Make Afghanistan and Iraq the 51st and 52nd states

[Hawkowl]

Seriously. I think we need to just incorporate these countries into the Union. It would solve two major problems. First it would end the "wars" immediately, and second, it would be a helluva lot cheaper for taxpayers!

It would be cheaper because Afghanistan and Iraq would immediately be cut off from all the hundreds of billions of dollars of socialism that we are spending on them. No more free schools, or roads, or simply buying off warlords. They'd have to pay for all that shit themselves as US states. I mean think of the privatization of health care, toll roads, no-child-left-a-dime education, everyone getting a college degree and buying their own land! This would be a bona-fide windfall for US lenders.

As U.S. states, we wouldn't have to bring the troops home, because they'd already be there! (home, that is being in the states).

As U.S. states, these two former countries would easily see their unemployment drop to single digits because hey, lets face it, most of those people haven't held jobs for YEARS, (lazy, shiftless, bastards), so they are obviously discouraged workers not part of the labor force, and thus do not count as unemployed! Another problem solved.

As U.S. states, they will experience a veritable hurricane of cash inflows. Seriously. Why? Because as U.S. states they have to hold elections! Not just any elections, but United States of America-corporations-have-free-speech-elections! CHA CHING BABY!! With all the oil over in Iraq and the TRILLIONS of dollars of mineral wealth in Afghanistan (according to the Pentagon), corporations will be spewing money into election campaigns faster than deep-water horizon has flooded the gulf with oil. Haliburton and Xe won't be able to conquer--they'll have to buy the elected officials the made in USA way!

What about resistance? Well as US states, we can allow unlimited "illegal" immigration, and then focus all our new citizens' dissatisfaction on those stinking (insert favorite ethnic slur) taking their jobs! They will be so busy hating those immigrants they won't have time to build IED's or complain about no unemployment benefits!

[Arctic Dave]

1. Crazy like a fox?