[tandot]

113. That can't be real.

Can anyone be that bat-shit crazy?

Admit it, this is from The Onion.

[tabatha]

114. The guy links to it from his YouTube site.

I.E. he claims it as his own.

[tandot]

116. Holy shit.

If he claims it as his own, he IS bat-shit crazy. This is hilarious!

[Hepburn]

119. As Dick Lane used to say,

"Whoa Nellie!"

And if anyone reading this remembers Dick Lane, then you are an old fart like me!

:hi:

So...it's not a hoax... OMG... now I really, really, really want to be a fly on wall in judge's chambers when he reads that dec!

:rofl:

[provis99]

117. even the minor characters are crazy.

One of the loony witnesses claims to be a direct descendant of George Washington, which would be amazing, since George Washington was sterile from smallpox, and had no descendants. The crazy loon Smith wonders whether Captain Kangaroo would testify next!:rofl: :rofl: :popcorn:

[HillWilliam]

118. Bookmarking to read later.

The comments on the thread are epic DUzy. Can't wait to read the dec.

[Lerkfish]

124. since I want desperately for it to be true, by murphy's law it won't be.

drat

[Hepburn]

126. Well, perk up, Fish...

...I read that Smith acknowledged this dec on a YouTube vid.

:hi:

[Lerkfish]

128. well, that's not what I meant, I believe Smith might corroborate his own story

I just don't necessarily believe his story. for one thing, since Taitz has ruined the birther movement, this seems like an attempt to resurrect it by discrediting her.
But it is all just hearsay as far as I can tell, from birthers, who I trust not at all.

[tabatha]

130. He claimed sometime ago that she asked him to lie.

Read this:

http://ohforgoodnesssake.com/?p=4042

[Lerkfish]

142. I guess I"m just not willing to believe ANYTHING birthers claim

I'm just suspicious by nature of people wanting to delegitimize Obama

[Catshrink]

127. What I want to know is -- Where the hell is Judge Carter's

ruling on the motion to dismiss? There's still 1 1/2 hours left of Friday so maybe it will come today, probably not.

[waiting for hope]

134. Someone please tell me the purpose of outlining

the sexual stuff? What it a part of the investigation? These conservatives nut jobs really need therapy.

[Catshrink]

135. It's the hypocrisy...

[waiting for hope]

138. Hypocrisy is one side to it ...

But like anything they deem "inappropriate", they end up wanting it more. It's sick and unhealthy. He jumped all over Taitz for sleeping with someone outside her marriage, but still thinks Lincoln is honorable. Whatever - it could make you crazy trying to figure how their little minds work.

[crispini]

137. Wow.

Just wow. Amazing. Did he really file THAT?

[Frank Cannon]

139. The description of Orly Taitz in the sack...

made me throw up in my mouth a little.



Not if she were the last woman on Earth.

[davidpdx]

140. Dear lord, where to start with this train wreck

First off, it reads like a novel instead of a court brief.

Second, he's just as fucking crazy as Orly Taitz.

Third, about the only good point he makes in the whole thing (and let me point out that I'm not supporting his cause) is Obama doesn't have the burden of proof in the case, which is a huge problem and goes to show what a half ass idiot lawyer Taitz is.