I present myself for flagellation and scourging, I bought a bag of candy with food stamps today..

[Fumesucker]

Series!11!!!1!

I bought a $1.79 bag of Jolly Rancher candy at fucking Walmart which I will dole out to my grandkids over the next week or two, and I did it with your hard earned tax dollars through the food stamp program.

Never mind that I have 12 grain bread with no HFCS, three kinds of dried beans, frozen fruit juice, bran cereal, natural peanut butter, bananas, apples, bagels, cream cheese, walnuts.. It's that one bag of candy that I should be scorned for..

Just crucify me now, OK?

[Starry Messenger]

1. No scourging here.

Now I'm craving a Jolly Rancher though. :) I love them.

[Union Yes]

2. I cyber slap your hiney with a flip-flop.

:P

[peace frog]

3. Off with your head!

but you can finish eating the candy first. :)

[Tace]

4. My Kids Like Jolly Ranchers

I don't really like them. Got something with chocolate?

[BOSSHOG]

5. No flagellation My Friend

Although I do enjoy self-flagellation on occasion.

Enjoy your Grandbabies.

On Sunday I will receive my socialistic, communistic retirement check for my military service.

[sarge43]

30. Hey Boss, as soon as the Eagle dumps, let's go and spend

the tax payer's hard earn coin on some non-essential shit. Hell, it's on me 'cause I'm a double dipper.

BRAWHAHAHAHAHA.

[BOSSHOG]

38. Roger that Sarge, I'm In

[sarge43]

57. Great. I haven't been on a morning after WTF,

first shirt wants to talk to you, 2nd of the month and no money left bacchanalia in ages.

[BOSSHOG]

76. Memories

I met my future wife the day before payday 36 years ago this spring. Told her I was broke and asked her to buy me a beer. Bacchanalia indeed.

"First shirt wants to talk to you." More memories from both sides of that conversation. Hey shipmate Chief wants to have a chat WITH YOU and he looks pissed.

[sarge43]

87. If you have never experience at least one bacch,

you didn't get the most from your enlistment.

[DJ13]

6. You deserve nothing less than ......

[arthritisR_US]

7. good for you! Seriously, it's nobody's damn business what you choose to

purchase and food stamps and the such should not be given out with strings attached. JMO :-)

[Bertha Venation]

8. What?! You take food stamps - yet you have internet access?!

How dare you!

;)

[Hello_Kitty]

17. That one cracks me up.

Gawd forbid you should have a cellphone or an internet connection of you are receiving public assistance, or don't have health insurance.

[Fumesucker]

25. I steal the internet access from my daughter and son-in-law's wifi..

I live outside the main house in a small camper, I bought a high gain wifi antenna so I can connect even through the metal wall of the camper..

I'd go nuts living in the house with two other adults and three small kids as well as their dog, their three cats and my two dogs.. It's a zoo in there now, it would be a three ring circus if I lived in there too. :evilgrin:

[eppur_se_muova]

45. You should use the publicly accessible computers at your local socialist library. nt

[Fumesucker]

59. Sigh.. I know, you can flense me if you wish..

Bad Fumesucker, bad.. :)

[Chulanowa]

95. You should eat the animals and get off food stamps!

Loafer!

[demmiblue]

9. Clearly, you are a welfare king!

:crazy:

[REP]

10. You BOUGHT bread??? Why aren't you growing, grinding your own flour to make bread

Those are MY TAX DOLLARS!!1!







(:sarcasm:)

[Myrina]

11. Been there, done that ...

... anyone who's got a problem with your purchases can get bent.

:hi:

[cry baby]

12. you will be damned to eternal hell for using my tax $ in such an irresponsible way!!

:sarcasm:

[Hello_Kitty]

13. If it's classified as food and the food stamps cover it, fine by me.

I find the scolding by the nannies about what poor people (of which I am one now due to over a year and a half of periodic unemployment) do or eat or drink. People think that because they give to charity or their tax dollars go to assist the poor that they get to micromanage their lives.

[sarge43]

14. You are a bad man.

Give the grandkiddies a hug for me.

And I wish a bag of candy was the worst thing my taxes were ever spent on.

[NYC_SKP]

15. I hope you also got some Fizzies to go with your Carbonated Soda, or Pop, or Coke...

Whatever you call it...

[Fumesucker]

53. RC Cola and Moon Pie..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaxIhdKZ00Q&feature=PlayList&p=DE7F801E3D7E82FD&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=48

[sandnsea]

16. Serving any of that to guests?

That's not allowed either apparently.

[Fumesucker]

23. If I had guests I'd have to clean up before they could sit..

I live in 22 x 8 ft camper, it has all the amenities but with all of my stuff in here and two small dogs there's nowhere to sit except for where I do..

I go to the big house if I want company other than the dogs.

BTW, I pay for my dog food, flea shampoo, treats etc by selling my blood plasma, although my food loving doggy goes nuts if I open a bag of beef jerky in here. :)

It's a simple life.

[SPedigrees]

42. Your doggies are adorable, and your house sounds like my little car.

No room for a passenger. The floor of the passenger side holds an assortment of items from CDs and player to drink holder, medications, kleenex, etc, while my sheltie rides on the passenger seat itself. Collie stretches across the back seat, with various items filling the back floor section (snow shovel, tire inflator, blanket, spare jackets) and the storage area under the hatchback holds a tool box with room for groceries and 2 bags of horse grain. I can fit the cat carrier in there too on a trip to the vet.

Sounds like you have just the sort of life I embrace myself. Pets make the best housemates and their demands are the least intrusive.

[gmoney]

18. well, they are fruit-flavored, no?

Grape, lemon, strawberry, etc.

And made with corn syrup... you call it maize syrup.

If Reagan can declare catsup a vegetable, then jolly ranchers are fruit! Maybe...

[rd_kent]

19. You can come down off your cross. We need the room for someone else.

[blogslut]

20. Jolly Ranchers are the best hard candy EVAR

You're a good grandparent.

[rucky]

49. they really did get that green apple flavor down

watermelon, too. Nobody else can get those quite right.

But they need to do something about the sticky.

[blogslut]

52. Oh, man the Apple...

Yummers!

But you're right, those buggers stick to my teefs like nothing else.

[LynneSin]

21. WTF???!!! You could have bought them Dried Prunes to give to the grandkids!!!!

:hide:

(for those of you who don't know - I was joking)

[Fumesucker]

27. They like apples.. And get them from me from time to time too..

Prunes are t3h yuk!!

[LynneSin]

32. BTW, you know I was just posting sarcasm

I think some of those comments made in the other thread are bullshit, but that's just me.

[Fumesucker]

35. I know.. It's cool..

But prunes really are t3h yuk!!

I've been reading your posts for a long time, I know you're a good person.

[LynneSin]

36. Oh good - one down - 100k+ more DUers to convince I'm a good person

:hug:

[EFerrari]

44. LOL

99,999.

[SPedigrees]

22. I have no problem with occasional purchases of sugary candy or snacks

only a problem with 'non-sugar' HFCS or artificial sweetener laden drinks and other items. And I blame Monsanto and our lax FDA for those. Happy Halloween to your grand kiddies, and save a few treats for yourself.

[madamesilverspurs]

24. Mea culpa!

And in December I'll do worse. I'll endure getting glared at by those in line behind me at the grocery store as I blow part of my allotment on cheese and crackers, egg nog, pop, chips and dip, cookies and candy canes; then I'll open my door to all those who are here for me day in and day out, who love and support me through good times and bad. And I ask that, in lieu of contributing to my little party, they bring a donation for the food bank. Between the foodstuffs and cash they put in the box the donation to the food bank always far exceeds my expenditure for the party. (I have spectacular friends!)

---

[Fumesucker]

31. Eh, most people never notice I use a food stamp card..

Swipe it like any other card, key in the PIN and you're off, the only person who knows is the cashier and I think about half of them are on food stamps too.

Nobody pays any mind at all to a debit or credit card these days.

[LynneSin]

48. That is a better system - the food stamps just seem so morale deflating

Worrying if the person in line behind you is passing judgement on your purchases.

[MerryBlooms]

83. You know

I don't get how all the complainers about people using state debit cards (their carts are filled with better stuff than me/their carts are filled with junk food/they're buying soda) know the person in front of them is using a state debit card. I'm in line a couple of times a week and I have zero idea what means people are using to pay for their items, unless it's a check or cash. How the heck do the busy-bodies know which card people are using?

[The Straight Story]

26. Your nanny won't like that - you have sinned and should be damned to hell I tell ya

:)

[cherokeeprogressive]

28. Why do you hate the children?

[LynnTheDem]

29. And candy in every pot...

Tell the nosy-parker authoritarians (leftwingnut or rightwingnut) to FOAD.

Not that anything will ever get through to the MFers other than ending up in your position. THEN maybe they'd bloody understand.

But until then, they need to just FOAD.

[flvegan]

33. WITCH!!!

Burn thee!!!

[blueamy66]

34. Aren't you supposed to only buy food for your family

and not your grandkids?

J/K

[The Straight Story]

37. We need home inspectors to insure only the right people are allowed to eat that food

would create a lot of jobs, but think of the savings we could get if they didn't share :)

[sarge43]

51. And grandkids aren't family? n/t

[sabrina 1]

63. So, poor people should not consider their grand kids 'family'?

How many more rights would you like to take away from the poor?

Only rich people's grand kids are 'family' ~ okay!

Oh, and people who are so in need that they are on food stamps, can use my tax dollars to buy whatever they want.

What I do not want my tax dollars being spent on is killing and torturing people in foreign countries.

[Fumesucker]

69. It was a joke..

That's what the "j/k" at the bottom means..

[sarge43]

73. My apologies n/t

[Fumesucker]

74. It's cool, I started the OP..

I just know that not everyone is familiar with all internet traditions.. :)

[sarge43]

88. I should have remembered the oldest net tradition.

Read both posts twice, then hit enter.

[sabrina 1]

78. Oops, sorry ~

:blush:

[Fumesucker]

82. Not everyone is aware of all internet traditions..

:)

:hi:

:hug:

[blueamy66]

96. Did you see the J/K?

obviously not

[FirstLight]

39. What? !! ..you're not giving out Liquor & Tobacco for Halloween...?

:rofl:

THAT"S what foodstamps are FOR!! ;)


I guess I am in line to be scourged too... buy my kids icecream with food stamps, never mind it is sometimes soymilk based when I can find it on sale. (I actually can't believe how many organic things are at the Grocery Outlet when you look on the right day - and cheap too~!)

[Romulox]

40. Thank god food stamps are available for those who need them.

It's not for me to judge how people use them.

[TheKentuckian]

41. I only regret that you didn't get something more lavish and "naughty"

I'm talkin' caramel and chocolate. I hope you got a phat ass steak too.

The nanny staters suck pretty in about the same way and as much as the theocrats.

[Hubert Flottz]

43. You should have pulled up your imported boot straps and...

put on your trick-or-treat gear, if you needed candy...If you didn't have a costume you could have stuck your head up your ass and gone out like a republican.

[rucky]

46. Get a rope.

[Bobbie Jo]

47. Cream Cheese? Well, La Te Da....

I would throw in a big ole bag of Snickers if I could. :)

K&R

[Fumesucker]

54. One of the kids has braces, can't eat soft candy.. Or I would..

Or an RC Cola and a Moon Pie..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaxIhdKZ00Q&feature=PlayList&p=DE7F801E3D7E82FD&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=48

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

50. As long as you don't eat with your champagne or spill it on your imported carpets.

Or, allow your chauffeur to fling the wrappers out the limo window while driving you to your Botox treatments or country cottage in the Hamptons.

[QC]

55. You are an enemy of the people. n/t

[Mrs. Overall]

56. I'll only flagellate you if those Jolly Ranchers were watermelon flavored--

JR watermelon flavor is the worst stuff in the universe.

[Fumesucker]

58. Mixed.. So only flagellate me gently...

I might like it too much otherwise. :evilgrin:

[RaleighNCDUer]

Jolly Ranchers?! That's appalling!

Why are you consorting with Big Agriculture?

[Ikonoklast]

60. It's probably cursed by Witches.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6883740

Why do you hate the children? Why?

[Toasterlad]

61. I Will Not Criticize You For Buying Candy. I WILL, However, Criticize You For Buying Jolly Ranchers

That's not candy.

:puke:

[Fumesucker]

65. Oldest kid has braces, can't eat soft candy..

I know they like JR's and they last a while..

[Sub Atomic]

62. Damn you straight to hell!!

You should be buried up to your neck and run over with a head-lopping machine!!!


:rofl:

[dana_b]

64. you evil thing!

thirty lashes with a Twizzler for you!!

[WhiteTara]

66. the candy will pull your fillings out

so, that will be your worst punishment! I bought candy for my mom one day with foodstamps. I guess I join you in the flagellation line.

[mdmc]

67. r

even though it wasn't chocolate candy..

[ismnotwasm]

68. I'm sure your Grandchildren will enjoy

I was on welfare and food stamps for years. With two kids and no child support. Back then, you could get change from food stamps, and I confess to buying candy bars to get that change. I probably even bought potato chips for the kids on occasion. I probably bought worse things. I confess to moving in a friend and her kids in with me while living in housing projects, we used to hit up all the food banks, even the ones out of our zip code. Loves them chicken backs and frozen salmon cakes, and of course, I can never forget Hamburger stew.

Then can line up and crucify me as well.

So eventually I made it through school and became a nurse--took quite a while, but I did it.

I never forget what it was like, ever.

[Fumesucker]

70. Thank you for remembering..

:hug:

:hi:

[ismnotwasm]

84. You bet

:hug:

[Feron]

71. I'll beat you soundly with a giant plastic pixie stick.

:P

Seriously though, I hope you have a nice visit with the grandkids. :D

[Fumesucker]

72. Thanks...

Actually I live on the property in my camper since I was divorced early this year.

My ex still had a job so I let her keep the house and moved our camper onto my daughter and son in law's five acres..

We have a good time, I get a lot of time with the grandkids but can get away when I need some space.. err. privacy..

[Berry Cool]

75. That's OK. Because, you see, when I was in college, which I was able to afford

only with the help of some government financial aid, well, I may have used part of my loan money to buy a record album or two.

And maybe even to help chip in on ordering a late-night pizza.

If anyone wants the albums, I think I still have them. It's a little late to repo the pizza, though. :-(

[Iggo]

77. Why do you hate freedom and america, too?

:eyes:

[wolfgangmo]

79. First time's free.

Do it again and we will pummel you with old organic carrots.

[handmade34]

80. you have my permission to

buy something a whole lot better than 'jolly ranchers' with my tax dollars. Maybe some toffee, gum drops, peppermint patties, orange slices, whoppers... but jolly ranchers???

[Fumesucker]

81. The kids like 'em the oldest has braces and can't eat soft candy..

And they last a long time..

[NMMNG]

85. Meh

The average food-stamp recipient gets about $4/day in benefits--possibly less. Why should I care what they spend that pittance on?


http://www.fns.usda.gov/FSP/faqs.htm

[SammyWinstonJack]

104. +1

:thumbsup:

[Jankyn]

86. Sorry, but grandfathers are supposed to give butterscotch...

...it's a rule.

*smile*

Best wishes to you.

[Fumesucker]

89. The problem is *I* like butterscotch. They wouldn't last nearly as long..

Callard and Bowser's actually but Werther's will do..


:evilgrin:

[Tesha]

90. Live it up! (NT)

[backwoodsbob]

91. damn you to hell..it's probably evil candy that has been cursed

Ok seriously..have you been contacted by the DU food police yet to find out where to turn yourself in?

It may go easier on you that way.

Oh BTW..jolly rancher has this round two flavor candy that is THE BOMB!..Try to find that next time for the kids...and tell them some crazyass backwoods guy told you about it

[MissMarple]

92. How sweet.

[kickysnana]

93. Oh does this bring back memories.

My husband had an emotional breakdown and left us and I went back to school and work part time. I had undiagnosed MS and Lyme and in constant pain and debility. Both my kids turned out to be dyslexic. School is hell for them. It was their birthdays within a week of each other and when I asked them what kind of cake I should make both wanted a chocolate bakery cake made here with a really yummy frosting. So I used the food stamps for the cake and my kids had to listen to some person who felt she could tell us how to live our lives ream me out because I was buying a cake with food stamps (the rest of my money for the month was gone by that time)

Because you pay taxes and don't believe in eating sweets does not mean that you get to tell me how to live my life. My kids needed hope to stay out of gangs, drugs and other trouble and right then that was a chocolate birthday cake from the bakery.

They turned out to be great adults in spite of the small minded, mean spirited, busy bodies around us.

[bumblebee1]

94. If you want to be crucified,

you will provide your own crucifix and nails.

[Ishoutandscream2]

97. I hope you and your grandkids have a great Halloween

This is a fun time of the year. You are sweet to think of them. They will appreciate the gesture, I'm sure.

[Born_A_Truman]

98. BTDT

You won’t get any flames from me. I’ve was on food stamps back when we had to buy them at the post office and they were issued in books of coupons. All change was given in little store coupons—no change. We had to separate our FS food items from our other purchases. I’m not sure, but I think now the registers handle all of that, or I hope they do.

Anyway, I wrote a letter to my congresscritter back then that I wish we could be able to buy soap, toothpaste, toilet paper, etc with our food stamps (yes, I know they were FOOD stamps—but living on AFDC and buying FS didn’t leave much after paying rent and utilities) so I mentioned to him that we could buy soda but not soap. His response was that he agreed, and would do everything he could to see that we could no longer buy soda. I was stunned.

Now we weren’t big soda drinkers (I did drink Diet Coke) but the only way I could treat my kids once in awhile was with FS. One day the lady behind me in line at the grocery store made a very loud announcement that “she wished she could buy such good food, but she WORKED FOR A LIVING!” I thought about that for a second and turned to her and said, “I’ll trade you. I’ll take your job and you take my CANCER.” She STFU but I have never forgotten it.

I hope your grandkids enjoy their candy and these people better hope I am never in line with them if they open their traps about it.

[lpbk2713]

99. Obviously you hate Amurka.

You must be some kind of tairist.



:sarcasm:

[LanternWaste]

100. Everyone wants to be The Popular Martyr.

Everyone wants to be The Popular Martyr this year.

I was thinking about that very costume for Halloween this season, but I decided instead to go with the overly-dramatic, highly pretentious, and very tired worn-out cliche, The Food Police instead.

[Burma Jones]

101. I wouldn't worry, the Reagan Administration determined that an ounce of Jolly Ranchers

constitutes a serving of fresh fruit.......



I'll bet you're also an illegal immigrant.....

[Time for change]

102. Maybe we should consider criticizing you for the candy you're soaking us for when

the amount reaches one trillionth of what the banks have soaked us for. Let's see... that would be about $17. So, you've got about $15 left to spend.

Oh hell, why the double standard? Go ahead and spend one billionth on candy of what the banks have soaked us for. That means you have about $17,000 left.

[Viking12]

103. You do know Halloween candy is a tool of Satan, right?

During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/prophetic-insight/23723-the-danger-of-celebrating-halloween?showall=1