After watching Rachel tonight about Uganda and The Family, after seeing the Stupak amendment occur in the House, after watching the Democrats fail to stand up for women's rights strongly and firmly....I have reached my tolerance limit on people who proclaim to be religious. They claim to be Christian, but for many there is nothing Christ-like about them. I was raised in the church, but I have little tolerance right now.
I never was really aware of this couple until I posted something about it the other day here. I was shocked at some of their techniques of punishment. I mentioned it to someone I was talking to yesterday, and that person told me that most of her friends at church used their ideas. I really felt odd when I heard that. I did not say much in return, but I did ask her about hitting small children with the pipe. She said she did not do that. I don't know what other policies women at her church follow.
I found some more quotes from the Pearls' book, "To Train up a Child", at a book site. They are stunning to me. I find it hard to believe that people treat children like that. I was raised by parents who spanked, but only in really bad situations...and just a quick swat or two on the bottom. There was never any of that hitting with pipes and such as that.
To Train up a ChildSome excerpts from the book and from the Q&A at their website posted at the forum. The website is
No Greater JoyFor instance, in one section a woman writes that her husband is verbally and emotionally abusive, has had numerous affairs, and is hurting her daughter, yet Debi Pearl states that the woman needs to stay with her husband because God hates all divorce. Yes, God hates divorce, but he also addresses infidelity and divorce in the bible (Matthew 5, Matthew 19) as well as saying that if anyone harms His children, they are better off to hang a millstone around their neck. Debi manipulates scripture to say that God will not save the woman's child if she leaves her husband.... how audacious to declare that God, who created the earth, will not save a CHILD if her mother leaves her abusive husband!
More apparently from the Q&A section:
PHYSICAL ABUSE OF WIFE AND CHILD
Later in the answer to the letter, Michael Pearl chimes in saying that it is only abuse if the husband hits his child and a red mark remains for at least two hours. TWO HOURS. Let's say it only remains for an hour and a half... oops! not abuse? I honestly think not. The emotional effects of abuse last long beyond the physical implications. He then says to send your husband to jail (something that is not likely to happen... physical abuse of a spouse or child rarely resorts to imprisonment), and to spend the time he is in jail writing love letters and having steamy phone calls. Honestly, if you have had need to send your husband to jail for beating you and your child, how does one think that God would desire you to stay with that person? He also says "If your abusing husband fully understands that you have the power of the law behind you, he will learn to keep his hands in his pockets" which is exactly the opposite... those who have been convicted of abuse in the past are the most often repeat offenders!
And this part is unbelievable.
While spanking your child and she cries and is upset about it (very obviously if you are hitting your child with supply line, they are going to be in pain and not happy about it), Michael Pearl says this:
"When she screams or flees, calmly follow through by physically subduing her. Sit on her, if you have to, and slowly explain that you will not tolerate this resistance. Explain in a normal tone (She will eventually stop screaming and listen) that you are going to give her, say, five licks for the original offense and an additional two licks for the fit. Slowly apply the five licks, counting out loud. When I say slowly, I mean with a thirty second gap between each lick and a calm explanation to the screaming child that you are not the least impressed except that you are going to spank harder and she still gets the additional two licks plus one more for her ongoing screaming. When you have finally arrived at five well- anticipated and carefully counted licks, say, “OK, your spanking is over; that is the five licks you got for hitting your brother, but now I must give you two more for trying to run away.” Give her one lick and say, “Now, that is one of the licks for running away; you have one more coming.” Give the second lick, and then calmly and slowly explain that all her licks are over now, except for the one additional lick she incurred for continuing to scream during the spanking. After you have finished, tell her that you are going to let her up now, if she stops screaming, otherwise you are going to give her one additional lick. If she stops, or at least makes a great effort to, then you have won. You may never have to go through this horrible time again. But, if she is continuing to scream in defiance, you have the option of continuing to warn and spank, or of ceasing here with a parting warning: “Next time you better not run and throw a fit; for if you do, you will only get more licks and harder ones.”
And the poster gives the page numbers from their book in which they tell about punishing their children.
The Pearls recommend whipping infants only a few months old on their bare skin. They describe whipping their own 4 month old daughter (p.9). They recommend whipping the bare skin of "every child" (p.2) for "Christians and non-Christians" (p.5) and for "every transgression" (p.1). Parents who don't whip their babies into complete submission are portrayed as indifferent, lazy, careless and neglectful (p.19) and are "creating a Nazi" (p.45). On p.60 of the book, they recommend whipping babies who cannot sleep and are crying, and to never allow them "to get up." On p.61 they recommend whipping a 12 month old girl for crying. On p.79 they recommend whipping a 7 month old for screaming. The Pearls recommend pulling a nursing infant's hair (p.7), and describe tripping their non-swimming toddler so she falls into deep water (p.67). They recommend ignoring an infant's bumped head when he falls to the floor, and ignoring skinned knees (p.86).
This section about 3 year old girl "babbling" during the night, rolling her eyes..is straight from the Q&A section at their website. They should be taking that child to the doctor.
From their website No Greater Joy:
Babbling in the nightThe question:
We are having problems with our three, almost four-year-old daughter and I can't help but think it is spiritual.
We have enjoyed and tried to put your principles in child training to work in our lives and overall, our children are REALLY well-behaved. I will admit that I didn't get on the ball very quickly with our daughter but have been more consistent recently (I have four children five and under). All this to say, there are times she wakes up in the middle of the night just babbling - things we don't understand (and I get a sort of scared feeling just listening and being with her). This morning as I read the Word with her, she just started to stare into space and when I asked her a question about the passage, her eyes rolled back and she just said "I don't know." We have also noticed some intense rebellion (openly lying) and bad attitudes especially with her. There also seems to be a rift between her and her father and we don't know why. We both try to encourage the relationship but it is usually "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." Anyway, anything you could offer us would be greatly appreciated - we would like to hear what you would have to say.
The answer from Michael Pearl:
You know there is a malady but you can not determine the cause. Knowing that all disease is best treated with good health, we strengthen the body in every way possible, allowing it to heal itself. So do with your daughter. The first thing is to heal the relationship with her father. She should spend time with him alone, looking to him to supply all her needs, feeding her, reading to her, playing with her. Emotional health is rooted in trusting, nurturing relationships.
The babbling in the middle of the night may just be a half-awake state of confusion. Or it could be a physical issue. Get her checked for worms. Check all her vitals—sugar levels, blood pressure, oxygen levels, etc. You said you get scared just listening to her. That concerns me. I don’t know if you are over-reacting or if there really is something supernatural about it. I would do a housecleaning spiritually. Make sure she has not been molested. Suspect everyone—male and female…all ages. Ask her in a non-threatening way if anyone has touched her here or there or in this manner or that. Has she been exposed to any witchcraft? Harry Potter, etc.? Have you allowed her to watch inappropriate things on the TV? Again, if there is a spiritual problem, the cure is good spiritual health. Pray over her, but not in a way that would alarm her. Sing spiritual songs around her and with her. In a relaxed way, tell her the Bible stories of Jesus. Make her happy and holy, surrounding her with the Spirit of God, and the devil will have to leave her.
Yes, indeed, get her checked out, but for worms? For witchcraft?
On top of all that punishment in the name of God there comes Debi Pearl telling a woman that whether she uses birth control or not is the decision of her husband.
About birth controlQuestion:
Dear Pearls,
I have had 4 babies in the last 2 years. I already had 4 other young children. My husband does not share my conviction on trusting God in the area of how many babies we have. He has been very angry because I refuse any use of birth control. I feel so alone sometimes. We are under such a strain. I must admit I dread coming together. My body is shot. My 4 older children are strangers to me and very disobedient. I am so weary from being pregnant, nursing or taking care of sick kids that I don’t have anything left to give them. My husband just stays away as much as possible. I don’t even know what I am asking except, help.
Answer:
Deb answers,
The Bible clearly teaches that your husband is your head. He has the rule over you. You are to submit to him, obey him, honor him, and never usurp authority over him. I fear you have not submitted, not obeyed, and not honored. You got your “conviction” someplace other than the Bible. The Bible does not state that it is sin to use natural means to space your children, but it does state it is sin not to obey your husband. He should have the final say in birth control, unless he would employ a method that would abort a fertilized egg. It is your duty to trust God to direct your man.
The women I mentioned who said her church friends use their methods is not a friend, but just someone I was talking with. I don't know which church, but it alarmed me to hear her say it.
These methods just do not sound like something Jesus would do.
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