"The Fire and the Dogs"-An NRA fable by Bicoastal

[Bicoastal]

There once was a young boy who had a terrible job--every night, he had to go out into to the woods to collect firewood for the stove at the neighborhood tavern. The woods were dark and scary, and the boy was scared of tripping over a tree root and breaking his leg, or being attacked by some wild animal in the darkness. Trouble is, the axe was heavy, and the wood was heavy as well, and carrying all of these items as well as a torch was impossible. Then one day, the boy had an idea--he'd find a dog in the village, and tie a torch to its back, and the light would protect him from the dangers of the dark woods AND keep his arms free to swing the axe and carry the wood.

This worked quite well at first--most of the village dogs were friendly, obedient, and resourceful. They would bravely carry the torch on their backs, snarl at any strange animals they accompanied, and illuminate any obstacles in the boy's path. And for a week, danger was avoided, and all went well. Then one day, the boy picked a dog that turned out to have a mean streak. It snapped at the boy when he tried to pet it, and seemed unresponsive to any calls. But the boy was more afraid of the dangers of the woods than the mean dog. So he tied the torch to the dog's back as he always did, and set off into the woods.

Suddenly, a lightning bolt flashed in the distance, followed by the rumble of thunder. The mean dog promptly went beserk. It ran wildly through the forest, snapping at the boy and anything else in its path--paying no heed to the fire on its back as it ran through bushes and in between trees. In no time at all, a good portion of the woods were blazing. The boy barely escaped with his life, running blindly through the trees until he reached the village, and then the tavern.

The keeper of the tavern, seeing the boy's singed clothes, asked what had happened. The boy breathlessly related the entire story, adding that the entire village was now in danger from the fire spreading in the woods. Not being a very smart man, the tavernkeeper stroked his beard for several minutes before coming up with an idea: "Lad, that may not have been the smartest thing to do, but as far I as can see, the only thing you did wrong is that you chose the wrong dog."

"As far as I can see, our only hope now is that to kill that mad dog. But since the woods are burning, it would be folly to rush in and kill it ourselves. Therefore, we must tie torches to all the other dogs in the village, in hopes that they will find the mean dog and burn it up."

"But won't the torches on their back merely add to the blaze?" said the boy. "Shouldn't we instead find water to put out the flames, and THEN worry about the mad dog?"

"Nonsense," said the foolish man. "It's the only thing to do in these situations--fight fire with fire. More fire, more dogs!" The cry went out through the tavern, and every man sprung to action, leaping from their beer and lighting torches, whistling for the village hounds, all the while shouting "MORE FIRE, MORE DOGS! MORE FIRE, MORE DOGS! MORE FIRE, MORE DOGS!!"

And within an hour, the forest, the tavern, the village, and everyone and everything in it was burned to a crisp.

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Bwuhahahahahahaha!!! That's awful.

Just purely awful. One of the most trying analogies I've come across. Not as bad as the Christian fundy Reader's Digest style crap, but close.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Bicoastal]

2. Yeah, you're probably right....

I kind of got that idea about halfway through, but I decided to carry on to the bitter end, for better or worse.

[damntexdem]

3. Very accurate.

But the NRA is worse than the tavernkeeper.