Tricky things, expectations.

[madamesilverspurs]

Years ago my aunt regaled me with the story of her high school graduation (which took place in 1927). As she entered her senior year her mother advised that her graduation gift would be the most amazing, incredible, wonderful thing in the world. So, as any teenager would, she spent the next several months fantasizing about the gift - a car? a mink coat? a trip to Europe? And she told all of her friends about it, of course, and they helped her to nourish the fantasy.

The day finally arrived. As she sat down at the breakfast table her beaming parents presented an envelope tied with a beautiful ribbon. She held it close, imagining that it contained a car title or ship tickets or a gift certificate. Removing the ribbon she opened the envelope to find a folded piece of paper, and she gasped as unfolding it revealed the highly decorative document conferring lifetime membership in the DAR. She was so stunned that she had no memory of the rest of the day.

Decades later she could laugh as she related that story, chuckling at her teenaged dreamy-eyed self, who failed to take into account that her mother was the state chairwoman of the DAR. And she told me that she'd eventually learned to be in charge of her expectations, because she was solely responsible for them. I never got the chance to tell her that her lesson had taken root. But that conversation eventually helped me to learn that I don't get to complain when people fall on me from atop the pedestals where I placed them; the pedestals have been gone for a very long time, and my expectations now tend to the reasonable.

Thanks, Aunt Alice.


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[Cha]

1. I good lesson to learn..

no matter how it gets through..your's a particularly interesting one, Silverspurs. :) Thank you.

[Enrique]

2. you make a good point

I have a new appreciation for my lifetime membership in the DLC. :thumbsup:

[Jennicut]

3. Loved this post. People are never as perfect as we expect them to be.

I was also asked to be in DAR and declined. It has that rep of being, you know, a bit racist...

[Bluenorthwest]

4. Aunt Alice sounds very polite

Her mother sounds like a jerk.

[madamesilverspurs]

12. Aunt Alice was a pistol,

and she came by it honestly. My grandmother was delightful, she was built like 'Aunt Bea' and had the same kind of voice; they don't make grandmothers like that anymore. She was part of the first generation of female voters and she took it very seriously. Her DAR stint was only one of her community involvements, it was her 'girl' thing while my grandfather did his 'guy' thing with the Knights Templar. So, no, Grandma wasn't a jerk; like most mothers of teens she was momentarily clueless about what was important to the next generation.

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[yowzayowzayowza]

5. Yep. At 29 I found myself advising a teenage step daughter who...

had serious legitimate issues with her mother. Without a whole lot of experience to rely on I quickly retreated to biblical/literary references and then whatever I could pull outa my ass. A decade and a half later she reported two tidbits had stuck with her. The first was a Shakespeare paraphrase, 'Tender thyself dearly'. The second nugget resides in my sig.

[zipplewrath]

7. You'll never be disappointed

As long as you keep your expectations low enough.

I don't advise it in matters of the heart however. Won't serve you well in matters of money either.

[yowzayowzayowza]

8. Expectation precision is useful in both matters of the heart and finance. n/t

[yowzayowzayowza]

9. For example:

The CPA Journal ... Assessing Expectation Precision

[damntexdem]

6. I expect so.

[Raine1967]

10. wonderful story.

as we grow up and become adults, it is our responsibility to learn reasonable expectations.

[Raine1967]

11. wonderful story.

as we grow up and become adults, it is our responsibility to learn reasonable expectations.