When is the last time you cared whether your boss was having an affair?

[Taverner]

When is the last time a co-worker having an affair affected your business relationship with them?

When is the last time an affair, sexting, or otherwise canoodling on the part of a co-worker, on their own time, created an unproductive work environment?

[JanMichael]

1. It's happened in places I've worked and the respect level dives.

Sorry that's just what I've seen.

[Liberal_in_LA]

45. yup. It's happened where I work. boss having what he thinks is a secret affair

with secretary level employee. Everyone knows and talks about it. Awkward work environment.

[PeaceNikki]

2. Ewww. If I knew my boss was using an account tied to work to tweet his peep to customers/potential

customers. I'd be grossed out. All day long.

[Taverner]

4. What if it was on their own time?

[PeaceNikki]

5. Because it reflects on the standards of my company when that's happening.

And it's just colossally poor judgement.

[Taverner]

7. I didn't read your post in full

And I changed my answer

Thing is, if it were their personal account, done on personal time, why would it be anyone's business?

[PeaceNikki]

10. Nope.

See, that's my issue. It's always been my issue with this mess. I could give a shit about the infidelity, even the lying about it. I don't even give a shit that he's into cyber and/or phone sex. My issue is this: most people do this stuff with people they know and trust... OR anonymously. He was unfuckingbelievably "WOO HOO, I'M ANTHONY WEINER, LOOKIT MY WEINER!!" about it... it was his "hook". And that's really fucking dumb.

[Taverner]

18. While I agree he was engaging in very stupid behavior, we need all the progressives we can get

All I care about Weiner is his voting record.

[PeaceNikki]

I agree. I never called for his resignation, however I can see why party leaders would.

He sent lewd pictures and communicated with not one, not two, not three, but SIX random women he didn't know at ALL on the internet. People he didn't know and couldn't even come close to trusting. Now it's an issue and it's the ONLY thing we're talking about. And we wouldn't be if he hadn't been such a fucking fool. His credibility is shot. He clearly has ZERO sense of judgement if he thought his actions would not get out. Fucking idiot. How did you think this would end, Weiner? I really thought you were a smart man.

He reflects poorly on our "brand". We are Democrats. He used the same account for public communication as he used to tweet his peeper. That's weird and wrong. If any of us had an account on Twitter or Facebook that we used for our high-profile jobs, then used it to find customers/potential customers who liked us to troll for people we could "cyber" with THEN used the SAME said account to do that, we'd quite understandably be toast.

And further, my party is facing a very difficult and very important fight here in Wisconsin right now. While Weiner is not from WI, any damage to the party directly hurts me and us. Again, I understand.

[WillyT]

12. So... I Guess Photo-Copying My Bare Butt Would Be Crossing The Line ???

:hide::evilgrin::hide:

:yoiks:

[PeaceNikki]

22. Nope, just give it to someone you trust, don't mail it to all of the customers.

:angel:

[WillyT]

39. Sage Advice... Thank You...

:D

:rofl:

:bounce:

:hi:

[PeaceNikki]

42. And don't print it on company letterhead, attach your business card and then print it in

The Daily Rag... by mistake.

kthxbai

:)

[Poll_Blind]

3. Never. At least not in the experiences I've had.

PB

[dems_rightnow]

6. I've seen it

He lost the respect of the office, and became the butt of office jokes. In short, he lost his office.

[Taverner]

9. So you think they should have been fired for something they did on their own time?

How far are you willing to extend your interest?

Would you care if they were buying porn?

Would you care if they were a different religion than you?

Would you care if that person and their SO were 'swingers'?

[dems_rightnow]

17. I'm just tellin' ya what happened.

You asked.

And people who cheat on their spouses are often held in low esteem by those who know about it.

[laundry_queen]

40. This is true

Everytime I find out about someone cheating, I immediately reflect on what a POS they are and I don't respect them at all after that, whether it is a boss or a friend or otherwise. In one office, one of the guys was boinking a girl from another department, bringing his wife to the Christmas parties and ditching her to screw his co-worker in the bathroom. Most people tried to stay out of it, but those that knew, thought he was a disgusting POS and they didn't trust him with any information, or with their clients. Said POS thought no one knew and thought he was pretty important in the company. Little did he know what people really thought of him. And it affected work too, because clients started finding out and asking for other reps to take care of them.

My ex cheated on me (FTR, I held the cheaters=scum view before my experience), and even people he still thinks admire him and are his friends came up to me after to let me know just what they really thought of him. And it's not very nice.

[seabeyond]

52. i dont get the push that we are suppose to not have an opinion of someone that would be so ugly

hurting other people. we are suppose to "laugh" about it, or it is not suppose to effect how we see the person.

if we saw the person cheating in other ways, hurting people in other ways, we would form opinions, but cause this is sex, to be cool, we are not suppose to think anything about it.

it says something about the person that would behave in this manner, whether people on du want to believe it or not. i gotta wonder about the people that see it as no big deal.

[drmeow]

8. 1986

Of course, it was an office love triangle involving my boss, a co-worker she also supervised, and one of the scientists so a bit more than just having an affair.

[Zoigal]

11. A long time ago, but it certainly made me loose respect for him (and his "special" friend

professionally as well as personally. She was a
person with whom i had to work closely and she reported her take on everything
that went on in meetings, etc back to him. I was the new person on the team
and wasn't aware. Not fun.....z

[HopeHoops]

13. Um, never. I LAUGHED about a bunch of them, but never cared.

On Edit:

At one company (more than seven years ago so statute of limitations has run out), the president of the company was a royal asshole and his squeeze had a six-figure job doing, well, I guess just him because she didn't do anything else. I worked a lot of evenings and weekends because the office was quiet. One weekend, my wife and I stopped by after we had been out at a bar in the area and I fucked the shit out of her on the president's leather couch in his office - AND on his desk. Nya nya.

Take THAT Les!

[MrScorpio]

14. Never

Even when I saw it with my own eyes

[lumberjack_jeff]

15. Provided it's not someone with whom I'm competing for a promotion, I could care less. n/t

[LadyHawkAZ]

16. Once

when the shop steward had the hots for a certain young man, and broke contract rules to help advance him.

So: once. In 22 years.

[tabasco]

19. I don't care about my boss' personal life.

I care about their leadership ability.

[Motown_Johnny]

20. I am friends with my boss and his wife. I would care because I care about them and

their children.

That does not mean that I believe it is any of my business, I don't.


The last time an affair affected my business relationship with a coworker is when I broke up with someone I was dating whom I worked with. We were both unmarried and unattached so the word "affair" might not be applicable. It was many years ago. (~10)


My answer to the last question is the same as to the previous one.

[phantom power]

21. Not. My. Problem.

[Ikonoklast]

23. At a previous place of employment.

Supervisor was carrying on a long-standing affair with a member of management, and she used him to retaliate against anyone that was a threat to her.

Destroyed the business relationship of the entire department, but ownership did nothing, even though they knew exactly what was going on.

She had fucked all of them, too, at one time or another, and they were being blackmailed by her.

All parties involved were married people.


It was a poisonous place to work.

[Name removed]

24. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[u4ic]

25. Twice

Once was at a non profit for people with disabilities, and they were the only 2 non-disabled people. On their own they were ok, but once the affair started, they teamed up and tried to 'alter' some people's work reputation; deliberate targeting. Even though everyone else knew what was going on (ie the lies they created) and they were power trippers, it was quite stressful until they left.

Another was a pharmacist and owner of a drug store who was having an affair with one of the delivery people (from another company who made deliveries to that store). She would arrive for work late, unkempt/unhygenic (not great for a health professional) and expected her staff to carry her workload until she decided she was ready to work (she was the only pharmacist on duty, btw). It would happen once or twice a week, and then someone had overheard a conversation between them, thus explaining the reason for her 'episodes'. I left soon after, don't know if the problem continued.

If it creates a dysfunctional work situation, that can be an issue. Other than that, I personally don't care what people do in their private lives.

[eilen]

26. I think it is more akin to knowing a coworker goes to strip joints on his time off.

I used to have a friend who stripped and I had no loss of respect for her. And yes, she lied about it when she felt she needed to. She also had a publicity portfolio with pics of her "half naked". Anthony in a towel, big whoop. I wonder if they will trot out his naked baby pictures next.

I really wish people would get a grip. I don't believe the man intended to distribute the photos over the tv and on the smoking gun website. I think he had a level of trust with the women he was EXCHANGING tweets and pics with. I notice he has not released any photos tweeted to him.

I guess everyone wants to be Jessica Hahn, Genifer Flowers, Donna Rice, Monica Lewinsky.
I see a reality show in the future and at least a Playboy photo diary series.

[Warren Stupidity]

27. when the startup I was at collapsed and his mistresses' apartment

furnishings ended up in the emergency corporate assets storage pile o'junk on the second floor of the building we fled to overnight.

[Canuckistanian]

28. How did you feel when your doctor/lawyer/optometrist was FORCED to reveal sexual secrets?

Would you cancel all your appointments? DEMAND their immediate resignations? Post inflammatory messages about them on the internet?

I'd really like to know.

[laundry_queen]

41. I'd cancel all my appointments

but that's just me.

[Canuckistanian]

44. Fair enough

But I draw the line at tarring and feathering.

[lynne]

47. Actually, just occurred to husband's doctor -

- found his face on front page of local paper, arrested for feeling up a patient while alone in exam room. I'd met him in consultation regarding my husband and so disliked him that we changed from him years ago. He was terribly arrogant and very sexist and his arrest did not surprise me at all.

We were ahead of the curve on that one!

[B-Stupid]

29. Where I work

office relationships are a no go.

[-..__...]

30. It would be a nice piece of leverage...

blackmail/ace-in-the-hole to have in ones favor (especially if they had ample indisputable evidence), to wave in a bosses face when termination/being fired is immanent... especially if the boss was a genuine asshole.

Other than that... I really wouldn't give a fuck.

[Demobrat]

31. At one of the ad agencies I worked for

the Creative Director was boffing one of the young female staffers. Said young female was given plum assignments she was in no way qualified for, so that they would have an excuse to travel together (he was married). I cared. I cared a lot. And so did most of the young dues-paying staffers, because we knew we could never compete. She got the wheat and everybody else got the chaff. And of course new jobs as soon as we could.

[Raine]

32. Well it can cause lots of problems especially

when employees have to participate by telling lies to cover for someone else. It sucks to be stuck in the middle lying to the wife when she calls or comes in and knowing that the boss is out screwing. Makes the work environment toxic.

[kcass1954]

33. I don't care - so long as it doesn't affect me. If it does, look out!

I was a vp working for an exec vp in the 90's. That bastard made my work life absolutely miserable. Not because he was doing the controller, but because he wanted me out so he could bring in his guy. The board wouldn't let him fire me. He finally got his wish. I quit.

I have no idea how his (now ex-) wife found out about the controller. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

[tularetom]

34. When I caught them in the act

We had a big vault in the office (you couldn't lock it) and I went in there during lunch hour one day to get some files. There they were, in a chair facing each other, both nekkid from the waist down. I was astounded and froze for a second mumbled "excuse me" and backed out of there snickering to myself.

And he was VERY nice to me after that. I was already being groomed to take over when he left but I started getting "walk on water" performance reviews, a nicer office, and went to the front of the line for a new car.

He left about four years later and we had a few drinks together at his going away dinner. He almost turned inside out thanking me for keeping my mouth shut (I didn't even tell my wife) and we've stayed sort of friends for 25 years or so.

His "partner" was a very nice, married lady from another department so it wasn't a boss/subordinate kind of thing. After "the incident" she couldn't look me in the eye and we had a very awkward working relationship for a few more years until she took another job.

The hardest thing about this whole episode for me was to keep my secret to myself. I can't tell you how many times I would just crack up in my car driving home from work thinking about it. I still smile at the memory.

[Bluenorthwest]

35. No 'boss' in my world, but a co-worker's affair has been more

trouble than you can possibly imagine. It has been sometime, but oh, mercy, what a truck load of trouble.

[lynne]

36. When his wife called to say she was on her way to see him -

- while he was bonging his girlfriend on his office floor. I had to shove a note under the door as he was too busy to answer the intercom. THAT'S when I cared as I didn't want to be in the middle of that.

[pipi_k]

54. Too bad she called first...

I can only imagine the scuffle that might have happened had she come over without warning and just walked into his office.

And I wouldn't have tried to stop her, either...

:evilgrin:

[Springer9]

37. Never really, but I don't consider my political representatives

to be my BOSS in any shape or manner. They represent ME and work for Me not the the other way around. If I don't like how they comport themselves I'll damn well let them know. I do the same with my employees.

[Curmudgeoness]

38. I cared, when I had to do his "special friend's" work all the time

because she was too "busy" filing her nails and getting raises (of more than one kind).

If it would not have changed the office environment or her work, I would never have given a shit.

[RebelOne]

43. My boss was having an affair with a co-worker.

I could have cared less. Neither one was married any way. They eventually moved in together.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

46. Can't answer- way over 99 weeks since last job.

More upsetting than sex-ting to me.

[Ilsa]

48. It can affect morale of a group, especially if

workers know and like the spouse.

[ej510]

49. Never.

[seabeyond]

50. boss having an affair? i dont respect him. same if employee is stealing supplies or taking long

lunches or boss is fudging on the time cards.

i dont respect it. and i would not trust that person.

[HipChick]

51. When his wife called me, because she found my number all over his cell phone..

She called me up, demanding to know where he was..apparently she just 'knew' he was having an affair, and called every 'female sounding' name in his cell phone that she found..and totally put his business out on the street. He had cheated before, because that's they met, he had an affair with her, when he was married to his previous wife. Turns out she was spot on, he was cheating on her, but not with me..

[robcon]

53. If you extend the word boss: I cared about Edwards, Schwartzeneggar, Vitter, Spitzer and Weiner.

I thought less of each one of them.

But that's not why Weiner should resign. His false accusations and lies are why he has to go.

[otohara]

55. I Cared, It Made For A Terrible Work Enviornment

He was married, the girlfriend would stroll into work whenever she felt like it and no one could say boo to her. Dang, I just remembered another boss I had who was doing a really young gal...for a reason. He was using her to ship counterfeit product by promoting her to "head buyer". She was so young and so dumb, she couldn't see what he was up to, until the FBI came a calling.

Lots of gossip surrounded these affairs and it did disrupt work, and you lose respect for your boss.