"Obi-Wan Kenobi is Dead, Vader Says..."

[TygrBright]

Okay, this was a labor of great love and effort...

CORUSCANT — Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.

In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader's own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock.

But the punchline is (as is so often the case) in the comments...

+2101
Yoda · 2 days ago
Until body I see, belive it I will not.
Reply
57 replies · active 2 hours ago

+1105
Jedi4Lyfe · 2 days ago
Why won't Lord Vader show us the body?!
Reply
46 replies · active 7 hours ago

+1075
StormedTrooper · 2 days ago
Why are we still giving aid to Tatooine? They probably knew of Kenobi's existence the whole time and even helped him! That whole planet is just a big hive of scum and villainy.
Reply
20 replies · active 8 minutes ago


Mad props to the Galactic Empire Times team!

appreciatively,
Bright

[Gman]

1. Not Possibl not is

Became one with the force Obi-Wan did as Qui-Gon told Yoda. (After Qui-Gon died. Remember "An old friend has returned").

[The Traveler]

2. loloz! Brilliant! (n/t)

[jp11]

3. Quite funny since it wasn't that long ago that a similar report was released about General Kenobi

killing General Grievous.

"After the Republic received word that Grievous was hiding on Utapau, General Kenobi was sent to kill him. Still weak and injured from his encounter with Windu, he immediately revealed his four arms and attacked the Jedi. During the duel, Grievous's craven reflexes kicked in, and his inability to penetrate Kenobi's Form III defense made his offense grow sloppy. Kenobi took advantage of this and altered the angle of his parries to cut Grievous's wrists. Grievous lost two of his hands to Kenobi before Clone Marshal Commander Cody and the 212th Attack Battalion arrived, ambushing the droid army. Fighting broke out all over Pau City between droid and clone forces."

"Grievous, deprived of most of his arsenal, picked up a electrostaff and charged at Kenobi, raising the staff to finish him off. But before he could deliver the killing blow, Kenobi used the Force to summon Grievous's personal blaster to his outstretched hand. He fired five shots through the gap in Grievous' chest plate into the general's gut-sack. The oils preserving Grievous' organs burst into flames, incinerating his remaining biological components and killing the famed cyborg."

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Grievous#Death

The cyborg components of the General were left for looters in accordance with the Galactic Republic's tradition.

[yawnmaster]

4. And they gave him a burial in space. How convenient. eom