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Can't we all just get along? Why do so many posts degenerate into flame wars?

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11 Bravo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:08 PM
Original message
Can't we all just get along? Why do so many posts degenerate into flame wars?
I own two long guns and two hand guns (this makes me a gun nut), but I also believe that some form of regulation of firearm ownership is a flat-out necessity (this makes me anti 2nd amendment). I believe that the right to choose should be absolute, no matter in which trimester that choice is exercised, (this makes me a baby-killer - but let's be honest, who should have the final say, the woman or Fat Tony Scalia?) I'm a First Amendment absolutist - say whatever you want, but I also believe that Fred Phelps needs to have his ass kicked (not sure what this makes me). I believe that any two people on the planet should be allowed to marry, and if this poses a threat to your relationship, tough shit (again, not sure what this makes me). If I were to initiate a post dedicated to any of these propositions, a flame war would ensue. Why?
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sam sarrha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:11 PM
Response to Original message
1. if one cant walk on the coals stay out of the fire... i practace what i preach
Edited on Fri Apr-20-07 07:23 PM by sam sarrha
usually, unless i am in the mood, or maybe feeling devious
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SmokingJacket Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:12 PM
Response to Original message
2. If people didn't feel strongly, they wouldn't be on DU.
Usually, because we're presumably all Democrats here, we agree on most things, so the handful of things we DON'T agree on become total hot buttons.

Come on, it's fun! And if you don't like flame wars, there are plenty of mellow topics... like doesn't Bush suck?? :)
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:12 PM
Response to Original message
3. I know exactly what it makes you.
A human being and citizen of a country who stood in "harm's way" for the right to be wrong. And I'll take your six to defend that right no matter how much I might disagree. Or agree.
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Colobo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:12 PM
Response to Original message
4. Many polarizing themes are discussed over here
People get heated up easily.
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stirlingsliver Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:15 PM
Response to Original message
5. Because People Have Matches
Because people have matches.

And they sometimes like to play with those matches.

And because written words are so easily misinterpreted.

And because we cannot see each other's faces as we communicate on DU.

And because we cannot hear the inflections in each other's voices as we communicate on DU.

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aquart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
6. Because not everyone agrees with you?
But really, you wanna post pro-choice or pro-gay marriage on this board, it'll be a dull thread because not so many disagree.

You wanna tell me how cool gun ownership is...........because you're perfectly sure YOU will NEVER have the impulse to shoot your girlfriend......well...............

But, seriously, if you can't stand impassioned and furious dispute, you might wanna sign off till the primaries are over.
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:19 PM
Response to Original message
7. People don't come here to have tea with Mary Poppins. nt
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11 Bravo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. Thanks for straightening me out.
Edited on Fri Apr-20-07 07:28 PM by 11 Bravo
You're clearly a much tougher guy than I. The next time I see that Poppins bitch, I'll kick her in the ovaries. Or maybe, just maybe, if I disagree with her I'll try to explain why in a civil manner.
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:31 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. My pleasure.
I try to be civil myself, but some people like to argue, and they will.
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ends_dont_justify Donating Member (367 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:21 PM
Response to Original message
8. People feel helpless -- people are helpless.
Society itself has become a bully, like a diamond it has many faces. It's overpriced, its value is overhyped, and in the end it's cold and as hard as stone.

Society is a band of folks who don't feel adequate on their own to attempt a life, so they stir and attempt to create pros to make themselves feel better. They then try to kneecap other societies, groups, or individuals of those groups who are inferior to their self proclaimed pros. For instance, a working society will despise people who won't work, but people who won't work on certain goals because they feel it is immoral will be against people who work for slanderous or deceitful ends (IE environmentalists despising people who work at fur shops, pro life attacking abortion doctors). People who believe they have the right in relationships, because they do not wish to feel rejected by someone on an equal level, will begin imposing 'proper' etiquitte for how they have relationships. Some people couldn't get sex even with a bag on their head, so they use religion to say the sanctity of marriage is the best way. Since their religious sanctity revolves around anti homosexuality, they impose their fowl views on people just looking to share their love. Have you ever seen an anti gay marriage individual who had beautiful looks or a stable, enjoyable attitude or empathic emotions that made them worthwhile in any of those 3 degrees? The people who preach about the sanctity of marriage, often times, are people who are upset over not finding love for themselves at all without the societical views which band them together.

Rather than hating an individual or their opinion, people are upholding the fanaticism a group they are a part of or support have. Like a cult mentality, people will begin to become intolerant and infuriated at that which disrupts or disagrees with their ways. I have seen beautiful minds write stories that were captivating, to be torn down by people (not one or two, but an actual, set up group) who condemned stories that were 'too long'! For a simple amount of length, a story was condemned. It isn't stupidity, it's aristocracy. People's need to belong, or feel like they belong, outweigh common morals or decencies. Ironically, loners tend to be the most tolerant, but even they have views they agree with even if alone...and will become riled and fight for if stirred.

Because of this, I won't read replies to my posts (I seldom if ever do) because I will, by law of averages, disagree with some group somewhere I haven't even begun to fathom the principals of. You will, too, because somewhere, somehow, not knowing the answer to the question you asked will rile a group. This explanation will rile a group who is against the way I explained this. My grammar will offend someone who is a part of a group or supports a group who believes grammar is important.

There is justified madness in this country, because the insane have found like views and strength in numbers....and even the perfectly sane among us can become a little insane when it comes to trying to fit in or feel adequate.

I hope my post, though it may offend others, and probably will, atleast helped a few people who may not disagree with me. Please, by any means, don't outright AGREE with me though...sometimes groups of agreement is a dangerous thing :)
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
9. what are you, a troll? ! ? trying to stifle discussion here at DU!
just kidding. ;-)

I think some here are onto something when they point out the widespread sense of helplessness. It cause people to act out online, where they think they can be an actor instead of a prop.
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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:24 PM
Response to Original message
10. Because we're bored
Edited on Fri Apr-20-07 07:25 PM by gollygee
and it's amusing.

#2 - because there are only so many times you can post, "Yes! I agree with you!" so you sometimes look for somewhere you can say something else.
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riverdeep Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:26 PM
Response to Original message
11. Because people take things personally
and believe they are being disrespected, which sometimes they are. The question is when that happens what do you do? Trying to respond without giving in to the bellicose is one strategy. Or just ignore. Walk away for 15 minutes and it's amazing how the post doesn't seem as bothersome.
When you're posting, look for 'triggers' in your own writing. If it can be misinterpreted, you might want to recompose. It takes self-discipline to not fan the flames. But sooner or later it'll happen anyway.

But honestly, wander over to most forums, pick one at random-mental health, martial arts, looming- there's ridiculous angst being unfurled at most of theses places. I also think age has something to do with it. The younger the average age of board, the more flame.
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flying_monkeys Donating Member (519 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 07:27 PM
Response to Original message
12. Because it would be a pretty dull site if everyone always agreed?
Nothing would be more boring than reading a long list of "ITA!" "YES!" "I agree!" "Absofreakinglutely!" "Works for me".....


Besides, every exchange of ideas is an opportunity to either learn something new about the other position, or to learn how to make your own position stronger - - and whether learning or honing, it is all good, right?


If you posted any of the above, I probably wouldn't say boo because I agree with most of your positions (but I don't own guns. HOW COULD YOU own guns!!!! And *FOUR!* of them! You don't neeeeeeeed four guns!!! ;) )
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