OMG Funny! For Mothers only! Men can be Mothers too.

[lonestarnot]

From Ellen D. Show

So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently
died.
> > Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on
him
> > and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day
long
> > on this mat in our bathroom.
> >
> > Well, we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4
years
> > old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really
loves
> > chapstick. LOVES IT. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then
losing
> > it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my
> > chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he
needed to
> > put it right back in the drawer when he was done.
> >
> > Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around
and
> > try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on.
My two
> > boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to
nurse
> > my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up.
Everything is
> > a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day
to
> > honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.
> >
> > We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I
am
> > looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the
> > corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying
my
> > chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end. Eli looked right
into
> > my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he
is
> > right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly,
Jack
> > didn't seem to mind.
> >
> > And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it
was the
> > FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.
> >
> > And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds
us
> > that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little
> > creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've
been
> > using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

Happy Mothers day early DUer Moms!

[blondeatlast]

1. LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT!

Thank you! :rofl:

[lonestarnot]

6. My pleasure.

:rofl:

[rosesaylavee]

2. Ha!

Perfectly logical. Little problem solver in the making. What is Eli doing now I wonder?

:rofl:

[lonestarnot]

4. Cat proctologist?

:rofl:

[blondeatlast]

5. Bet he buys buttloads of Chap-Stick for the discount!

Gad, I am always applying Chap-Stick; I'll surely pause a moment next time!

[lonestarnot]

7. LOL

I can't stand chapstick, too waxy, but I use an alternate.

[Raven]

3. Oh, Oh, Oh!!!! I cannot stop laughing! What a wonderful story and

so well told. Should go down in the Mothers' Hall of Fame!

[tmlanders]

8. Great story!

Thanks for the laugh!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[poverlay]

9. As a stay at home dad, I think that is the best story of the holiday! I've had that feeling a few

too many times, but it always ends up as the best story.

Guess you probably always wipe off your chapstick before you use it now don't you?

[lonestarnot]

12. Probably a good idea.

[Clark2008]

10. But then they're so sweet.

Mine just brought be a potted flower and made me a big card. He said he likes it when we watch Keith Olbermann together in it. :rofl:

[lonestarnot]

11. A potted flower and a big card! I miss those days.

:cry:

[rubberducky]

13. Funniest mother`s day story, ever!!

Printed, bookmarked, and a great big K&R, because we all NEED a laugh now and then!!!!!!!!

[lonestarnot]

17. Tee hee!

[tandot]

14. This is hilarious. I copied and pasted it and emailed it to family and friends

Thanks for posting this. K & R

:hi:

[lonestarnot]

18. No problema!

[alphafemale]

15. I can't stop giggling! Thank you! That was STELLAR!

Sent it to some Mom's I love.

[lonestarnot]

19. Hope they like it too.

[undergroundpanther]

16. I'm not a mother

But my mom sent me this...

[lonestarnot]

20. OMG Now that's funny!

:rofl:

[tandot]

23. Now, that is funny, too...

:evilgrin:

[havocmom]

21. Kick for the night shift

:kick:

[karlrschneider]

22. That's hilarious but here's a true story: One of my friends brushes his dog's teeth

with his (my friend's) toothbrush.

:eyes:

[lonestarnot]

26. I let the dog lick the bridgeclub's donuts and that's a true story.

:eyes:

[StarryNite]

24. Thanks for sharing that adorable

tale 'tail'.

[lonestarnot]

25. kick for the Mothers of DU

[blondie58]

27. too funny, thanks!

Out of the mouths of babes. Kids are so innocent and cool.

I once did some foster care for this geriatric older cat, Tigger who had a thyroid problem, causing him to have a voracious appetite, yet he was emaciated. He had come from a woman who passed away leaving behind seven cats and two dogs. I had seen Tigger at this shelter that I volunteer at and fell in love with him, so they let me take him home to give him some proper love. I knew that it was basically hospice care- for a cat- but what can I say- I am a big softie.

Well, Tigger unfortunately died at the ripe old age of 18. I was crying over him one day and my 14 year old daughter came up to me with a hug and said "do you know where Tigger is? He is in heaven. And he has a girlfriend. And they had babies."

When I reminded her that Tigger had been neutered, she countered with "Mom! This is heaven. Anything is possible."