From Landover Baptist: Halloween Tips for Holyweeners

[proud2BlibKansan]

1. Wait for unsaved children to come to your door and hurl a bucket full of warm lamb's blood (goat or dog blood can be substituted later in the night if you run out) all over their hair and faces. Shout - "I plead the power of the Blood of the Perfect Lamb over you! Take that! FOUL DEMON!"

2. Dress up as the freshly resurrected Christ.

3. Offer to exchange your giant treat bag with the small bag of an unsaved child - when he gets home, surprise! BIBLES!

4. Paint your face black, dress up in a flashy suit, and wander around a predominantly colored neighborhood - talking Ebonics into a cell phone about how the Lord Jesus saved you – in a voice loud enough to wake the sleeping winos!

5. Vincent Price may have thought he was scary, but nothing touches the Lord when it comes to the gruesome and macabre! With baby dolls and ketchup, use your front lawn to stage a realistic reenactment of when the Lord got jealous of Samarians worshiping a rival god and ordered that their children be hacked to pieces and their pregnant women experience the Lord's abortion-by-sword calling card.

more . . . http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1002/halloween.html

[trotsky]

1. Holyweeners!

:spray:

[redwitch]

2. Jesus!

That's all I have to say.