JFF, pretend you are a Birther

[Laura PourMeADrink]

You're a Birther, which of these two scenarios do you buy into? Because, there are really only
two mutually exclusive possibilities:
..(1) A 17 year girl concocted and executed this plan.
..(2) Obama committed the fraud at a later date

To believe the 17 year old girl did it, you have to believe:
..(1) She left her mom and dad to fly to a foreign country to have a baby
..(2) She chose a Kenyan hospital over an American hospital
..(3) She either bribed or convinced someone in the Hawaiian hospital/health department to phony up a birth certificate
..(4) She left Kenya with a 3 day old child, and was back in the US within 4 days to sign and file the phony birth certificate
..(5) From Kenya, she was savvy enough to submit the birth announcement in two papers.
..(6) She convinced those in Hawaii to lie and "remember" his Hawaiian birth.
..(7) She found a doctor to lie and say he delivered her baby
..(8) She convinced everyone who witnessed his birth in Kenya to stay mum, to this day.
..(9) She knew at 17 that someday it would matter where Barack was born


If you don't believe all this could happen, then the only other preposterous alternative is:

To believe Obama set this up at a later date, you have to believe:
..(1) He decided he wanted to be president but knew he wasn't born here.
..(2) But he checks, and luckily his mom's two birth announcements don't list a place of birth.
..(3) So now, he must figure out a way to get a fake certificate into the Hawaiian records.
..(4) He then must determine where any and all copies of his real Kenyan certificate may be (i.e. schools, licenses, etc.)
..(5) He must then arrange to destroy or pay off any entity with a record of his Kenyan certificate
..(6) He must find an expert forger
..(8) Even though it's been a long time since he was in Hawaii, he must find people to convince/bribe
..(9) He must find a Hawaiian doctor who is not alive and has no records of the babies he delivered so he can say he was his doctor
..(10)He must find any and all Hawaiian witnesses, people with recollections, and convince/bribe
..(11)He must make frequent trips to Hawaii to pull this off and remain low key.
..(12)He must convince everyone in Kenya to lie and say he wasn't born there
..(13)He must live the rest of his life hoping no one ever finds anything out.

[EffieBlack]

1. And even though she lived in a country in which a significant number of blacks still could not vote

and had no federally-protected civil rights and in which her marriage was invalid in several states, she believed that her little colored baby ("bi-racial" didn't exist - he had black blood, therefore he was black) would need to prove he was a natural-born American citizen so that he could run for president one day.

And she was so desperate that it appear that he was born in the United States that she named him "Barack Hussein Obama II."

And this 18-year-old white woman managed to smuggle both herself and a three-day-old Negro baby into the United States with absolutely no record of it and no one remembering them.

I wonder why it never occurred to her to: 1) just stay in the United States and give birth here; and 2) name him Barry Dunham.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

3. omg..love.your second point !! brilliant ! nt

[brooklynite]

2. You clearly don't understand (seriously) the birther structure...

There have always been two groups of birthers. The first group (the Philip Berg faction), which has always been the wackier bunch are the "Obama was born outside the US (Kenya, Indonesia, North Pole, take your pick). Hence any documentation that he was born in Hawaii is part of a vast conspiracy.

However the second group of birthers (the Orly Taitz faction), has never disputed that fact that the President was born in Hawaii. They believe however that this isn't good enough because his father wasn't American, or his mother wasn't an adult or any number of other legalistic gimmicks (nb - this is where the "birther baby" outrage has always come from). Never mind that the Courts have alway upheld the idea that if you're born here you're a citizen; they will continue to protest and sue untile the cows come home.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

6. Thanks for the education. Perhaps I was using the term Birther

too loosely,,,thinking mainly of the average joe - like my refrigerator repair man who was
here when the story broke and said "it took him two years to create a phony birth certificate."

[louis-t]

4. Well, the donald did say he's spent millions trying to

keep it hidden. :eyes:

[libmom74]

5. You forgot that

Obama (or his prescient 17 yr old mother) would also have to convince/bribe all persons who do background checks of presidential candidates (I would assume that the CIA/FBI do something of the sort prior to turning over the highest office in the nation and the most powerful military to just any Jack/Jane Doe). I've asked birthers about how one would do this I either get crickets or they change the subject.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

7. you are right ! As I was thinking this through..it hit me - how

did Obama get by without a US birth certificate if his mom wasn't the one who created a phony one. There
would have to be multiple records of him using a Kenyan one (if they even had such a certificate). It
makes me think he has always had a US one which would make his mom faking the whole thing the only true
possibility. (however, minute)

[Wait Wut]

8. Sorry, no way to answer that.

After reading the Subject Line I did what you said. I immediately lost all ability to form even the simplest abstract thought, began drooling on my keyboard and started craving cheap beer. The oddest part was, I had this overwhelming desire to cut off my nose. Not sure why, but I believe it had something to do with how I feel about my face.

I'll try again later after I hide all the sharp objects.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

9. lol. sorry I made you sick

[treestar]

11. Now that was a good one

:rofl:

Probably the most accurate. You'd forget how to spell, too and suddenly see communists everywhere.

[BlueIris]

10. Yeah, the one thing that angers me the most about the birthers

is related to that old adage, "You have to be an optimist to believe in conspiracy theories." Well, in the case of the birther conspiracies, you'd have to be the most optimistic (and delusional) person ever. The number of things that would have to be true if any of their claims were accurate is absurd, impossible. Sometimes I wonder which meds they've been taking, or stopped taking, to believe in their web of crazy...