"Rapture Detector" Promises Early Warning

[The Straight Story]

"Rapture Detector" Promises Early Warning

An app promises to give users a 30 minute notice in advance of the "Rapture," or Judgment Day -- the moment, some say this Saturday, Christians believe they'll ascend into heaven, leaving everyone else in decidedly less pleasant conditions.

"Rapture Detector," promoted by a Reverend Billy Joe Estes, offers an unconventional religious strategy: users are told that "Sin, lust and fornication can be yours again!" because the Detector's half-hour heads-up provides enough time to repent and join those who've been pure all along.

...

The beginning of the Rapture has been forecast for May 21 this year. Despite the precision of the date, "Rapture Detector" could still prove useful since sources seem vague on the time -- like which time zone?

Although the app seems aimed at people uncertain of their status on Judgement Day, other services like "You've Been Left Behind" target people who expect to be Raptured. For $15 a month, the service will send post-Rapture messages to up to 62 e-mail addresses, perhaps explaining to those left behind where the user has gotten off to.

http://www.mobiledia.com/news/91000.html

[RT Atlanta]

sucker born every minute...

only $15 a month....

:)

[L0oniX]

1. Rapture Forecast: Variable winds less than 5 kt becoming WNW 5 to 9 kt. Mostly sunny. Seas 1 ft

[BobbyBoring]

2. If there really is a hell

There should be a special place in it for people like this.

[The Doctor.]

3. Not at all.

I'm glad this guy is taking advantage of these idiots. He's probably an atheist who can't stand the self-righteous, hypocritical, fundie morons either.

I'm just upset I don't have a bankroll to go around buying all these people's cars and homes for pennies on the dollar so they can enjoy their 'last few days'.

Of course I'd be kind enough to sell the stuff back to them... at a tidy profit.

[AsahinaKimi]

4. So, let me guess. this Rapture Dector is NOT FREE ?

Yeah, they don't need their money when they go.. so you may as well spend your entire savings on this item! Its the only thing you need!!


Wait.. Wait, wait.. are you sure its not RAPTOR DECTOR ??

[JuniperLea]

5. Ha!

Equally useful!

:rofl:

[damntexdem]

9. No, what you need is one of my raptor repellents.

I'll sell you one for only $10,000. Hey, I've been using one for decades and haven't been eaten by a raptor yet.

[sfwriter]

7. Why choose?

Why not both?

[Buns_of_Fire]

8. Do raptors get raptured?

Or are they all just hanging around at about 2500 feet to snack on all the people floating by? (Doesn't seem very sporting, if you ask me.)

[damntexdem]

10. Someone should tell Strauss-Kahn: it's not rapists who get raptured.

Though perhaps they should get raptored.

[AsahinaKimi]

11. self delete

eom.

[lapislzi]

6. Want.

I need to strategically position myself between a liquor store and a pharmacy for maximum lootage.

[hifiguy]

12. Somewhere in the cosmos, P.T. Barnum

is laughing his ass off.

"Chumps" doesn't begin to do these troglodytes justice. :rofl:

[lapislzi]

13. I went around the office and collected $0.50

from everyone who doesn't have an iPhone. I bought the app (for $0.99) and promised to text them as soon as I was notified. This totally rocks.

You can't spell "entrepreneur" without "rapture." Oh, wait. You can. Never mind.

[chaplainM]

14. Choose the more stupid sentence

1. The Rapture is coming May 21, 2011.

2. The Rapture is coming.

[SpiralHawk]

15. The RapTurd came and went, and all I got was this lousy graphic

[The Straight Story]

16. I like this pic: The great snatch....

[Skidmore]

17. So does this thing meaure ozone or light or methane or

something else to determine the threshold has been reached?

[PufPuf23]

18. The Rapture is 8:00 PM Saturday May 21 according to

Pacific Gas and Electric (we have a scheduled power outage from 8:00 PM Saturday to 1:30 PM Sunday May 22).

I figure a major corporation has the inside info.

[felix_numinous]

19. There needs to be a May 22nd documentary

featuring all their excuses for still being here.