Once Again it's a Woman

[dynasaw]

who has to hold it together while her life falls apart:

"In a display of loyalty that surprised many outsiders, Cate Edwards walked into a North Carolina federal courthouse last week with her father, John Edwards, the former senator and presidential candidate who had cheated on her mother and shattered his career and their family."

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/09/us/politics/09edwards.html?_r=1&hp

Welcome to the heartbreak club Cate. Join your Mom, Hilary, Chelsea, Maria, Anne (Sinclair), SIlda (Spitzer) and of late Huma (Wiener) because now it's up to you to clean up the mess, hang on to your dignity and take care of the family.

I've often wondered if these guys would stand by their women if the reverse were true. 2011 and we're still playing by the same gender rules.

[RZM]

1. I'm sure she would stand by Elizabeth had she been the one misbehaving

Family is family.

[ensho]

6. misbehaving? what a mild word to use for what he did

nt

[RZM]

9. I've never been much of an Edwards fan

Didn't have much of an opinion either way in 2004. But I found his 2008 campaign to be nothing but empty posturing. I got the sense he would have been just as comfortable campaigning as a conservative Dem. I lost most of my respect for him then, so the baby mama scandal was really just an anticlimax for me. But I get what you're saying . . . he's pretty shady. My point was that I don't think anyone should read much into his daughter supporting him. He's her father and I'm sure she loves him very much. In the long run it's probably best for kids to stay emotionally detached when parents cheat on one another, if only for their own sanity and emotional health.

[trumad]

2. If my wife cheated on me.....

would I stand by her?

I think that depends on the circumstances.

If she was on a weekend trip with some friends and hooked up with a guy for a quickie...drank to much---dude was hot, whatever.... and that was that--- well... I think I'd be more forgiving....than...

If I walked into my house and caught her banging my best friend in my bed.

Again---it seriously depends on the circumstances.

In Weiners case---if my wife was tweeting a bunch of guys pictures of her private parts.... I'd say damn... what up with that? Would I leave her for it... don't think so although I'd like to know what the hell she's doing it for.

In Edwards case...if she got knocked up by some dude... especially a dude she had been having an ongoing affair with... that would be tough.

So---I'll say it again.... it seriously depends on the circumstances.

[seabeyond]

3. those are a lot of public events that make it so visible, and i hate seeing the woman standing

beside the man while he does his apologizing, BUT

i have seen many situations where the man stands by his woman, long after she should be kicked to the curb.

so i dont see it as a gender thing either.

[RC]

5. Why isn't your wife your best friend?

Less need to worry about straying then.

[Bunny]

4. You know, she's not his wife.

She's his daughter. Daughters can be a lot more forgiving than wives. I think she can stand by her father if she wants to, without any need to clean up his 'mess', or take care of his family, or whatever.

[dynasaw]

7. It's the Unconditional Support

that these women appear to give, as opposed to a response (from a man) similar to the one from the DUer above that is so striking. The response from the
DUer (presumably from a man) begins with "it depends on the circumstances" where a woman might hypothetically be the rogue case, is where the gender
divide appears to be so striking.

The other response from the DUer about knowing "many men" who have stood by their women who should have been kicked into the curb also doesn't c
cover the arena of high powered men (to whom we entrust our very lives). These are males who having basically shown appalling failures of judgement,
then need to run for cover under the skirts off "the little woman." The whole "for better for worse" pledge still seems to me to be an asymmetrical bargain
where equal measures of support are concerned. In slightly different circumstances, apropos of the Newt Gingrich case, would a woman politician hand over
divorce papers to a husband who has had his cancerous testicle removed? I can hear it coming, "well it depends."

[RZM]

10. MItch Daniels took his wife back after she ran off

And it ended up costing him his chance at the Republican nomination.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2011/05/22/why_mitch_daniels_said_no_109948.html

[Bonobo]

8. Vagina = good. Penis = Bad. Progesterone = Good. Testosterone = Bad.

nt

[dynasaw]

11. Pure reductionism

this sort of thinking is unworthy of any DUer. time to learn the differences between sex (your plumbing) and gender (your gender socialization).

[seabeyond]

12. bonobo = strawman? nt