Man Already Knows Everything He Needs to Know About Muslims (Onion)

[Sparkly]

The amazing thing is that the Onion doesn't need to make these things up anymore.

SALINA, KS—Local man Scott Gentries told reporters Wednesday that his deliberately limited grasp of Islamic history and culture was still more than sufficient to shape his views of the entire Muslim world.

Gentries, 48, said he had absolutely no interest in exposing himself to further knowledge of Islamic civilization or putting his sweeping opinions into a broader context of any kind, and confirmed he was "perfectly happy" to make a handful of emotionally charged words the basis of his mistrust toward all members of the world's second-largest religion.

"I learned all that really matters about the Muslim faith on 9/11," Gentries said in reference to the terrorist attacks on the United States undertaken by 19 of Islam's approximately 1.6 billion practitioners. "What more do I need to know to stigmatize Muslims everywhere as inherently violent radicals?"

"And now they want to build a mosque at Ground Zero," continued Gentries, eliminating any distinction between the 9/11 hijackers and Muslims in general. "No, I won't examine the accuracy of that statement, but yes, I will allow myself to be outraged by it and use it as evidence of these people's universal callousness toward Americans who lost loved ones when the Twin Towers fell."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-already-knows-everything-he-needs-to-know-abou,17990/

My favorite: When the facts about the "mosque" is explained to him, he says: "I know all I'm going to let myself know." Perfect.

[Touchdown]

1. It was perfect.

They have the type down.

[williesgirl]

2. What's really scary is he's allowed to VOTE! rec'd