AN OPEN LETTER TO MY CREDITORS

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

http://thedesperateblogger.com/2011/06/an-open-letter-to-my-creditors/

Dear Creditors:

This is to inform you that as of August 2, 2011, I will be temporarily suspending all payments on my current obligations.

Unfortunately this has become necessary because, based on my current contracts, agreements and other necessary spending, I will run out of cash by August 1. While in the past, I have gone to financial institutions or – if necessary – friends and/or family to secure loans in order to stay current, ‘greater minds than mine’ have informed me that these actions have been irresponsible. Even though I have already assumed these obligations, I am advised that I should suspend paying all of my bills until such time as I have formulated a plan that will reduce my level of future spending to the point that outside financing will not be necessary.

This may take a while, as the vast majority of my expenses are for necessities; rent, food, clothing, transportation, health insurance, assault weapons, ammunition, etc. Then, of course, there’s things like phone and internet. While some I have asked feel these are unnecessary luxuries, others tell me they are essential. While I think getting rid of them entirely might actually do more harm than good, as it would greatly hamper any efforts to secure full-time employment, I’ll need to figure out a way to cut these costs.

As for luxuries such as ‘going out once in a while’, I’ve discontinued that – but as I had already cut back significantly, the present savings are minimal.

I had thought about asking my employers to pay more for my services in order to increase my revenue to a level where I might -- along with cutting back on non-essentials such as meat and fresh fruits and vegetables – be able to make ends meet. But again, I have been advised that revenue is not my problem – spending is.

So, since it would be irresponsible of me to pay current obligations and necessary expenses until I have a fiscally responsible plan to avoid future debt in place, as stated above, I will suspend all payments effective August 2nd. I am unable to tell you at present when the new plan will be in place, but remain confident it won’t be long, as by August 5th or 6th I imagine I’ll be getting pretty hungry.

In the event you don’t hear from me by August 10th, I have enclosed contact information for the executor of my estate.

I remain confident that this necessary action will in no way impact our future business relationships, particularly in areas such as the fees and interest charged on my accounts.

Sincerely,


The Desperate Blogger


cc. The United States House of Representatives

[annabanana]

1. very good. . . n/t

[rucky]

2. WIN

:fistbump:

[Motown_Johnny]

3. Creditors response:

Stop helping your parents, other than clipping some coupons, and we can talk.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

6. Hey... screw them...

They GOT their Medicare... :mad:

[woo me with science]

7. Also....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=1208332&mesg_id=1208332

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

8. Hadn't seen that...

nice...

and contempt of court is one thing -- but I always thought that jailing someone for a civil liability was unconstitutional.

Must be one of the Amendments the great defenders of our Constitution don't like...

[woo me with science]

9. The list is growing, isn't it. nt

[awoke_in_2003]

15. "jailing someone for a civil liability was unconstitutional"...

The Patriot Act goes against everything the Constitution stands for- didn't stop the republicans (and most democrats) from passing it into law, or Pres. Obama for extending it.

[valerief]

4. You should really spend your time verbally assaulting women at

abortion clinics, too.

:sarcasm:

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

5. Well, at least the ones...

who got knocked-up by married, pro-life Republican office-holders.... :nopity:

[sulphurdunn]

10. May I say that your

reorganizational strategy would be admired on Wall Street. Too bad you don't have the Feds to pay your bills like it does.

[rpannier]

11. Wish I had seen that sooner

Cuz I'd have rec'd it and told my friends to as well

[russspeakeasy]

12. Thanks, I needed that.

[GTurck]

13. Well said...

I wrote a similar piece for our local paper and they ran it on a Sunday. It is a very good way to explain the current GOP non-thinking meme on cutting taxes and cutting services to solve a deficit problem that only gets worse as time goes along.
Bravo for saying this so well.

[Pharaoh]

14. You could try sending them a spider

next time they ask :party:



http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

[Yon_Yonson]

16. As one who's been there, survived and sworn off credit

I love this novel approach!

[cachukis]

17. Nicely done.