****DUzy Awards for the week ending 2-12-10****

Ghost in the Machine

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Feb-12-10 01:45 PM
Original message

Welcome to another Early Edition of the Duzy Awards

I wanted to get these out early due to the snow storms in the South, plus the fact that today is my dad's 72nd birthday and I will be with him and the rest of the family later this evening... Peace, Ghost

Special thanks to: dixiegrrrrl, scarletwoman, Soylent Brice, havocmom, Mira, JeffR & kickysnana for their invaluable assistance in bringing you the DUzy Awards this week

On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci: Poll question: Do you ever smile & nod politely while not listening to a SINGLE word the other person is saying?

      old mark: 6. What? Oh, yeah---- yeah, sure.......nt

      Aristus: 13. All the time; I'm married...

:P

      sarge43: 18. Of course. I've been married for 28 years. n/t

      DutchLiberal: 25. And picturing her naked instead...

Er... I think I've just said too much.

The DU Lounge, Feb-05-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9240366

On a thread by annabanana: just teased on NBC:. . The "First Dude" scandal..

For Context:
    livetohike: 6. Me included

What is the name for someone who never progresses beyond a high school emotional maturity level when they are in their 40's? :shrug:

      TheCowsCameHome: 7. Bush 43

      OmmmSweetOmmm: 9. Mrs. Greenspan did the story. Between this and Mitchell daring Palin to call out Rush,

it's making me wonder what happened between Mitchell and the chillbillie. I thought there was a lovefest going on there.

      peekaloo: 10. restraining order?

This one wins a Special Visual Achievement Award

General Discussion, Feb-06-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7652009

On a thread by Stephanie: Calling the Fashion Police

      PCIntern: 1. All dressed up and no one to blow...

      beam me up scottie: 3. I hear she wrangled those clams herself.

See the smaller, darker odd shaped ones?
That's what's left of the ones who put up a fight - took 'em out with a Desert Eagle 50 cal, she did.

      scarletwoman: 5. I'm not sure what to think. I want to wait for Osama Bin Laden's next tape and get his take on it.

General Discussion, Feb-07-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7658212

OP by MineralMan: In Defense of The Blobfish

Press Release
February 8, 2010
Blobfish Anti-Defamation League

Contact: MineralMan

In Defense of The Blobfish

Recent photographs of the exotic deepwater fish, the Blobfish (Psychrolutes marcidus),have lately appeared on internet sources. The BADL objects to these photographs, which do not represent the true beauty and unique qualities of the Blobfish. The photographs, taken of a dead specimen of this noble species, in no way reflect the appearance of the living fish.

The BADL calls for an immediate removal of all such photographs from all media. They degrade the reputation of this esteemed member of the piscine genera. All such photographs should be replaced with the second photograph included with this press release. The new photograph depicts the Blobfish in its living, swimming state, and reflects its true beauty.

The BADL deplores the ridicule and calumny heaped upon the Blobfish by so many internet bloggers, who think nothing of the feelings of this peaceful and lovely creature. Please do the right thing if you are currently displaying the disrespectful photo of a Blobfish. Replace it forthwith with the included photo.

tularetom: 1. Here's one they just pulled from the sea still flopping around

      CanonRay: 7. Kinda looks like my brother-in-law.

      The Straight Story: 12. I don't care how it looks, I want to know how it tastes

:evilgrin:

      KittyWampus: 16. What would the cafeteria serve in honor of a National Blobfish Day?

Any idea what their favorite food is?

      blondeatlast: 23. Cornflake chicken and mac and cheese with some Velveeta.

Oh, and jalapeno cornbread.

General Discussion, Feb-06-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7654094

On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci: "I wasn't motivated"...Palin pisses off attendees at her 8:00 AM "motivational speech" in Houston

tanyev: 18. The Sarah Palin Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am Speaking Tour.

General Discussion, Feb-09-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7678710

On a thread by Taverner
: DU Mathematicians - Does the number 'infinity' exist, or is it for all purposes an imaginary number?

Bucky: 12. Yes it exists. It's the next number after 16,353,546,030,798, 166,468,616, 846,551,899,051, 268, 135

You know, give or take...

The DU Lounge, Feb-08-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9244973

On a thread by SemiCharmedQuark: Fox News: Palin’s ‘Telepalmer’ Notes Were A Clever Plot To Call Attention To Obama’s Teleprompter

Rick Myers: 1. Hillbilly Palm Pilot!!!

:thumbsup:

General Discussion, Feb-08-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7673484

On a thread by claypool4prez: Payback time for Virginia Foxx

BrklynLiberal: 1. Yes. that evil little cabbage-patch witch needs to be kicked out of Congress.

General Discussion, Feb-08-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7670111

On a thread by madmom: Daughter needs help with homework paper, needs to interview someone who learned English as a second

language (she said preferably someone from Mexico or Japan since she knows a little more of their culture) and body care to volunteer?

HysteryDiagnosis: 1. Former governor of Alaska?? n/t

General Discussion, Feb-09-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7679546

On a thread by Christa: Epic Failure - for all those lurkers who idolize Reagan

MilesColtrane : 32. ...the zombie.

BRRRAAINSSS, MOMMY...BRRRAAINNS!

General Discussion, Feb-09-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7675009

On a thread by Sannum: An alert from the American Family Association:The person next to you in the shower might be...a GAY

teenagebambam: 15. You think that's bad?

I was showering at the gym this morning and I'm pretty sure the guy next to me was straight!

General Discussion, Feb-09-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7677547

On a thread by kpete: W: "MISS ME YET?"

Xipe Totec: 2. Yes. Stop Ducking!

Subdivisions: 15. Yes. I miss you very much. I'd love to see more of you...

at a defendent's table.

General Discussion, Feb-09-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7677280

OP by breadandwine: ••••Ode to the Corporation••••

I was feeling very generous toward corporate America after the Supreme Court ruling underscoring the personhood of corporations. So I wrote this little poem. Please feel free to submit this loving poem to your local right wing newspaper. Do NOT pay attention to the HIDDEN MESSAGE. . .

From the day they are born
Under circumstances tenuous but warm
Corporations struggle to be helpful
Kept in all our hearts they live to be good.

The corporations tirelessly work for all
Hearing the market's call
Ever supplying the public need.

Can any other entity boast such merit?
Or provide products we all can cherish?
Rescue for the weary?
Protection from harm?
Or clothing to keep us warm?
Real needs of people,
Always put first,
Till the best for everyone
Is garnered.
Only the corporation can be so human.
Nothing else but it could harbor personhood.
So rejoice in all that they have given us.

General Discussion, Feb-09-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7680994

On a thread by meegbear: The Rude Pundit: Sarah Palin Is a Fucking Retard

Chulanowa: 101. I wouldn't fuck her with Woody Allen's dick

On a ten foot pole.

Not in a box, not with a fox, not even with bagels and lox.

I would not go near that hole.

I would not get between those gams, Sarah Pal-i-n.

General Discussion, Feb-08-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7668583

On a thread by CK_John: Does anyone else have the feeling that Todd Palin is a spy novel waiting to happen.

Cleita: 1. No, more like a prison drama waiting to happen. n/t

General Discussion: Presidency, Feb-07-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=433&topic_id=174172

On a thread by Turborama: 30 pounds of pot found inside pictures of Jesus

      provis99: 1. What Would Jesus Smoke?

If she didn't pray to Jesus before, I'll bet she's praying now.

      Flaneur: 13. Not Mexican brick weed!

      Richard D: 4. Holy Smoke!

(I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry about that.)

      Jamastiene: 10. If I had found those pictures before they did, I would have said "Hallelujah!!!"

:evilgrin:

      Bozita: 11. Jesus saves. ... How the hell else could he ever afford 30 pounds?

      Arctic Dave: 12. Are you sure that is jesus or is he the zigzag man?

      htuttle: 18. I don't care if it rains or freezes, 'long as I got my cannabis Jesus...

...Riding in the backseat of my car...

      Veruca Salt: 29. This whole thread is one heckofa duzy!

Our father, who toked in heaven...

,,,,uhhh, how did the rest go? :smoke:

      MrMickeysMom: 31. Honest officer... I was FRAMED!

heh-heh...

General Discussion, Feb-10-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7690512

On a thread by Purveyor: Man Walks Into Wal-Mart, Smashes 29 TVs With Bat

JBoy: 11. Cleanup on aisles 6, 7, 8 and 9!

Taverner: 21. True rage against the machine

Thank Dawg it wasn't rage against the Ghost in the Machine!! :scared:

General Discussion, Feb-10-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7688793

OP by Hubert Flottz: By Request: The Sarah Palin Limerick Thread...

On the Straight Talk Express she came,
With her buddy old Johnny McSame,
They incited a riot,
Voting floks wouldn't buy it,
Now she's showing her ass once again.

On the trail of the wolf and the moose,
She would carry her tiny papoose,
She said Trig can have heat,
When I bag some more meat,
If Trig grows up he'll kick her caboose.

      guitar man: 1. ok I'll try

There once was a woman named Palin
Who made a career out of failin'

With a winky you betcha and
they're all out to getcha
she goes on with her bitchin' and wailin'

:shrug:

      geardaddy: 2. mine

Caribou Barbie is a louse
She spent lots of dough on her blouse
She mocked Hope and Change
And was really deranged
No place for her at the White House

      11 Bravo: 3. A dim bulb with notes on her hand,

Spewed shit for a cool hundred grand.
She's dumb as a brick
But her bankroll is thick
Thanks to fools with their heads in the sand.

      dixiegrrrrl: 4. ok...bravely attempting my first limerick..be gentle.

Of the two which is dumber
Sarah or Joe the plumber?

She relies for memory on her hand
while Joe had the fans all scammed.
Here's hoping both are quitters before summer.

      Mira: 7. Here goes:

There once was a Barbie named Palin
when Alaska she led she went bailin'
to go for prime time
in the low forty-nine
but I trust we will send her on sailin'.

Many more on this thread, be sure to read the whole thread :-)

The DU Lounge, Feb-11-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9249779

OP by dcsmart: anybody know when the democrats

r going to put down their diapers and pick up the pitchforks and torches.

Tesha: 1. Wednesday, November 3rd, right after the Republicans seize control of the House and Senate.

Once the Democrats don't actually have power to *DO* anything, they'll
be talking again really loudly about what should be done.

G_j: 4. have you seen Godot?

should be here any minute now...

General Discussion, Feb-11-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7695427

On a thread by Segami: British Spies Say Al-Qaeda May Use Breast Implant BOMBS

      no_hypocrisy: 1. "Boobs, not bombs!"

      Vinnie From Indy: 2. fembots

Next, it will be sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.

      Bonhomme Richard: 4. I guess we have to watch for Booby Traps. n/t

General Discussion, Feb-12-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7699919

Special Visual Achievement Award

On a thread by Skinner
: DU PHOTOSHOP FUN... What's on Sarah Palin's hand?

response #1 by rucky

response #8 by Bluebear

response #103 by Jackeens

response #13 by muriel_volestrangler

response #14 by DearAbby

response #15 by wtmusic

response #20 by Fumesucker

There are many more funny pics at the link. If you paticipated in this project, you've won a DUzy!

General Discussion, Feb-07-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7663090#7663754

OP by n2doc: Mr Fish- How Much Longer?

response #1 by mikelgb

General Discussion, Feb-10-10 : http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7685291

On a thread by raccoon: Who's behind this? Bush 'Miss Me Yet' billboard.

response #5 by Avidor

Minnesota, Feb-09-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=160x38338