IndianaJoe
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Sun May-09-10 04:19 PM
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Edited on Sun May-09-10 05:10 PM by IndianaJoe
A Teabagger’s Love Song (to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies")
I’m so sick of all the Libruls An' the other left-wing terdz That I put my pen ta pa-per And spell’d out these here wurds! They’ve got me all ex-cit-ed Yes, I’ve had it up ta here The Anti-christ’s a-comin’! There’s much out there ta fear!
Them Libruls'r all are in pow’r Puttin’ our poor kids in debt Grabbin’ holda Gen’rul Motors So-shul-eye-zin’ us! You bet! They’re lettin’ gays all marry Spreadin AIDS and H-I-V Now they’re in our army Passin' germs ta yew an’ me!
I’m for them old-time val-yoos Things’re were fine. Just let 'em be! I sure don’t want no changes Screwin’ up my fine cuntree So now I'm dem-un-stra-tin’ Puttin’ bags on all my hats Dick Armey’s been a-payin’ me Ta say “No!” ta Dem-o-crats
Well I’m a Par-ty mem-ber. Cause taxes give me fits. True, I don’t haveta pay ‘em, But they still disturb my shits. I’m proud ta be blue col-ler I work hard to earn a buck I read my Bye-bul daily And I love my pickup truck
I won't read no news-pa-pers Or watch M-S-N-B-C! I get my news from Glen and Rush An’ I love Sean Han-ni-ty Ain’t no water in muh lik-ker Stir my kawfee with muh thumb I ain’t no union member No, I’d never be that dumb
Don’ like no sex in moo-vees I'm fer the Gol-den Rule God’s werd's there in the Bye-bul I want it herd in my kid’s school! No such thing as ee-vo-lu-shun Adam walked with dye-no-sars You can shove your solar pow’r An your fancee hybrid cars!
Got a flag upon my jack-ut Got a gun in both my fists Ta ward off crooks'n burglers And ma-raw-din So-shul-ists Don’t need no helth inshoo-runts If its canser, I’ll just die The Gummunt can’t run nuthin’ Sayin’ dif-fer-unt's a lie!
I hate our Fed-rul gummunt. Mexies, Com-mu-nists, and queers They’re all out there to get us Welfare cheets and profi-teers! Don’t need no in-stee-tu-shuns Just say “No” to byoo-ro-crats!. I’m for our ole Free Market Reg-u-lay-shuns drive me bats!
Can’t stand Nan-cy Pee-losi And her crew of fem-uh-nists Let’s fence her up in ‘Fris-co With them other Sod-o-mists!. There ain’t no Globul Warm-in’ All them sci-un-tists is bent! I’m fine with newk-lyer power Don’t need no En-vi-ro-ment
Got a real fine hunt’n rye-ful Don’t buhleeve in huggin’ trees The N-R-A protects me So I always pay their fees. Them blacks is sons-o-bitches! Gettin’ checks an’ havin’ fun. We pay for all their ba-bies! No kid-a mine’ll mar-ry one!
The Tax Code’s id-ee-otick. It’s a mor-an’s jam-bo-ree!. Why don’t we just pay ten per-cent That’d be e-quul, dontcha see? An I buh-leeve in human souls They’re say-krid things ta me. But when not savin' em-bree-os, Death’s a real fine pen-ul-tee!
I’m okay with water-board-in’ A few Moozlim guys or two. No juries for them basterds! Let's ren-di-shun us a few! I know the End’s a-comin’ It’s just right around the bend You’d bett’r get your shit straight And be born again, my friend.
So why’m I a Par-ty mem-ber? Why’m I holdin’ his here sign? It’s fer God’n Mitch McCon-nell! An’ this fambly here o’ mine! Cause life’s so com-pli-ca-ted It’s so hard to unnerstan’ A black guy’s in our White House What’s be-kum of our dear land?
But we’re gonna make things bett’r. There’s a-gonna come a day When we’ll kick ‘em outta office And then we’ll have our way! Then a-dyoo ta Reid and Bi-den Barney Frank an' all his kind We’ll send O-ba-ma pack-in’ A burth ser-ti-fee-cut to find.
We’ll say good-bye ta Wall Street Ta them mo-guls and fat cats We’ll drill up lots of oy-ul And we’ll spit on Dem-o-crats We’ll tear down all their wind-farms We’ll burn coal just cause we can We’ll put in Sa-rah Palin, An' e-lim-in-ate Eye-ran!
We’ll say fare-thee-well to unions Send them Mexicuns all back home We’ll dyna-mite the I-R-S; Pack the Cath’licks off ta Rome We’ll put the blacks back ta slavin’ Puttin’ cott’n in ole bags We’ll vote righties inta Con-gress An’ we’ll fly Con-fed-rut flags!
No more o’ mane streem meedya We’ll a-void it like the pox No more Maddow on the air- waves We'll get all our news from Fox Then won’t it be a vizh-un? A real “City on a Hill” A place to raise your familee! An’ do the good Lord’s will!
So if Hol-ly-wood and Commies Get yer stummicks outta whack, Why not help all us Teabaggers! Get our country back on track! We’re all marchin fer our liberty We’re havin’ us a ball! Free Viagra fer the masses! An' a shot o Geritol!
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renko
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Sun May-09-10 04:52 PM
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1. Sorry, but racial epithets just spoil it. n/t |
IndianaJoe
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Sun May-09-10 05:02 PM
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2. Hmmm...Maybe you're right....Time to edit |
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Actually, I put them in because the T-People use them. But I think you're right...
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renko
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Sun May-09-10 05:15 PM
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Personally, I see nothing wrong with calling a Teabagger a Teabagger. They chose the moniker.
However, unless discussing specific terms, using racial or sexual epithets seems gratuitous. (With all the usual ethnic caveats.)
Again, great ditty!
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