"Don't tease the panther": An exclusive look at Glenn Beck's The Overton Window

[Bill219]

http://mediamatters.org/blog/201006110032

The opening lines of Glenn Beck's yet-to-be-released novel, The Overton Window, read as follows: "Most people think about age and experience in terms of years, but it's really only moments that define us."

In a quirk of convenience, this line also describes the best way to deconstruct The Overton Window, a copy of which Media Matters obtained and read -- nay, devoured -- with great relish. As we slogged through its many plot holes, ridiculous narrative devices, and long-winded limited-government sermonizing passed off as dialogue, we singled out ten moments that define The Overton Window as the truly and remarkably awful novel that it is.


1. Rule number one is: "Don't tease the panther"

Noah and Molly find themselves in bed together early in the book after a harrowing experience at a Founders' Keepers rally. They agree to sleep in bed together because Molly is too scared to sleep at home, but Molly insists that nothing sexual will take place. Noah agrees, on the condition that she "not do anything sexy." She presses her cold feet against his legs, and Noah responds:

"Suit yourself, lady. I'm telling you right now, you made the rules, but you're playing with fire here. I've got some rules, too, and rule number one is, don't tease the panther."


...................................................................
Currently on Twitter, we are all making fun of the asshats new "book"

http://twitter.com/#search?q=%23DontTeaseThePanther

[Richardo]

1. Delicious

[gratuitous]

2. Wait; is Molly playing with fire or teasing the panther?

It's like watching the advent of a competition to rival the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

[NewJeffCT]

8. I think it means

Noah has a foot fetish?

[UTUSN]

3. K&R #1 My theory is that BecKKK is taking a remedial course in Great Thoughts & Quotes

This means he gets THRILLED at a Great Thought or Quote and believes that nobody else has seen it before and, at his level of pathology, even thinks he must have some kind of kinship with that Great Person, and possibly even thinks he thought the Great Thought himself!1


Currently, he has moved on from the founders and has latched onto KIPLING:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
**********QUOTE********

http://gawker.com/5559506/the-glenn-beck-novel-trailer -...

The Glenn Beck Novel Trailer: 'Dog... Vomit'

Crazy conspiracy-cruller Glenn Beck has a new novel, The Overton Window, coming out very soon. And now, because I guess this is what we do these days, there is a trailer. For a book. It's just one long, scary quote.

The quote is from "The Gods of the Copybook Headings," a wacky poem by Rudyard Kipling. It speaks of terrible things that happen after "social progress," which Glenn "Walking Knish" Beck really hates. Mostly, though, it is about dog vomit. Yayyyy, dog vomit.

If you are curious, here is a video of Beck writing the novel.

(EW)



Send an email to Richard Lawson, the author of this post, at [e-mail] .

********UNQUOTE********

[Forrest Greene]

4. Meow. n/t

[Ramulux]

5. Wow

It amazes me that all these conservatives have best selling books when their writing style always seems to resemble pissed off, hormonal, teenage girls.

[arcane1]

11. Emotional immaturity resonates with their target audeince

as does simplicity, and... well you get the idea

[TlalocW]

25. They know how to write for the intellectual level of their targeted markets

Also, as someone pointed out below, pretty much all conservative best-sellers are bulk buys by various organizations that they then use as part of their promotions like, "Subscribe t our right-wing rag, and you'll get Sarah Palin's best-selling, 'Going Rogue!'"

I've been around large amounts of conservatives in a book store before. A few years back, I went to a book-signing by Ted Nugent - partly to get a gift for a conservative relative and partly to get a picture taken of myself sticking my tongue out at the Nuge (succeeded on both counts). Anyway, Ted brought out all the wack-jobs for his book-signing. People were divided up into 3 groups and given colored bracelets and then then those colors were called one at a time when it was that group's turn. I saw a lot of expressions on the other people waiting in line that seemed to express the disbelief that there are so many books in the world, and that many of them are not conservatively-themed.

TlalocW

[hatrack]

6. Jeeeeeeeeeezus. This makes Ayn Rand look like Faulkner.

:puke:

[MisterP]

7. "cracker-chic" agents provocateurs!

hideously, this book will be gospel to those righties that eat up whatever blood-soaked, hypermacho hippieMuslimCommie-bashing that Tom Clancy, 2000s Michael Crichton, Jerry Pournelle, John Ringo, Robert Ferrigno, Tim LaHaye, 2000s Orson Scott Card, Joel Rosenberg, Terry Goodkind, et al squeeze into their toilet bowls at the rate of 3 books a year

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

13. I was just going to post pretty much this.

Glad to see that Goodkind's on that list.

:thumbsup:

This Conservative-Snuff-Fantasy™ (where they get to fantasize/plot killing all the liberals in America) is devoured by their fans.

[Stevenmarc]

9. Rule #2 you tease the Panther you unleash the Loofah

A trick he learned from Bill

[Chiyo-chichi]

10. Founders Keepers, Readers Weepers.

[Richardo]

20. !!

:D:thumbsup:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

12. I see daggers in this book's future. -nt

[leeroysphitz]

15. wat

[NewJeffCT]

17. The NY Times

has a very influential book review that lists the bestsellers. However, in response to Richard Mellon Scaife (and other) RW billionaires buying thousands of RW books to get them on the bestseller lists, the NY Times now lists "bulk sales" books with daggers next to them.

[burnsei sensei]

14. I had no idea that Beck

was rational enough to write a novel.
I have no desire to read it.
It may undermine my grammatical and logical sense.

[NewJeffCT]

18. He wrote a children's Christmas book, too

I was stunned when I saw it... I had to look it up to see if it was THAT Glen Beck, and it was that one.

[hedgehog]

24. It gets better - IIRC, he went on the road with a one man show

of readings from that book!

[burnsei sensei]

16. The words progressive plutocracy

are a huge oxymoron.
But then, Glenn Beck is a huge oxymoron.
For some people, the future is destiny . . . for Beck, it's a strait jacket.
A nice, warm strait jacket.

[hedgehog]

19. Well, at least there's no bear on little girl porn.

[gratuitous]

22. Saving that for the sequel?

'Cause you know that if he makes even a dime off this, there will be a sequel. Oh yes, there will be a sequel.

[Kerrytravelers]

21. I literally think just reading the snippets from Media Matters has made me dumber.

I really, really do.

[hedgehog]

23. It's a tradition among conservative novelists. Have you ever tried reading

any of Newt Gingrich's books? Please don't make me look it up (I only have so many brain cells to lose to the effort), but I swear his novel on Pearl Harbor includes a scene in which a character goes to the Faculty Dining Room on a California campus in 1939 to select some sushi for lunch. I think mac and cheese was about as exotic as things got back then, even in California.

[FVZA_Colonel]

26. Glenn, I'm going to be honest with you,

that reads like pure gasoline.

[JackDragna]

27. All right, the challenge is on!!!!!

Whoever gives me an activity for which "tease the panther" is a euphemism wins a prize!