WASHINGTON—Squashing any fears that they might have lost it, a 3 percent increase in teen pregnancy rates positively confirmed Tuesday that America's teenagers still have it and, in some cases, are rocking it harder than ever.
According to a report by the National Center for Health Statistics, the increase reverses nearly two decades of plummeting teen pregnancy rates, which had caused many to fear that teens had lost what it takes to get the job done.
But a sharp increase in birthrates among the under-20 population proves that teens across the nation still got the goods.
"Teens are back," said Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius, noting that 26 states experienced a significant increase in teen pregnancies for the first time since 2004. "Any questions about whether or not our teens were past their prime or could no longer bring the heat have been answered. We never should have doubted them."
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/rise_in_teen_pregnancy_proves