Oral Roberts dead at 91.

[dgibby]

Evangelical faith healer and founder of Oral Roberts U. dead at age of 91, according to CNN

[Are_grits_groceries]

1. Wait 3 days. nt

[slampoet]

9. BRRAAAIINS!!!!!!!!!

Brains!!!

[blondeatlast]

16. I lol'ed. May God do whatsoever He deems appropriate. nt

[blondeatlast]

17. DUzy. nt

[dgibby]

21. Remember when he used to go around the South

with that traveling tent show, doing all that laying on of hands faith healin' crap? I had 2 disabled friends who went to that pos for a healing when they were kids. What a joke. Almost destroyed both of them.

[malaise]

43. I will

:D

[Taverner]

2. In related news, his evil brother Anal Roberts plans to take over the church

:rofl:

[smokey nj]

6. .......

:rofl:

[Withywindle]

13. DUzy!!

:rofl:

[Feron]

25. LMAO nt

[Initech]

49. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rofl: :rofl:

[Blue_Tires]

50. that joke is older than most DUers

and I STILL wanted to be the one to post it first!

[grahmhatch]

61. The perfect eulogy for Oral Bobs

In related news, this guy will be giving the eulogy

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8ea0067ad2/dylan-rhymer-oral-roberts-and-televangelists

I couldn't think of anyone better suited for the job!

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

3. He's stealing money from old angels in Heaven right now.

[izquierdista]

4. Donations must have stopped

Why didn't his followers pay up to keep him going?!?

[AndrewP]

5. I guess the last fund raiser didn't make enough?

So he was finally called home?

Wasn't that in the late 1980's he pulled that shit on his followers?

[dionysus]

8. the check finally bounced.

you got a good memory...

[charlie]

11. Pissed me off

when a sugar daddy came through with the bulk of it at the last minute. I sooo wanted to see that idiot explain why he wasn't dead.

[FiveGoodMen]

44. Me, too.

That would have been fun.

[dgibby]

24. I do believe you're right.

And he made millions of dollars on it, too.

[cliffordu]

7. Hell enjoys another 'friend'

[Craftsman]

10. RIP

[FarCenter]

12. Thanks be to whomever it may concern!

[superduperfarleft]

14. Gee, that's a shame. n/t

[Fuzz]

15. 900 ft Jesus told him to go to hell.

[bluestateguy]

18. One less anti-gay marriage voter on the registration rolls

nt

[BurtWorm]

19. Wow! God really did call him home!

:o

[Are_grits_groceries]

35. How do you know it was God? nt

[DianeK]

20. ding dong the witch is dead

[EFerrari]

22. Good. The world just got a little better.

[proud2BlibKansan]

23. RIP

[Raster]

26. Good riddance! That low-rent charlatan should have checked out years ago.

:kick:

[Sequoia]

27. Feel the love at DU !

You'd think he was ole Ebeneezer himself by these comments.

[superduperfarleft]

29. He was a charlatan that bilked millions out of gullible old ladies.

Pardon me if I'm not too torn up that the piece of shit died peacefully surrounded by piles of ill-gotten cash.

[BOSSHOG]

37. In the early 80's

we visited my sweet ole Grandma (she died years ago.) She was living on a paltry Social Security check and money she made cleaning up other people's houses. But every month she sent a check to Oral Roberts. My grandmother was a Christian, Oral Roberts doesn't deserve the love of the Christians in his life.

[malaise]

47. I don't think you have a clue re the number of grandmothers in poor ass

developing countries who sent Oral Roberts their money every month.
He was a classic snake oil salesman.

[Sequoia]

39. To be sure. I had to watch him on TV. We even had a record

of the choir at his church or whatever. A few years later I read a bio written by the divorced wife of one of his sons. She said she couldn't take the fakeness anymore. Especailly when Oral pretented like he was healing people by the laying of of his bands. My grandmother wanted to send him money and I told her not to because he wasn't healing anyone and they were all actors.

[Lex]

28. No more Oral.

:evilgrin:

[name not needed]

31. Usually, a lack of oral is a bad thing...

[blogslut]

30. May 900 ft Jesus

...give him what he deserves.

[Feron]

32. And nothing of value was lost. nt

[Journeyman]

33. I remember a Doonesbury strip about his "send money or I'll die" campaign. . .

back when Roberts was telling everyone they had to send money or the "Lord is going to take me away."

Mike Doonesbury visited his Mom, whose farm was just down the road a patch from Oral Roberts U. They were discussing Roberts' extortion when Mike's mom popped up and said she couldn't understand it at all. Why didn't the Lord just direct Roberts to a good investment scheme, she wondered, something in the stock market or the like. She finished by saying God would be great at this:

"He'd do wonderful in the futures market."



To the matter at hand, Roberts and his ilk are the type that make you wish the whole Heaven and Hell story were true, so we could rest easier at night knowing he's now getting his just desserts.

[guitar man]

34. I have nothing to say about this

I'll let the Word speak for me, Luke 20:46-47

46 “Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes, and love respectful greetings in the market places, and chief seats in the synagogues and places of honor at banquets, 47 who devour widows’ houses, and for appearance’s sake offer long prayers. These will receive greater condemnation.”

[MrCoffee]

54. Amen

[Botany]

36. And in her hour of need Lindsay Roberts found love in the arms of a 17 year

..... boy.

[arcadian]

38. I don't have anything clever to contribute so I'll just add this:

:D

[dustbunnie]

53. I'm so there!!! :-D

Good riddance, he was due for his dirt nap ages ago.

[superduperfarleft]

40. Listen to Oral Roberts talk about sex!

The most uncomfortable few minutes of my life...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61_rPgitFmc

[lumpy]

46. Porn

nt

[WhiteTara]

41. If the good die young we can know he was a POS

the planet is better off without him.

[lumpy]

42. Oh god,...... I'm devastated.

v

[David Zephyr]

45. Is Oral's brother Anal still alive? What a fucking fraud this asshole was.

Good riddance. There's more oxygen to breathe now.

[Stevenmarc]

48. They can preserve him like Lenin and prop him up occasionally when donations are slow

[HopeHoops]

51. There's a party in Hell tonight!

:party:

[Initech]

52. Yay! One less televangelist scumfuck in the world.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

55. Oral Roberts U. = Six Flags Over Jesus

He built a hospital that was way too big for what Tulsa needed.

Tulsa is one of the most backwards fundie places I have ever been. It's worse that most of Texas, and I say that as a native Texan.

[Vidar]

56. That's the best news of today.

[spanone]

57. interesting day in heaven

[lpbk2713]

58. I always wondered ...

Why would parents name their kid 'Oral'? :shrug:

But OK, things were a lot different 91 years ago.

[lightningandsnow]

59. *insert Monica Lewinsky joke here*

[PeaceNikki]

60. Best headline nominee: "Jesus prepares to receive Oral."

:rofl: